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  • Category: Women
  • Founded: Dec 24, 1998
  • Language: English
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#21885 From: "SherriD" <sherrifrederick1005@...>
Date: Thu Dec 2, 2010 1:40 pm
Subject: UUUMMMMMMMMMMMmm;;;;;;;;;;;;;; a couple of big questions;
sherrifreder...
Send Email Send Email
 
Number one, why does my son still have a cps/DCS case worker if my Parental rights were "Terminated" in a KANGAROO COURT???????  (The requirements for "Terminating" parental rights WERE NOT met under the law, nor found by CLEAR AND CONVINCING EVIDENCE, NOR, was there EVER any substantiation of abuse, neglect or finding of parental unfitness!!) -----Can you say  "JUdicial misconduct/Judicial abuse, doing this as a MEANS TO PUNISH ME, because numerous DCS idiots, their contractors and others DID NOT LIKE ME, RATHER THAN  finding for the Best interests of my son?????????

Number 2, since my son has been in foster care for such a long time, isn't it time to demand he be returned to his mother???

if the state has NO Compelling reason to shut me out of his life, it is OBVIOUS that some one is in control of the situation, and is Telling DCS what to do, and has done since DAY ONE!!

I need some help with lots of issues, please, SOMEONE who can help me "Connect the legal dots" get in touch with me!!

There is TOO MUCH Going on that DOESN'T MAKE ANY LEGAL SENSE!!
(more information WILL be provided to someone who can give me some assistance!! ) 

If you can, please call me at 317-885-9213 x 304 and say "I'm calling for Angie Watts" so i will know you are NOT someone i dont' want to talk to..........
for the LOVE of Fred!!  "Let's help make Fred whole, again!!"




#21888 From: "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...>
Date: Sun Dec 5, 2010 6:22 am
Subject: empowering the abused child
kathlynross
Send Email Send Email
 
My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt
during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old.
Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I
live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship.
I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse
and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the
court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has
changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set
and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of
parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her
diplomatically he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she
doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear
but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling
him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies
to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be
excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How
do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???

#21897 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 4:15 pm
Subject: SF Unified Family Court
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
As someone who had their case rigged and has a hearing coming up for child
support next week with Wightman, I need some pointers. Unlike most of you, my
custody case is in another state where I live. I have sole custody. THANK GOD
after reading all your stories. HORRIFFIC.

But this does not mean my child is beyond the poison tenticles of the CA custody
system. In 2009, Slabach has turned child support hearings into custody hearings
by creating collateral support/custody mandates. As in requiring me to seek my
ex's permission to put my kid in school, have him approve my work schedule. If
he doesn't "approve" he doesn't have to pay. She then promptly chopped my child
support 70% below guideline, and we litigated this point to the tune of
$120,000. It was BRUTAL.

OBVIOUSLY, I do not need to pay a lawyer and travel 3000 miles to california to
ask my ex to approve my activities and pay at his discretion.

I point out to you that I actually found where my ex had charged payments to the
Father's Rights Coalition on his credit card statements. I called him out in
court. Since I was testifying by phone, I could not see Slabach's or my ex's
face. She then transferred the case to Wightman because I opened a case with
DCSS.  The day after, my child support check was "lost."

I have done my homework and discovered their funding, "the players," and how
DCSS in SF works. I will share this information when I figure out the best way
to do so. I need your help to get through the hearing.

The hearing is a contempt, and they want me to be there in person. I can't
because the late child support made all my checks bounce. I researched and put
in a motion for fees. It is an ex parte motion, which is the kiss of death. But
my motion is pretty clear that I know what the gig is.

I need someone to drop it off on monday at 400 mcallister street. I do not know
anyone in SF. If I can't go to the hearing, I need someone to sit in the room
and tell me what happened.


If you have advice or know anyone who can help, I would appreciate it.

#21898 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:20 pm
Subject: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
I was wondering if anyone had ever tried filing a SLAPP motion in response to
this PAS garbage science? The purpose of asserting PAS is to bleed mothers dry
and coerce them into giving up custody. The purpose is to SILENCE protective
parents and abused children. Parenting is a constitutionally protected activity
right? Since the court is maliciously prosecuting the case and selling your
rights to GAL's, therapists, mediators, visitation centers, etc. during
discovery, do you know anyone who has tried this? What about if you are the
defendant in counterclaims? I am curious to see if anyone can share their
experiences.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation

"A strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP) is a lawsuit that is
intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the
cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.[1]

The typical SLAPP plaintiff does not normally expect to win the lawsuit. The
plaintiff's goals are accomplished if the defendant succumbs to fear,
intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the
criticism. A SLAPP may also intimidate others from participating in the debate.
A SLAPP is often preceded by a legal threat....To win an anti-SLAPP motion, the
defendant must first show that the lawsuit is based on constitutionally
protected activity. Then, the burden shifts to the plaintiff, to affirmatively
present evidence to show that they have a reasonable probability of prevailing
on the action. The filing of an anti-SLAPP motion stays all discovery. This
feature acts to greatly reduce the cost of litigation to the anti-SLAPP
defendant, and can make beating the motion extremely difficult for the
plaintiff, because they effectively must prove their case without the benefit of
discovery."


Here is the definitions of

#21899 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:29 pm
Subject: Re: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 

Karen Winner is specifically mentioned as the catalyst in establishing this legal concept, which I found interesting:

    "Karen Winner, the author of "Divorced From Justice," published in 1996 by ReganBooks/Harper Collins, is recognized as "[the] catalyst for the changes that we adopted," said Leo Milonas, a retired justice with the Appellate Division of the New York state courts who chaired a special commission that recommended the changes adopted by Chief Judge Judith Kaye.[15] But in 1999, Winner, along with a psychologist/whistleblower, and several citizens were SLAPPed for criticizing the guardian ad litem system and a former judge in South Carolina. Winner's report, "Findings on Judicial Practices & Court-appointed Personnel In The Family Courts In Dorchester, Charleston & Berkeley Counties, South Carolina" and citizen demonstrations led to the very first laws in South Carolina to establish minimum standards and licensing requirements for guardians ad litem — who represent the interests of children in court cases.[16] The retaliatory SLAPPs have been dragging on for nearly 10 years, with judgments totaling more than $11 million against the co-defendants collectively. Reflecting the retaliatory nature of these suits, at least one of the co-defendants is still waiting to find out from the judges which particular statements if any he made were actually false.[17]"

 


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I was wondering if anyone had ever tried filing a SLAPP motion in response to this PAS garbage science? The purpose of asserting PAS is to bleed mothers dry and coerce them into giving up custody. The purpose is to SILENCE protective parents and abused children. Parenting is a constitutionally protected activity right? Since the court is maliciously prosecuting the case and selling your rights to GAL's, therapists, mediators, visitation centers, etc. during discovery, do you know anyone who has tried this? What about if you are the defendant in counterclaims? I am curious to see if anyone can share their experiences.
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation
>
> "A strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP) is a lawsuit that is intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.[1]
>
> The typical SLAPP plaintiff does not normally expect to win the lawsuit. The plaintiff's goals are accomplished if the defendant succumbs to fear, intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the criticism. A SLAPP may also intimidate others from participating in the debate. A SLAPP is often preceded by a legal threat....To win an anti-SLAPP motion, the defendant must first show that the lawsuit is based on constitutionally protected activity. Then, the burden shifts to the plaintiff, to affirmatively present evidence to show that they have a reasonable probability of prevailing on the action. The filing of an anti-SLAPP motion stays all discovery. This feature acts to greatly reduce the cost of litigation to the anti-SLAPP defendant, and can make beating the motion extremely difficult for the plaintiff, because they effectively must prove their case without the benefit of discovery."
>
>
>
>


#21900 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:22 am
Subject: Re: empowering the abused child
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he
is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know
what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad
doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I
would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he
would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we
don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make
choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not
control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will
change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him
how he made you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for
sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes
dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you
for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are
so awesome."

Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is
with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good
thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to
harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid
up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that
if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect
herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.

THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's
website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar
records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need
to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will
not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.

--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>
> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt
during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old.
Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I
live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship.
I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse
and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the
court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has
changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set
and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of
parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her
diplomatically he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she
doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear
but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling
him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies
to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be
excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How
do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>

#21901 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:29 am
Subject: Re: Contacting the governor of INdiana
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
You are not going to win that fight. He has no incentive to help you.

I would go on NAFCJ.net and figure out who these connections are and why they
are helping her. This has nothing to do with your kid likely---IT IS ABOUT
PROFIT.  Somebody is getting paid to keep your kid from you, and that person
does not necessarily want to be part of it.

THE SYSTEM is many individuals put together, but each one does not necessarily
agree with THE SYSTEM itself. People do what is best for themselves until it
becomes unaffordable.

Do not do anything shady or illegal. Just figure out the game and see what you
can accomplish reasonably. Liz's website is great.



--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "SherriD" <sherrifrederick1005@...>
wrote:
>
> I have a question, i have met a gentleman who knows the GOvernor of
> Indiana, Personally and i have explained my situation involving the
> wrongful taking of my son by dcs and the resulting vindictive and
> fraudulent "Termination' of parental rights issued by a crooked judge
> who did so  based on "The Evidence Demonstrates" instead of "Clear and
> convincing Evidence" as required by law.
> the point is is that I HAVE NEVER ABUSED OR NEGLECTED MY SON< and DCS
> never had a case against me in the first place, however, they never
> planned on returning my son to me, the planned on allowing the foster
> monster to adopt him, because of her political connections in this
> county, NOT because i am unable or incapable of parenting my son, i am
> CLEAN, SOBER Loving and responsible and my son has NEVER SUSTAINED abuse
> or neglect as a result of anything ON MY part, he has, in fact, been
> through out and out HELL while in FOster care, because this Foster
> Monster HAS A PERSONAL AGENDA AGAINST ME and wants the world to know
> that i am the most evil monster on the face of the earth, when there
> exists no evidence to support her accusations!!
>
> Any way, i wanted to know if anyone thought that if i PERSONALLY Got a
> letter to Governor Daniels if it would do any good????????
> Thanks
> For the LOVE of my son................
>

#21903 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:39 am
Subject: Re: http://www.valetteclark.com/Home/all-of-the-payees-are-trying-to-shut-down-the-w
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, Tiffini Flynn Forslund
<tiffiniflynnmn@...> wrote:
>
> Liora,
> Curious where you are and your situation.
>
> Thanks,
> Tiffini MN
>
>
> Tiffini Flynn Forslund
> 763-315-9087 Home
> 612-390-0139 Cell
> tiffiniflynnmn@...
> http://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffiniflynnforslund
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> To: Valette <valette61@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Mon, September 27, 2010 6:03:53 AM
> Subject:Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM]
>
http://www.valetteclark.com/Home/all-of-the-payees-are-trying-to-shut-down-the-w
>
>
> Valette would you mind talking to me about this?
> Liora Farkovitz
> On Sep 26, 2010 3:09 PM, "Valette" <valette61@...> wrote:
> > Hello,
> > I received an order in response to the petition to shut down
> >www.valetteclark.com or remove all documents proving fraud and corruption in
our
> >family case. As expected, on 9-13-10, Judge Kathleen R. Mulligan entered an
> >order. On its face the order appears to be removing "business documents" some
of
> >which do not exist and never have.  The items specifically named to be
removed
> >in section 2, A-M are all of evidence of fraud such as personal emails from
me
> >to and from my own lawyers and the family division, changed court orders for
> >child support, correspondence and court orders pertaining to child support,
the
> >settlement agreement and insurance. Judge Mulligan goes a step further in
> >refusing me the right to speak in posts or blogs about my personal financial
> >situation pertaining to child support or insurance now or in the future or on
> >any other web site claiming this information is protected by an agreement
> >specifically removing any documents other than corporate documents owned by
the
> >medical practice known as Ophthalmology Associates of Osbourne...
> >
> > Sanctions will ensue if the man who: 1) raped his sons with a broom stick 2)
> >tried to murder his ex wife 3) beat kicked and battered his family for 16
years
> >etc., is not satisfied that I am complying with this order....
> >
> >
> >
>

#21904 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:42 am
Subject: Re: Fw:
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, Esjae <laverdadahora@...> wrote:
>
>
> My bad.  i forgot how reply in this group goes to the sender and not to the
group.
>
> this was Terri's response to my cursing email...LOL
>
> If you can't write to me without cussing, don't write to me.
>
> You deciding to stay ignorant of the facts is only hurting you and your
children.
>
> That's on you.
>
> My bad, Terri, I didn't mean to corner you, but I did mean to curse...or
"cuss"
>
> I'm not staying ignorant because I have also read the research and even the
major "father's advocates" researchers conclude....that forced shared parenting
does NOT work.
>
> And again, I say....most women are all FOR shared parenting...when it begins
in the relationship.  Why doesn't anyone ever ask that question?  Why don't
your fathers stand up in front of the court, and tell the judge how much
parental sharing they did, in the intact household?
>
> Shared parenting is about reducing and eliminating child support. period. 
there is no argument, because if there was an argument, the father would be
arguing about assuming more care in the marriage.  Furthermore, children need
continuity [of care], why not argue for continuity parenting?  ALL research has
found that children benefit the most when they can resume what was previously
being done, to the best of that family's ability. 
> --- On Sun, 7/26/09, Esjae <laverdadahora@...> wrote:
>
> From: Esjae <laverdadahora@...>
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Family Rights 101: Why is there a fathers 
rights mov...
> To: "Teri Stoddard" <teri.sharedparentingworks@...>
> Date: Sunday, July 26, 2009, 11:08 PM
>
> It is my understanding that we DO believe in equal parenting....when it began
in the MARITAL relationship (or otherwise INTACT).
>
> Don't come talking about that equal parenting bullshit all after the fact
>
> --- On Sat, 7/25/09, Teri Stoddard <teri.sharedparentingworks@...> wrote:
>
> From: Teri Stoddard <teri.sharedparentingworks@...>
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Family Rights 101: Why is there a fathers 
rights mov...
> To: Lbe818@...
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Saturday, July 25, 2009, 8:38 PM
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> As long as people continue to make this a gender war, which keeps people
distracted and confused, the government will go on exploiting everyone's
innocent children.  Just stop.  Put the children, and EVERYONE's right to due
process first.
>
>
> When I first came on this scene several years ago "protective mother" groups
were running rampant over fathers rights activism.  Then the focus became equal
parenting and family rights.  Suddenly they were joined by noncustodial moms
and parents (natural, foster and adopt) who were all dealing with corruption. 
The movement is huge now - and no one cares what's between anyone's legs.
>
>
> They were able to expose the propaganda told by these groups.  The "Breaking
the Silence/Children's Stories" film had to be remade because it was so full of
lies.  They constantly use myths, fake facts and lies that were manufactured by
man-hating feminists, who later admitted publically that they made them up.
>
>
> People who know the truth, like Erin Pizzey, founder of the very first
battered person's shelter, and Karen DeCrow, former President of NOW, they
support equal parenting 100%.  (there are always exceptions for abusive and
uninterested parents)  Pizzey had death threats from feminists after they
hijacked her work and made it all about abused women.  DeCrow sat with John
Murtari of akidsright.org to watch Angelo Lobo's documentary Support? System
Down.
>
>
> I hope at least one person who reads this will put their bitterness aside to
see that we all need to work together to right the wrongs of the government.
>
> teri
> --
> http://sharedparentingworks.org
>
> http://examiner.com/x-6741-SF-Family-Examiner
> http://examiner.com/x-15873-Family-Rights-Examiner
>
>
>
>
> On Sat, Jul 25, 2009 at 1:11 PM,  <Lbe818@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> Oh, sorry, please forgive my misquoting your status.  I went and read
> your bio which shows you a single mother of four and former
> feminist4fathers.  Again, please accept my apologies.  You are not a
> second wife.
>
>
> Find out more about
> Teri:    
>
> Teri
> Stoddard
> Go to Teri's Home Page 
>
>
>
> SF Family
> Examiner
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   My
>   Bio
>
>   Subscribe
>   to Email
>
>   Add Teri to Favorite Examiners
>
> Teri Stoddard (formerly feminist4fathers, now
> known as the Queen of Equality) is a nature loving, 50-something, laid back,
> forward thinking, liberal, anti-feminist egalitarian, San Francisco bay area
> native, single mom of 4 and grandma to two.
>  
> The rest of the social research is,however, painfully accurate. 
> I think that women still don't have equal rights in several venues but most
> apparent in the job market.  If you are truly the Queen of Equality, I'd
> enjoy reading your inkdrops on this social problem. 
>  
>
> In a message dated 7/25/2009 4:00:20 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
> teri.sharedparentingworks@... writes:
> No, I am
>   not a second wife.  I am a reporter who tells the truth.
>
> Family
>   rights violations are not special to females, no matter how hard some people
>   try to convince everyone they are.  People who continue to spread these
>   myths are only hurting themselves.  We need due process for everyone, not
>   just people with vaginas. 
>
> teri
>
>
>   On Sat, Jul 25, 2009 at 12:41 PM, <Lbe818@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>     Teri, you are a second wife, correct.  We have found over the past
>     decade, that second wives take up the political movement of their new
>     husbands with zeal the issue really is about money..  Second wives feel
>     deprived of money and rightfully so when their new husband must pay child
>     support to their former spouses.  Ironically, the second wife is living
>     a similar poverty that the female headed single household or ex wife must
>     try to manage to survive within.
>      
>     Second wives are very good at announcing all the myths spawned by the
>     father's right activists which are mainly political and are self-serving
>     tools to claim themselves victims of society when in fact, it is the
mothers
>     who have less political power, fewer social resources and earn less than
>     their male counterparts for the same job not matter how much more
>     education they have, they are considered the poorest households in the
>     nation because the majority of fathers only pay 50% of the court ordered
>     child support.
>      
>     Here are Myths spawned by Dr. Stephen Baskerville that I have corrected
>     out of an article he wrote.  Personally, I find Dr. Baskerville a very
>     unfactual writer.  His major was political science and I believe he
>     stumps for his political position rather than do the research to really
>     garner the truth.  This about sums up what kind of horrid research the
>     father's right activists use to bend the true picture.  My comments are
>     in bold blue italic and I provide all the true research to counter the
>     baseless claims made in this article.
>      
>
>
>
>
>
>           Baby P and the Child Abuse
>           Industry
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>      
>
>
>
>
>           Written by Stephen Baskerville
>             
>
>
>           The Baby P killing reveals the child
>           abuse industry at its most cynical. The Soviet-style ineptitude
>           revealed daily is the product not of poor training or underfunding
but
>           of the logic inherent in bureaucratic politics.
>           We have long known what causes child
>           abuse and why children like Baby P die. The vast preponderance of
>           child abuse and child deaths occurs in single-parent homes.
>           True, but several variables that a
>           responsible social reporter would correlate to this statement are
not
>           included in Mr. Baskerville’s observations.  In
>           fact, children are subject to more serious abuse and fatality in
>           father only headed homes.  A very important piece of
>           information that shouldn't be absent from such a generalized
>           statement.
>           Who Are the
>           Perpetrators?
>           No matter how the fatal abuse occurs,
>           one fact of great concern is that the perpetrators are, by
definition,
>           individuals responsible for the care and supervision of their
victims.
>           In 2006, one or both parents were responsible for 75.9 percent of
>           child abuse or neglect fatalities. Approximately 15 (14.7) percent
of
>           fatalities were the result of maltreatment by nonparent caretakers,
>           and the remaining percentage (9.5 percent) represents unknown or
>           missing information.
>           There is no single profile of a
>           perpetrator of fatal child abuse, although certain characteristics
>           reappear in many studies. Frequently, the perpetrator is a young
adult
>           in his or her mid-20s, without a high school diploma, living at or
>           below the poverty level, depressed, and who may have difficulty
coping
>           with stressful situations. In many instances, the perpetrator has
>           experienced violence first-hand. Most
>           fatalities from physical abuse are caused by fathers and other
>           male caretakers. Mothers
>           are most often held responsible for deaths resulting from child
>           neglect (U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect,
>           1995).
>           Household
>           composition and the risk of child abuse and neglect
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                       Margo I.
>                       Wilsona1, Martin
>                       Dalya1 and Suzanne J.
>                       Weghorsta2
>
>           Summary
>           The incidence
>           of child abuse and neglect resulting in validated case reports to
the
>           American Humane Association in 1976 was determined in relation to
>           household composition, family income and age of the victim. Abuse
>           and neglect were both maximal in father-only homes and minimal in
>           two-natural-parent homes. Mother-only
>           households exceed those with one natural and one step-parent in
>           neglect incidence, but the reverse is true for abuse incidence.
>           Poverty is more strongly associated with neglect risk than with
abuse
>           risk, and probably cannot account for the high risks of abuse and
>           neglect in father-only and step-parent families. Evidence
>           that the presence of an unrelated adult filling a parental role
>           exacerbates the risk of physical abuse is presented and
>           discussed.
>           Very little abuse takes place in
>           married, twoparent families. â€"
>           London’s Family Education trust is a marriage promotion
>           organization so, I would have to say, their information is quite
>           clearly cut in one direction and does not report the norm here in
the
>           US which shows child abuse to be about even in either intact
families,
>           the highest perpetrators of abuse and fatality are the parents of
the
>           child:
>           In
>           2006, one or both parents were responsible for 75.9 percent of child
>           abuse or neglect fatalities.
>           http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/index.htm
>
>           London’s Family Education Trust long
>           ago demonstrated that children are up to 33 times more likely to
>           suffer serious abuse and 73 times more likely to suffer fatal abuse
in
>           the home of a mother with a live-in boyfriend or stepfather than in
an
>           intact family. â€" More biased and false
>           reporting.  It is almost the same between both
>           father and mother headed households. 
>
>           For
>           FFY 2006, 57.9 percent of the perpetrators were women and 42.1
percent
>           were men.2
>           Figures from the US Justice Department
>           show that single mothers accounted for 55 per cent of child murders.
>           Shorn of politically correct euphemism, what this means is that the
>           principal impediment to child abuse is a father. ‘Fathers have
often
>           played the protector  - role inside families,’
>           writes Adrienne Burgess of Fathers Direct. Completely
>           false!
>           http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/chapter5.htm#character
>
>           Table 4-5
>           Perpetrator Relationships to Child Fatalities, 2006
> Child
>           Maltreatment 2006
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Relationship to
>                 Child
>
>
>                 Child
>                 Fatalities
>
>
>
>                 Number
>
>
>                 Percent
>
>
>                 Mother
>
>
>                 288
>
>
>                 27.4
>
>
>
>
>                 Mother and
>                 Other
>
>
>                 121
>
>
>                 11.5
>
>
>                 Father
>
>
>                 138
>
>
>                 13.1
>
>
>
>
>                 Father and
>                 Other
>
>
>                 16
>
>
>                 1.5
>
>
>                 Mother and
> Father
>
>                 235
>
>
>                 22.4
>
>
>
>
>                 Female Relative
>
>
>
>                 31
>
>
>                 3.0
>
>
>                 Male Relative
>
>
>                 17
>
>                 1.6
>
>
>
>                 Female Foster
>                 Parent (Relative)
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Male Foster Parent
>                 (Relative)
>
>                 0
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>
>                 Female Partner of
>                 Parent
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Male Partner of
>                 Parent
>
>                 30
>
>                 2.9
>
>
>
>                 Female Legal
>                 Guardian
>
>
>                 1
>
>
>                 0.1
>
>
>                 Male Legal Guardian
>
>
>                 0
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>
>                 Foster Parent
>                 (Nonrelative)
>
>
>                 5
>
>
>                 0.5
>
>
>                 Foster Parent
>                 Unknown Relationship
>
>                 4
>
>                 0.4
>
>
>
>                 Staff Group Home
>
>
>
>                 4
>
>
>                 0.4
>
>
>                 Daycare Staff
>
>
>                 32
>
>                 3.0
>
>
>
>                 Other Professional
>
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Friend or Neighbor
>
>
>                 2
>
>                 0..2
>
>
>
>                 More than One
>                 Nonparental Perpetrator
>
>
>                 26
>
>
>                 2.5
>           http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/chapter5.htm#character
>
>           Table 4-5
>           Perpetrator Relationships to Child Fatalities, 2006
> Child
>           Maltreatment 2006
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Relationship to
>                 Child
>
>
>                 Child
>                 Fatalities
>
>
>
>                 Number
>
>
>                 Percent
>
>
>                 Mother
>
>
>                 288
>
>
>                 27.4
>
>
>
>
>                 Mother and
>                 Other
>
>
>                 121
>
>
>                 11.5
>
>
>                 Father
>
>
>                 138
>
>                 13.1
>
>
>
>                 Father and
>                 Other
>
>
>                 16
>
>
>                 1.5
>
>
>                 Mother and
> Father
>
>                 235
>
>
>                 22.4
>
>
>
>
>                 Female Relative
>
>
>
>                 31
>
>
>                 3.0
>
>
>                 Male Relative
>
>
>                 17
>
>                 1.6
>
>
>
>                 Female Foster
>                 Parent (Relative)
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Male Foster Parent
>                 (Relative)
>
>                 0
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>
>                 Female Partner of
>                 Parent
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Male Partner of
>                 Parent
>
>                 30
>
>                 2.9
>
>
>
>                 Female Legal
>                 Guardian
>
>
>                 1
>
>
>                 0.1
>
>
>                 Male Legal Guardian
>
>
>                 0
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>
>                 Foster Parent
>                 (Nonrelative)
>
>
>                 5
>
>
>                 0.5
>
>
>                 Foster Parent
>                 Unknown Relationship
>
>                 4
>
>                 0.4
>
>
>
>                 Staff Group Home
>
>
>
>                 4
>
>
>                 0.4
>
>
>                 Daycare Staff
>
>
>                 32
>
>                 3.0
>
>
>
>                 Other Professional
>
>
>
>                 0
>
>
>                 0.0
>
>
>                 Friend or Neighbor
>
>
>                 2
>
>                 0.2
>
>
>
>                 More than One
>                 Nonparental Perpetrator
>
>
>                 26
>
>
>                 2.5
>
>
>                 Unknown or
>                 Missing
>
>                 100
>
>                 9.5
>
>
>
>                 Total
>
>
>                 1,050
>
>
>                 Blank Cell
>
>
>                 Blank
>                 Cell
>
>                 Blank Cell
>
>                 100.0
>            
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Based on data from 36
>                 States.
>           For
>           FFY 2006, 57.9 percent of the perpetrators were women and 42.1
percent
>           were men.2
>           Table 5-1
>           Age and Sex of Perpetrators, 2006
> Child Maltreatment
>           2006
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 AGE
>
>
>                 MEN
>
>
>                 WOMEN
>
>
>                 TOTAL
>
>
>
>                 Number
>
>
>                 Percent
>
>
>                 Number
>
>
>                 Percent
>
>
>                 Number
>
>
>                 Percent
>
>
>                 <
>                 20
>
>                 22,980
>
>                 6.2
>
>                 20,659
>
>                 4.0
>
>                 43,639
>
>                 4.9
>
>
>
>                 20-29
>
>
>                 107,996
>
>
>                 28.9
>
>
>                 212,419
>
>
>                 41.3
>
>
>                 320,415
>
>
>                 36..1
>
>
>                 30-39
>
>                 135,153
>
>                 36.2
>
>                 188,489
>
>                 36.7
>
>                 323,642
>
>                 36.5
>
>
>
>                 40-49
>
>
>                 79,358
>
>
>                 21.3
>
>
>                 71,643
>
>
>                 13.9
>
>
>                 151,001
>
>
>                 17.0
>
>
>                 >
>                 49
>
>                 27,627
>
>                 7.4
>
>                 20,806
>
>                 4.0
>
>                 48,433
>
>                 5.5
>
>
>
>                 Total
>
>
>                 373,114
>
>
>                 100.0
>
>
>                 514,016
>
>
>                 100.0
>
>
>                 887,130
>
>
>                 100.0
>
>
>                 Weighted
>                 Percent
>
>                 Blank Cell
>
>                 42.1
>
>                 Blank Cell
>
>                 57.9
>
>                 Blank Cell
>
>                 100.0
>            
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Based on data from 50
>                 States.
>                 Men median age = 34
> Women
>                 median age = 31
> Total median age = 32
>
>           For the
>           analyses in this chapter, a perpetrator may be counted multiple
times
>           if he or she has maltreated more than one child
>            
>           An average
>           of 25 children a year are murdered by a parent nationwide.
>            According to the Australian Institute of
>           Criminology,
>           fathers or stepfathers are responsible for 60 per cent of child
>           homicides in families.
>
>
>            
>           Males
>           represent 77% of homicide victims and nearly 90% of
>           offenders. The victimization rates for males were 3 times
>           higher than the rates for females. The offending rates for males
were
>           8 times higher than the rates for females.
>            
>           A parent is
>           the perpetrator in most homicides of children under age 5
>           To view
>           data, click on the chart.
>           [D]
>
>           Note:
>           Parents includes stepparents.
>           Of all children under age 5 murdered
>           from 1976-2005 --
>
>             31% were killed by fathers
>             29%
>             were killed by mothers
>             23%
>             were killed by male acquaintances
>             7% were
>             killed by other relatives
>             3% were
>             killed by strangers
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Of
>                 those children killed by someone other than their parent, 81%
>                 were killed by males.
>
>                 Relationship,
>                 1976-2005
>
>
>                 Gender of
> offender
>
>                 Parent
>
>                 Other
>                 family
>
>                 Friend/
> Acquaintance
>
>                 Stranger
>
>                 Unknown
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>                 Male
>
>                 5,273
>
>
>                 757
>
>                 3,825
>
>
>                  
>
>                 438
>
>                  
>
>                 328
>
>                  
>
>
>                 Female
>
>                 4,947
>
>
>                 416
>
>                 728
>
>
>                  
>
>                 24
>
>                  
>
>                 101
>
>                  
>           Most of the
>           children killed are male and most of the offenders are
> male
>           To view
>           data, click on the chart.
>
>
>            
>            A study in the
>           journal Adolescent and Family Health found that ‘The presence of
the
>           father … placed the child at lesser risk for child sexual
>           abuse.’  Not
>           true!
>           Who are the Perpetrators of
>           Child Sexual Abuse?
>
>           Studies on who
>           commits child sexual abuse vary in their findings, but the most
common
>           finding is that the
>           majority of sexual offenders are family members or are otherwise
known
>           to the child.
>           Sexual abuse by strangers is not nearly as common as sexual abuse
>           by family members. Research further shows that men perpetrate most
>           instances of sexual abuse, but there are cases in which women are
the
>           offenders. Despite a common myth, homosexual men are not
>           more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual men are.
>
>           Child Sexual
>           Abusers
>           Perpetrators of child sexual abuse come
>           from different age groups, genders, races and socio- economic
>           backgrounds. Women sexually abuse children, although not as
frequently
>           as men, and juvenile perpetrators comprise as many as one-third of
the
>           offenders (Finkelhor, 1994). One common denominator is that victims
>           frequently know and trust their abusers.
>           Incest
>           traditionally describes sexual abuse in which the perpetrator and
>           victim are related by blood. However, incest can also refer to cases
>           where the perpetrator and victim are emotionally connected (Crnich &
>           Crnich, 1992). "[I]ntrafamily perpetrators constitute from one-third
>           to one-half of all perpetrators against girls and only about
one-tenth
>           to one-fifth of all perpetrators against boys. There is no question
>           that intrafamily abuse is more likely to go on over a longer period
of
>           time and in some of its forms, particularly parent-child abuse, has
>           been shown to have more serious consequences" (Finkelhor,
>           1994).
>           Yet instead of allowing fathers to
>           protect their children, fathers are forcibly and systematically
>           removed from their homes and children by family courts with the
active
>           support of social work bureaucracies. Ironically, this is often
>           effected using trumped-up charges of child abuse against fathers,
>           though statistically biological fathers are responsible for very
>           little abuse.  
>           Not true!  Almost equally as female
>           parents.
>           For
>           FFY 2006, 57.9 percent of the perpetrators were women and 42.1
percent
>           were men.2
>           Judges claim they remove fathers, even
>           without evidence of abuse, to ‘err on the side of caution’.  
What
>           Judges?  Where’s the reference to show it’s more
>           than his mere biased opinion? 
>
>           In fact they are erring on the side of
>           danger, and it is difficult to believe they do not realize it. Thus
>           the child abuse apparatchiks remove the children’s natural
protector,
>           whereupon the real abusers â€" the single mother and her boyfriends
â€"
>           are free to abuse his children with impunity. Clearly, the
statistics show this to be a false
>           conclusion.  In fact, male bio parents and female
>           bio parents maltreat children at almost the same rate. 
>           And, further, males kill their children at a higher rate
>           according to the same U.S. Justice System Statistics he attempts to
>           erroneously quote in the above!
>           Groups like Fathers4Justice and
>           protesters like Jolly Stanesby are vilified for calling attention to
>           the confiscation and abuse of their children, when they are merely
>           responding as any parent can be expected to do when someone
interferes
>           with his child.  He
>           should at least be honest.  Groups like this are
>           responding to the fact that the mother generally gets custodial
parent
>           status and fathers have to pay child support and if they don’t,
>           face stiff laws.  These laws didn’t reach this level
>           by sheer capriciousness; it was based on years of fathers who
>           abandoned their families financially.
>           The sanctimonious hand-wringing now on
>           display in Britain is endemic throughout the industrialized world.
‘We
>           cannot tolerate the abuse of even one child,’ says the US
Department
>           of Health and Human Services. But HHS funds an army of officials and
>           programmes that remove children from their fathers’ care and then
>           claim to protect them from subsequent abuse. The logic is
marvellously
>           self-justifying and self-perpetuating, since by eliminating the
>           father, officials can then present themselves as the solution to the
>           problem they themselves create. Fathers have perpetuated this police
>           state with their inability to financially support their children
after
>           the breakdown of their relationship with the children’s
>           mothers.  So, in
>           essence we have fathers to blame for not fulfilling that
>           responsibility and forcing mothers to go to state intervention to
>           survive their poverty after the dissolution of their
>           relationships.  The more child
>           abuse, the more the proffered solution is to further expand the
cadres
>           of what amount to plainclothes police. Clichés about social workers
>           being ‘overworked and underfunded’ and in need of more
‘resources’
>           provide a fairly clear indication of a thriving bureaucratic
>           enterprise expanding its turf.
>           Refusing to face these truths also
>           means an increasingly repressive state machinery and authoritarian
>           habits of mind that are unhealthy in a free society. I agree,
refusing to face the truth, Mr.
>           Baskerville, about how irresponsible fatherhood has led to this
>           oppressive system is what is at the root of this
>           problem. 
>           Urging citizens to watch and report on their
>           neighbours should they detect ‘signs’ of abuse, and requiring
>           professionals to do so, can only foster a society of busybodies and
>           snoops and will certainly mean more harassment of innocent parents
and
>           removal of their children, as is already happening.
>           Child abuse is entirely preventable.
>           The current epidemic grew up with the welfare state and the divorce
>           revolution, with the resulting proliferation of fatherless homes.
>           Yes, fathers were pushed out of the
>           marital or co-habitation homes where they have left offspring and
then
>           they contributed or created the welfare of the family by refusing to
>           responsibly pay their child support. 
>
>           Divided Families
>           Fathers and their
>           Families:
>           “The question still remains as to
>           whether absent fathers can be helped to play a larger role in their
>           children’s lives.  The efforts so far to encourage
>           them to do so appear to be unsuccessful.  To be
>           sure, a small but growing number of well-educated, relatively
affluent
>           fathers are deeply involved in sharing physical custody of their
>           children.  But far more fathers still fade out of
>           their children’s lives. 
>           HALF DONâ€T PAY THE FULL AMOUNT OF CHILD SUPPORT THEY
>           OWE. 
>           Even awards of joint legal custody seem to change their
>           behavior little.  Why is it so difficult to change
>           the behavior of absent fathers?
>           We think it is difficult because most
>           fathers, whether absent or present, relate to their children
primarily
>           through their wives.  For many men, in other words,
>           marriage and parenthood are a package deal.  Their
>           ties to their children, and their feelings of responsibility for
their
>           children, depend on their ties to their wives.  It
>           is as though fathers only know how to be fathers indirectly, through
>           the actions of their wives, who do most of the work of
>           childrearing.  If the marriage breaks up, the
>           indirect ties between fathers and children are also broken.â€
http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/childsupport/chldsu05.pdf
>
>           It continues because of entrenched
>           interests employed pretending to combat it. Here I agree, fathers
like Mr. Baskerville, whose
>           main objective is to protect fathers and portray only their
>           victim-hood while never showing how they are the primary factor of
>           deciding whether their children will be raised in poverty. 
>           Poverty is the major source of neglect in 
>           children and therefore, it is fathers who are pushing their
>           families down the path to an economic downward
>           spiral.
>           The
>           correlation of child neglect with poverty is a strong one. "The
>           poorest of the poor" have the greatest numbers of neglected children
>           due to a lack of health care, adequate housing and child
>           care.7 Unemployment and its
>           concomitant psychological and economic stresses is a frequent state
>           within a neglectful family. Furthermore, a neglectful family rarely
>           accesses support systems, be it neighbors or psychological and
social
>           services.7 In addition,
>           neglectful families typically have only one parent, generally a
>           mother. This
>           lack of a father and his income translates into fewer resources for
>           the family.7 These few available resources are
>           stretched even further because most neglectful families have more
than
>           four children.7 Frequently,
>           alcohol and drug abuse is a factor in child abuse; furthermore,
>           reports from CPS agencies note that it is an increasingly present
>           factor in neglect cases. It is notable that the urban, inner-city
>           cocaine addiction epidemic has paralleled the increase of neglect
>           reports.7
>            
>           U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,
>           Admin. for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth
>           and Families, National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect. Child
>           Neglect: A Guide for Intervention. Washington D.C.: Westover
>           Consulting, Inc., 1993, p.1-50.
>            
>           Risk
>           factors for physical abuse fall under the umbrella of "family
stress."
>           Domestic violence, poverty, unemployment and social isolation
>           contribute to the likelihood of physical abuse. While the
perpetrators
>           are usually the mothers, male caretakers--fathers or mothers'
>           boyfriends--are generally the cause of a child fatality.11 Male
children are at higher risk
>           for physical abuse than are female children.. Children with
>           disabilities, premature children and children with low birthweights
>           also have an increased risk. Problems in early bonding and a lack of
>           the paternal/child attachment may also cause this increase.11
>            
>           ·  U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,
>           Public Health Service. National Health Service Corps Educational
>           Program for Clinical and Community Issues in Primary Care. Reston,
VA:
>           American Medical Student Association/Foundation, 1994, p.
>           5-31.
>            
>           Coupled with the devastating problem
>           of family poverty is its association with child maltreatment.
Poverty
>           has long been recognized as a core condition in child maltreatment
>           (Garbarino, 1976; Pelton, 1978; Torczyner & Pare,
>           1979)
>            
>           Child
>           neglect is the most common form of maltreatment of children in the
>           United States. Approximately 65% of maltreatment reports are for
>           neglect (American Humane Association, 1985), and more children die
>           from neglect than from abuse
>           (Brown,
>           1987).
>           Despite these
>           findings, most poor parents do not abuse or neglect their children.
It
>           is important to examine beyond the condition of family poverty to
>           discover factors that result in maltreatment. Studies
>           have linked a high percentage of single parents, mostly single
mothers
>           as perpetrators of child abuse and neglect (Sack, Mason, &
>           Higgins, 1985; Wilson, Daily, & Weghorst, 1980). Polansky, Gaudin,
>           and Kilpatrick (1992) focused their research on child neglect and
>           found that neglect occurred disproportionately in poor female-headed
>           households.
>            â€" That’s
>           correct because poor families have a poorer chance to succeed so a
>           father’s full amount of support is sorely needed to keep the
family
>           surviving. But the trend of this group of fathers like Mr.
Baskerville
>           is how to lower or get out of paying their child support using many
>           different plans including quitting well-paying jobs to take lesser
>           paying jobs. 
>
>           http://www.vincenter.org/97/drucker.html
>
>           It is a textbook example of
>           bureaucratic government creating a problem for itself to solve. As
>           Dickens observed ‘the one great principle of the English law is to
>           make business for itself’. Appalling as it sounds, the conclusion
>           seems inescapable that we have created a massive governmental
machine
>           staffed by officials with a vested professional interest in abused
>           children.
>           Britain deserves credit for the huge
>           public discussion prompted by this case â€" a discussion that has
not
>           been held in the United States or elsewhere. But until we have the
>           courage to tell the truth about who is abusing children and the
>           state’s role in permitting and even encouraging them to do it,
then
>           all our professed concern for children is mere posturing.
>           Stephen Baskerville is associate
>           professor of government at Patrick Henry College in Virginia, USA,
and
>           author of Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage
>           and the Family (Cumberland House,
>    
2007)http://www.salisburyreview.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&\
id=768:baby-p-and-the-child-abuse-industry&catid=49:spring-2009&Itemid=28
>
>      
>
>     In a message dated 7/25/2009 1:48:51 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
teri.sharedparentingworks@... writes:
>
>
>
>
>
>       Fathers around the world are uniting for their human and civil right to
>       parent their children, in what is sometimes called the fathers rights
>       movement.
>
> Equal parenting advocates like Bev Morris, founder of the
>       National Association of Noncustodial Moms (nancm.com) are quick to point
>       out that mothers are also victim to bad government policy, just in
smaller
>       numbers.
>
> more...
http://www.examiner.com/x-15873-Family-Rights-Examiner~y2009m7d25-Family-Rights-\
101-Why-is-there-a-fathers-rights-movement
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> http://sharedparentingworks.org
> http://examiner.com/x-6741-SF-Family-Examiner
>
> http://examiner.com/x-15873-Family-Rights-Examiner
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> http://sharedparentingworks.org
> http://examiner.com/x-6741-SF-Family-Examiner
>
> http://examiner.com/x-15873-Family-Rights-Examiner
>

