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  • Members: 310
  • Category: Atheism
  • Founded: Nov 8, 2002
  • Language: English
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Messages 1423 - 1452 of 2851   Oldest  |  < Older  |  Newer >  |  Newest
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#1423 From: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sat Sep 1, 2007 3:35 pm
Subject: File - List Description
FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
Send Email Send Email
 
Im mailing the LIST DESCRIPTION out monthly,
because of so many of the "me too" posts..
And for the off topic posts..
Im open to comments and ideas from the other moderators on this..
I feel 80 to 90 percent freethought jokes is a good target..
This leaves room to post something you find really fully anyway.

NOTE on attaching pictures..
YAHOO will remove them..
I know its work, but you can go to this lists website
(you have to have a yahoogroups login)..
A good place to put them is under pictures
(there is a link on the left side of the main page)..

Thanks
Bobbler



FREETHOUGHT HUMOR.

Humor on the subject of religious fanatics, religious politics,
religious traditions, etc.

This list is mainly for freethinkers, atheists, humanists, etc.
I don’t know if superstitious people will appreciate this kind of humor.

Nothing but free argument, raillery and even ridicule will preserve the
purity of religion (Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Benjamin Rush).

Still, we hope readers can take jokes with a grain of salt when need be,
because there are no sacred cows to freethinkers.   However, the point really
humor.   We can only hope list members will try to post jokes that are funny.

I'm not sure what exactly constitutes positive atheism/FT
in terms of humor.   Maybe it will become clear later.
Although there will be no censorship on this list,
we do encourage *positive* atheism/FT
(if by only setting positive examples ourselves).
IMHO this means walking a careful line, and is something
open to discussion on this list.

NOTE:
"Attachments" are   ! NOT !   allowed,
because of yahoo rules...

Please post FT HUMOR as a web link, text, or dwnld to the files section...

This email list may go 100-percent moderated to save each of us,
from SPAM and OT posts.

#1424 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Thu Sep 6, 2