#21905 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:46 am
Subject: Re: Ex-Marin court official pleads guilty (Gets offf easy!)
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, MochaDiva36@... wrote:
>
> _Click here: Marin  Independent Journal - Ex-Marin court official pleads
> guilty in conflict of  interest case_
(http://www.marinij.com/marin/ci_4981933)
>
> Former Marin Superior Court administrator John Montgomery pleaded guilty
> Tuesday to nine misdemeanor conflict-of-interest counts stemming from a
romantic
> and business relationship with a contract employee.
> The court's former top official was sentenced to 200 hours of community
> service in Marin, one year of probation and $1,000 restitution.
> Montgomery, 57, was charged in April with 10 felony counts related to
> contracts that he had authorized for a $100-an-hour software consultant - his
> girlfriend with whom he shared real estate interests.
> Montgomery also was believed to have billed personal travel to the county,
> but no charges were filed on those accusations, according to court records.
> Looking relaxed as he sat before visiting Judge Terrance Duncan of Monterey,
> Montgomery pleaded "no contest" to the charges. Duncan noted that "no
> contest"  is the same as admitting guilt, and Montgomery agreed.
> The plea deal for the former top official, which had been negotiated with the
>  judge and the district attorney's office, ended a scandal that triggered a
> seven-month investigation by the state's Administrative Office of the Courts.
> Court employees said they were told to remain mum about the case.
> Tuesday, there were just two observers in the gallery during the hearing. It
> was a stark contrast to the crowd that gathered to watch as he was arraigned
> in  April, after his arrest in Virginia.
> The state inquiry was conducted at the request of Judge Terrence Boren, then
> the presiding judge of the Marin Superior Court who discovered that
> Montgomery  purchased two houses with his county contract employee, Linda Lau.
> In September, after San Francisco-based defense attorneys Douglas Horngrad
> and Stephen Shaiken argued that Montgomery had no prior legal record and had
> delegated the signing of the contracts to an assistant, Judge Duncan reduced
> the  charges to misdemeanors despite opposition from the district attorney's
> office.
> This saved Montgomery from running the risk of becoming a convicted felon if
> his case went to trial.
> Horngrad said after the hearing that Duncan agreed with arguments presented
> in favor of his client.
> "There was an argument that there were hyper-technical violations, and I
> believe the court recognized that by offering a settlement of community
> service," Horngrad said. "This means we avoided a trial and made it more 
comfortable
> for everyone."
> Long-time court observer Martin Silverman was happy with the outcome of the
> case.
> "It's a miscarriage of justice in the extreme," Silverman said. "He
> benefitted from his paramour's gain, which he orchestrated."
> Silverman, who was vice chairman of the county civil grand jury in 1997, said
>  Montgomery's conduct reflects badly on the court's sitting judges.
> "It's an affront to the citizens of Marin County," Silverman said.
> Both Presiding Judge Lynn Duryee and Kim Turner, Montgomery's replacement as
> court executive officer, said measures have been put in place to prevent
> future  abuse of the office.
> The investigation began after Turner, one of Montgomery's assistants,
> reported what she believed were irregularities to Boren, the presiding judge.
> "I'm grateful the parties were able to reach a resolution today -  this has
> been a painful episode for the court," Duryee said. "We are  indebted to our
> new CEO, Kim Turner, for having the courage to step forward and  report her
> boss's misconduct to the judges - we have learned from our mistake  and have
put
> safeguards in place to ensure that this will never happen again."
> Court observer Sanford Gossman said he was disappointed because the sentence
> does not provide a deterrent to others.
> He said Montgomery will continue to victimize Marin taxpayers as he collects
> his county pension.
> "Again, another example that white-collar crime does pay," Gossman said. "It
> all sickens me."
> District Attorney Ed Berberian said his office did not go easy on Montgomery.
>
> "We opposed the reduction of the case from a felony to a misdemeanor,"
> Berberian said.
> Berberian said he believes Montgomery deliberately misused public resources.
>

#21906 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:48 am
Subject: Re: Alana Kraus
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, MichellesLaw@... wrote:
>
> Does anyone know how the Alana Kraus trial in a San Francisco, Federal Court
> last turned out?  The issue before the Federal Appellate court was if Minor's
> Counsel got judicial immunity or not.
>
> Michelle
>

#21907 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:57 am
Subject: Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, JUSTICEforADJANI@... wrote:
>
> Dear Advocate groups,
> My post are being "bounced back to me" I hope you get this, long but  VIP
> Plea of help from
> another grieving Parent "not from FL but also, caught up  in FL abusive
> process and FL lies.
> I appreciate any help or support you can give, this mother. Denied  visits,
> monitored calls, Threatened, You might as well get use to  this,because is not
> about to change. Same threat
> as me, my introduction, to brutal FL system.  Thank  you!  Sila,
> JUSTICEforADJANI
>
> Dear Elizabeth,
> Thank you for contacting me. I relate well to your pain. I'm  very sorry you
> had to go thru the
> E-N-D-L-E-S-S "fl" Abusive process injustice. Our cases mirrors  the violence
> and tragedy. I am Fwd your story to Advocate  for support; given my humble
> means. I'd refer you to groups
> in your area but, I question their effectiveness due to silence. Feel  free
> to write any time,
> you do not walk alone!  STRENGTH COMES IN UNION...blessings,  "Sila"
> _http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html_
> (http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html)
>
> Forwarded Message:
> Subj: Fw: please help   Date: 10/27/2005 9:35:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
> From: _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...)   To:
> _ibuy.1@..._ (mailto:ibuy.1@...) , _cj7scrambler@..._
> (mailto:cj7scrambler@...) , _nativeamerican252003@..._
> (mailto:nativeamerican252003@...) ,  _jacqueline614@..._
(mailto:jacqueline614@...) ,
> _adjanisila@..._ (mailto:adjanisila@...) , _ONEDAV1FL@..._
> (mailto:ONEDAV1FL@...)   Sent from the Internet _(Details)_
> (aolmsg://01975be0/inethdr/2)
>
>
> Is there a way you can help me with what is going on in  my life .I seem to
> have no rights. please read the letter below and see if you  can help I have
> tried everything including writing to the white house with no  luck. tell me
> because he has money and I don't this is fair. Is there anybody  out there
that
> can help me. Any advise or agency recommendation would be  appreciated
>
>
>
> Elizabeth  Dobson
>
>  1250 Woodcrest Drive
>               Daytona Beach,Fl 32114
>               _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...)
>               386-569-9394
>
>
>
>
> I am enclosing some  details of what I am going through. I can find no help
> with Lawyers or anywhere  I turn I have even wrote to the white house.
> Presently I am one step away from  losing anything I might have. I seem to
have no
> rights what so ever and the  court is listening to someone who has abused me,
> drugs and kept me away from  having any bond with my children.you are my last
> hope.
>
>
> Elizabeth  Dobson
>
> P.S. I Have tried  everything
>
>
>
>
> I am not sure what to write here but I can  only give you the truth.
>
> I left pennsylvania in feb 2001 to visit my  daughter in Va to get away from
> a terrible situtation at home where my ex was  harassing me and threatening to
> kill me because I found his drugs and took  pictures of it and showed his
> family. this started in august because I found out  about his affair with the
> women he is with now.
>
> my youngest daughter had described a pill  box that he had some white powder
> in and a straw.she also described small  white pills. his family didn't
> beleive me  but went right to him he came  home from work and was over me by
the
> sink he had the look of a crazed person in  his eyes. he told me he was going
to
> kill me for what I had done.he went to hit  me and I pushed and slapped him.
> he called the police and said he was abused by  me. when they got there they
> had me in the living room with my children while he  was in the kitchen with
> the other officer which he had known.I told the officer  what had happened and
> he could arrest me if he wanted to but I was defending  myself. I told him how
> my daughter had seen the drugs and he looked me right in  the eye and said"
> maam we are not here for that" they never asked him to empty  his pockets or
to
> even leave. they told me I should take the children and leave  the premises.I
> told the officer "no this is my home and I have no where to take  the children
> " he told me he could not make him leave the home. when they left I  put the
> kids to bed and stayed away from him . he threatened me again and I  locked
> myself in the bedroom and called domestic violence hotline where I was on  the
> phone with them half the night.I did not sleep that night in fear he would
> break the door down and kill me. there was violence in the past and I knew he
> had guns in the basement.
>
> the next morning I told him he had to leave  I could not live like this . he
> packed and left.I didn't know he had called the  ultilities and was having
> them shut off the end of the month.I found out when  the electric company had
> called the house and asked if I wanted the electric to  continue in my
name.they
> had explained that he called them to terminate service  so I called all the
> other ultilities and found out he  had done the same.I  had copied the books
in
> the store showing all his income and had them hidden  between the mattresses
> of my bed along with the pictures. he got into the house  while I was at the
> store and took them.he told me he would use the pictures  against me now.he
> would have everything and I would be homeless he wanted the  house sold and me
out
> of it and that he would have the children and I am going  to wind up with
> nothing.he then took the checkbook for the business and had it  at his mothers
> house it was at this point I no longer went into the store. he  came over to
the
> house yelling that I had to run the store and I told him I  didn't .I was not
> going to sit there and not be able to have any money to live I  had to go get
> a job. I went and applied in over 30 places with no answer until I  had a
> friend call the store and say I was applying for a job and they wanted a
> reference for me. he had his mother sitting in there selling carpet and she
told
> them I was a totally untrustworthy that I had stole money from the business
and
> I should not be hired.
>
> I told him I wanted child and spousal support he said he wanted it legal and
> I  better do it quick so I went to the courthouse and filled out the papers.
> the  hearing was in jan of 2001. he was served with the papers and came to the
> house in a rage . I told him I did what you asked me to do. he reversed
> everything and said he never told me to do this.he said I will never get
spousal
> support and I will never be able to fight him with no money.I told him the
> only  one he is hurting is the children. he told me he will have the children
and
> she  will be there mother.I asked him to leave he again threatened to harm me
> and I  told him I would call the police. he told to go ahead they think your
> crazy  anyway remember I grew up in this town and I can do what I want to you
> and you  have no one to turn to.he started breaking into the house when I
> wasn't there  and the police said because his name is on the deed there is
nothing
> I can do he  has every right to enter the home even though he doesn't live
> there.
>
> I went to several lawyers and they told me that this was an involved case and
> a  few turned it down because they didn't have the time to give it.I found
> one that  took it and wanted 800.00 up front I gave it to him and he did
nothing
> .when it  came time for the hearing he told me I didn't need him there it was
> just support  and I will get what I was asking for which I didn't.when my
> husband filed for  divorce Ihad told my lawyer I to sue on grounds of adultry
he
> told me not to do  that to let him pay for the divorce because I wouldn't have
> the money to pay for  it myself I looked at this lawyer and asked what I had
> paid for which he told me  the his time. meanwhile my husband refused to pay
> any of the bills which  amounted to 2,000 a month.he said I would have to find
> a way they are all in my  name and he don't have to pay for a thing anymore.my
> children told me to use  there savings accounts because they hasd seen me
> crying and talking to my older  daughter about not knowing what Iw as gonna do
> and christmas was here and I had  nothing for the kids.I did the best I could
at
> that  point.
>
> in jan my  son in law came to send a few days with me and he had seen what he
> was doing. he  had broken in again and took most of the things in the
> basement and the lawn  mower and some rugs that where stored in there.I called
the
> police and they  still wouldn't do anything ebven though he has been out of
the
> house since  august they refuseed to do anything.all I could do at this time
> was cry.I  finally had to use the childrens savings to pay what I could of the
> bills and  the car so it wouldn't get taken for not paying it off. I had come
> to  the end of my rope. I had told my son in law if things go bad with the
> hearing I would have no choice but to let him have the kids so they have a
roof
> over there head.I wa told to write a statement that it would be temporary
> until  I found a place to live. I wrote it up and gave it to my daughter to
bring
> to  the lawyer because everything went wrong at the hearing. first he claimed
> all he  made was 12,000 for the year.I tried to tell them it was a lie but
> the hearings  officer didn't want to hear it.I had asked for spousal support
and
> his lawyer  said that I may be a bigamist and I couldn't beleive it.the
> hearing officer just  threw it aside.he determined that I was to get 34.00 a
week
> per child I told him  that was crazy and that I would let my children live
with
> my ex until I got on  my feet. again I was told to write it out and send it
> to my lawyer to have a  copy sent to my ex. which the lawyer received that
> afternoon.which they claim  they never got.
>
> He took the children (which I thought maybe he would see what he was doing
> and  stop but he didn't) I had my older daughter there because I couldn't be
> there  when he took them I would have probably been put in jail so I made sure
I
> was  not there .after they were gone I came home I felt like my heart was
> ripped  out.the next day I left and went to Virginia.I told my older daughter
to
> take  my  furniture and  things bring them to her house and store them in  her
> basement and attic until I find a place to live.I figured I had better get
> out of the house because I felt Iw as in real danger now without the children
> there with me.
>
> I  arrived at my daughters in virginia late that evening, spent some time
> with my  grandchildren the next day and was feeling a little better.the
following
> day my  daughter back in pa called and said that he broke the door in on the
> house and  changed all the locks.so now I was really homeless.I left my
> daughters the next  day and didn't know where I was gonna go but couldn't stay
with
> her becaause Iw  as not got be a burden on my child like that.so I came to
> florida to spend some  time with friends that use to live near us in pa.
>
>
>
>
> When I Came to Florida i stayed with  friends from back home that had moved
> down here. they found me a room to rent  for 35.00 aweek and I found a job
> waitressing. I  I was or thought I was  talking with my children with e mail
but
> it just didn't seem like the way they  would answer They thought I was in
texas
> and it had to be that way so he  wouldn't find me.they where always asking
> where I was and that I was taking  there father to court.I didn't know what
they
> meant until I recieved papers in  the last week of april of 2001 saying he
> wanted to sell the house and get  custody of the children.the hearing was on
the
> 14th of may there was no way I  could do anything in such little time.I wrote
> the court telling them I  objected to the selling of the house by the realtor
> he was choosing because  she was a close family friend and would not be
> honest about the sale it went  though anyway I also protested the custody but
got
> nowhere with that either he  wa allowed to sell the house without me and the
> court gave him full custody of  the children and Iw as to recieve supervised
> visitation but a person of his  choice.. This was crazy I did nothing wrong
but
> yet evrything was being taken  away.
>
> he harassed mty daughter  until she gave him my furniture and I recieved a
> envelope with  pictures of our wedding and some old pictures from an album my
> daughter was  keeping for me. I guess this was to let me know he had my
> stuff.what she had  told me was he wouldn't leave her alone and had the cops
at her
> door and  showed receipts for the items that I hold the bills for now. I had
> wrote  his lawyer and told him I wanted fifty percent of everything in the
> marriage  including the business. I had also wanted it stated that I could
resume
> the  use of my maiden name.I made a list of the things he had taken from my
> Daughter and my personal belongings that he had taken I also told the lawyer
> that mr.Dobson knew exactly where I was and lied about not knowing my where
> abouts because I know these friends I stayed with called him and he had sent 
me
> that envelope with his return address on it..I never heard from his  attorney
> again. I wrote him again and wanted to know what was going on with  the
divorce
> and again stating what I wanted from the divorce settlement and  that I
> wanted alimony. I still got no response he had also had my daughter  brandy
call
> collect which I couldn't accept because this was not my phone or  home.he also
> gave someone the number because I got a call threatening me about  the bills
> that where owed and how I was going to jail for them.there were two  men on
the
> phone and they told me the police were on the way and I would be  arrested.the
> people I wa staying with were not happy that he was doing this  with there
> number and had to have it changed and unpublished so it would  stop.I didn't
> call there because I felt it would only cause trouble for the  children.I
tried
> on christmas but he would not let me speak to them.then in I  believe it was
> july of 2003. the sheriff was at the home trying to serve me  with papers. I
> called the sheriff to pick up the papers and it was for support  of the
> children.to be held in flagler county court. I moved in with a  girlfriend
because I
> felt I was causing these people trouble.I went and got an  attorney to
represent
> me and they awarded him no support. My daughter Brandy  was writing me and
> telling me she missed and loved me. I was afraid to answer  her letters
because
> nothing I sent was getting to them I was writing and  sending them to my older
> Daughters home until he found out and whatever he  said to her.she would not
> accept the letters anymore and I haven't heard from  here since.I had sent
> these girls cards for christmas and there birthdays and  they never recived
them
> and he claims I never sent them so I stopped sending  them.
>
> Feeling like a drifter and  nowhere to go I rented a trailer in bunnell
> where I lived by  myself. I never changed my post office box so I could get
the
> letters from my  Daughter.in one letter she had said they where in  florida on
> vacation .they knew where bunnell was but not where I  lived. I thought he
> could have wrote and told me he would be here and where I  could meet to see
the
> children but I was told after the fact of them being  here. I wrote the lawyer
> again asking again about the divorce and the  settlement but he never answered
> again. I moved to Daytona in june of 2004. I  gave the children my address
> and hoped for the best within a few months the  sheriff was at my door again
> serving me with papers for support. this time I  called and tried to talk to
him
> and explained I have no money and its more  important for the children to have
> a relationship with me. I am there mother  and want to be a part of there
> life .he told me I have no right to my children  that the court took my rights
> away.that lori is there mother and she will make  all the decisions concerning
> my children.I told him I am there mother and he  has kept me away too long.he
> told me that I owed him for tools that where in  the basement I told him he
> broke into the home two days after I left and I had  no idea what happen to
his
> tools they where in the basement.he wasn't  concerned about talking about the
> children just his things and I told him  after about thirty minutes of his
none
> stop ranting that I called to talk to  him about the girls not his
> belongings.I was told he will keep me away from  them and I will never saee
them again
> they hate me and he has told them how  crazy I am and how I don't want
anything
> to do with them.I asked him how he  can hurt these children like this .his
> response was he nots hurting them he's  in charge and it will be his way and
> there is no talking I have no legal right  to the children. I told him I
didn't
> want to fight with him I just want a  relationship with my children. that we
> don't have to be enemies for I did  nothing wrong and he must stop this for
the
> sake of the children. he finally  said he didn't care if I gave him twenty
> dollars a week.I told him I wanted to  talk to the girls on the phone.he told
me
> to call on saturday.
>
> PHONE CALLS TO GIRLS
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sept 17 2004 -
> Spoke with Albert regarding support Hearing He told me that he did not  care
> if it was 20 dollars a week as long as I paid something. I explained my
> financial hardships and his unwillingness to work with me with the girls. I 
told
> him I wanted to speak with my children, that I would call Saturday  morning.
He
> told me they are not available.
> Sept 20 2004 -
> Spoke with Albert again to confirm agreement for 20 wkly. He told me he was
> waiting to hear from his caseworker about this. I tried to explain to him how
> its not healthy for the children not to have a relationship with me and how
> this was only suppose to be a temporary arrangement and I will be apart of
> their lives. He told me I could speak with them on sat 9/25/2005, that I 
should
> call the store. Told him I will call at 10:00 am.
> Sept 25 2004 -
> I called the store at 10:00 am. He then proceeded to tell me about things  he
> was missing. I explained to him that I had no idea where his stuff was
> because Mary was taking care of storing my belongings and was told to leave 
his
> tools alone. If he was missing anything, he should speak with her. He also 
made
> me aware that he got most of the stuff from Mary. I also told him that he
> broke the door in on Feb 3rd and changed all the locks so I could  not re
enter
> and took the cable box and anything else that was still in the  home. I also
> told him that he must return the box to the cable company. He  said I would
> have to prove that he has it He also told me “I told you that you  would be
> homeless and penniless as you can see I meant itâ€. He went on for  approx 30
> minutes about how he will not pay any bills because they are in my  name and
he owes
> me nothing. He also told me that he would take what he can  from me and I
> cannot stop him, because I cannot afford to stop it and as long  as he keeps
me
> in this position, he wins. I told him that once he gets over  his guilt of
> adultery maybe then he would stop projecting his anger at me. He  went on and
on
> about how everything is his and I am not getting anything from  him. I told
him
> I did not call to talk about his issues but to speak with my  children. We
> can be friends for the sake of the girls. I do not want to argue.  Then he
> finally told me the girls where not there but at home and I should  call
there. I
> said I hope we can be friends because I do not want to call and  argue just
> speak with my girls.
> Sept 25 2004 -
> I called the girls at his girlfriend’s home. She answered and put me on
> speakerphone before putting the girls on. I spoke with both of them. I told 
them
> I loved them and missed them. They told me the same. I promised the both  of
> them I would call every Saturday morning at 10:00 am. The girls said yes  they
> would like that and they would be there for my call.
> Oct 2 2004-
> I called Ardella and Brandy at 10:00 am at the girlfriend’s house. I got 
the
> answering machine so I left a message telling the girls I called as I
> promised and would call next week at the same time.
> Oct 2 2004-
> I called the store Albert answered and I asked why the girls where not  there
> for my call, I had told them I would be calling today. He told me  Ardella
> was in New York and Lori (his girlfriend) took Brandy to her sister’s 
house. I
> informed him that the girls want to speak with me. He told me I have  no legal
> right to the children. I told him I would call back next week.
> Oct 9 2004 -
> I called at 10:00 am to speak with the girls .I got answering machine again
> so I left a message addressed to the girls telling them I called and will call
>  next week at the same time.
> Oct 9 2004-
> I called the store to find out where the girls were. I got answering  machine
> there also, so I left a message “I said I will be calling the girls  again
> next week at 10:00 am like agreed with childrenâ€.
> Oct 16 2004 -
> I called at 10:00 am. Lori (his girlfriend) answered. I finally spoke with
> Brandy. I wished her a happy birthday and told her I love and miss her. I
> asked where she was the last two weeks. She told me that on 10/2 she had to go
> with Lori and missed talking with me. On 10/9 her father took her them 
camping.
> We talked for a while she told me she wishes I was there with her.  She said
> this very low because she is on the speakerphone. Brandy also spoke  about her
> friends and school. I asked to speak with Ardella but Brandy said  she was
> not there. I told Brandy that I loved her and to tell Ardella I love  her and
> miss them both and I will call next week.
> Oct 23 2004-
> I called at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there. I spoke with
> Ardella . She spoke about school and being in the band. She told me Brandy was
over
> a girlfriend’s house and she was going to dad’s store. I told her I love
> her and to tell Brandy I called and tell her I love them and miss them both
> very much. Told Ardella I will call next week.
> Oct 30 2004-
> I called Ardella and Brandy At 10:00 am .I was put on speakerphone  by Lori.
> I spoke with Brandy. She told me how her costume for Halloween was a
> hillbilly and that she would be going trick or treating. She told me she did 
not want
> to go to school there next year because she will be going to a new  school
> (annex I assumed). I told her she has nothing to worry about all her  old
> friends will be there with her. Brandy told me she wants to see me. I told 
her I
> want to see her and maybe soon we can see each other. Ardella was not  there
so
> I told Brandy I loved them both and to tell ardella I called. Brandy  told me
> she loved and missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. I told  her I
> would talk to her next week.
> Nov 6 2004 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she told me  that she is
> sick. We talked about school for a little bit. I told her I love  and miss
> her. I spoke with Ardella she told me about school and playing her  instrument
> in the band at school. I told her I love her and miss her and will  talk with
> them again next week.
> Nov 13 2004-
> I called the girls at 10:00 am I was told by Lori that the girls  were
> unavailable.
> Nov 20 2004-
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke  about school
> and things she was doing. She told me about her trip to Maryland.  She seemed
> very quiet and careful about what she was saying. I asked for  Ardella but
> Brandy said she was sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love her  and miss
her.
> I asked Brandy to send pictures. She said she would. I told her  I loved her
> and missed her and I will talk to her next week.
> Nov 27 2004 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori answered and told me they were  not
> there. Asked where they were but got no response.
> Dec 3 2004 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy, she told me it  was cold
> there and we talked about a little general stuff. She told me she  loved and
> missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. She told me her  father said
> she could take piano lessons after the New Year. I told her that  was good and
I
> hope she will enjoy that. She sounded happy about it. I asked  for Ardella
> but she would not come to the phone said she was tired and laying  down. I
told
> Brandy to tell her I love her and miss them both and I will talk  to them next
> week.
> Dec 11 2004 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that they were not  there.
> Dec 11 2004 -
> I called the store. Albert answered; I asked if the girls were  there. He
> told me no. I asked where they were. His answer was; it is none of  my
business.
> I told him they are my children and I promised them I would call  every week.
> He told me I have no legal right to the children and I will never  get them
> back. I did not see where this call was doing any good so I asked him  to come
> to an agreement on the support. He told me I have a legal  responsibility to
> support them. I told him I have a legal responsibility to be  there mother. He
> told me there mother is with them and I will never get them  back. I hung up.
> Dec 18 2004 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She talked about  school,
> her grades, and that she was doing really well. She went on to tell me  that
> where she is living none of her friends are not around and she does not  like
the
> weekends because she has nothing to do there. She did not sound happy  at
> all. Ardella was sleeping again so I told her to tell her I love her and  miss
> her. Told brandy I love and miss her and will talk with her next  week.
> Dec 25 2004 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I wished them both a very merry  Christmas
> and told them I will call again next week.
> Jan 1 2005 -
> I called at 10:00 am. Albert answered and said they were both in  bed
> sleeping. I told him to tell them I called and will call next  week.
> Jan 8 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy. She told me  about her
> Christmas vacation and Ardella’s birthday party and New Years Eve  party
they
> had at the house. We talked about school and her grades. I told her  as long
> as she does her best no one could ask for more. She told me that on  Saturdays
> she cleans her room. I asked for Ardella but she said she was  upstairs
> sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love and miss her and† hopefully
“next week
> she will be up so I can talk with her. I told Brandy that  I love and miss her
> and will talk to her next week.
> Jan 15 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. We talked about  when she
> was younger and her about memories of things we did together then.  She was
> happy talking about these things. She told me she was going to the  youth
group at
> the church we use to go to together but they not taken there  any longer on
> Sundays. She told me she would be getting her report card on the  31st. I told
> her that she probably did great. I asked her about her  friends and she told
> me she has not been able to be with them for a while she  also said there is
> nothing to do there. I asked for Ardella but she said she  was sleeping. I
told
> her I love her and we started playing “I love you more† and she laughed.
I
> told her that even though I am not there nothing has  changed and I still love
> her with all my heart. She told me she still loved me  with all her heart too.
> She told me about her scrapbook where she looks at the  pictures she has of
> all of us. I told her that was good and they are good  memories to have. I
told
> her to tell Ardella I love and miss her and will call  again next week.
> Jan 22 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy about school.  She told
> me it was snowing and that they could get about a foot before it  stops. She
> talked about her best friend Kendra that she has known since she  was 4 yrs
> old. I told her I was very glad she still has Kendra as her best  friend. She
> talked about things the two of them did together when they were  younger. I
asked
> for Ardella but she was in bed sleeping. I told her to tell  Ardella I love
> and miss her. I told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk  to her next
> week.
> Jan 29 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were not  there.
> Feb 5 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori said they were not available  to take
> calls.
> Feb 12 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She was not  talkative
> like usual. It was very brief she said there was nothing new. She  seemed very
> uneasy and cautious. I spoke with Ardella and the same very quiet  and
> non-talkative. I told them I loved them and will call next week.
> Feb 19 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were  unavailable.
> Feb 26 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me they were not  available.
> March 5 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy she was upset  and Lori
> was yelling in the background “ask her why she Leftâ€. Brandy then  asked
(I
> could tell she was crying) why did you leave. I told her when she is  ready
she
> can come here sit down with me and I will tell her everything she  needs to
> know. By that time, Lori got on the phone yelling at me to tell her.  I told
> Lori that I call to talk to my children not her. She called me a liar.  I told
> her to leave me alone she has no idea what went on in my home. She said  she
> knows everything. She called me a lousy bitch. Therefore, I told her she  was
a
> home wrecker and a slut. I should not have but I did. She made remarks  about
> me being a lousy mother and I told her she could never be a mother to my
> children because I will always be there mother. She told me that she is there
> mother. I told her she will never be there mother and they are my children. I
> told her again I do not call to talk to her but to my children. Lori put 
Ardella
> on and she told me she does not want to talk to me when I call. I  could tell
> she was upset. Brandy got on now I could hear her crying. She told  me she
> loved me. I asked her if she wanted me to keep calling. She said yes  that she
> loves me and wants to talk to me (she was crying while saying this to  me). At
> this point, I thought it best to end the call. I told brandy that I  love her
> and will talk to her next week. I do not know what that woman is  trying to do
> but I refuse to be a part of her little games especially with my  children. I
> felt Ardella and Brandy are being used and that is just not fair  to them. I
> do not want them to be hurt like that.
> March 11 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she also spoke  about her
> project in school and how her partner for this was a bad boy in her  class she
> was also telling about the bad kids in her class and how it bothers  her. She
> asked me if I was mad at her because of last week. I explained to her  that I
> was not mad and when she is ready she can come to Florida and we can  sit and
> talk about everything and I can then show her all the legal papers So  she can
> understand everything and make her own decision and judgment when she  has all
> the facts. I also told her that I call to speak with her about what is  going
> on in her life and how she is doing. I do not call to argue with anyone.  I
> told her it is ok that Ardella do not want to talk to me and maybe in time
> that will change. I told her to tell Ardella that I love her and miss her. I
> told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next  week.
> March 19 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me that  she has a
> cold. We talked about school and a few other things. I told her to  tell
> Ardella that I love her and miss her. She was not feeling well so I told  her
I
> love her and miss her and will talk to her next week.
> March 26 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not  there.
> April 2 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine, so I left  a message
> for Brandy telling he I loved her and that I will call next  week.
> April 9 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me she  made high
> honors on her report card. I told her I knew she could do it because  she is
> smart. I asked her where she was the last couple of weeks. She told me  that
two
> weeks ago, she was at Laura’s house and Last week she had to go with  Lori
to
> her daycare center to help put in carpet. She also said this week she  has to
> wash Lori’s car. I told her I loved her and missed her and to tell  Ardella
I
> love and miss her too. She told me she loves and misses  me.
> April 16 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that brandy was  unavailable.
> April 23 2005-
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori again told me that she was  unavailable.
> April 30 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy I asked her  where she
> was the last couple of weeks. She told me that they took her camping  and she
> was at Laura’s house. I told her that when she is not there I leave a 
message
> on the answering machine so she will know I called when she is not  there. She
> spoke about being in the band, softball and her first practice, her  friends,
> and upcoming events. I told her I love her and miss her and to tell  Ardella I
> love and miss her too. I told her I would call next  week.
> May 7 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke  about
> softball practice and her first game on Monday night. She told me she  was
doing well
> in school. She seemed happy today. I asked about Ardella . She  told me that
> Ardella was going on a trip to king’s dominion in VA She talked  about
Kendra
> and Laura. She told me all about her sunflowers that she was  growing and that
> she would be going on a trip to Washington DC on June  1st. I told her to
> tell Ardella that I love and miss her very much.  I told Brandy I love and
miss
> her too. I told her I would call again next  week. She said in a low voice “
> happy mother’s day I love youâ€. I said thank  you sweetheart.
> May 14 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00am. I got the answering machine and left  a
> message telling brandy I loved her and will call again next  week.
> May 21 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine again  and left
> message for Brandy letting her know I called and will call again next  week.
> May 28 2005 -
> I called the girls, the message on the answering machine was about  a job in
> the paper, and then it said, “Liz, we don’t have time for your five 
minute
> phone calls. I recorded this and left a message that I called and that  I
> recorded this message.
> June 4 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not  allowed to
> talk to me because her phone privileges have been taken away. I was  not going
> to argue so I hung up.
> June 11 2005 -
> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not there.  She was
> laughing and had a high pitch sound like a fire alarm blarring into  the
> phone. (I did not appreciate this and feel she did not like Brandy wishing  me
a
> happy mother’s day so this is the punishment). I do not want my children 
hurt
> for speaking there feelings to me.
> June 18 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine and  left a
> message for brandy telling her I loved and missed and will call again  next
week.
> June 25 2005 -
> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that I am not allowed  to speak
> with brandy anymore. I hung up.
> This was the last time I called because I do not want my children  being hurt
> emotionally by what this woman is doing to them.
> when the hearing for support was held in jan I didn't have legal
> representation beause I can't afford it.they asked all the usual questions and
I spoke
> to the judge and told her about the drug use and how he sold the house  and
> won't let me know what it amount it sold for was .I told her how he  refuses
to
> pay any of the marital bills because he said there all in my name.  how I was
a
> partneer in the business and did the day to day activity with the  business,
> that he claimed I was a bigamist and the spousal support was thrown  aside.
> that I felt Iw as supporting the children already by what I was not  recieving
> from him. I also told him I love my children but am refused the  right to have
> anything to do with them or a say in how they are brought up. I  also stated
> that I do not want to support my children . I want my children  with me. the
> case was dismissed and no support awarded to him. they also  wanted a
financial
> statement which he would not provide.
>             I  received a letter in the mail a few weeks later which I have
> enclosed  below:
>
>
>
> I received this  letter  in the mail.Dated  June 1, 2005  I have sent this to
>  you word for word.
>
> Liz,
>              As Albert's wife and current acting mother to the girls, I feel
> the need to  express a few things to you. I am a full time mother to Della and
>  Brandy, and frankly, my opinion concerning their upbringing and well being
> is  more significant than yours. Albert and I share the decision making. I
form
>  judgments based on the information I collect from my life experiences,
> therefore I feel justified in saying the following.
>           We are  doing you a favor by allowing you a phone visit with the
> girls. you abandoned  your children and have no legal visitation ( or custody)
> from Florida. you  know all those court documents and papers you say you have?
> ... try reading  them ! the court order states that Albert has full legal  and
> physical  custody of the girls. There are No visitations  listed for because
> you are gone.Albert works on  Saturdays so has obviously chosen me as the
> supervisor for your phone calls so  I will monitor every conversation . I hear
> everything you  say.Albert and I agree this necessary for the girls
protection.(
> because we  feel you are demented). You might as well get use  to this,because
> at this point is not about to change. Record the phone calls if you chose; we
> have nothing to hide or  be afraid of.
>         Where's the proof  you keep talking about to support your stories?
> Let's see it ! If you really  want to prove your honesty, Why wait ? Show the
> proof now. Prove everything  you're telling the kids. Prove that Albert stole
> the house from you! Prove  that he "took" everything from you ! prove that I
> wanted your children ! Make  some copies of your "papers" and send them here.
You
> know there is no  proof  of your lies ! I have taken time to show and explain
> our entire file of court documents to  the girls. We have all our proof :
> Proof that you  abandoned your children and took their money; That you
willingly
> walked away  from your house and the responsibilities; That you illegally sold
> or gave away  Albert's belongings; That you stole money from the business and
> hid invoices;  that you fraudulently obtained numerous credit cards by
> forging Albert's  signature, then secretly hid thousands of dollars in
purchases on
> these cards  from him.
> ( we have  been legally advised that this warrants charges)  Would you like
> to see our proof ? Maybe it would help you face  reality.
>            Of  course I wasn't in your home when you and Albert were
> approaching your  separation, but I have a pretty good idea of what went
on-After all
> I had kept  in contact with him during some of that time.I heard some of those
> stories  first hand and current. Also, the girls have since told me there
> stories. I  am  aware of what Albert's feeling were for you. I'm also aware of
> his  and your behaviors at this time. I know about things  you have done in
> your past that you continue to lie about today.....Remeber when you punched
> Albert in the face? Remember when you never  told your children where you were
> moving to? Remember when they asked you  questions about their future you told
> them to shut up? Remember when you had  Laura caring for their needs because
you
> couldn't get off the computer and  care for your children ? Remember when you
> brainwashed Brandy into telling her Dad she didn't like me. Remember when you
>  told those two innocent young girls to give me "the finger"  whenever
> they saw me?  Remember when you made up the story that I was stalking Brandy
> at summer camp?  Remember when you stole the deposits from the business and
> left Albert with  $6000 of unknown outstanding invoices? (Like I said, you are
> demented.) you  never admit your wrong doings - not even to yourself, the
> person it would  matter most to.
>               You think you can flee for 4 years, abandon your children and
> suddenly step  back into their lives and nothing should have changed. You are
> such a fool !  This is 2005 ! you don't even know your children  anymore. 
they
> are no longer 8 and 11. Della's  15 years old now and she knows when you're
> lying . Brandy is not  an 8 yr  old child anymore either. they are both far
> more intelligent than you believe  they are.Brandy doesn't remember " how mean
> her dad was being" because it  never happened; She knows this and so do you .
> Albert (or I ) never planned to take the kids from  you, nor did he steal the
> house from you; The girls know this also and  so do you. Nobody ever  made you
> leave your children, and I certainly never set out to take them . Who  do you
> think is going to believe that ? ! you live in your own little world  where
> the only truth is " Liz's word" and unfortunately for you, "Liz" is the  only
> believer. You need to wake up ! Albert and I talk to these girls  regularly
> about the things that have happened in the past and present and we  tell them
all
> of the truth, all  of the time . Your weekly five -minute artificial phone
> conversations  have no bearing on what they believe. I personally talk with
the
> girls about  being honest about their feelings in an attempt to teach them
that
> it is ok to  express themselves honestly no matter whom it concerns- that
> includes you and  me. Your past is catching up with you and your world is
> beginning to  crash down around you, because you refuse to accept the  truth.
>               We do not trust anything you say or do. It's our job as parents
> to protect our  children from potential  harm , and we view you as
> potentially harmful.  In case you don't know why we view you as such, here are
a few (
> just a few)  reasons; you've lied to the girls in the past about why you 
left,
> about things their father has done, about sending money for their  birthday,
> you continue to lie everytime you are confronted with a question  from them,
> you've stolen there money. you've made up totally fictitious stories about
> their safety, you  falsely accuse Albert and I of all kinds of ridiculous
notions,
> you sneak  around the country hiding from your responsibilities, you don't
> tell your  children where you are. for years you don't bother to contact them
> consistently, you don't think you should financially support them so you hide
> from and lie to authorities. I could go on and on. Simply put - you are
> untrustable in every way and I wouldn't allow these girls  time alone with you
any
> more than I would allow them time alone with a  stranger. I am protecting
them.
> Sorry if you have a problem with that, but I'm  there parent and that is my
> job. I will do my job  as a parent .
>            If  I were such a bad person how could you be so willing to leave
> your children  behind knowing they would be with me? You are more of a "nasty
> women" than I  could ever possibly be.When you choose to run away I took your
> children in, I  gave them  a home, and I agreed to be involved in their lives
> full time.I  didn't have to do any of this. I did it for Albert and for the
> girls - not for  me, and certainly not for you ! I spent the first few years
> after your  departure giving you the benefit of the doubt and waiting for a
> chance to form  a cooperative relationship with you. I kept trying to explain
and
> excuse your  leaving to the girls, Albert, and myself. I was open to the
> possibility of  eventually getting along with you.I was willing to meet you on
a
> collaborative  level, but you were so belligerent it was hopeless. I continued
to
> wait for  some kind of change from you.(stoplyingand/or become cooperative),
> but I have  since learned different and have given up the wait. You are an
> evil,  vindictive, cold-hearted women. You've spent your life mastering those
> traits  and you have them polished them to perfection so you can manipulate
> everyone  around you - husbands, in laws, children, and friends,etc. But
you've
> never  dealt with Lori Dobson. I won't let you get away with it like your past
> associates have.
>         You have no idea how  your circumstances have changed in the last
> four years or exactly where you  stand now. Your information is seriously
> outdated because you have spent the  last four years running instead of facing
the
> facts. Do you think things have  remained the same as they were in 2001 when
you
> left? - four years have gone  by ! you cannot be that stupid ! Allow me to
> enlighten you : you have no assets left from  your life with Albert,  you
alone
> are still tens of thousands of dollars in  debt and creditors are looking for
> you- and only you, you are no longer  married, Law enforcement officials are
> looking for you in a few states, and  you are in arrears for child support
> since may 2002. These are the facts .  Face Them !
>          I am more of a  mother to these girls than you are. I understand you
> gave birth to them and  feel justified in calling yourself mother. I agree.
> but sincere mother is much  more. That's where I come in. Like I have told you
> in a previous letter, I do  everything a mother should do for these girls. So
> you need to understand that  although I have not given birth to these girls. I
> am  a sincere mother to them. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but  you
> created its truth when you chose to desert your children leaving them  behind
> with Albert and me. Discarding your children may be normal and/or  excusable
> where you come from, but in my family it is wrong. and thanks to  Albert and
> me the girls will be raised to know this is not normal motherly behavior. Now,
> I am here to help Albert by doing what's right. I'll make  sure the girls
> always know that you are their" birth mother" and what you have  done for
them.
>         I do not intend on  trying to replace you- I couldn't , I don't have
> what it takes to do that!  However, I have already taken your place. I am
> where you should have been.I have already I have already spent half as  much
time
> raising these girls as you have and I don't intend to stop now. I am  here
> doing what needs to done for these children- being their caregiver and  role
> model. That's a mothers job. That's my job.you have made your choice- a
> detrimental one- and however you choose to utilize your motherly instincts( if
you
> have any) from this point on is your business.But I am here to finish the  job
I
> started.I made a commitment to be part of these children's lives and I  plan
> to stick with it.I don't intend to desert stepchildren and run from my
> responsibilities.unlike you I am a devoted parent.
>          I am truly sorry for the things I have done to you and  the
> children. I have apologized for my part in the destruction of your  family and
mine.in
> fact, I made apologies to everyone in my life( my  children,My
> ex-husband,parents,siblings,in-laws, and others.) including  myself. I did
this so I could
> move forward . I have spent the last five years  progressing and improving my
> life for then. It has been a long journey , but I  have moved far beyond that
> point of my life,and I am able to hold my head  up.
>          You need to  stop blaming others and take responsibility for your
> actions.and the choices  you made in your life. You spent years ruining  these
> children( and Albert for that matter) long before I was ever in the  picture.
> They were so scared , confused, needy and insecure when I met them-  because
of
> you! They may not realize it yet,but quite frankly, getting away  from you is
> probably one of the most advantageous things that ever happen to  them in
> terms of becoming the best they can be.Albert and I are working  together to
help
> the girls grow in a more positive direction- to become  confident,
> responsible and independent.
>        over the last four years I  have tried to
> understand,explain,excuse,and tolerate your behavior, but now I am through. I
will not allow you to make
> fools out of these children anymore, nor am I going to let you do any harm to
> them . Our goal is to raise healthy, responsible, and well adjusted children,
>  and at this point you are not a big part of the equation. Presently you may
> continue to call here on Saturdays; honestly. We are currently willing to
> tolerate it for the girls sake.But as you know, If you start trouble for 
either
> of them ( mainly Brandy since Della chooses not to speak with you at  this
> point.) we will terminate the phone calls as we see fit. And in the  future if
> we feel your calls are becoming detrimental to their health(  emotionally or
> physiologically) we will put a stop to them altogether. Again,  for their
> protection !
>        You can attempt to form  your own " physco support group " by calling
> Denise ( or anyone else) and dragging her into the  mix by crying about things
> I say and do to you. I don't trust either of you.  nor am I intimidated by
> you. Trust me, I know your game and I don't play it. I  am doing what's right
> and I don't care what others think.
> you couldn't find some  integrity within yourself if you where offered money
> for it. You are a liar !  You are a thief ! And a deadbeat ! I expect an am
> prepared for more  confrontations with you.
>
>
> Sincerely,
> Lori ( His  Girlfriend or Wife)
>
>           The next correspondence was the letter from the court in
> pennsylvania  telling me there is a hearing on dec 21st @ 3:15pm and I ca do
this by
> phone  conference. I have no resources ands legal aid says at $8.95 an hr I
make
> too  much money. the lawyers scatter like flies. PLEASE, PLEASE help  me
>
>                                                    Elizabeth  Dobson
>

#21908 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:57 am
Subject: Re: PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!! PLEASE!!!
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.


--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "Krystal" <katgrrrrl99@...> wrote:
>
> I am in a wheelchair & my husband is deaf, We have 3 of the best kids
> around (most moms think this)
> My husband has MAJOR depression & he was really suicidal the other
> night & I had him taken (by police) to a psych ward to calm down & I
> called one of my "friends" to take the kids for a bit so I could clean
> up the massive amount of damage done to our home (BIGGEST & most
> idiotic mistake of my life!!!)
> She keeps them for far too long & I can't get to her by phone - I am
> terrified something has happened to them
> We already had a child welfare case in the next town over due to my
> husband not cleaning while I was preggers & a pissy meth head neighbor.
> OK, back to the present....Our DCFS worker comes by & while she is
> here she gets a call that our children were in her office & doesn't
> tell me but I could sense something is amiss....
> The allegations are: we hit my daughter on the head with a laptop, my
> son had bite marks on his testicles, my daughter dad a swollen red
> vagina, & our place is FILTHY & flea & insect ridden- we will have to
> go to court to get our children back!!
> The house seems very oddly quiet right now & I am totally
> heartbroken....As we are disabled we can't afford a lawyer & am not
> sure a state lawyer will defend us properly....Please don't say "You
> shouldn't have had kids because you don't have much money & you are
> disabled" either....I don't think I could take it right now!
>

#21909 From: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:59 am
Subject: Re: Urgent help needed!
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
UPDATE PLEASE.

As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep
their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

--- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, NanSac@... wrote:
>
>
> Dawn wrote:
> My sister resides in another state. She has two children, a ten year
> old girl who has another father, and a seven year old boy who is the
> son of the man she has been dating for two years. Her daughter
> recently told her that her "stepfather" has been molesting her. She
> took her daughter to a pediatrician who confirmed the sexual abuse.
> Together, she and the pediatrician called Child Protective Services
> who opened an investigation. She immediately removed herself and her
> children from his home and ended all visitation.
>
> They have never been married, and there is no child custody
> agreement. He has never paid child support (and she does not want
> child support). His name is on the birth certificate.
>
> One month has passed, and Child Protective Services has done nothing
> except interview the man. They have not contacted the District
> Attorney, and no one has obtained an Order of Protection for her or
> the children. This man is now demanding to see the children. He is
> making physical threats, and he is threatening to TAKE the children.
>
> He was always the breadwinner, and he has many connections in the
> small town where they reside. She has no connections in the small
> town, and she has no money.
>
> Child Protective Services has told her not to contact the police
> because it is THEIR investigation. They told her not to get an Order
> of Protection.
>
> Who can she turn to for help?
>
> Can she legally flee the state?
>
> If she obtains an Order of Protection, does that stop him from taking
> her to court for custody?
>
> If he files for custody before she gets the Order of Protection, will
> she have to hand over the children?
>
> Thanks!
> Dawn
>
> This is a terrrible situation.    There is nothing to stop you now from
> leaving the state since he has not started any litigation.  His threat is to
your
> son since he is not the father to your daughter.  Would he try to get back at
> you for reporting him by suing for custody of your son.  He is obviously a
> dangerous man and could succeed.if he dominate the court.  If you can
disappear
> where he can't find you, this would be the time to do it.  If he can find you,
> he could sue in a jurisdictional proceeding to  force you to return..  Wishing
> you better luck.  Others may have better advicel  Nannette
>

#21910 From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:08 am
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
liora_stein
Send Email Send Email
 

Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?

On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he made you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>
> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>
> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>
>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatically he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>
>
>

#21911 From: lbe818@...
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:09 pm
Subject: Re: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
lbe818
Send Email Send Email
 
This absolutely is the wrong motion to file in family court regarding PAS.  This is a special motion filed against someone who is litigating against your first amendment protection of free speech.
 
In a message dated 12/11/2010 3:21:01 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, rfs1215@... writes:
 

I was wondering if anyone had ever tried filing a SLAPP motion in response to this PAS garbage science? The purpose of asserting PAS is to bleed mothers dry and coerce them into giving up custody. The purpose is to SILENCE protective parents and abused children. Parenting is a constitutionally protected activity right? Since the court is maliciously prosecuting the case and selling your rights to GAL's, therapists, mediators, visitation centers, etc. during discovery, do you know anyone who has tried this? What about if you are the defendant in counterclaims? I am curious to see if anyone can share their experiences.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation

"A strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP) is a lawsuit that is intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.[1]

The typical SLAPP plaintiff does not normally expect to win the lawsuit. The plaintiff's goals are accomplished if the defendant succumbs to fear, intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the criticism. A SLAPP may also intimidate others from participating in the debate. A SLAPP is often preceded by a legal threat....To win an anti-SLAPP motion, the defendant must first show that the lawsuit is based on constitutionally protected activity. Then, the burden shifts to the plaintiff, to affirmatively present evidence to show that they have a reasonable probability of prevailing on the action. The filing of an anti-SLAPP motion stays all discovery. This feature acts to greatly reduce the cost of litigation to the anti-SLAPP defendant, and can make beating the motion extremely difficult for the plaintiff, because they effectively must prove their case without the benefit of discovery."

Here is the definitions of


#21912 From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:12 am
Subject: Re: Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
liora_stein
Send Email Send Email
 

You know it is not just CA or FL it is all over the country

On Dec 11, 2010 9:57 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
> UPDATE PLEASE.
>
> As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
>
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, JUSTICEforADJANI@... wrote:
>>
>> Dear Advocate groups,
>> My post are being "bounced back to me" I hope you get this, long but VIP
>> Plea of help from
>> another grieving Parent "not from FL but also, caught up in FL abusive
>> process and FL lies.
>> I appreciate any help or support you can give, this mother. Denied visits,
>> monitored calls, Threatened, You might as well get use to this,because is not
>> about to change. Same threat
>> as me, my introduction, to brutal FL system. Thank you! Sila,
>> JUSTICEforADJANI
>>
>> Dear Elizabeth,
>> Thank you for contacting me. I relate well to your pain. I'm very sorry you
>> had to go thru the
>> E-N-D-L-E-S-S "fl" Abusive process injustice. Our cases mirrors the violence
>> and tragedy. I am Fwd your story to Advocate for support; given my humble
>> means. I'd refer you to groups
>> in your area but, I question their effectiveness due to silence. Feel free
>> to write any time,
>> you do not walk alone! STRENGTH COMES IN UNION...blessings, "Sila"
>> _http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html_
>> (http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html)
>>
>> Forwarded Message:
>> Subj: Fw: please help Date: 10/27/2005 9:35:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
>> From: _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...) To:
>> _ibuy.1@..._ (mailto:ibuy.1@...) , _cj7scrambler@..._
>> (mailto:cj7scrambler@...) , _nativeamerican252003@..._
>> (mailto:nativeamerican252003@...) , _jacqueline614@..._ (mailto:jacqueline614@...) ,
>> _adjanisila@..._ (mailto:adjanisila@...) , _ONEDAV1FL@..._
>> (mailto:ONEDAV1FL@...) Sent from the Internet _(Details)_
>> (aolmsg://01975be0/inethdr/2)
>>
>>
>> Is there a way you can help me with what is going on in my life .I seem to
>> have no rights. please read the letter below and see if you can help I have
>> tried everything including writing to the white house with no luck. tell me
>> because he has money and I don't this is fair. Is there anybody out there that
>> can help me. Any advise or agency recommendation would be appreciated
>>
>>
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>> 1250 Woodcrest Drive
>> Daytona Beach,Fl 32114
>> _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...)
>> 386-569-9394
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I am enclosing some details of what I am going through. I can find no help
>> with Lawyers or anywhere I turn I have even wrote to the white house.
>> Presently I am one step away from losing anything I might have. I seem to have no
>> rights what so ever and the court is listening to someone who has abused me,
>> drugs and kept me away from having any bond with my children.you are my last
>> hope.
>>
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>> P.S. I Have tried everything
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I am not sure what to write here but I can only give you the truth.
>>
>> I left pennsylvania in feb 2001 to visit my daughter in Va to get away from
>> a terrible situtation at home where my ex was harassing me and threatening to
>> kill me because I found his drugs and took pictures of it and showed his
>> family. this started in august because I found out about his affair with the
>> women he is with now.
>>
>> my youngest daughter had described a pill box that he had some white powder
>> in and a straw.she also described small white pills. his family didn't
>> beleive me but went right to him he came home from work and was over me by the
>> sink he had the look of a crazed person in his eyes. he told me he was going to
>> kill me for what I had done.he went to hit me and I pushed and slapped him.
>> he called the police and said he was abused by me. when they got there they
>> had me in the living room with my children while he was in the kitchen with
>> the other officer which he had known.I told the officer what had happened and
>> he could arrest me if he wanted to but I was defending myself. I told him how
>> my daughter had seen the drugs and he looked me right in the eye and said"
>> maam we are not here for that" they never asked him to empty his pockets or to
>> even leave. they told me I should take the children and leave the premises.I
>> told the officer "no this is my home and I have no where to take the children
>> " he told me he could not make him leave the home. when they left I put the
>> kids to bed and stayed away from him . he threatened me again and I locked
>> myself in the bedroom and called domestic violence hotline where I was on the
>> phone with them half the night.I did not sleep that night in fear he would
>> break the door down and kill me. there was violence in the past and I knew he
>> had guns in the basement.
>>
>> the next morning I told him he had to leave I could not live like this . he
>> packed and left.I didn't know he had called the ultilities and was having
>> them shut off the end of the month.I found out when the electric company had
>> called the house and asked if I wanted the electric to continue in my name.they
>> had explained that he called them to terminate service so I called all the
>> other ultilities and found out he had done the same.I had copied the books in
>> the store showing all his income and had them hidden between the mattresses
>> of my bed along with the pictures. he got into the house while I was at the
>> store and took them.he told me he would use the pictures against me now.he
>> would have everything and I would be homeless he wanted the house sold and me out
>> of it and that he would have the children and I am going to wind up with
>> nothing.he then took the checkbook for the business and had it at his mothers
>> house it was at this point I no longer went into the store. he came over to the
>> house yelling that I had to run the store and I told him I didn't .I was not
>> going to sit there and not be able to have any money to live I had to go get
>> a job. I went and applied in over 30 places with no answer until I had a
>> friend call the store and say I was applying for a job and they wanted a
>> reference for me. he had his mother sitting in there selling carpet and she told
>> them I was a totally untrustworthy that I had stole money from the business and
>> I should not be hired.
>>
>> I told him I wanted child and spousal support he said he wanted it legal and
>> I better do it quick so I went to the courthouse and filled out the papers.
>> the hearing was in jan of 2001. he was served with the papers and came to the
>> house in a rage . I told him I did what you asked me to do. he reversed
>> everything and said he never told me to do this.he said I will never get spousal
>> support and I will never be able to fight him with no money.I told him the
>> only one he is hurting is the children. he told me he will have the children and
>> she will be there mother.I asked him to leave he again threatened to harm me
>> and I told him I would call the police. he told to go ahead they think your
>> crazy anyway remember I grew up in this town and I can do what I want to you
>> and you have no one to turn to.he started breaking into the house when I
>> wasn't there and the police said because his name is on the deed there is nothing
>> I can do he has every right to enter the home even though he doesn't live
>> there.
>>
>> I went to several lawyers and they told me that this was an involved case and
>> a few turned it down because they didn't have the time to give it.I found
>> one that took it and wanted 800.00 up front I gave it to him and he did nothing
>> .when it came time for the hearing he told me I didn't need him there it was
>> just support and I will get what I was asking for which I didn't.when my
>> husband filed for divorce Ihad told my lawyer I to sue on grounds of adultry he
>> told me not to do that to let him pay for the divorce because I wouldn't have
>> the money to pay for it myself I looked at this lawyer and asked what I had
>> paid for which he told me the his time. meanwhile my husband refused to pay
>> any of the bills which amounted to 2,000 a month.he said I would have to find
>> a way they are all in my name and he don't have to pay for a thing anymore.my
>> children told me to use there savings accounts because they hasd seen me
>> crying and talking to my older daughter about not knowing what Iw as gonna do
>> and christmas was here and I had nothing for the kids.I did the best I could at
>> that point.
>>
>> in jan my son in law came to send a few days with me and he had seen what he
>> was doing. he had broken in again and took most of the things in the
>> basement and the lawn mower and some rugs that where stored in there.I called the
>> police and they still wouldn't do anything ebven though he has been out of the
>> house since august they refuseed to do anything.all I could do at this time
>> was cry.I finally had to use the childrens savings to pay what I could of the
>> bills and the car so it wouldn't get taken for not paying it off. I had come
>> to the end of my rope. I had told my son in law if things go bad with the
>> hearing I would have no choice but to let him have the kids so they have a roof
>> over there head.I wa told to write a statement that it would be temporary
>> until I found a place to live. I wrote it up and gave it to my daughter to bring
>> to the lawyer because everything went wrong at the hearing. first he claimed
>> all he made was 12,000 for the year.I tried to tell them it was a lie but
>> the hearings officer didn't want to hear it.I had asked for spousal support and
>> his lawyer said that I may be a bigamist and I couldn't beleive it.the
>> hearing officer just threw it aside.he determined that I was to get 34.00 a week
>> per child I told him that was crazy and that I would let my children live with
>> my ex until I got on my feet. again I was told to write it out and send it
>> to my lawyer to have a copy sent to my ex. which the lawyer received that
>> afternoon.which they claim they never got.
>>
>> He took the children (which I thought maybe he would see what he was doing
>> and stop but he didn't) I had my older daughter there because I couldn't be
>> there when he took them I would have probably been put in jail so I made sure I
>> was not there .after they were gone I came home I felt like my heart was
>> ripped out.the next day I left and went to Virginia.I told my older daughter to
>> take my furniture and things bring them to her house and store them in her
>> basement and attic until I find a place to live.I figured I had better get
>> out of the house because I felt Iw as in real danger now without the children
>> there with me.
>>
>> I arrived at my daughters in virginia late that evening, spent some time
>> with my grandchildren the next day and was feeling a little better.the following
>> day my daughter back in pa called and said that he broke the door in on the
>> house and changed all the locks.so now I was really homeless.I left my
>> daughters the next day and didn't know where I was gonna go but couldn't stay with
>> her becaause Iw as not got be a burden on my child like that.so I came to
>> florida to spend some time with friends that use to live near us in pa.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> When I Came to Florida i stayed with friends from back home that had moved
>> down here. they found me a room to rent for 35.00 aweek and I found a job
>> waitressing. I I was or thought I was talking with my children with e mail but
>> it just didn't seem like the way they would answer They thought I was in texas
>> and it had to be that way so he wouldn't find me.they where always asking
>> where I was and that I was taking there father to court.I didn't know what they
>> meant until I recieved papers in the last week of april of 2001 saying he
>> wanted to sell the house and get custody of the children.the hearing was on the
>> 14th of may there was no way I could do anything in such little time.I wrote
>> the court telling them I objected to the selling of the house by the realtor
>> he was choosing because she was a close family friend and would not be
>> honest about the sale it went though anyway I also protested the custody but got
>> nowhere with that either he wa allowed to sell the house without me and the
>> court gave him full custody of the children and Iw as to recieve supervised
>> visitation but a person of his choice.. This was crazy I did nothing wrong but
>> yet evrything was being taken away.
>>
>> he harassed mty daughter until she gave him my furniture and I recieved a
>> envelope with pictures of our wedding and some old pictures from an album my
>> daughter was keeping for me. I guess this was to let me know he had my
>> stuff.what she had told me was he wouldn't leave her alone and had the cops at her
>> door and showed receipts for the items that I hold the bills for now. I had
>> wrote his lawyer and told him I wanted fifty percent of everything in the
>> marriage including the business. I had also wanted it stated that I could resume
>> the use of my maiden name.I made a list of the things he had taken from my
>> Daughter and my personal belongings that he had taken I also told the lawyer
>> that mr.Dobson knew exactly where I was and lied about not knowing my where
>> abouts because I know these friends I stayed with called him and he had sent me
>> that envelope with his return address on it..I never heard from his attorney
>> again. I wrote him again and wanted to know what was going on with the divorce
>> and again stating what I wanted from the divorce settlement and that I
>> wanted alimony. I still got no response he had also had my daughter brandy call
>> collect which I couldn't accept because this was not my phone or home.he also
>> gave someone the number because I got a call threatening me about the bills
>> that where owed and how I was going to jail for them.there were two men on the
>> phone and they told me the police were on the way and I would be arrested.the
>> people I wa staying with were not happy that he was doing this with there
>> number and had to have it changed and unpublished so it would stop.I didn't
>> call there because I felt it would only cause trouble for the children.I tried
>> on christmas but he would not let me speak to them.then in I believe it was
>> july of 2003. the sheriff was at the home trying to serve me with papers. I
>> called the sheriff to pick up the papers and it was for support of the
>> children.to be held in flagler county court. I moved in with a girlfriend because I
>> felt I was causing these people trouble.I went and got an attorney to represent
>> me and they awarded him no support. My daughter Brandy was writing me and
>> telling me she missed and loved me. I was afraid to answer her letters because
>> nothing I sent was getting to them I was writing and sending them to my older
>> Daughters home until he found out and whatever he said to her.she would not
>> accept the letters anymore and I haven't heard from here since.I had sent
>> these girls cards for christmas and there birthdays and they never recived them
>> and he claims I never sent them so I stopped sending them.
>>
>> Feeling like a drifter and nowhere to go I rented a trailer in bunnell
>> where I lived by myself. I never changed my post office box so I could get the
>> letters from my Daughter.in one letter she had said they where in florida on
>> vacation .they knew where bunnell was but not where I lived. I thought he
>> could have wrote and told me he would be here and where I could meet to see the
>> children but I was told after the fact of them being here. I wrote the lawyer
>> again asking again about the divorce and the settlement but he never answered
>> again. I moved to Daytona in june of 2004. I gave the children my address
>> and hoped for the best within a few months the sheriff was at my door again
>> serving me with papers for support. this time I called and tried to talk to him
>> and explained I have no money and its more important for the children to have
>> a relationship with me. I am there mother and want to be a part of there
>> life .he told me I have no right to my children that the court took my rights
>> away.that lori is there mother and she will make all the decisions concerning
>> my children.I told him I am there mother and he has kept me away too long.he
>> told me that I owed him for tools that where in the basement I told him he
>> broke into the home two days after I left and I had no idea what happen to his
>> tools they where in the basement.he wasn't concerned about talking about the
>> children just his things and I told him after about thirty minutes of his none
>> stop ranting that I called to talk to him about the girls not his
>> belongings.I was told he will keep me away from them and I will never saee them again
>> they hate me and he has told them how crazy I am and how I don't want anything
>> to do with them.I asked him how he can hurt these children like this .his
>> response was he nots hurting them he's in charge and it will be his way and
>> there is no talking I have no legal right to the children. I told him I didn't
>> want to fight with him I just want a relationship with my children. that we
>> don't have to be enemies for I did nothing wrong and he must stop this for the
>> sake of the children. he finally said he didn't care if I gave him twenty
>> dollars a week.I told him I wanted to talk to the girls on the phone.he told me
>> to call on saturday.
>>
>> PHONE CALLS TO GIRLS
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Sept 17 2004 -
>> Spoke with Albert regarding support Hearing He told me that he did not care
>> if it was 20 dollars a week as long as I paid something. I explained my
>> financial hardships and his unwillingness to work with me with the girls. I told
>> him I wanted to speak with my children, that I would call Saturday morning. He
>> told me they are not available.
>> Sept 20 2004 -
>> Spoke with Albert again to confirm agreement for 20 wkly. He told me he was
>> waiting to hear from his caseworker about this. I tried to explain to him how
>> its not healthy for the children not to have a relationship with me and how
>> this was only suppose to be a temporary arrangement and I will be apart of
>> their lives. He told me I could speak with them on sat 9/25/2005, that I should
>> call the store. Told him I will call at 10:00 am.
>> Sept 25 2004 -
>> I called the store at 10:00 am. He then proceeded to tell me about things he
>> was missing. I explained to him that I had no idea where his stuff was
>> because Mary was taking care of storing my belongings and was told to leave his
>> tools alone. If he was missing anything, he should speak with her. He also made
>> me aware that he got most of the stuff from Mary. I also told him that he
>> broke the door in on Feb 3rd and changed all the locks so I could not re enter
>> and took the cable box and anything else that was still in the home. I also
>> told him that he must return the box to the cable company. He said I would
>> have to prove that he has it He also told me “I told you that you would be
>> homeless and penniless as you can see I meant it†. He went on for approx 30
>> minutes about how he will not pay any bills because they are in my name and he owes
>> me nothing. He also told me that he would take what he can from me and I
>> cannot stop him, because I cannot afford to stop it and as long as he keeps me
>> in this position, he wins. I told him that once he gets over his guilt of
>> adultery maybe then he would stop projecting his anger at me. He went on and on
>> about how everything is his and I am not getting anything from him. I told him
>> I did not call to talk about his issues but to speak with my children. We
>> can be friends for the sake of the girls. I do not want to argue. Then he
>> finally told me the girls where not there but at home and I should call there. I
>> said I hope we can be friends because I do not want to call and argue just
>> speak with my girls.
>> Sept 25 2004 -
>> I called the girls at his girlfriend’s home. She answered and put me on
>> speakerphone before putting the girls on. I spoke with both of them. I told them
>> I loved them and missed them. They told me the same. I promised the both of
>> them I would call every Saturday morning at 10:00 am. The girls said yes they
>> would like that and they would be there for my call.
>> Oct 2 2004-
>> I called Ardella and Brandy at 10:00 am at the girlfriend’s house. I got the
>> answering machine so I left a message telling the girls I called as I
>> promised and would call next week at the same time.
>> Oct 2 2004-
>> I called the store Albert answered and I asked why the girls where not there
>> for my call, I had told them I would be calling today. He told me Ardella
>> was in New York and Lori (his girlfriend) took Brandy to her sister’s house. I
>> informed him that the girls want to speak with me. He told me I have no legal
>> right to the children. I told him I would call back next week.
>> Oct 9 2004 -
>> I called at 10:00 am to speak with the girls .I got answering machine again
>> so I left a message addressed to the girls telling them I called and will call
>> next week at the same time.
>> Oct 9 2004-
>> I called the store to find out where the girls were. I got answering machine
>> there also, so I left a message “I said I will be calling the girls again
>> next week at 10:00 am like agreed with children†.
>> Oct 16 2004 -
>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori (his girlfriend) answered. I finally spoke with
>> Brandy. I wished her a happy birthday and told her I love and miss her. I
>> asked where she was the last two weeks. She told me that on 10/2 she had to go
>> with Lori and missed talking with me. On 10/9 her father took her them camping.
>> We talked for a while she told me she wishes I was there with her. She said
>> this very low because she is on the speakerphone. Brandy also spoke about her
>> friends and school. I asked to speak with Ardella but Brandy said she was
>> not there. I told Brandy that I loved her and to tell Ardella I love her and
>> miss them both and I will call next week.
>> Oct 23 2004-
>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there. I spoke with
>> Ardella . She spoke about school and being in the band. She told me Brandy was over
>> a girlfriend’s house and she was going to dad’s store. I told her I love
>> her and to tell Brandy I called and tell her I love them and miss them both
>> very much. Told Ardella I will call next week.
>> Oct 30 2004-
>> I called Ardella and Brandy At 10:00 am .I was put on speakerphone by Lori.
>> I spoke with Brandy. She told me how her costume for Halloween was a
>> hillbilly and that she would be going trick or treating. She told me she did not want
>> to go to school there next year because she will be going to a new school
>> (annex I assumed). I told her she has nothing to worry about all her old
>> friends will be there with her. Brandy told me she wants to see me. I told her I
>> want to see her and maybe soon we can see each other. Ardella was not there so
>> I told Brandy I loved them both and to tell ardella I called. Brandy told me
>> she loved and missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. I told her I
>> would talk to her next week.
>> Nov 6 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she told me that she is
>> sick. We talked about school for a little bit. I told her I love and miss
>> her. I spoke with Ardella she told me about school and playing her instrument
>> in the band at school. I told her I love her and miss her and will talk with
>> them again next week.
>> Nov 13 2004-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am I was told by Lori that the girls were
>> unavailable.
>> Nov 20 2004-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about school
>> and things she was doing. She told me about her trip to Maryland. She seemed
>> very quiet and careful about what she was saying. I asked for Ardella but
>> Brandy said she was sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love her and miss her.
>> I asked Brandy to send pictures. She said she would. I told her I loved her
>> and missed her and I will talk to her next week.
>> Nov 27 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori answered and told me they were not
>> there. Asked where they were but got no response.
>> Dec 3 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy, she told me it was cold
>> there and we talked about a little general stuff. She told me she loved and
>> missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. She told me her father said
>> she could take piano lessons after the New Year. I told her that was good and I
>> hope she will enjoy that. She sounded happy about it. I asked for Ardella
>> but she would not come to the phone said she was tired and laying down. I told
>> Brandy to tell her I love her and miss them both and I will talk to them next
>> week.
>> Dec 11 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that they were not there.
>> Dec 11 2004 -
>> I called the store. Albert answered; I asked if the girls were there. He
>> told me no. I asked where they were. His answer was; it is none of my business.
>> I told him they are my children and I promised them I would call every week.
>> He told me I have no legal right to the children and I will never get them
>> back. I did not see where this call was doing any good so I asked him to come
>> to an agreement on the support. He told me I have a legal responsibility to
>> support them. I told him I have a legal responsibility to be there mother. He
>> told me there mother is with them and I will never get them back. I hung up.
>> Dec 18 2004 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She talked about school,
>> her grades, and that she was doing really well. She went on to tell me that
>> where she is living none of her friends are not around and she does not like the
>> weekends because she has nothing to do there. She did not sound happy at
>> all. Ardella was sleeping again so I told her to tell her I love her and miss
>> her. Told brandy I love and miss her and will talk with her next week.
>> Dec 25 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I wished them both a very merry Christmas
>> and told them I will call again next week.
>> Jan 1 2005 -
>> I called at 10:00 am. Albert answered and said they were both in bed
>> sleeping. I told him to tell them I called and will call next week.
>> Jan 8 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy. She told me about her
>> Christmas vacation and Ardella’s birthday party and New Years Eve party they
>> had at the house. We talked about school and her grades. I told her as long
>> as she does her best no one could ask for more. She told me that on Saturdays
>> she cleans her room. I asked for Ardella but she said she was upstairs
>> sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love and miss her and†hopefully “next week
>> she will be up so I can talk with her. I told Brandy that I love and miss her
>> and will talk to her next week.
>> Jan 15 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. We talked about when she
>> was younger and her about memories of things we did together then. She was
>> happy talking about these things. She told me she was going to the youth group at
>> the church we use to go to together but they not taken there any longer on
>> Sundays. She told me she would be getting her report card on the 31st. I told
>> her that she probably did great. I asked her about her friends and she told
>> me she has not been able to be with them for a while she also said there is
>> nothing to do there. I asked for Ardella but she said she was sleeping. I told
>> her I love her and we started playing “I love you more†and she laughed. I
>> told her that even though I am not there nothing has changed and I still love
>> her with all my heart. She told me she still loved me with all her heart too.
>> She told me about her scrapbook where she looks at the pictures she has of
>> all of us. I told her that was good and they are good memories to have. I told
>> her to tell Ardella I love and miss her and will call again next week.
>> Jan 22 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy about school. She told
>> me it was snowing and that they could get about a foot before it stops. She
>> talked about her best friend Kendra that she has known since she was 4 yrs
>> old. I told her I was very glad she still has Kendra as her best friend. She
>> talked about things the two of them did together when they were younger. I asked
>> for Ardella but she was in bed sleeping. I told her to tell Ardella I love
>> and miss her. I told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next
>> week.
>> Jan 29 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were not there.
>> Feb 5 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori said they were not available to take
>> calls.
>> Feb 12 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She was not talkative
>> like usual. It was very brief she said there was nothing new. She seemed very
>> uneasy and cautious. I spoke with Ardella and the same very quiet and
>> non-talkative. I told them I loved them and will call next week.
>> Feb 19 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were unavailable.
>> Feb 26 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me they were not available.
>> March 5 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy she was upset and Lori
>> was yelling in the background “ask her why she Left†. Brandy then asked (I
>> could tell she was crying) why did you leave. I told her when she is ready she
>> can come here sit down with me and I will tell her everything she needs to
>> know. By that time, Lori got on the phone yelling at me to tell her. I told
>> Lori that I call to talk to my children not her. She called me a liar. I told
>> her to leave me alone she has no idea what went on in my home. She said she
>> knows everything. She called me a lousy bitch. Therefore, I told her she was a
>> home wrecker and a slut. I should not have but I did. She made remarks about
>> me being a lousy mother and I told her she could never be a mother to my
>> children because I will always be there mother. She told me that she is there
>> mother. I told her she will never be there mother and they are my children. I
>> told her again I do not call to talk to her but to my children. Lori put Ardella
>> on and she told me she does not want to talk to me when I call. I could tell
>> she was upset. Brandy got on now I could hear her crying. She told me she
>> loved me. I asked her if she wanted me to keep calling. She said yes that she
>> loves me and wants to talk to me (she was crying while saying this to me). At
>> this point, I thought it best to end the call. I told brandy that I love her
>> and will talk to her next week. I do not know what that woman is trying to do
>> but I refuse to be a part of her little games especially with my children. I
>> felt Ardella and Brandy are being used and that is just not fair to them. I
>> do not want them to be hurt like that.
>> March 11 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she also spoke about her
>> project in school and how her partner for this was a bad boy in her class she
>> was also telling about the bad kids in her class and how it bothers her. She
>> asked me if I was mad at her because of last week. I explained to her that I
>> was not mad and when she is ready she can come to Florida and we can sit and
>> talk about everything and I can then show her all the legal papers So she can
>> understand everything and make her own decision and judgment when she has all
>> the facts. I also told her that I call to speak with her about what is going
>> on in her life and how she is doing. I do not call to argue with anyone. I
>> told her it is ok that Ardella do not want to talk to me and maybe in time
>> that will change. I told her to tell Ardella that I love her and miss her. I
>> told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>> March 19 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me that she has a
>> cold. We talked about school and a few other things. I told her to tell
>> Ardella that I love her and miss her. She was not feeling well so I told her I
>> love her and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>> March 26 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there.
>> April 2 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine, so I left a message
>> for Brandy telling he I loved her and that I will call next week.
>> April 9 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me she made high
>> honors on her report card. I told her I knew she could do it because she is
>> smart. I asked her where she was the last couple of weeks. She told me that two
>> weeks ago, she was at Laura’s house and Last week she had to go with Lori to
>> her daycare center to help put in carpet. She also said this week she has to
>> wash Lori’s car. I told her I loved her and missed her and to tell Ardella I
>> love and miss her too. She told me she loves and misses me.
>> April 16 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that brandy was unavailable.
>> April 23 2005-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori again told me that she was unavailable.
>> April 30 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy I asked her where she
>> was the last couple of weeks. She told me that they took her camping and she
>> was at Laura’s house. I told her that when she is not there I leave a message
>> on the answering machine so she will know I called when she is not there. She
>> spoke about being in the band, softball and her first practice, her friends,
>> and upcoming events. I told her I love her and miss her and to tell Ardella I
>> love and miss her too. I told her I would call next week.
>> May 7 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about
>> softball practice and her first game on Monday night. She told me she was doing well
>> in school. She seemed happy today. I asked about Ardella . She told me that
>> Ardella was going on a trip to king’s dominion in VA She talked about Kendra
>> and Laura. She told me all about her sunflowers that she was growing and that
>> she would be going on a trip to Washington DC on June 1st. I told her to
>> tell Ardella that I love and miss her very much. I told Brandy I love and miss
>> her too. I told her I would call again next week. She said in a low voice “
>> happy mother’s day I love you†. I said thank you sweetheart.
>> May 14 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00am. I got the answering machine and left a
>> message telling brandy I loved her and will call again next week.
>> May 21 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine again and left
>> message for Brandy letting her know I called and will call again next week.
>> May 28 2005 -
>> I called the girls, the message on the answering machine was about a job in
>> the paper, and then it said, “Liz, we don’t have time for your five minute
>> phone calls. I recorded this and left a message that I called and that I
>> recorded this message.
>> June 4 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not allowed to
>> talk to me because her phone privileges have been taken away. I was not going
>> to argue so I hung up.
>> June 11 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not there. She was
>> laughing and had a high pitch sound like a fire alarm blarring into the
>> phone. (I did not appreciate this and feel she did not like Brandy wishing me a
>> happy mother’s day so this is the punishment). I do not want my children hurt
>> for speaking there feelings to me.
>> June 18 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine and left a
>> message for brandy telling her I loved and missed and will call again next week.
>> June 25 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that I am not allowed to speak
>> with brandy anymore. I hung up.
>> This was the last time I called because I do not want my children being hurt
>> emotionally by what this woman is doing to them.
>> when the hearing for support was held in jan I didn't have legal
>> representation beause I can't afford it.they asked all the usual questions and I spoke
>> to the judge and told her about the drug use and how he sold the house and
>> won't let me know what it amount it sold for was .I told her how he refuses to
>> pay any of the marital bills because he said there all in my name. how I was a
>> partneer in the business and did the day to day activity with the business,
>> that he claimed I was a bigamist and the spousal support was thrown aside.
>> that I felt Iw as supporting the children already by what I was not recieving
>> from him. I also told him I love my children but am refused the right to have
>> anything to do with them or a say in how they are brought up. I also stated
>> that I do not want to support my children . I want my children with me. the
>> case was dismissed and no support awarded to him. they also wanted a financial
>> statement which he would not provide.
>> I received a letter in the mail a few weeks later which I have
>> enclosed below:
>>
>>
>>
>> I received this letter in the mail.Dated June 1, 2005 I have sent this to
>> you word for word.
>>
>> Liz,
>> As Albert's wife and current acting mother to the girls, I feel
>> the need to express a few things to you. I am a full time mother to Della and
>> Brandy, and frankly, my opinion concerning their upbringing and well being
>> is more significant than yours. Albert and I share the decision making. I form
>> judgments based on the information I collect from my life experiences,
>> therefore I feel justified in saying the following.
>> We are doing you a favor by allowing you a phone visit with the
>> girls. you abandoned your children and have no legal visitation ( or custody)
>> from Florida. you know all those court documents and papers you say you have?
>> ... try reading them ! the court order states that Albert has full legal and
>> physical custody of the girls. There are No visitations listed for because
>> you are gone.Albert works on Saturdays so has obviously chosen me as the
>> supervisor for your phone calls so I will monitor every conversation . I hear
>> everything you say.Albert and I agree this necessary for the girls protection.(
>> because we feel you are demented). You might as well get use to this,because
>> at this point is not about to change. Record the phone calls if you chose; we
>> have nothing to hide or be afraid of.
>> Where's the proof you keep talking about to support your stories?
>> Let's see it ! If you really want to prove your honesty, Why wait ? Show the
>> proof now. Prove everything you're telling the kids. Prove that Albert stole
>> the house from you! Prove that he "took" everything from you ! prove that I
>> wanted your children ! Make some copies of your "papers" and send them here. You
>> know there is no proof of your lies ! I have taken time to show and explain
>> our entire file of court documents to the girls. We have all our proof :
>> Proof that you abandoned your children and took their money; That you willingly
>> walked away from your house and the responsibilities; That you illegally sold
>> or gave away Albert's belongings; That you stole money from the business and
>> hid invoices; that you fraudulently obtained numerous credit cards by
>> forging Albert's signature, then secretly hid thousands of dollars in purchases on
>> these cards from him.
>> ( we have been legally advised that this warrants charges) Would you like
>> to see our proof ? Maybe it would help you face reality.
>> Of course I wasn't in your home when you and Albert were
>> approaching your separation, but I have a pretty good idea of what went on-After all
>> I had kept in contact with him during some of that time.I heard some of those
>> stories first hand and current. Also, the girls have since told me there
>> stories. I am aware of what Albert's feeling were for you. I'm also aware of
>> his and your behaviors at this time. I know about things you have done in
>> your past that you continue to lie about today.....Remeber when you punched
>> Albert in the face? Remember when you never told your children where you were
>> moving to? Remember when they asked you questions about their future you told
>> them to shut up? Remember when you had Laura caring for their needs because you
>> couldn't get off the computer and care for your children ? Remember when you
>> brainwashed Brandy into telling her Dad she didn't like me. Remember when you
>> told those two innocent young girls to give me "the finger" whenever
>> they saw me? Remember when you made up the story that I was stalking Brandy
>> at summer camp? Remember when you stole the deposits from the business and
>> left Albert with $6000 of unknown outstanding invoices? (Like I said, you are
>> demented.) you never admit your wrong doings - not even to yourself, the
>> person it would matter most to.
>> You think you can flee for 4 years, abandon your children and
>> suddenly step back into their lives and nothing should have changed. You are
>> such a fool ! This is 2005 ! you don't even know your children anymore. they
>> are no longer 8 and 11. Della's 15 years old now and she knows when you're
>> lying . Brandy is not an 8 yr old child anymore either. they are both far
>> more intelligent than you believe they are.Brandy doesn't remember " how mean
>> her dad was being" because it never happened; She knows this and so do you .
>> Albert (or I ) never planned to take the kids from you, nor did he steal the
>> house from you; The girls know this also and so do you. Nobody ever made you
>> leave your children, and I certainly never set out to take them . Who do you
>> think is going to believe that ? ! you live in your own little world where
>> the only truth is " Liz's word" and unfortunately for you, "Liz" is the only
>> believer. You need to wake up ! Albert and I talk to these girls regularly
>> about the things that have happened in the past and present and we tell them all
>> of the truth, all of the time . Your weekly five -minute artificial phone
>> conversations have no bearing on what they believe. I personally talk with the
>> girls about being honest about their feelings in an attempt to teach them that
>> it is ok to express themselves honestly no matter whom it concerns- that
>> includes you and me. Your past is catching up with you and your world is
>> beginning to crash down around you, because you refuse to accept the truth.
>> We do not trust anything you say or do. It's our job as parents
>> to protect our children from potential harm , and we view you as
>> potentially harmful. In case you don't know why we view you as such, here are a few (
>> just a few) reasons; you've lied to the girls in the past about why you left,
>> about things their father has done, about sending money for their birthday,
>> you continue to lie everytime you are confronted with a question from them,
>> you've stolen there money. you've made up totally fictitious stories about
>> their safety, you falsely accuse Albert and I of all kinds of ridiculous notions,
>> you sneak around the country hiding from your responsibilities, you don't
>> tell your children where you are. for years you don't bother to contact them
>> consistently, you don't think you should financially support them so you hide
>> from and lie to authorities. I could go on and on. Simply put - you are
>> untrustable in every way and I wouldn't allow these girls time alone with you any
>> more than I would allow them time alone with a stranger. I am protecting them.
>> Sorry if you have a problem with that, but I'm there parent and that is my
>> job. I will do my job as a parent .
>> If I were such a bad person how could you be so willing to leave
>> your children behind knowing they would be with me? You are more of a "nasty
>> women" than I could ever possibly be.When you choose to run away I took your
>> children in, I gave them a home, and I agreed to be involved in their lives
>> full time.I didn't have to do any of this. I did it for Albert and for the
>> girls - not for me, and certainly not for you ! I spent the first few years
>> after your departure giving you the benefit of the doubt and waiting for a
>> chance to form a cooperative relationship with you. I kept trying to explain and
>> excuse your leaving to the girls, Albert, and myself. I was open to the
>> possibility of eventually getting along with you.I was willing to meet you on a
>> collaborative level, but you were so belligerent it was hopeless. I continued to
>> wait for some kind of change from you.(stoplyingand/or become cooperative),
>> but I have since learned different and have given up the wait. You are an
>> evil, vindictive, cold-hearted women. You've spent your life mastering those
>> traits and you have them polished them to perfection so you can manipulate
>> everyone around you - husbands, in laws, children, and friends,etc. But you've
>> never dealt with Lori Dobson. I won't let you get away with it like your past
>> associates have.
>> You have no idea how your circumstances have changed in the last
>> four years or exactly where you stand now. Your information is seriously
>> outdated because you have spent the last four years running instead of facing the
>> facts. Do you think things have remained the same as they were in 2001 when you
>> left? - four years have gone by ! you cannot be that stupid ! Allow me to
>> enlighten you : you have no assets left from your life with Albert, you alone
>> are still tens of thousands of dollars in debt and creditors are looking for
>> you- and only you, you are no longer married, Law enforcement officials are
>> looking for you in a few states, and you are in arrears for child support
>> since may 2002. These are the facts . Face Them !
>> I am more of a mother to these girls than you are. I understand you
>> gave birth to them and feel justified in calling yourself mother. I agree.
>> but sincere mother is much more. That's where I come in. Like I have told you
>> in a previous letter, I do everything a mother should do for these girls. So
>> you need to understand that although I have not given birth to these girls. I
>> am a sincere mother to them. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but you
>> created its truth when you chose to desert your children leaving them behind
>> with Albert and me. Discarding your children may be normal and/or excusable
>> where you come from, but in my family it is wrong. and thanks to Albert and
>> me the girls will be raised to know this is not normal motherly behavior. Now,
>> I am here to help Albert by doing what's right. I'll make sure the girls
>> always know that you are their" birth mother" and what you have done for them.
>> I do not intend on trying to replace you- I couldn't , I don't have
>> what it takes to do that! However, I have already taken your place. I am
>> where you should have been.I have already I have already spent half as much time
>> raising these girls as you have and I don't intend to stop now. I am here
>> doing what needs to done for these children- being their caregiver and role
>> model. That's a mothers job. That's my job.you have made your choice- a
>> detrimental one- and however you choose to utilize your motherly instincts( if you
>> have any) from this point on is your business.But I am here to finish the job I
>> started.I made a commitment to be part of these children's lives and I plan
>> to stick with it.I don't intend to desert stepchildren and run from my
>> responsibilities.unlike you I am a devoted parent.
>> I am truly sorry for the things I have done to you and the
>> children. I have apologized for my part in the destruction of your family and mine.in
>> fact, I made apologies to everyone in my life( my children,My
>> ex-husband,parents,siblings,in-laws, and others.) including myself. I did this so I could
>> move forward . I have spent the last five years progressing and improving my
>> life for then. It has been a long journey , but I have moved far beyond that
>> point of my life,and I am able to hold my head up.
>> You need to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your
>> actions.and the choices you made in your life. You spent years ruining these
>> children( and Albert for that matter) long before I was ever in the picture.
>> They were so scared , confused, needy and insecure when I met them- because of
>> you! They may not realize it yet,but quite frankly, getting away from you is
>> probably one of the most advantageous things that ever happen to them in
>> terms of becoming the best they can be.Albert and I are working together to help
>> the girls grow in a more positive direction- to become confident,
>> responsible and independent.
>> over the last four years I have tried to
>> understand,explain,excuse,and tolerate your behavior, but now I am through. I will not allow you to make
>> fools out of these children anymore, nor am I going to let you do any harm to
>> them . Our goal is to raise healthy, responsible, and well adjusted children,
>> and at this point you are not a big part of the equation. Presently you may
>> continue to call here on Saturdays; honestly. We are currently willing to
>> tolerate it for the girls sake.But as you know, If you start trouble for either
>> of them ( mainly Brandy since Della chooses not to speak with you at this
>> point.) we will terminate the phone calls as we see fit. And in the future if
>> we feel your calls are becoming detrimental to their health( emotionally or
>> physiologically) we will put a stop to them altogether. Again, for their
>> protection !
>> You can attempt to form your own " physco support group " by calling
>> Denise ( or anyone else) and dragging her into the mix by crying about things
>> I say and do to you. I don't trust either of you. nor am I intimidated by
>> you. Trust me, I know your game and I don't play it. I am doing what's right
>> and I don't care what others think.
>> you couldn't find some integrity within yourself if you where offered money
>> for it. You are a liar ! You are a thief ! And a deadbeat ! I expect an am
>> prepared for more confrontations with you.
>>
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> Lori ( His Girlfriend or Wife)
>>
>> The next correspondence was the letter from the court in
>> pennsylvania telling me there is a hearing on dec 21st @ 3:15pm and I ca do this by
>> phone conference. I have no resources ands legal aid says at $8.95 an hr I make
>> too much money. the lawyers scatter like flies. PLEASE, PLEASE help me
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>
>

#21913 From: Anne <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:35 am
Subject: Re: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
 
"SLAPPs — Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation — are civil complaints or counterclaims (against either an individual or an organization) in which the alleged injury was the result of petitioning or free speech activities protected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. SLAPPs are often[but not always or required] brought by corporations, real estate developers, or government officials and entities against individuals who oppose them on public issues [AKA the father's rights industry]Typically, SLAPPs are based on ordinary civil tort claims such as defamation, conspiracy, and interference with prospective economic advantage."

PARENTING IS A FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT. A bargain on child support is not.
 
I was just wondering because if:
(a) you file a motion to modify support, 
(b) he retaliates with a whole army of father's rights advocates disguised as court appointed "assistance" seeking full custody,
 
Isn't the point of that to gain the economic advantage by bleeding you dry in order to interfere with your right to parent without interference from the government?
 
Would a SLAPP motion filed against an AFCC affiliated judge or the CRC call attention to the corruption problem if you could PROVE where the court's funding was?
 
It stops discovery in it's tracks upon filing the motion.
 
I am just curious because I have never seen it done before.
--- On Sat, 12/11/10, Lbe818@... <Lbe818@...> wrote:

From: Lbe818@... <Lbe818@...>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
To: rfs1215@..., FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:09 PM

This absolutely is the wrong motion to file in family court regarding PAS.  This is a special motion filed against someone who is litigating against your first amendment protection of free speech.
 
In a message dated 12/11/2010 3:21:01 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, rfs1215@... writes:
 
I was wondering if anyone had ever tried filing a SLAPP motion in response to this PAS garbage science? The purpose of asserting PAS is to bleed mothers dry and coerce them into giving up custody. The purpose is to SILENCE protective parents and abused children. Parenting is a constitutionally protected activity right? Since the court is maliciously prosecuting the case and selling your rights to GAL's, therapists, mediators, visitation centers, etc. during discovery, do you know anyone who has tried this? What about if you are the defendant in counterclaims? I am curious to see if anyone can share their experiences.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation

"A strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP) is a lawsuit that is intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.[1]

The typical SLAPP plaintiff does not normally expect to win the lawsuit. The plaintiff's goals are accomplished if the defendant succumbs to fear, intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the criticism. A SLAPP may also intimidate others from participating in the debate. A SLAPP is often preceded by a legal threat....To win an anti-SLAPP motion, the defendant must first show that the lawsuit is based on constitutionally protected activity. Then, the burden shifts to the plaintiff, to affirmatively present evidence to show that they have a reasonable probability of prevailing on the action. The filing of an anti-SLAPP motion stays all discovery. This feature acts to greatly reduce the cost of litigation to the anti-SLAPP defendant, and can make beating the motion extremely difficult for the plaintiff, because they effectively must prove their case without the benefit of discovery."

Here is the definitions of



#21914 From: Anne <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:36 am
Subject: Re: Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
Absolutely. WHich is why I want to know about how other people deal with it and how thier cases are handled, and know that their kids are ok.

--- On Sat, 12/11/10, Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...> wrote:

From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
To: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:12 PM

You know it is not just CA or FL it is all over the country
On Dec 11, 2010 9:57 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
> UPDATE PLEASE.
>
> As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
>
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, JUSTICEforADJANI@... wrote:
>>
>> Dear Advocate groups,
>> My post are being "bounced back to me" I hope you get this, long but VIP
>> Plea of help from
>> another grieving Parent "not from FL but also, caught up in FL abusive
>> process and FL lies.
>> I appreciate any help or support you can give, this mother. Denied visits,
>> monitored calls, Threatened, You might as well get use to this,because is not
>> about to change. Same threat
>> as me, my introduction, to brutal FL system. Thank you! Sila,
>> JUSTICEforADJANI
>>
>> Dear Elizabeth,
>> Thank you for contacting me. I relate well to your pain. I'm very sorry you
>> had to go thru the
>> E-N-D-L-E-S-S "fl" Abusive process injustice. Our cases mirrors the violence
>> and tragedy. I am Fwd your story to Advocate for support; given my humble
>> means. I'd refer you to groups
>> in your area but, I question their effectiveness due to silence. Feel free
>> to write any time,
>> you do not walk alone! STRENGTH COMES IN UNION...blessings, "Sila"
>> _http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html_
>> (http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html)
>>
>> Forwarded Message:
>> Subj: Fw: please help Date: 10/27/2005 9:35:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
>> From: _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...) To:
>> _ibuy.1@..._ (mailto:ibuy.1@...) , _cj7scrambler@..._
>> (mailto:cj7scrambler@...) , _nativeamerican252003@..._
>> (mailto:nativeamerican252003@...) , _jacqueline614@..._ (mailto:jacqueline614@...) ,
>> _adjanisila@..._ (mailto:adjanisila@...) , _ONEDAV1FL@..._
>> (mailto:ONEDAV1FL@...) Sent from the Internet _(Details)_
>> (aolmsg://01975be0/inethdr/2)
>>
>>
>> Is there a way you can help me with what is going on in my life .I seem to
>> have no rights. please read the letter below and see if you can help I have
>> tried everything including writing to the white house with no luck. tell me
>> because he has money and I don't this is fair. Is there anybody out there that
>> can help me. Any advise or agency recommendation would be appreciated
>>
>>
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>> 1250 Woodcrest Drive
>> Daytona Beach,Fl 32114
>> _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...)
>> 386-569-9394
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I am enclosing some details of what I am going through. I can find no help
>> with Lawyers or anywhere I turn I have even wrote to the white house.
>> Presently I am one step away from losing anything I might have. I seem to have no
>> rights what so ever and the court is listening to someone who has abused me,
>> drugs and kept me away from having any bond with my children.you are my last
>> hope.
>>
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>> P.S. I Have tried everything
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I am not sure what to write here but I can only give you the truth.
>>
>> I left pennsylvania in feb 2001 to visit my daughter in Va to get away from
>> a terrible situtation at home where my ex was harassing me and threatening to
>> kill me because I found his drugs and took pictures of it and showed his
>> family. this started in august because I found out about his affair with the
>> women he is with now.
>>
>> my youngest daughter had described a pill box that he had some white powder
>> in and a straw.she also described small white pills. his family didn't
>> beleive me but went right to him he came home from work and was over me by the
>> sink he had the look of a crazed person in his eyes. he told me he was going to
>> kill me for what I had done.he went to hit me and I pushed and slapped him.
>> he called the police and said he was abused by me. when they got there they
>> had me in the living room with my children while he was in the kitchen with
>> the other officer which he had known.I told the officer what had happened and
>> he could arrest me if he wanted to but I was defending myself. I told him how
>> my daughter had seen the drugs and he looked me right in the eye and said"
>> maam we are not here for that" they never asked him to empty his pockets or to
>> even leave. they told me I should take the children and leave the premises.I
>> told the officer "no this is my home and I have no where to take the children
>> " he told me he could not make him leave the home. when they left I put the
>> kids to bed and stayed away from him . he threatened me again and I locked
>> myself in the bedroom and called domestic violence hotline where I was on the
>> phone with them half the night.I did not sleep that night in fear he would
>> break the door down and kill me. there was violence in the past and I knew he
>> had guns in the basement.
>>
>> the next morning I told him he had to leave I could not live like this . he
>> packed and left.I didn't know he had called the ultilities and was having
>> them shut off the end of the month.I found out when the electric company had
>> called the house and asked if I wanted the electric to continue in my name.they
>> had explained that he called them to terminate service so I called all the
>> other ultilities and found out he had done the same.I had copied the books in
>> the store showing all his income and had them hidden between the mattresses
>> of my bed along with the pictures. he got into the house while I was at the
>> store and took them.he told me he would use the pictures against me now.he
>> would have everything and I would be homeless he wanted the house sold and me out
>> of it and that he would have the children and I am going to wind up with
>> nothing.he then took the checkbook for the business and had it at his mothers
>> house it was at this point I no longer went into the store. he came over to the
>> house yelling that I had to run the store and I told him I didn't .I was not
>> going to sit there and not be able to have any money to live I had to go get
>> a job. I went and applied in over 30 places with no answer until I had a
>> friend call the store and say I was applying for a job and they wanted a
>> reference for me. he had his mother sitting in there selling carpet and she told
>> them I was a totally untrustworthy that I had stole money from the business and
>> I should not be hired.
>>
>> I told him I wanted child and spousal support he said he wanted it legal and
>> I better do it quick so I went to the courthouse and filled out the papers.
>> the hearing was in jan of 2001. he was served with the papers and came to the
>> house in a rage . I told him I did what you asked me to do. he reversed
>> everything and said he never told me to do this.he said I will never get spousal
>> support and I will never be able to fight him with no money.I told him the
>> only one he is hurting is the children. he told me he will have the children and
>> she will be there mother.I asked him to leave he again threatened to harm me
>> and I told him I would call the police. he told to go ahead they think your
>> crazy anyway remember I grew up in this town and I can do what I want to you
>> and you have no one to turn to.he started breaking into the house when I
>> wasn't there and the police said because his name is on the deed there is nothing
>> I can do he has every right to enter the home even though he doesn't live
>> there.
>>
>> I went to several lawyers and they told me that this was an involved case and
>> a few turned it down because they didn't have the time to give it.I found
>> one that took it and wanted 800.00 up front I gave it to him and he did nothing
>> .when it came time for the hearing he told me I didn't need him there it was
>> just support and I will get what I was asking for which I didn't.when my
>> husband filed for divorce Ihad told my lawyer I to sue on grounds of adultry he
>> told me not to do that to let him pay for the divorce because I wouldn't have
>> the money to pay for it myself I looked at this lawyer and asked what I had
>> paid for which he told me the his time. meanwhile my husband refused to pay
>> any of the bills which amounted to 2,000 a month.he said I would have to find
>> a way they are all in my name and he don't have to pay for a thing anymore.my
>> children told me to use there savings accounts because they hasd seen me
>> crying and talking to my older daughter about not knowing what Iw as gonna do
>> and christmas was here and I had nothing for the kids.I did the best I could at
>> that point.
>>
>> in jan my son in law came to send a few days with me and he had seen what he
>> was doing. he had broken in again and took most of the things in the
>> basement and the lawn mower and some rugs that where stored in there.I called the
>> police and they still wouldn't do anything ebven though he has been out of the
>> house since august they refuseed to do anything.all I could do at this time
>> was cry.I finally had to use the childrens savings to pay what I could of the
>> bills and the car so it wouldn't get taken for not paying it off. I had come
>> to the end of my rope. I had told my son in law if things go bad with the
>> hearing I would have no choice but to let him have the kids so they have a roof
>> over there head.I wa told to write a statement that it would be temporary
>> until I found a place to live. I wrote it up and gave it to my daughter to bring
>> to the lawyer because everything went wrong at the hearing. first he claimed
>> all he made was 12,000 for the year.I tried to tell them it was a lie but
>> the hearings officer didn't want to hear it.I had asked for spousal support and
>> his lawyer said that I may be a bigamist and I couldn't beleive it.the
>> hearing officer just threw it aside.he determined that I was to get 34.00 a week
>> per child I told him that was crazy and that I would let my children live with
>> my ex until I got on my feet. again I was told to write it out and send it
>> to my lawyer to have a copy sent to my ex. which the lawyer received that
>> afternoon.which they claim they never got.
>>
>> He took the children (which I thought maybe he would see what he was doing
>> and stop but he didn't) I had my older daughter there because I couldn't be
>> there when he took them I would have probably been put in jail so I made sure I
>> was not there .after they were gone I came home I felt like my heart was
>> ripped out.the next day I left and went to Virginia.I told my older daughter to
>> take my furniture and things bring them to her house and store them in her
>> basement and attic until I find a place to live.I figured I had better get
>> out of the house because I felt Iw as in real danger now without the children
>> there with me.
>>
>> I arrived at my daughters in virginia late that evening, spent some time
>> with my grandchildren the next day and was feeling a little better.the following
>> day my daughter back in pa called and said that he broke the door in on the
>> house and changed all the locks.so now I was really homeless.I left my
>> daughters the next day and didn't know where I was gonna go but couldn't stay with
>> her becaause Iw as not got be a burden on my child like that.so I came to
>> florida to spend some time with friends that use to live near us in pa.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> When I Came to Florida i stayed with friends from back home that had moved
>> down here. they found me a room to rent for 35.00 aweek and I found a job
>> waitressing. I I was or thought I was talking with my children with e mail but
>> it just didn't seem like the way they would answer They thought I was in texas
>> and it had to be that way so he wouldn't find me.they where always asking
>> where I was and that I was taking there father to court.I didn't know what they
>> meant until I recieved papers in the last week of april of 2001 saying he
>> wanted to sell the house and get custody of the children.the hearing was on the
>> 14th of may there was no way I could do anything in such little time.I wrote
>> the court telling them I objected to the selling of the house by the realtor
>> he was choosing because she was a close family friend and would not be
>> honest about the sale it went though anyway I also protested the custody but got
>> nowhere with that either he wa allowed to sell the house without me and the
>> court gave him full custody of the children and Iw as to recieve supervised
>> visitation but a person of his choice.. This was crazy I did nothing wrong but
>> yet evrything was being taken away.
>>
>> he harassed mty daughter until she gave him my furniture and I recieved a
>> envelope with pictures of our wedding and some old pictures from an album my
>> daughter was keeping for me. I guess this was to let me know he had my
>> stuff.what she had told me was he wouldn't leave her alone and had the cops at her
>> door and showed receipts for the items that I hold the bills for now. I had
>> wrote his lawyer and told him I wanted fifty percent of everything in the
>> marriage including the business. I had also wanted it stated that I could resume
>> the use of my maiden name.I made a list of the things he had taken from my
>> Daughter and my personal belongings that he had taken I also told the lawyer
>> that mr.Dobson knew exactly where I was and lied about not knowing my where
>> abouts because I know these friends I stayed with called him and he had sent me
>> that envelope with his return address on it..I never heard from his attorney
>> again. I wrote him again and wanted to know what was going on with the divorce
>> and again stating what I wanted from the divorce settlement and that I
>> wanted alimony. I still got no response he had also had my daughter brandy call
>> collect which I couldn't accept because this was not my phone or home.he also
>> gave someone the number because I got a call threatening me about the bills
>> that where owed and how I was going to jail for them.there were two men on the
>> phone and they told me the police were on the way and I would be arrested.the
>> people I wa staying with were not happy that he was doing this with there
>> number and had to have it changed and unpublished so it would stop.I didn't
>> call there because I felt it would only cause trouble for the children.I tried
>> on christmas but he would not let me speak to them.then in I believe it was
>> july of 2003. the sheriff was at the home trying to serve me with papers. I
>> called the sheriff to pick up the papers and it was for support of the
>> children.to be held in flagler county court. I moved in with a girlfriend because I
>> felt I was causing these people trouble.I went and got an attorney to represent
>> me and they awarded him no support. My daughter Brandy was writing me and
>> telling me she missed and loved me. I was afraid to answer her letters because
>> nothing I sent was getting to them I was writing and sending them to my older
>> Daughters home until he found out and whatever he said to her.she would not
>> accept the letters anymore and I haven't heard from here since.I had sent
>> these girls cards for christmas and there birthdays and they never recived them
>> and he claims I never sent them so I stopped sending them.
>>
>> Feeling like a drifter and nowhere to go I rented a trailer in bunnell
>> where I lived by myself. I never changed my post office box so I could get the
>> letters from my Daughter.in one letter she had said they where in florida on
>> vacation .they knew where bunnell was but not where I lived. I thought he
>> could have wrote and told me he would be here and where I could meet to see the
>> children but I was told after the fact of them being here. I wrote the lawyer
>> again asking again about the divorce and the settlement but he never answered
>> again. I moved to Daytona in june of 2004. I gave the children my address
>> and hoped for the best within a few months the sheriff was at my door again
>> serving me with papers for support. this time I called and tried to talk to him
>> and explained I have no money and its more important for the children to have
>> a relationship with me. I am there mother and want to be a part of there
>> life .he told me I have no right to my children that the court took my rights
>> away.that lori is there mother and she will make all the decisions concerning
>> my children.I told him I am there mother and he has kept me away too long.he
>> told me that I owed him for tools that where in the basement I told him he
>> broke into the home two days after I left and I had no idea what happen to his
>> tools they where in the basement.he wasn't concerned about talking about the
>> children just his things and I told him after about thirty minutes of his none
>> stop ranting that I called to talk to him about the girls not his
>> belongings.I was told he will keep me away from them and I will never saee them again
>> they hate me and he has told them how crazy I am and how I don't want anything
>> to do with them.I asked him how he can hurt these children like this .his
>> response was he nots hurting them he's in charge and it will be his way and
>> there is no talking I have no legal right to the children. I told him I didn't
>> want to fight with him I just want a relationship with my children. that we
>> don't have to be enemies for I did nothing wrong and he must stop this for the
>> sake of the children. he finally said he didn't care if I gave him twenty
>> dollars a week.I told him I wanted to talk to the girls on the phone.he told me
>> to call on saturday.
>>
>> PHONE CALLS TO GIRLS
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Sept 17 2004 -
>> Spoke with Albert regarding support Hearing He told me that he did not care
>> if it was 20 dollars a week as long as I paid something. I explained my
>> financial hardships and his unwillingness to work with me with the girls. I told
>> him I wanted to speak with my children, that I would call Saturday morning. He
>> told me they are not available.
>> Sept 20 2004 -
>> Spoke with Albert again to confirm agreement for 20 wkly. He told me he was
>> waiting to hear from his caseworker about this. I tried to explain to him how
>> its not healthy for the children not to have a relationship with me and how
>> this was only suppose to be a temporary arrangement and I will be apart of
>> their lives. He told me I could speak with them on sat 9/25/2005, that I should
>> call the store. Told him I will call at 10:00 am.
>> Sept 25 2004 -
>> I called the store at 10:00 am. He then proceeded to tell me about things he
>> was missing. I explained to him that I had no idea where his stuff was
>> because Mary was taking care of storing my belongings and was told to leave his
>> tools alone. If he was missing anything, he should speak with her. He also made
>> me aware that he got most of the stuff from Mary. I also told him that he
>> broke the door in on Feb 3rd and changed all the locks so I could not re enter
>> and took the cable box and anything else that was still in the home. I also
>> told him that he must return the box to the cable company. He said I would
>> have to prove that he has it He also told me “I told you that you would be
>> homeless and penniless as you can see I meant it†. He went on for approx 30
>> minutes about how he will not pay any bills because they are in my name and he owes
>> me nothing. He also told me that he would take what he can from me and I
>> cannot stop him, because I cannot afford to stop it and as long as he keeps me
>> in this position, he wins. I told him that once he gets over his guilt of
>> adultery maybe then he would stop projecting his anger at me. He went on and on
>> about how everything is his and I am not getting anything from him. I told him
>> I did not call to talk about his issues but to speak with my children. We
>> can be friends for the sake of the girls. I do not want to argue. Then he
>> finally told me the girls where not there but at home and I should call there. I
>> said I hope we can be friends because I do not want to call and argue just
>> speak with my girls.
>> Sept 25 2004 -
>> I called the girls at his girlfriend’s home. She answered and put me on
>> speakerphone before putting the girls on. I spoke with both of them. I told them
>> I loved them and missed them. They told me the same. I promised the both of
>> them I would call every Saturday morning at 10:00 am. The girls said yes they
>> would like that and they would be there for my call.
>> Oct 2 2004-
>> I called Ardella and Brandy at 10:00 am at the girlfriend’s house. I got the
>> answering machine so I left a message telling the girls I called as I
>> promised and would call next week at the same time.
>> Oct 2 2004-
>> I called the store Albert answered and I asked why the girls where not there
>> for my call, I had told them I would be calling today. He told me Ardella
>> was in New York and Lori (his girlfriend) took Brandy to her sister’s house. I
>> informed him that the girls want to speak with me. He told me I have no legal
>> right to the children. I told him I would call back next week.
>> Oct 9 2004 -
>> I called at 10:00 am to speak with the girls .I got answering machine again
>> so I left a message addressed to the girls telling them I called and will call
>> next week at the same time.
>> Oct 9 2004-
>> I called the store to find out where the girls were. I got answering machine
>> there also, so I left a message “I said I will be calling the girls again
>> next week at 10:00 am like agreed with children†.
>> Oct 16 2004 -
>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori (his girlfriend) answered. I finally spoke with
>> Brandy. I wished her a happy birthday and told her I love and miss her. I
>> asked where she was the last two weeks. She told me that on 10/2 she had to go
>> with Lori and missed talking with me. On 10/9 her father took her them camping.
>> We talked for a while she told me she wishes I was there with her. She said
>> this very low because she is on the speakerphone. Brandy also spoke about her
>> friends and school. I asked to speak with Ardella but Brandy said she was
>> not there. I told Brandy that I loved her and to tell Ardella I love her and
>> miss them both and I will call next week.
>> Oct 23 2004-
>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there. I spoke with
>> Ardella . She spoke about school and being in the band. She told me Brandy was over
>> a girlfriend’s house and she was going to dad’s store. I told her I love
>> her and to tell Brandy I called and tell her I love them and miss them both
>> very much. Told Ardella I will call next week.
>> Oct 30 2004-
>> I called Ardella and Brandy At 10:00 am .I was put on speakerphone by Lori.
>> I spoke with Brandy. She told me how her costume for Halloween was a
>> hillbilly and that she would be going trick or treating. She told me she did not want
>> to go to school there next year because she will be going to a new school
>> (annex I assumed). I told her she has nothing to worry about all her old
>> friends will be there with her. Brandy told me she wants to see me. I told her I
>> want to see her and maybe soon we can see each other. Ardella was not there so
>> I told Brandy I loved them both and to tell ardella I called. Brandy told me
>> she loved and missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. I told her I
>> would talk to her next week.
>> Nov 6 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she told me that she is
>> sick. We talked about school for a little bit. I told her I love and miss
>> her. I spoke with Ardella she told me about school and playing her instrument
>> in the band at school. I told her I love her and miss her and will talk with
>> them again next week.
>> Nov 13 2004-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am I was told by Lori that the girls were
>> unavailable.
>> Nov 20 2004-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about school
>> and things she was doing. She told me about her trip to Maryland. She seemed
>> very quiet and careful about what she was saying. I asked for Ardella but
>> Brandy said she was sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love her and miss her.
>> I asked Brandy to send pictures. She said she would. I told her I loved her
>> and missed her and I will talk to her next week.
>> Nov 27 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori answered and told me they were not
>> there. Asked where they were but got no response.
>> Dec 3 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy, she told me it was cold
>> there and we talked about a little general stuff. She told me she loved and
>> missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. She told me her father said
>> she could take piano lessons after the New Year. I told her that was good and I
>> hope she will enjoy that. She sounded happy about it. I asked for Ardella
>> but she would not come to the phone said she was tired and laying down. I told
>> Brandy to tell her I love her and miss them both and I will talk to them next
>> week.
>> Dec 11 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that they were not there.
>> Dec 11 2004 -
>> I called the store. Albert answered; I asked if the girls were there. He
>> told me no. I asked where they were. His answer was; it is none of my business.
>> I told him they are my children and I promised them I would call every week.
>> He told me I have no legal right to the children and I will never get them
>> back. I did not see where this call was doing any good so I asked him to come
>> to an agreement on the support. He told me I have a legal responsibility to
>> support them. I told him I have a legal responsibility to be there mother. He
>> told me there mother is with them and I will never get them back. I hung up.
>> Dec 18 2004 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She talked about school,
>> her grades, and that she was doing really well. She went on to tell me that
>> where she is living none of her friends are not around and she does not like the
>> weekends because she has nothing to do there. She did not sound happy at
>> all. Ardella was sleeping again so I told her to tell her I love her and miss
>> her. Told brandy I love and miss her and will talk with her next week.
>> Dec 25 2004 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I wished them both a very merry Christmas
>> and told them I will call again next week.
>> Jan 1 2005 -
>> I called at 10:00 am. Albert answered and said they were both in bed
>> sleeping. I told him to tell them I called and will call next week.
>> Jan 8 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy. She told me about her
>> Christmas vacation and Ardella’s birthday party and New Years Eve party they
>> had at the house. We talked about school and her grades. I told her as long
>> as she does her best no one could ask for more. She told me that on Saturdays
>> she cleans her room. I asked for Ardella but she said she was upstairs
>> sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love and miss her and†hopefully “next week
>> she will be up so I can talk with her. I told Brandy that I love and miss her
>> and will talk to her next week.
>> Jan 15 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. We talked about when she
>> was younger and her about memories of things we did together then. She was
>> happy talking about these things. She told me she was going to the youth group at
>> the church we use to go to together but they not taken there any longer on
>> Sundays. She told me she would be getting her report card on the 31st. I told
>> her that she probably did great. I asked her about her friends and she told
>> me she has not been able to be with them for a while she also said there is
>> nothing to do there. I asked for Ardella but she said she was sleeping. I told
>> her I love her and we started playing “I love you more†and she laughed. I
>> told her that even though I am not there nothing has changed and I still love
>> her with all my heart. She told me she still loved me with all her heart too.
>> She told me about her scrapbook where she looks at the pictures she has of
>> all of us. I told her that was good and they are good memories to have. I told
>> her to tell Ardella I love and miss her and will call again next week.
>> Jan 22 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy about school. She told
>> me it was snowing and that they could get about a foot before it stops. She
>> talked about her best friend Kendra that she has known since she was 4 yrs
>> old. I told her I was very glad she still has Kendra as her best friend. She
>> talked about things the two of them did together when they were younger. I asked
>> for Ardella but she was in bed sleeping. I told her to tell Ardella I love
>> and miss her. I told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next
>> week.
>> Jan 29 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were not there.
>> Feb 5 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori said they were not available to take
>> calls.
>> Feb 12 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She was not talkative
>> like usual. It was very brief she said there was nothing new. She seemed very
>> uneasy and cautious. I spoke with Ardella and the same very quiet and
>> non-talkative. I told them I loved them and will call next week.
>> Feb 19 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were unavailable.
>> Feb 26 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me they were not available.
>> March 5 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy she was upset and Lori
>> was yelling in the background “ask her why she Left†. Brandy then asked (I
>> could tell she was crying) why did you leave. I told her when she is ready she
>> can come here sit down with me and I will tell her everything she needs to
>> know. By that time, Lori got on the phone yelling at me to tell her. I told
>> Lori that I call to talk to my children not her. She called me a liar. I told
>> her to leave me alone she has no idea what went on in my home. She said she
>> knows everything. She called me a lousy bitch. Therefore, I told her she was a
>> home wrecker and a slut. I should not have but I did. She made remarks about
>> me being a lousy mother and I told her she could never be a mother to my
>> children because I will always be there mother. She told me that she is there
>> mother. I told her she will never be there mother and they are my children. I
>> told her again I do not call to talk to her but to my children. Lori put Ardella
>> on and she told me she does not want to talk to me when I call. I could tell
>> she was upset. Brandy got on now I could hear her crying. She told me she
>> loved me. I asked her if she wanted me to keep calling. She said yes that she
>> loves me and wants to talk to me (she was crying while saying this to me). At
>> this point, I thought it best to end the call. I told brandy that I love her
>> and will talk to her next week. I do not know what that woman is trying to do
>> but I refuse to be a part of her little games especially with my children. I
>> felt Ardella and Brandy are being used and that is just not fair to them. I
>> do not want them to be hurt like that.
>> March 11 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she also spoke about her
>> project in school and how her partner for this was a bad boy in her class she
>> was also telling about the bad kids in her class and how it bothers her. She
>> asked me if I was mad at her because of last week. I explained to her that I
>> was not mad and when she is ready she can come to Florida and we can sit and
>> talk about everything and I can then show her all the legal papers So she can
>> understand everything and make her own decision and judgment when she has all
>> the facts. I also told her that I call to speak with her about what is going
>> on in her life and how she is doing. I do not call to argue with anyone. I
>> told her it is ok that Ardella do not want to talk to me and maybe in time
>> that will change. I told her to tell Ardella that I love her and miss her. I
>> told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>> March 19 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me that she has a
>> cold. We talked about school and a few other things. I told her to tell
>> Ardella that I love her and miss her. She was not feeling well so I told her I
>> love her and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>> March 26 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there.
>> April 2 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine, so I left a message
>> for Brandy telling he I loved her and that I will call next week.
>> April 9 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me she made high
>> honors on her report card. I told her I knew she could do it because she is
>> smart. I asked her where she was the last couple of weeks. She told me that two
>> weeks ago, she was at Laura’s house and Last week she had to go with Lori to
>> her daycare center to help put in carpet. She also said this week she has to
>> wash Lori’s car. I told her I loved her and missed her and to tell Ardella I
>> love and miss her too. She told me she loves and misses me.
>> April 16 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that brandy was unavailable.
>> April 23 2005-
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori again told me that she was unavailable.
>> April 30 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy I asked her where she
>> was the last couple of weeks. She told me that they took her camping and she
>> was at Laura’s house. I told her that when she is not there I leave a message
>> on the answering machine so she will know I called when she is not there. She
>> spoke about being in the band, softball and her first practice, her friends,
>> and upcoming events. I told her I love her and miss her and to tell Ardella I
>> love and miss her too. I told her I would call next week.
>> May 7 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about
>> softball practice and her first game on Monday night. She told me she was doing well
>> in school. She seemed happy today. I asked about Ardella . She told me that
>> Ardella was going on a trip to king’s dominion in VA She talked about Kendra
>> and Laura. She told me all about her sunflowers that she was growing and that
>> she would be going on a trip to Washington DC on June 1st. I told her to
>> tell Ardella that I love and miss her very much. I told Brandy I love and miss
>> her too. I told her I would call again next week. She said in a low voice “
>> happy mother’s day I love you†. I said thank you sweetheart.
>> May 14 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00am. I got the answering machine and left a
>> message telling brandy I loved her and will call again next week.
>> May 21 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine again and left
>> message for Brandy letting her know I called and will call again next week.
>> May 28 2005 -
>> I called the girls, the message on the answering machine was about a job in
>> the paper, and then it said, “Liz, we don’t have time for your five minute
>> phone calls. I recorded this and left a message that I called and that I
>> recorded this message.
>> June 4 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not allowed to
>> talk to me because her phone privileges have been taken away. I was not going
>> to argue so I hung up.
>> June 11 2005 -
>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not there. She was
>> laughing and had a high pitch sound like a fire alarm blarring into the
>> phone. (I did not appreciate this and feel she did not like Brandy wishing me a
>> happy mother’s day so this is the punishment). I do not want my children hurt
>> for speaking there feelings to me.
>> June 18 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine and left a
>> message for brandy telling her I loved and missed and will call again next week.
>> June 25 2005 -
>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that I am not allowed to speak
>> with brandy anymore. I hung up.
>> This was the last time I called because I do not want my children being hurt
>> emotionally by what this woman is doing to them.
>> when the hearing for support was held in jan I didn't have legal
>> representation beause I can't afford it.they asked all the usual questions and I spoke
>> to the judge and told her about the drug use and how he sold the house and
>> won't let me know what it amount it sold for was .I told her how he refuses to
>> pay any of the marital bills because he said there all in my name. how I was a
>> partneer in the business and did the day to day activity with the business,
>> that he claimed I was a bigamist and the spousal support was thrown aside.
>> that I felt Iw as supporting the children already by what I was not recieving
>> from him. I also told him I love my children but am refused the right to have
>> anything to do with them or a say in how they are brought up. I also stated
>> that I do not want to support my children . I want my children with me. the
>> case was dismissed and no support awarded to him. they also wanted a financial
>> statement which he would not provide.
>> I received a letter in the mail a few weeks later which I have
>> enclosed below:
>>
>>
>>
>> I received this letter in the mail.Dated June 1, 2005 I have sent this to
>> you word for word.
>>
>> Liz,
>> As Albert's wife and current acting mother to the girls, I feel
>> the need to express a few things to you. I am a full time mother to Della and
>> Brandy, and frankly, my opinion concerning their upbringing and well being
>> is more significant than yours. Albert and I share the decision making. I form
>> judgments based on the information I collect from my life experiences,
>> therefore I feel justified in saying the following.
>> We are doing you a favor by allowing you a phone visit with the
>> girls. you abandoned your children and have no legal visitation ( or custody)
>> from Florida. you know all those court documents and papers you say you have?
>> ... try reading them ! the court order states that Albert has full legal and
>> physical custody of the girls. There are No visitations listed for because
>> you are gone.Albert works on Saturdays so has obviously chosen me as the
>> supervisor for your phone calls so I will monitor every conversation . I hear
>> everything you say.Albert and I agree this necessary for the girls protection.(
>> because we feel you are demented). You might as well get use to this,because
>> at this point is not about to change. Record the phone calls if you chose; we
>> have nothing to hide or be afraid of.
>> Where's the proof you keep talking about to support your stories?
>> Let's see it ! If you really want to prove your honesty, Why wait ? Show the
>> proof now. Prove everything you're telling the kids. Prove that Albert stole
>> the house from you! Prove that he "took" everything from you ! prove that I
>> wanted your children ! Make some copies of your "papers" and send them here. You
>> know there is no proof of your lies ! I have taken time to show and explain
>> our entire file of court documents to the girls. We have all our proof :
>> Proof that you abandoned your children and took their money; That you willingly
>> walked away from your house and the responsibilities; That you illegally sold
>> or gave away Albert's belongings; That you stole money from the business and
>> hid invoices; that you fraudulently obtained numerous credit cards by
>> forging Albert's signature, then secretly hid thousands of dollars in purchases on
>> these cards from him.
>> ( we have been legally advised that this warrants charges) Would you like
>> to see our proof ? Maybe it would help you face reality.
>> Of course I wasn't in your home when you and Albert were
>> approaching your separation, but I have a pretty good idea of what went on-After all
>> I had kept in contact with him during some of that time.I heard some of those
>> stories first hand and current. Also, the girls have since told me there
>> stories. I am aware of what Albert's feeling were for you. I'm also aware of
>> his and your behaviors at this time. I know about things you have done in
>> your past that you continue to lie about today.....Remeber when you punched
>> Albert in the face? Remember when you never told your children where you were
>> moving to? Remember when they asked you questions about their future you told
>> them to shut up? Remember when you had Laura caring for their needs because you
>> couldn't get off the computer and care for your children ? Remember when you
>> brainwashed Brandy into telling her Dad she didn't like me. Remember when you
>> told those two innocent young girls to give me "the finger" whenever
>> they saw me? Remember when you made up the story that I was stalking Brandy
>> at summer camp? Remember when you stole the deposits from the business and
>> left Albert with $6000 of unknown outstanding invoices? (Like I said, you are
>> demented.) you never admit your wrong doings - not even to yourself, the
>> person it would matter most to.
>> You think you can flee for 4 years, abandon your children and
>> suddenly step back into their lives and nothing should have changed. You are
>> such a fool ! This is 2005 ! you don't even know your children anymore. they
>> are no longer 8 and 11. Della's 15 years old now and she knows when you're
>> lying . Brandy is not an 8 yr old child anymore either. they are both far
>> more intelligent than you believe they are.Brandy doesn't remember " how mean
>> her dad was being" because it never happened; She knows this and so do you .
>> Albert (or I ) never planned to take the kids from you, nor did he steal the
>> house from you; The girls know this also and so do you. Nobody ever made you
>> leave your children, and I certainly never set out to take them . Who do you
>> think is going to believe that ? ! you live in your own little world where
>> the only truth is " Liz's word" and unfortunately for you, "Liz" is the only
>> believer. You need to wake up ! Albert and I talk to these girls regularly
>> about the things that have happened in the past and present and we tell them all
>> of the truth, all of the time . Your weekly five -minute artificial phone
>> conversations have no bearing on what they believe. I personally talk with the
>> girls about being honest about their feelings in an attempt to teach them that
>> it is ok to express themselves honestly no matter whom it concerns- that
>> includes you and me. Your past is catching up with you and your world is
>> beginning to crash down around you, because you refuse to accept the truth.
>> We do not trust anything you say or do. It's our job as parents
>> to protect our children from potential harm , and we view you as
>> potentially harmful. In case you don't know why we view you as such, here are a few (
>> just a few) reasons; you've lied to the girls in the past about why you left,
>> about things their father has done, about sending money for their birthday,
>> you continue to lie everytime you are confronted with a question from them,
>> you've stolen there money. you've made up totally fictitious stories about
>> their safety, you falsely accuse Albert and I of all kinds of ridiculous notions,
>> you sneak around the country hiding from your responsibilities, you don't
>> tell your children where you are. for years you don't bother to contact them
>> consistently, you don't think you should financially support them so you hide
>> from and lie to authorities. I could go on and on. Simply put - you are
>> untrustable in every way and I wouldn't allow these girls time alone with you any
>> more than I would allow them time alone with a stranger. I am protecting them.
>> Sorry if you have a problem with that, but I'm there parent and that is my
>> job. I will do my job as a parent .
>> If I were such a bad person how could you be so willing to leave
>> your children behind knowing they would be with me? You are more of a "nasty
>> women" than I could ever possibly be.When you choose to run away I took your
>> children in, I gave them a home, and I agreed to be involved in their lives
>> full time.I didn't have to do any of this. I did it for Albert and for the
>> girls - not for me, and certainly not for you ! I spent the first few years
>> after your departure giving you the benefit of the doubt and waiting for a
>> chance to form a cooperative relationship with you. I kept trying to explain and
>> excuse your leaving to the girls, Albert, and myself. I was open to the
>> possibility of eventually getting along with you.I was willing to meet you on a
>> collaborative level, but you were so belligerent it was hopeless. I continued to
>> wait for some kind of change from you.(stoplyingand/or become cooperative),
>> but I have since learned different and have given up the wait. You are an
>> evil, vindictive, cold-hearted women. You've spent your life mastering those
>> traits and you have them polished them to perfection so you can manipulate
>> everyone around you - husbands, in laws, children, and friends,etc. But you've
>> never dealt with Lori Dobson. I won't let you get away with it like your past
>> associates have.
>> You have no idea how your circumstances have changed in the last
>> four years or exactly where you stand now. Your information is seriously
>> outdated because you have spent the last four years running instead of facing the
>> facts. Do you think things have remained the same as they were in 2001 when you
>> left? - four years have gone by ! you cannot be that stupid ! Allow me to
>> enlighten you : you have no assets left from your life with Albert, you alone
>> are still tens of thousands of dollars in debt and creditors are looking for
>> you- and only you, you are no longer married, Law enforcement officials are
>> looking for you in a few states, and you are in arrears for child support
>> since may 2002. These are the facts . Face Them !
>> I am more of a mother to these girls than you are. I understand you
>> gave birth to them and feel justified in calling yourself mother. I agree.
>> but sincere mother is much more. That's where I come in. Like I have told you
>> in a previous letter, I do everything a mother should do for these girls. So
>> you need to understand that although I have not given birth to these girls. I
>> am a sincere mother to them. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but you
>> created its truth when you chose to desert your children leaving them behind
>> with Albert and me. Discarding your children may be normal and/or excusable
>> where you come from, but in my family it is wrong. and thanks to Albert and
>> me the girls will be raised to know this is not normal motherly behavior. Now,
>> I am here to help Albert by doing what's right. I'll make sure the girls
>> always know that you are their" birth mother" and what you have done for them.
>> I do not intend on trying to replace you- I couldn't , I don't have
>> what it takes to do that! However, I have already taken your place. I am
>> where you should have been.I have already I have already spent half as much time
>> raising these girls as you have and I don't intend to stop now. I am here
>> doing what needs to done for these children- being their caregiver and role
>> model. That's a mothers job. That's my job.you have made your choice- a
>> detrimental one- and however you choose to utilize your motherly instincts( if you
>> have any) from this point on is your business.But I am here to finish the job I
>> started.I made a commitment to be part of these children's lives and I plan
>> to stick with it.I don't intend to desert stepchildren and run from my
>> responsibilities.unlike you I am a devoted parent.
>> I am truly sorry for the things I have done to you and the
>> children. I have apologized for my part in the destruction of your family and mine.in
>> fact, I made apologies to everyone in my life( my children,My
>> ex-husband,parents,siblings,in-laws, and others.) including myself. I did this so I could
>> move forward . I have spent the last five years progressing and improving my
>> life for then. It has been a long journey , but I have moved far beyond that
>> point of my life,and I am able to hold my head up.
>> You need to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your
>> actions.and the choices you made in your life. You spent years ruining these
>> children( and Albert for that matter) long before I was ever in the picture.
>> They were so scared , confused, needy and insecure when I met them- because of
>> you! They may not realize it yet,but quite frankly, getting away from you is
>> probably one of the most advantageous things that ever happen to them in
>> terms of becoming the best they can be.Albert and I are working together to help
>> the girls grow in a more positive direction- to become confident,
>> responsible and independent.
>> over the last four years I have tried to
>> understand,explain,excuse,and tolerate your behavior, but now I am through. I will not allow you to make
>> fools out of these children anymore, nor am I going to let you do any harm to
>> them . Our goal is to raise healthy, responsible, and well adjusted children,
>> and at this point you are not a big part of the equation. Presently you may
>> continue to call here on Saturdays; honestly. We are currently willing to
>> tolerate it for the girls sake.But as you know, If you start trouble for either
>> of them ( mainly Brandy since Della chooses not to speak with you at this
>> point.) we will terminate the phone calls as we see fit. And in the future if
>> we feel your calls are becoming detrimental to their health( emotionally or
>> physiologically) we will put a stop to them altogether. Again, for their
>> protection !
>> You can attempt to form your own " physco support group " by calling
>> Denise ( or anyone else) and dragging her into the mix by crying about things
>> I say and do to you. I don't trust either of you. nor am I intimidated by
>> you. Trust me, I know your game and I don't play it. I am doing what's right
>> and I don't care what others think.
>> you couldn't find some integrity within yourself if you where offered money
>> for it. You are a liar ! You are a thief ! And a deadbeat ! I expect an am
>> prepared for more confrontations with you.
>>
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> Lori ( His Girlfriend or Wife)
>>
>> The next correspondence was the letter from the court in
>> pennsylvania telling me there is a hearing on dec 21st @ 3:15pm and I ca do this by
>> phone conference. I have no resources ands legal aid says at $8.95 an hr I make
>> too much money. the lawyers scatter like flies. PLEASE, PLEASE help me
>>
>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>
>
>


#21915 From: "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:38 am
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
queenmommymom
Send Email Send Email
 

Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge




-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>
> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>
> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>
>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>
>
>
=

#21916 From: Anne <rfs1215@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:42 am
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
rfs1215
Send Email Send Email
 
What is the Katie Tagle case?

--- On Sat, 12/11/10, Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...> wrote:

From: Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
To: justice4liora@..., rfs1215@...
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:38 PM


Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge




-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>
> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>
> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>
>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>
>
>
=


#21917 From: lbe818@...
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:03 pm
Subject: Re: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
lbe818
Send Email Send Email
 
Oh dear.  This is one of the dangers of these groups.  No, parenting is not a first amendment right but instead protected under the 14th amendment.
 
Just to break it down.  SLAPP comes into play when someone defames or harms the reputation of a person - to do this, someone would have to publish false or knowingly or maliciously publish false information about someone that harms their reputation - this is personal injury.  SLAPP is a motion filed by a defendant who is being sued for these defamatory remarks and shows, that the remarks were either not defamatory, false, or were already public knowledge or that the plaintiff is a public figure or limited public figure and to allow the suit for defamation by the plaintiff to continue against the defendant would be deny the defendant's right to free speech.
 
Family court and custody disputes are not the venue where SLAPP would necessarily be entertained by the family court.
 
In a message dated 12/11/2010 10:35:10 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, rfs1215@... writes:
 
"SLAPPs — Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation — are civil complaints or counterclaims (against either an individual or an organization) in which the alleged injury was the result of petitioning or free speech activities protected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. SLAPPs are often[but not always or required] brought by corporations, real estate developers, or government officials and entities against individuals who oppose them on public issues [AKA the father's rights industry]Typically, SLAPPs are based on ordinary civil tort claims such as defamation, conspiracy, and interference with prospective economic advantage."

PARENTING IS A FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT. A bargain on child support is not.
 
I was just wondering because if:
(a) you file a motion to modify support, 
(b) he retaliates with a whole army of father's rights advocates disguised as court appointed "assistance" seeking full custody,
 
Isn't the point of that to gain the economic advantage by bleeding you dry in order to interfere with your right to parent without interference from the government?
 
Would a SLAPP motion filed against an AFCC affiliated judge or the CRC call attention to the corruption problem if you could PROVE where the court's funding was?
 
It stops discovery in it's tracks upon filing the motion.
 
I am just curious because I have never seen it done before.
--- On Sat, 12/11/10, Lbe818@... <Lbe818@...> wrote:

From: Lbe818@... <Lbe818@...>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
To: rfs1215@..., FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:09 PM

This absolutely is the wrong motion to file in family court regarding PAS.  This is a special motion filed against someone who is litigating against your first amendment protection of free speech.
 
In a message dated 12/11/2010 3:21:01 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, rfs1215@... writes:
 
I was wondering if anyone had ever tried filing a SLAPP motion in response to this PAS garbage science? The purpose of asserting PAS is to bleed mothers dry and coerce them into giving up custody. The purpose is to SILENCE protective parents and abused children. Parenting is a constitutionally protected activity right? Since the court is maliciously prosecuting the case and selling your rights to GAL's, therapists, mediators, visitation centers, etc. during discovery, do you know anyone who has tried this? What about if you are the defendant in counterclaims? I am curious to see if anyone can share their experiences.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation

"A strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP) is a lawsuit that is intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.[1]

The typical SLAPP plaintiff does not normally expect to win the lawsuit. The plaintiff's goals are accomplished if the defendant succumbs to fear, intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the criticism. A SLAPP may also intimidate others from participating in the debate. A SLAPP is often preceded by a legal threat....To win an anti-SLAPP motion, the defendant must first show that the lawsuit is based on constitutionally protected activity. Then, the burden shifts to the plaintiff, to affirmatively present evidence to show that they have a reasonable probability of prevailing on the action. The filing of an anti-SLAPP motion stays all discovery. This feature acts to greatly reduce the cost of litigation to the anti-SLAPP defendant, and can make beating the motion extremely difficult for the plaintiff, because they effectively must prove their case without the benefit of discovery."

Here is the definitions of



#21918 From: lbe818@...
Date: Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:17 pm
Subject: Re: SLAPP as a legal defense-any success stories?
lbe818
Send Email Send Email
 
No.  Maybe this will  help you to understand it a bit better:
 
 

DISCUSSION

I.        The Anti-SLAPP Statute and the Standard of Review.

           The anti-SLAPP statute is aimed at curbing “lawsuits brought primarily to chill the valid exercise of the constitutional rights of freedom of speech and petition for the redress of grievances.† (§ 425.16, subd. (a); Jarrow Formulas, Inc. v. LaMarche (2003) 31 Cal.4th 728, 738–739.)  The statute provides in relevant part:  “A cause of action against a person arising from any act of that person in furtherance of the person’s right of petition or free speech under the United States Constitution or the California Constitution in connection with a public issue shall be subject to a special motion to strike, unless the court determines that the plaintiff has established that there is a probability that the plaintiff will prevail on the claim.† (§ 425.16, subd. (b)(1).)  An act “‘in furtherance of’†the right of petition or free speech includes “any written or oral statement or writing made before a . . . judicial proceedingâ€; “any written or oral statement or writing made in connection with an issue under consideration or review by a . . . judicial bodyâ€; “any written or oral statement or writing made in a place open to the public or a public forum in connection with an issue of public interestâ€; or “any other conduct in furtherance of the exercise of the constitutional right of petition . . . of free speech in connection with a public issue or an issue of public interest.† (§ 425.16, subd. (e)(1)–(4).)

           There are two components to a motion to strike brought under section 425.16.  Initially, the party challenging the lawsuit has the threshold burden to show that the cause of action arises from an act in furtherance of the right of petition or free speech.  (Zamos v. Stroud (2004) 32 Cal.4th 958, 965; Equilon Enterprises v. Consumer Cause, Inc. (2002) 29 Cal.4th 53, 67.)  Once that burden is met, the burden shifts to the complaining party to demonstrate a probability of prevailing on the claim.  (Zamos v. Stroud, supra, at p. 965; City of Cotati v. Cashman (2002) 29 Cal.4th 69, 76.)  To satisfy this prong, the plaintiff “‘must demonstrate that the complaint is both legally sufficient and supported by a sufficient prima facie showing of facts to sustain a favorable judgment if the evidence submitted by the plaintiff is credited.’† (Wilson v. Parker, Covert & Chidester (2002) 28 Cal.4th 811, 821; see also DuPont Merck Pharmaceutical Co. v. Superior Court (2000) 78 Cal.App.4th 562, 568 [to establish a probability of prevailing, a plaintiff must substantiate each element of the alleged cause of action through competent, admissible evidence].)  “Only a cause of action that satisfies both prongs of the anti-SLAPP statute—i.e., that arises from protected speech or petitioning and lacks even minimal merit—is a SLAPP, subject to being stricken under the statute.† (Navellier v. Sletten (2002) 29 Cal.4th 82, 89.)

           We independently review the record to determine whether the asserted causes of action arise from the defendant’s free speech or petitioning activity, and, if so, whether the plaintiff has shown a probability of prevailing.  (Soukup v. Law Offices of Herbert Hafif (2006) 39 Cal.4th 260, 269, fn. 3; HMS Capital, Inc. v. Lawyers Title Co. (2004) 118 Cal.App.4th 204, 212.)  We consider “the pleadings, and supporting and opposing affidavits stating the facts upon which the liability or defense is based.† (§ 425.16, subd. (b)(2); Flatley v. Mauro (2006) 39 Cal.4th 299, 326.)

 

In a message dated 12/11/2010 10:35:25 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, rfs1215@... writes:



#21919 From: verylonelymom@...
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:56 am
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
verylonelymom99
Send Email Send Email
 
Even though Katie Tagle's judge was defeated in election, he is now trying to get another appointment from California governor before he leaves office (this is Judge Lemkau).

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


From: "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...>
Sender: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2010 22:38:27 -0500
To: <justice4liora@...>; <rfs1215@...>
Cc: <FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 


Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge




-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>
> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>
> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>
>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>
>
>
=


#21920 From: "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:18 am
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
queenmommymom
Send Email Send Email
 
She was on Dr. Phil, from San Bernardino courts.  This mother had  emails from her son's father that he was going to commit suicide and kill their 9th month old child, the mother submitted  emails to get supervised visitation (after agreeing to shared parenting, prior), of the threats.  The Judge said to the mother, "if she was to basically come back in his courts with this he would take custody from her and give to the father.  The father, with the child called the mother, and admitted on the phone he was going to kill himself and the baby, and he did. This judge was voted out of is position. 


-----Original Message-----
From: Anne <rfs1215@...>
To: justice4liora@...; Lisa Nico Analis <lisanocero@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:42 pm
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

What is the Katie Tagle case?

--- On Sat, 12/11/10, Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...> wrote:

From: Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
To: justice4liora@..., rfs1215@...
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:38 PM


Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge




-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>
> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>
> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>
> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>
> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>
>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>
>
>
=


#21921 From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:27 pm
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
liora_stein
Send Email Send Email
 

Yes, but it also prompted a ton of publicity.  You should contact the guy that pulicized her situation and the radio show too.  I wrote about her case in a book I am working on.  I can find his name later today

On Dec 11, 2010 10:38 PM, "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...> wrote:
>
>
> Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
> On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>>
>> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>>
>> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>>
>> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>>
>> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>>
>>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

#21922 From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:33 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
liora_stein
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This group is not that active anymore... I got in on the tail end apparently.  When do you finish school and sir for the bar?  How old are you?  What are you going to do, what do you need, etc?  I wish to hell I had a trust fund to work with...

On Dec 11, 2010 10:36 PM, "Anne" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
> Absolutely. WHich is why I want to know about how other people deal with it and how thier cases are handled, and know that their kids are ok.
>
> --- On Sat, 12/11/10, Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...> wrote:
>
>
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: Advocates this parent needs help, please!!!
> To: "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:12 PM
>
>
>
> You know it is not just CA or FL it is all over the country
> On Dec 11, 2010 9:57 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>> UPDATE PLEASE.
>>
>> As you know, these people cannot be exposed for hurting families unless we keep their names relevant and accountable. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
>>
>>
>> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, JUSTICEforADJANI@... wrote:
>>>
>>> Dear Advocate groups,
>>> My post are being "bounced back to me" I hope you get this, long but VIP
>>> Plea of help from
>>> another grieving Parent "not from FL but also, caught up in FL abusive
>>> process and FL lies.
>>> I appreciate any help or support you can give, this mother. Denied visits,
>>> monitored calls, Threatened, You might as well get use to this,because is not
>>> about to change. Same threat
>>> as me, my introduction, to brutal FL system. Thank you! Sila,
>>> JUSTICEforADJANI
>>>
>>> Dear Elizabeth,
>>> Thank you for contacting me. I relate well to your pain. I'm very sorry you
>>> had to go thru the
>>> E-N-D-L-E-S-S "fl" Abusive process injustice. Our cases mirrors the violence
>>> and tragedy. I am Fwd your story to Advocate for support; given my humble
>>> means. I'd refer you to groups
>>> in your area but, I question their effectiveness due to silence. Feel free
>>> to write any time,
>>> you do not walk alone! STRENGTH COMES IN UNION...blessings, "Sila"
>>> _http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html_
>>> (http://www.angelfire.com/amiga/justiceforadjani/index.html)
>>>
>>> Forwarded Message:
>>> Subj: Fw: please help Date: 10/27/2005 9:35:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
>>> From: _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...) To:
>>> _ibuy.1@..._ (mailto:ibuy.1@...) , _cj7scrambler@..._
>>> (mailto:cj7scrambler@...) , _nativeamerican252003@..._
>>> (mailto:nativeamerican252003@...) , _jacqueline614@..._ (mailto:jacqueline614@...) ,
>>> _adjanisila@..._ (mailto:adjanisila@...) , _ONEDAV1FL@..._
>>> (mailto:ONEDAV1FL@...) Sent from the Internet _(Details)_
>>> (aolmsg://01975be0/inethdr/2)
>>>
>>>
>>> Is there a way you can help me with what is going on in my life .I seem to
>>> have no rights. please read the letter below and see if you can help I have
>>> tried everything including writing to the white house with no luck. tell me
>>> because he has money and I don't this is fair. Is there anybody out there that
>>> can help me. Any advise or agency recommendation would be appreciated
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>>
>>> 1250 Woodcrest Drive
>>> Daytona Beach,Fl 32114
>>> _edobson1@..._ (mailto:edobson1@...)
>>> 386-569-9394
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I am enclosing some details of what I am going through. I can find no help
>>> with Lawyers or anywhere I turn I have even wrote to the white house.
>>> Presently I am one step away from losing anything I might have. I seem to have no
>>> rights what so ever and the court is listening to someone who has abused me,
>>> drugs and kept me away from having any bond with my children.you are my last
>>> hope.
>>>
>>>
>>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>>
>>> P.S. I Have tried everything
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I am not sure what to write here but I can only give you the truth.
>>>
>>> I left pennsylvania in feb 2001 to visit my daughter in Va to get away from
>>> a terrible situtation at home where my ex was harassing me and threatening to
>>> kill me because I found his drugs and took pictures of it and showed his
>>> family. this started in august because I found out about his affair with the
>>> women he is with now.
>>>
>>> my youngest daughter had described a pill box that he had some white powder
>>> in and a straw.she also described small white pills. his family didn't
>>> beleive me but went right to him he came home from work and was over me by the
>>> sink he had the look of a crazed person in his eyes. he told me he was going to
>>> kill me for what I had done.he went to hit me and I pushed and slapped him.
>>> he called the police and said he was abused by me. when they got there they
>>> had me in the living room with my children while he was in the kitchen with
>>> the other officer which he had known.I told the officer what had happened and
>>> he could arrest me if he wanted to but I was defending myself. I told him how
>>> my daughter had seen the drugs and he looked me right in the eye and said"
>>> maam we are not here for that" they never asked him to empty his pockets or to
>>> even leave. they told me I should take the children and leave the premises.I
>>> told the officer "no this is my home and I have no where to take the children
>>> " he told me he could not make him leave the home. when they left I put the
>>> kids to bed and stayed away from him . he threatened me again and I locked
>>> myself in the bedroom and called domestic violence hotline where I was on the
>>> phone with them half the night.I did not sleep that night in fear he would
>>> break the door down and kill me. there was violence in the past and I knew he
>>> had guns in the basement.
>>>
>>> the next morning I told him he had to leave I could not live like this . he
>>> packed and left.I didn't know he had called the ultilities and was having
>>> them shut off the end of the month.I found out when the electric company had
>>> called the house and asked if I wanted the electric to continue in my name.they
>>> had explained that he called them to terminate service so I called all the
>>> other ultilities and found out he had done the same.I had copied the books in
>>> the store showing all his income and had them hidden between the mattresses
>>> of my bed along with the pictures. he got into the house while I was at the
>>> store and took them.he told me he would use the pictures against me now.he
>>> would have everything and I would be homeless he wanted the house sold and me out
>>> of it and that he would have the children and I am going to wind up with
>>> nothing.he then took the checkbook for the business and had it at his mothers
>>> house it was at this point I no longer went into the store. he came over to the
>>> house yelling that I had to run the store and I told him I didn't .I was not
>>> going to sit there and not be able to have any money to live I had to go get
>>> a job. I went and applied in over 30 places with no answer until I had a
>>> friend call the store and say I was applying for a job and they wanted a
>>> reference for me. he had his mother sitting in there selling carpet and she told
>>> them I was a totally untrustworthy that I had stole money from the business and
>>> I should not be hired.
>>>
>>> I told him I wanted child and spousal support he said he wanted it legal and
>>> I better do it quick so I went to the courthouse and filled out the papers.
>>> the hearing was in jan of 2001. he was served with the papers and came to the
>>> house in a rage . I told him I did what you asked me to do. he reversed
>>> everything and said he never told me to do this.he said I will never get spousal
>>> support and I will never be able to fight him with no money.I told him the
>>> only one he is hurting is the children. he told me he will have the children and
>>> she will be there mother.I asked him to leave he again threatened to harm me
>>> and I told him I would call the police. he told to go ahead they think your
>>> crazy anyway remember I grew up in this town and I can do what I want to you
>>> and you have no one to turn to.he started breaking into the house when I
>>> wasn't there and the police said because his name is on the deed there is nothing
>>> I can do he has every right to enter the home even though he doesn't live
>>> there.
>>>
>>> I went to several lawyers and they told me that this was an involved case and
>>> a few turned it down because they didn't have the time to give it.I found
>>> one that took it and wanted 800.00 up front I gave it to him and he did nothing
>>> .when it came time for the hearing he told me I didn't need him there it was
>>> just support and I will get what I was asking for which I didn't.when my
>>> husband filed for divorce Ihad told my lawyer I to sue on grounds of adultry he
>>> told me not to do that to let him pay for the divorce because I wouldn't have
>>> the money to pay for it myself I looked at this lawyer and asked what I had
>>> paid for which he told me the his time. meanwhile my husband refused to pay
>>> any of the bills which amounted to 2,000 a month.he said I would have to find
>>> a way they are all in my name and he don't have to pay for a thing anymore.my
>>> children told me to use there savings accounts because they hasd seen me
>>> crying and talking to my older daughter about not knowing what Iw as gonna do
>>> and christmas was here and I had nothing for the kids.I did the best I could at
>>> that point.
>>>
>>> in jan my son in law came to send a few days with me and he had seen what he
>>> was doing. he had broken in again and took most of the things in the
>>> basement and the lawn mower and some rugs that where stored in there.I called the
>>> police and they still wouldn't do anything ebven though he has been out of the
>>> house since august they refuseed to do anything.all I could do at this time
>>> was cry.I finally had to use the childrens savings to pay what I could of the
>>> bills and the car so it wouldn't get taken for not paying it off. I had come
>>> to the end of my rope. I had told my son in law if things go bad with the
>>> hearing I would have no choice but to let him have the kids so they have a roof
>>> over there head.I wa told to write a statement that it would be temporary
>>> until I found a place to live. I wrote it up and gave it to my daughter to bring
>>> to the lawyer because everything went wrong at the hearing. first he claimed
>>> all he made was 12,000 for the year.I tried to tell them it was a lie but
>>> the hearings officer didn't want to hear it.I had asked for spousal support and
>>> his lawyer said that I may be a bigamist and I couldn't beleive it.the
>>> hearing officer just threw it aside.he determined that I was to get 34.00 a week
>>> per child I told him that was crazy and that I would let my children live with
>>> my ex until I got on my feet. again I was told to write it out and send it
>>> to my lawyer to have a copy sent to my ex. which the lawyer received that
>>> afternoon.which they claim they never got.
>>>
>>> He took the children (which I thought maybe he would see what he was doing
>>> and stop but he didn't) I had my older daughter there because I couldn't be
>>> there when he took them I would have probably been put in jail so I made sure I
>>> was not there .after they were gone I came home I felt like my heart was
>>> ripped out.the next day I left and went to Virginia.I told my older daughter to
>>> take my furniture and things bring them to her house and store them in her
>>> basement and attic until I find a place to live.I figured I had better get
>>> out of the house because I felt Iw as in real danger now without the children
>>> there with me.
>>>
>>> I arrived at my daughters in virginia late that evening, spent some time
>>> with my grandchildren the next day and was feeling a little better.the following
>>> day my daughter back in pa called and said that he broke the door in on the
>>> house and changed all the locks.so now I was really homeless.I left my
>>> daughters the next day and didn't know where I was gonna go but couldn't stay with
>>> her becaause Iw as not got be a burden on my child like that.so I came to
>>> florida to spend some time with friends that use to live near us in pa.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> When I Came to Florida i stayed with friends from back home that had moved
>>> down here. they found me a room to rent for 35.00 aweek and I found a job
>>> waitressing. I I was or thought I was talking with my children with e mail but
>>> it just didn't seem like the way they would answer They thought I was in texas
>>> and it had to be that way so he wouldn't find me.they where always asking
>>> where I was and that I was taking there father to court.I didn't know what they
>>> meant until I recieved papers in the last week of april of 2001 saying he
>>> wanted to sell the house and get custody of the children.the hearing was on the
>>> 14th of may there was no way I could do anything in such little time.I wrote
>>> the court telling them I objected to the selling of the house by the realtor
>>> he was choosing because she was a close family friend and would not be
>>> honest about the sale it went though anyway I also protested the custody but got
>>> nowhere with that either he wa allowed to sell the house without me and the
>>> court gave him full custody of the children and Iw as to recieve supervised
>>> visitation but a person of his choice.. This was crazy I did nothing wrong but
>>> yet evrything was being taken away.
>>>
>>> he harassed mty daughter until she gave him my furniture and I recieved a
>>> envelope with pictures of our wedding and some old pictures from an album my
>>> daughter was keeping for me. I guess this was to let me know he had my
>>> stuff.what she had told me was he wouldn't leave her alone and had the cops at her
>>> door and showed receipts for the items that I hold the bills for now. I had
>>> wrote his lawyer and told him I wanted fifty percent of everything in the
>>> marriage including the business. I had also wanted it stated that I could resume
>>> the use of my maiden name.I made a list of the things he had taken from my
>>> Daughter and my personal belongings that he had taken I also told the lawyer
>>> that mr.Dobson knew exactly where I was and lied about not knowing my where
>>> abouts because I know these friends I stayed with called him and he had sent me
>>> that envelope with his return address on it..I never heard from his attorney
>>> again. I wrote him again and wanted to know what was going on with the divorce
>>> and again stating what I wanted from the divorce settlement and that I
>>> wanted alimony. I still got no response he had also had my daughter brandy call
>>> collect which I couldn't accept because this was not my phone or home.he also
>>> gave someone the number because I got a call threatening me about the bills
>>> that where owed and how I was going to jail for them.there were two men on the
>>> phone and they told me the police were on the way and I would be arrested.the
>>> people I wa staying with were not happy that he was doing this with there
>>> number and had to have it changed and unpublished so it would stop.I didn't
>>> call there because I felt it would only cause trouble for the children.I tried
>>> on christmas but he would not let me speak to them.then in I believe it was
>>> july of 2003. the sheriff was at the home trying to serve me with papers. I
>>> called the sheriff to pick up the papers and it was for support of the
>>> children.to be held in flagler county court. I moved in with a girlfriend because I
>>> felt I was causing these people trouble.I went and got an attorney to represent
>>> me and they awarded him no support. My daughter Brandy was writing me and
>>> telling me she missed and loved me. I was afraid to answer her letters because
>>> nothing I sent was getting to them I was writing and sending them to my older
>>> Daughters home until he found out and whatever he said to her.she would not
>>> accept the letters anymore and I haven't heard from here since.I had sent
>>> these girls cards for christmas and there birthdays and they never recived them
>>> and he claims I never sent them so I stopped sending them.
>>>
>>> Feeling like a drifter and nowhere to go I rented a trailer in bunnell
>>> where I lived by myself. I never changed my post office box so I could get the
>>> letters from my Daughter.in one letter she had said they where in florida on
>>> vacation .they knew where bunnell was but not where I lived. I thought he
>>> could have wrote and told me he would be here and where I could meet to see the
>>> children but I was told after the fact of them being here. I wrote the lawyer
>>> again asking again about the divorce and the settlement but he never answered
>>> again. I moved to Daytona in june of 2004. I gave the children my address
>>> and hoped for the best within a few months the sheriff was at my door again
>>> serving me with papers for support. this time I called and tried to talk to him
>>> and explained I have no money and its more important for the children to have
>>> a relationship with me. I am there mother and want to be a part of there
>>> life .he told me I have no right to my children that the court took my rights
>>> away.that lori is there mother and she will make all the decisions concerning
>>> my children.I told him I am there mother and he has kept me away too long.he
>>> told me that I owed him for tools that where in the basement I told him he
>>> broke into the home two days after I left and I had no idea what happen to his
>>> tools they where in the basement.he wasn't concerned about talking about the
>>> children just his things and I told him after about thirty minutes of his none
>>> stop ranting that I called to talk to him about the girls not his
>>> belongings.I was told he will keep me away from them and I will never saee them again
>>> they hate me and he has told them how crazy I am and how I don't want anything
>>> to do with them.I asked him how he can hurt these children like this .his
>>> response was he nots hurting them he's in charge and it will be his way and
>>> there is no talking I have no legal right to the children. I told him I didn't
>>> want to fight with him I just want a relationship with my children. that we
>>> don't have to be enemies for I did nothing wrong and he must stop this for the
>>> sake of the children. he finally said he didn't care if I gave him twenty
>>> dollars a week.I told him I wanted to talk to the girls on the phone.he told me
>>> to call on saturday.
>>>
>>> PHONE CALLS TO GIRLS
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Sept 17 2004 -
>>> Spoke with Albert regarding support Hearing He told me that he did not care
>>> if it was 20 dollars a week as long as I paid something. I explained my
>>> financial hardships and his unwillingness to work with me with the girls. I told
>>> him I wanted to speak with my children, that I would call Saturday morning. He
>>> told me they are not available.
>>> Sept 20 2004 -
>>> Spoke with Albert again to confirm agreement for 20 wkly. He told me he was
>>> waiting to hear from his caseworker about this. I tried to explain to him how
>>> its not healthy for the children not to have a relationship with me and how
>>> this was only suppose to be a temporary arrangement and I will be apart of
>>> their lives. He told me I could speak with them on sat 9/25/2005, that I should
>>> call the store. Told him I will call at 10:00 am.
>>> Sept 25 2004 -
>>> I called the store at 10:00 am. He then proceeded to tell me about things he
>>> was missing. I explained to him that I had no idea where his stuff was
>>> because Mary was taking care of storing my belongings and was told to leave his
>>> tools alone. If he was missing anything, he should speak with her. He also made
>>> me aware that he got most of the stuff from Mary. I also told him that he
>>> broke the door in on Feb 3rd and changed all the locks so I could not re enter
>>> and took the cable box and anything else that was still in the home. I also
>>> told him that he must return the box to the cable company. He said I would
>>> have to prove that he has it He also told me “I told you that you would be
>>> homeless and penniless as you can see I meant it†. He went on for approx 30
>>> minutes about how he will not pay any bills because they are in my name and he owes
>>> me nothing. He also told me that he would take what he can from me and I
>>> cannot stop him, because I cannot afford to stop it and as long as he keeps me
>>> in this position, he wins. I told him that once he gets over his guilt of
>>> adultery maybe then he would stop projecting his anger at me. He went on and on
>>> about how everything is his and I am not getting anything from him. I told him
>>> I did not call to talk about his issues but to speak with my children. We
>>> can be friends for the sake of the girls. I do not want to argue. Then he
>>> finally told me the girls where not there but at home and I should call there. I
>>> said I hope we can be friends because I do not want to call and argue just
>>> speak with my girls.
>>> Sept 25 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at his girlfriend’s home. She answered and put me on
>>> speakerphone before putting the girls on. I spoke with both of them. I told them
>>> I loved them and missed them. They told me the same. I promised the both of
>>> them I would call every Saturday morning at 10:00 am. The girls said yes they
>>> would like that and they would be there for my call.
>>> Oct 2 2004-
>>> I called Ardella and Brandy at 10:00 am at the girlfriend’s house. I got the
>>> answering machine so I left a message telling the girls I called as I
>>> promised and would call next week at the same time.
>>> Oct 2 2004-
>>> I called the store Albert answered and I asked why the girls where not there
>>> for my call, I had told them I would be calling today. He told me Ardella
>>> was in New York and Lori (his girlfriend) took Brandy to her sister’s house. I
>>> informed him that the girls want to speak with me. He told me I have no legal
>>> right to the children. I told him I would call back next week.
>>> Oct 9 2004 -
>>> I called at 10:00 am to speak with the girls .I got answering machine again
>>> so I left a message addressed to the girls telling them I called and will call
>>> next week at the same time.
>>> Oct 9 2004-
>>> I called the store to find out where the girls were. I got answering machine
>>> there also, so I left a message “I said I will be calling the girls again
>>> next week at 10:00 am like agreed with children†.
>>> Oct 16 2004 -
>>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori (his girlfriend) answered. I finally spoke with
>>> Brandy. I wished her a happy birthday and told her I love and miss her. I
>>> asked where she was the last two weeks. She told me that on 10/2 she had to go
>>> with Lori and missed talking with me. On 10/9 her father took her them camping.
>>> We talked for a while she told me she wishes I was there with her. She said
>>> this very low because she is on the speakerphone. Brandy also spoke about her
>>> friends and school. I asked to speak with Ardella but Brandy said she was
>>> not there. I told Brandy that I loved her and to tell Ardella I love her and
>>> miss them both and I will call next week.
>>> Oct 23 2004-
>>> I called at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there. I spoke with
>>> Ardella . She spoke about school and being in the band. She told me Brandy was over
>>> a girlfriend’s house and she was going to dad’s store. I told her I love
>>> her and to tell Brandy I called and tell her I love them and miss them both
>>> very much. Told Ardella I will call next week.
>>> Oct 30 2004-
>>> I called Ardella and Brandy At 10:00 am .I was put on speakerphone by Lori.
>>> I spoke with Brandy. She told me how her costume for Halloween was a
>>> hillbilly and that she would be going trick or treating. She told me she did not want
>>> to go to school there next year because she will be going to a new school
>>> (annex I assumed). I told her she has nothing to worry about all her old
>>> friends will be there with her. Brandy told me she wants to see me. I told her I
>>> want to see her and maybe soon we can see each other. Ardella was not there so
>>> I told Brandy I loved them both and to tell ardella I called. Brandy told me
>>> she loved and missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. I told her I
>>> would talk to her next week.
>>> Nov 6 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she told me that she is
>>> sick. We talked about school for a little bit. I told her I love and miss
>>> her. I spoke with Ardella she told me about school and playing her instrument
>>> in the band at school. I told her I love her and miss her and will talk with
>>> them again next week.
>>> Nov 13 2004-
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am I was told by Lori that the girls were
>>> unavailable.
>>> Nov 20 2004-
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about school
>>> and things she was doing. She told me about her trip to Maryland. She seemed
>>> very quiet and careful about what she was saying. I asked for Ardella but
>>> Brandy said she was sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love her and miss her.
>>> I asked Brandy to send pictures. She said she would. I told her I loved her
>>> and missed her and I will talk to her next week.
>>> Nov 27 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori answered and told me they were not
>>> there. Asked where they were but got no response.
>>> Dec 3 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy, she told me it was cold
>>> there and we talked about a little general stuff. She told me she loved and
>>> missed me. I told her I love and miss her too. She told me her father said
>>> she could take piano lessons after the New Year. I told her that was good and I
>>> hope she will enjoy that. She sounded happy about it. I asked for Ardella
>>> but she would not come to the phone said she was tired and laying down. I told
>>> Brandy to tell her I love her and miss them both and I will talk to them next
>>> week.
>>> Dec 11 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that they were not there.
>>> Dec 11 2004 -
>>> I called the store. Albert answered; I asked if the girls were there. He
>>> told me no. I asked where they were. His answer was; it is none of my business.
>>> I told him they are my children and I promised them I would call every week.
>>> He told me I have no legal right to the children and I will never get them
>>> back. I did not see where this call was doing any good so I asked him to come
>>> to an agreement on the support. He told me I have a legal responsibility to
>>> support them. I told him I have a legal responsibility to be there mother. He
>>> told me there mother is with them and I will never get them back. I hung up.
>>> Dec 18 2004 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She talked about school,
>>> her grades, and that she was doing really well. She went on to tell me that
>>> where she is living none of her friends are not around and she does not like the
>>> weekends because she has nothing to do there. She did not sound happy at
>>> all. Ardella was sleeping again so I told her to tell her I love her and miss
>>> her. Told brandy I love and miss her and will talk with her next week.
>>> Dec 25 2004 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I wished them both a very merry Christmas
>>> and told them I will call again next week.
>>> Jan 1 2005 -
>>> I called at 10:00 am. Albert answered and said they were both in bed
>>> sleeping. I told him to tell them I called and will call next week.
>>> Jan 8 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy. She told me about her
>>> Christmas vacation and Ardella’s birthday party and New Years Eve party they
>>> had at the house. We talked about school and her grades. I told her as long
>>> as she does her best no one could ask for more. She told me that on Saturdays
>>> she cleans her room. I asked for Ardella but she said she was upstairs
>>> sleeping. I told Brandy to tell her I love and miss her and†hopefully “next week
>>> she will be up so I can talk with her. I told Brandy that I love and miss her
>>> and will talk to her next week.
>>> Jan 15 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. We talked about when she
>>> was younger and her about memories of things we did together then. She was
>>> happy talking about these things. She told me she was going to the youth group at
>>> the church we use to go to together but they not taken there any longer on
>>> Sundays. She told me she would be getting her report card on the 31st. I told
>>> her that she probably did great. I asked her about her friends and she told
>>> me she has not been able to be with them for a while she also said there is
>>> nothing to do there. I asked for Ardella but she said she was sleeping. I told
>>> her I love her and we started playing “I love you more†and she laughed. I
>>> told her that even though I am not there nothing has changed and I still love
>>> her with all my heart. She told me she still loved me with all her heart too.
>>> She told me about her scrapbook where she looks at the pictures she has of
>>> all of us. I told her that was good and they are good memories to have. I told
>>> her to tell Ardella I love and miss her and will call again next week.
>>> Jan 22 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I talked with Brandy about school. She told
>>> me it was snowing and that they could get about a foot before it stops. She
>>> talked about her best friend Kendra that she has known since she was 4 yrs
>>> old. I told her I was very glad she still has Kendra as her best friend. She
>>> talked about things the two of them did together when they were younger. I asked
>>> for Ardella but she was in bed sleeping. I told her to tell Ardella I love
>>> and miss her. I told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next
>>> week.
>>> Jan 29 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were not there.
>>> Feb 5 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori said they were not available to take
>>> calls.
>>> Feb 12 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She was not talkative
>>> like usual. It was very brief she said there was nothing new. She seemed very
>>> uneasy and cautious. I spoke with Ardella and the same very quiet and
>>> non-talkative. I told them I loved them and will call next week.
>>> Feb 19 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me the girls were unavailable.
>>> Feb 26 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me they were not available.
>>> March 5 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy she was upset and Lori
>>> was yelling in the background “ask her why she Left†. Brandy then asked (I
>>> could tell she was crying) why did you leave. I told her when she is ready she
>>> can come here sit down with me and I will tell her everything she needs to
>>> know. By that time, Lori got on the phone yelling at me to tell her. I told
>>> Lori that I call to talk to my children not her. She called me a liar. I told
>>> her to leave me alone she has no idea what went on in my home. She said she
>>> knows everything. She called me a lousy bitch. Therefore, I told her she was a
>>> home wrecker and a slut. I should not have but I did. She made remarks about
>>> me being a lousy mother and I told her she could never be a mother to my
>>> children because I will always be there mother. She told me that she is there
>>> mother. I told her she will never be there mother and they are my children. I
>>> told her again I do not call to talk to her but to my children. Lori put Ardella
>>> on and she told me she does not want to talk to me when I call. I could tell
>>> she was upset. Brandy got on now I could hear her crying. She told me she
>>> loved me. I asked her if she wanted me to keep calling. She said yes that she
>>> loves me and wants to talk to me (she was crying while saying this to me). At
>>> this point, I thought it best to end the call. I told brandy that I love her
>>> and will talk to her next week. I do not know what that woman is trying to do
>>> but I refuse to be a part of her little games especially with my children. I
>>> felt Ardella and Brandy are being used and that is just not fair to them. I
>>> do not want them to be hurt like that.
>>> March 11 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy; she also spoke about her
>>> project in school and how her partner for this was a bad boy in her class she
>>> was also telling about the bad kids in her class and how it bothers her. She
>>> asked me if I was mad at her because of last week. I explained to her that I
>>> was not mad and when she is ready she can come to Florida and we can sit and
>>> talk about everything and I can then show her all the legal papers So she can
>>> understand everything and make her own decision and judgment when she has all
>>> the facts. I also told her that I call to speak with her about what is going
>>> on in her life and how she is doing. I do not call to argue with anyone. I
>>> told her it is ok that Ardella do not want to talk to me and maybe in time
>>> that will change. I told her to tell Ardella that I love her and miss her. I
>>> told Brandy I love and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>>> March 19 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me that she has a
>>> cold. We talked about school and a few other things. I told her to tell
>>> Ardella that I love her and miss her. She was not feeling well so I told her I
>>> love her and miss her and will talk to her next week.
>>> March 26 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me Brandy was not there.
>>> April 2 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine, so I left a message
>>> for Brandy telling he I loved her and that I will call next week.
>>> April 9 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She told me she made high
>>> honors on her report card. I told her I knew she could do it because she is
>>> smart. I asked her where she was the last couple of weeks. She told me that two
>>> weeks ago, she was at Laura’s house and Last week she had to go with Lori to
>>> her daycare center to help put in carpet. She also said this week she has to
>>> wash Lori’s car. I told her I loved her and missed her and to tell Ardella I
>>> love and miss her too. She told me she loves and misses me.
>>> April 16 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that brandy was unavailable.
>>> April 23 2005-
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori again told me that she was unavailable.
>>> April 30 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy I asked her where she
>>> was the last couple of weeks. She told me that they took her camping and she
>>> was at Laura’s house. I told her that when she is not there I leave a message
>>> on the answering machine so she will know I called when she is not there. She
>>> spoke about being in the band, softball and her first practice, her friends,
>>> and upcoming events. I told her I love her and miss her and to tell Ardella I
>>> love and miss her too. I told her I would call next week.
>>> May 7 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I spoke with Brandy. She spoke about
>>> softball practice and her first game on Monday night. She told me she was doing well
>>> in school. She seemed happy today. I asked about Ardella . She told me that
>>> Ardella was going on a trip to king’s dominion in VA She talked about Kendra
>>> and Laura. She told me all about her sunflowers that she was growing and that
>>> she would be going on a trip to Washington DC on June 1st. I told her to
>>> tell Ardella that I love and miss her very much. I told Brandy I love and miss
>>> her too. I told her I would call again next week. She said in a low voice “
>>> happy mother’s day I love you†. I said thank you sweetheart.
>>> May 14 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00am. I got the answering machine and left a
>>> message telling brandy I loved her and will call again next week.
>>> May 21 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine again and left
>>> message for Brandy letting her know I called and will call again next week.
>>> May 28 2005 -
>>> I called the girls, the message on the answering machine was about a job in
>>> the paper, and then it said, “Liz, we don’t have time for your five minute
>>> phone calls. I recorded this and left a message that I called and that I
>>> recorded this message.
>>> June 4 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not allowed to
>>> talk to me because her phone privileges have been taken away. I was not going
>>> to argue so I hung up.
>>> June 11 2005 -
>>> I called girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that Brandy was not there. She was
>>> laughing and had a high pitch sound like a fire alarm blarring into the
>>> phone. (I did not appreciate this and feel she did not like Brandy wishing me a
>>> happy mother’s day so this is the punishment). I do not want my children hurt
>>> for speaking there feelings to me.
>>> June 18 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. I got the answering machine and left a
>>> message for brandy telling her I loved and missed and will call again next week.
>>> June 25 2005 -
>>> I called the girls at 10:00 am. Lori told me that I am not allowed to speak
>>> with brandy anymore. I hung up.
>>> This was the last time I called because I do not want my children being hurt
>>> emotionally by what this woman is doing to them.
>>> when the hearing for support was held in jan I didn't have legal
>>> representation beause I can't afford it.they asked all the usual questions and I spoke
>>> to the judge and told her about the drug use and how he sold the house and
>>> won't let me know what it amount it sold for was .I told her how he refuses to
>>> pay any of the marital bills because he said there all in my name. how I was a
>>> partneer in the business and did the day to day activity with the business,
>>> that he claimed I was a bigamist and the spousal support was thrown aside.
>>> that I felt Iw as supporting the children already by what I was not recieving
>>> from him. I also told him I love my children but am refused the right to have
>>> anything to do with them or a say in how they are brought up. I also stated
>>> that I do not want to support my children . I want my children with me. the
>>> case was dismissed and no support awarded to him. they also wanted a financial
>>> statement which he would not provide.
>>> I received a letter in the mail a few weeks later which I have
>>> enclosed below:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I received this letter in the mail.Dated June 1, 2005 I have sent this to
>>> you word for word.
>>>
>>> Liz,
>>> As Albert's wife and current acting mother to the girls, I feel
>>> the need to express a few things to you. I am a full time mother to Della and
>>> Brandy, and frankly, my opinion concerning their upbringing and well being
>>> is more significant than yours. Albert and I share the decision making. I form
>>> judgments based on the information I collect from my life experiences,
>>> therefore I feel justified in saying the following.
>>> We are doing you a favor by allowing you a phone visit with the
>>> girls. you abandoned your children and have no legal visitation ( or custody)
>>> from Florida. you know all those court documents and papers you say you have?
>>> ... try reading them ! the court order states that Albert has full legal and
>>> physical custody of the girls. There are No visitations listed for because
>>> you are gone.Albert works on Saturdays so has obviously chosen me as the
>>> supervisor for your phone calls so I will monitor every conversation . I hear
>>> everything you say.Albert and I agree this necessary for the girls protection.(
>>> because we feel you are demented). You might as well get use to this,because
>>> at this point is not about to change. Record the phone calls if you chose; we
>>> have nothing to hide or be afraid of.
>>> Where's the proof you keep talking about to support your stories?
>>> Let's see it ! If you really want to prove your honesty, Why wait ? Show the
>>> proof now. Prove everything you're telling the kids. Prove that Albert stole
>>> the house from you! Prove that he "took" everything from you ! prove that I
>>> wanted your children ! Make some copies of your "papers" and send them here. You
>>> know there is no proof of your lies ! I have taken time to show and explain
>>> our entire file of court documents to the girls. We have all our proof :
>>> Proof that you abandoned your children and took their money; That you willingly
>>> walked away from your house and the responsibilities; That you illegally sold
>>> or gave away Albert's belongings; That you stole money from the business and
>>> hid invoices; that you fraudulently obtained numerous credit cards by
>>> forging Albert's signature, then secretly hid thousands of dollars in purchases on
>>> these cards from him.
>>> ( we have been legally advised that this warrants charges) Would you like
>>> to see our proof ? Maybe it would help you face reality.
>>> Of course I wasn't in your home when you and Albert were
>>> approaching your separation, but I have a pretty good idea of what went on-After all
>>> I had kept in contact with him during some of that time.I heard some of those
>>> stories first hand and current. Also, the girls have since told me there
>>> stories. I am aware of what Albert's feeling were for you. I'm also aware of
>>> his and your behaviors at this time. I know about things you have done in
>>> your past that you continue to lie about today.....Remeber when you punched
>>> Albert in the face? Remember when you never told your children where you were
>>> moving to? Remember when they asked you questions about their future you told
>>> them to shut up? Remember when you had Laura caring for their needs because you
>>> couldn't get off the computer and care for your children ? Remember when you
>>> brainwashed Brandy into telling her Dad she didn't like me. Remember when you
>>> told those two innocent young girls to give me "the finger" whenever
>>> they saw me? Remember when you made up the story that I was stalking Brandy
>>> at summer camp? Remember when you stole the deposits from the business and
>>> left Albert with $6000 of unknown outstanding invoices? (Like I said, you are
>>> demented.) you never admit your wrong doings - not even to yourself, the
>>> person it would matter most to.
>>> You think you can flee for 4 years, abandon your children and
>>> suddenly step back into their lives and nothing should have changed. You are
>>> such a fool ! This is 2005 ! you don't even know your children anymore. they
>>> are no longer 8 and 11. Della's 15 years old now and she knows when you're
>>> lying . Brandy is not an 8 yr old child anymore either. they are both far
>>> more intelligent than you believe they are.Brandy doesn't remember " how mean
>>> her dad was being" because it never happened; She knows this and so do you .
>>> Albert (or I ) never planned to take the kids from you, nor did he steal the
>>> house from you; The girls know this also and so do you. Nobody ever made you
>>> leave your children, and I certainly never set out to take them . Who do you
>>> think is going to believe that ? ! you live in your own little world where
>>> the only truth is " Liz's word" and unfortunately for you, "Liz" is the only
>>> believer. You need to wake up ! Albert and I talk to these girls regularly
>>> about the things that have happened in the past and present and we tell them all
>>> of the truth, all of the time . Your weekly five -minute artificial phone
>>> conversations have no bearing on what they believe. I personally talk with the
>>> girls about being honest about their feelings in an attempt to teach them that
>>> it is ok to express themselves honestly no matter whom it concerns- that
>>> includes you and me. Your past is catching up with you and your world is
>>> beginning to crash down around you, because you refuse to accept the truth.
>>> We do not trust anything you say or do. It's our job as parents
>>> to protect our children from potential harm , and we view you as
>>> potentially harmful. In case you don't know why we view you as such, here are a few (
>>> just a few) reasons; you've lied to the girls in the past about why you left,
>>> about things their father has done, about sending money for their birthday,
>>> you continue to lie everytime you are confronted with a question from them,
>>> you've stolen there money. you've made up totally fictitious stories about
>>> their safety, you falsely accuse Albert and I of all kinds of ridiculous notions,
>>> you sneak around the country hiding from your responsibilities, you don't
>>> tell your children where you are. for years you don't bother to contact them
>>> consistently, you don't think you should financially support them so you hide
>>> from and lie to authorities. I could go on and on. Simply put - you are
>>> untrustable in every way and I wouldn't allow these girls time alone with you any
>>> more than I would allow them time alone with a stranger. I am protecting them.
>>> Sorry if you have a problem with that, but I'm there parent and that is my
>>> job. I will do my job as a parent .
>>> If I were such a bad person how could you be so willing to leave
>>> your children behind knowing they would be with me? You are more of a "nasty
>>> women" than I could ever possibly be.When you choose to run away I took your
>>> children in, I gave them a home, and I agreed to be involved in their lives
>>> full time.I didn't have to do any of this. I did it for Albert and for the
>>> girls - not for me, and certainly not for you ! I spent the first few years
>>> after your departure giving you the benefit of the doubt and waiting for a
>>> chance to form a cooperative relationship with you. I kept trying to explain and
>>> excuse your leaving to the girls, Albert, and myself. I was open to the
>>> possibility of eventually getting along with you.I was willing to meet you on a
>>> collaborative level, but you were so belligerent it was hopeless. I continued to
>>> wait for some kind of change from you.(stoplyingand/or become cooperative),
>>> but I have since learned different and have given up the wait. You are an
>>> evil, vindictive, cold-hearted women. You've spent your life mastering those
>>> traits and you have them polished them to perfection so you can manipulate
>>> everyone around you - husbands, in laws, children, and friends,etc. But you've
>>> never dealt with Lori Dobson. I won't let you get away with it like your past
>>> associates have.
>>> You have no idea how your circumstances have changed in the last
>>> four years or exactly where you stand now. Your information is seriously
>>> outdated because you have spent the last four years running instead of facing the
>>> facts. Do you think things have remained the same as they were in 2001 when you
>>> left? - four years have gone by ! you cannot be that stupid ! Allow me to
>>> enlighten you : you have no assets left from your life with Albert, you alone
>>> are still tens of thousands of dollars in debt and creditors are looking for
>>> you- and only you, you are no longer married, Law enforcement officials are
>>> looking for you in a few states, and you are in arrears for child support
>>> since may 2002. These are the facts . Face Them !
>>> I am more of a mother to these girls than you are. I understand you
>>> gave birth to them and feel justified in calling yourself mother. I agree.
>>> but sincere mother is much more. That's where I come in. Like I have told you
>>> in a previous letter, I do everything a mother should do for these girls. So
>>> you need to understand that although I have not given birth to these girls. I
>>> am a sincere mother to them. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but you
>>> created its truth when you chose to desert your children leaving them behind
>>> with Albert and me. Discarding your children may be normal and/or excusable
>>> where you come from, but in my family it is wrong. and thanks to Albert and
>>> me the girls will be raised to know this is not normal motherly behavior. Now,
>>> I am here to help Albert by doing what's right. I'll make sure the girls
>>> always know that you are their" birth mother" and what you have done for them.
>>> I do not intend on trying to replace you- I couldn't , I don't have
>>> what it takes to do that! However, I have already taken your place. I am
>>> where you should have been.I have already I have already spent half as much time
>>> raising these girls as you have and I don't intend to stop now. I am here
>>> doing what needs to done for these children- being their caregiver and role
>>> model. That's a mothers job. That's my job.you have made your choice- a
>>> detrimental one- and however you choose to utilize your motherly instincts( if you
>>> have any) from this point on is your business.But I am here to finish the job I
>>> started.I made a commitment to be part of these children's lives and I plan
>>> to stick with it.I don't intend to desert stepchildren and run from my
>>> responsibilities.unlike you I am a devoted parent.
>>> I am truly sorry for the things I have done to you and the
>>> children. I have apologized for my part in the destruction of your family and mine.in
>>> fact, I made apologies to everyone in my life( my children,My
>>> ex-husband,parents,siblings,in-laws, and others.) including myself. I did this so I could
>>> move forward . I have spent the last five years progressing and improving my
>>> life for then. It has been a long journey , but I have moved far beyond that
>>> point of my life,and I am able to hold my head up.
>>> You need to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your
>>> actions.and the choices you made in your life. You spent years ruining these
>>> children( and Albert for that matter) long before I was ever in the picture.
>>> They were so scared , confused, needy and insecure when I met them- because of
>>> you! They may not realize it yet,but quite frankly, getting away from you is
>>> probably one of the most advantageous things that ever happen to them in
>>> terms of becoming the best they can be.Albert and I are working together to help
>>> the girls grow in a more positive direction- to become confident,
>>> responsible and independent.
>>> over the last four years I have tried to
>>> understand,explain,excuse,and tolerate your behavior, but now I am through. I will not allow you to make
>>> fools out of these children anymore, nor am I going to let you do any harm to
>>> them . Our goal is to raise healthy, responsible, and well adjusted children,
>>> and at this point you are not a big part of the equation. Presently you may
>>> continue to call here on Saturdays; honestly. We are currently willing to
>>> tolerate it for the girls sake.But as you know, If you start trouble for either
>>> of them ( mainly Brandy since Della chooses not to speak with you at this
>>> point.) we will terminate the phone calls as we see fit. And in the future if
>>> we feel your calls are becoming detrimental to their health( emotionally or
>>> physiologically) we will put a stop to them altogether. Again, for their
>>> protection !
>>> You can attempt to form your own " physco support group " by calling
>>> Denise ( or anyone else) and dragging her into the mix by crying about things
>>> I say and do to you. I don't trust either of you. nor am I intimidated by
>>> you. Trust me, I know your game and I don't play it. I am doing what's right
>>> and I don't care what others think.
>>> you couldn't find some integrity within yourself if you where offered money
>>> for it. You are a liar ! You are a thief ! And a deadbeat ! I expect an am
>>> prepared for more confrontations with you.
>>>
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>> Lori ( His Girlfriend or Wife)
>>>
>>> The next correspondence was the letter from the court in
>>> pennsylvania telling me there is a hearing on dec 21st @ 3:15pm and I ca do this by
>>> phone conference. I have no resources ands legal aid says at $8.95 an hr I make
>>> too much money. the lawyers scatter like flies. PLEASE, PLEASE help me
>>>
>>> Elizabeth Dobson
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>

#21923 From: MochaDiva36@...
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:54 pm
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
nafcjcal1
Send Email Send Email
 
When you're dealing with the extent and depth of corruption and perversion underlying what is going on through these cases, publicity is not going to do anything. There has been a ton of media exposure, in cycles, since at least the 1990s. Until women get together and stop only focusing on their personal cases, and until mothers stop jumping on the "bandwagon" of the phony advocacy groups who keep "usurping" the agenda for their own motives, nothing is going to change. Sorry ladies, but the only group that is onto how to address this nightmare is NAFCJ. However, for reasons outside the scope of this post, I don't think enough people are really on board right now to keep things moving forward the way that it needs to.


-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com; rfs1215@...
Sent: Sun, Dec 12, 2010 8:27 am
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Yes, but it also prompted a ton of publicity.  You should contact the guy that pulicized her situation and the radio show too.  I wrote about her case in a book I am working on.  I can find his name later today
On Dec 11, 2010 10:38 PM, "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...> wrote:
>
>
> Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
> On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>>
>> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>>
>> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>>
>> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>>
>> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>>
>>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

#21924 From: "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...>
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:04 pm
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
queenmommymom
Send Email Send Email
 
this is correct, everyone needs to band together to make major change.



-----Original Message-----
From: MochaDiva36@...
To: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sun, Dec 12, 2010 10:54 am
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
When you're dealing with the extent and depth of corruption and perversion underlying what is going on through these cases, publicity is not going to do anything. There has been a ton of media exposure, in cycles, since at least the 1990s. Until women get together and stop only focusing on their personal cases, and until mothers stop jumping on the "bandwagon" of the phony advocacy groups who keep "usurping" the agenda for their own motives, nothing is going to change. Sorry ladies, but the only group that is onto how to address this nightmare is NAFCJ. However, for reasons outside the scope of this post, I don't think enough people are really on board right now to keep things moving forward the way that it needs to.


-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com; rfs1215@...
Sent: Sun, Dec 12, 2010 8:27 am
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Yes, but it also prompted a ton of publicity.  You should contact the guy that pulicized her situation and the radio show too.  I wrote about her case in a book I am working on.  I can find his name later today
On Dec 11, 2010 10:38 PM, "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...> wrote:
>
>
> Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
> On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>>
>> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do st uff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>>
>> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>>
>> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>>
>> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>>
>>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

#21925 From: verylonelymom@...
Date: Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:07 pm
Subject: Re: Re: empowering the abused child
verylonelymom99
Send Email Send Email
 
@ Mocha Diva:

You are exactly right. Unfortunately one will have sincere desperation when they lose their children. Once past that stage, and they can look at all the "crooked" things that happened in their case, and "compare" notes with others in their area etc (may not be able to move into this stage because of depression, PTSD). It is hard to move into this higher level for a lot, but until enough people do, the courts and crooked lawyers are successful at keeping us isolated. Nobody wants to hear details of a particular case. They are all so much alike. People's eyes glaze over...I have seen it.

Verylonelymom


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


From: MochaDiva36@...
Sender: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2010 13:54:51 -0500
To: <FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 

When you're dealing with the extent and depth of corruption and perversion underlying what is going on through these cases, publicity is not going to do anything. There has been a ton of media exposure, in cycles, since at least the 1990s. Until women get together and stop only focusing on their personal cases, and until mothers stop jumping on the "bandwagon" of the phony advocacy groups who keep "usurping" the agenda for their own motives, nothing is going to change. Sorry ladies, but the only group that is onto how to address this nightmare is NAFCJ. However, for reasons outside the scope of this post, I don't think enough people are really on board right now to keep things moving forward the way that it needs to.


-----Original Message-----
From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
To: Lisa,Nico,Analis <lisanocero@...>
Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com; rfs1215@...
Sent: Sun, Dec 12, 2010 8:27 am
Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child

 
Yes, but it also prompted a ton of publicity.  You should contact the guy that pulicized her situation and the radio show too.  I wrote about her case in a book I am working on.  I can find his name later today
On Dec 11, 2010 10:38 PM, "Lisa,Nico,Analis" <lisanocero@...> wrote:
>
>
> Katie Tagle case really only got rid of that judge
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Liora Farkovitz <justice4liora@...>
> To: AllaboutR <rfs1215@...>
> Cc: FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sat, Dec 11, 2010 7:08 pm
> Subject: Re: [FAMILYCOURTREFORM] Re: empowering the abused child
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do you all think the Katie Tagle case has changed any of th CA dynamics?
> On Dec 11, 2010 9:22 PM, "AllaboutR" <rfs1215@...> wrote:
>>
>> I would do the opposite. With my kid, I tell him to trust his intuition. If he is hurt, afraid, sad, or happy, I want him to be ok expressing that and know what is ok and what is NOT ok. If he tells me that he is upset about his dad doing something, I validate it without badmouthing him. I just say "I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. I don't know why dad said he would visit and didn't show up or call. Grown ups do stuff and sometimes we don't know why. Grown ups don't have all the answers. All grown ups make choices, but you are a kid and you only make decisions for YOU. You do not control grown ups and you cannot make dad do anything, and nothing you do will change him. I can't make dad do anything either. You can be honest and tell him how he mad e you feel, and that's about it. If he doesn't change, you know for sure you did everything you could. This problem is not unique to you. Sometimes dad and other people make me feel sad and do stuff I don't understand. Thank you for telling me. You do a great job at taking care of you and that's why you are so awesome."
>>
>> Abuse is proliferated through secrets. "reunification" is only good if it is with HEALTHY parents. I would just explain to your daughter that it's a good thing for her to have a good relationship with her dad, but NOBODY is allowed to harm her body. Don't badmouth the guy, but your best defense is to build the kid up and remind her every day how special she is and how much she is worth so that if she does get hurt she will be confident enough to tell a grown up and protect herself----ESPECIALLY if you cannot be there to save her.
>>
>> THE CA courts are brutal. Do not wait for the shit to hit the fan. Review liz's website for information about the "players," google them, check their bar records, find out what organizations they belong to, and figure out if you need to be concerned about case rigging. Don't walk into court blind sided. You will not win anyways. Make a doomsday plan now.
>>
>> --- In FAMILYCOURTREFORM@yahoogroups.com, "kathlynross" <kathlynross@...> wrote:
>>>
>>> My daughter's father "my ex husband" badly beat our daughter with his belt during one of his visitations, she was 3yrs old at the time and now 4yrs old. Now 16 months later the court gives him some visitation back unsupervised. I live in California and the courts here have a goal to reunify the relationship. I understand this goal but what happens when dad has not admitted to the abuse and lies and has others lie? My daughter has only had a few visits since the court changed the restrictions and in just the few visits her demeanor has changed. She says that she will just listen to her dad so he doesn't get up set and hit her again. He has abused her 3 times in her lifetime he is the kind of parent that believes kids should be seen not heard. I have parented her diplomatic ally he is more autocratic. My daughter is showing signs that she doesn't want to rock the boat so she will say what she thinks he wants to hear but that is what got her beat with a belt when he found out she wasn't telling him that she was getting a toy and not where he thought she was. She never lies to me so how do I empower her to just be herself and not think that to be excepted or loved by him she has to say what she thinks he wants to hear?? How do I teach her to not be afraid to say how she feels???
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


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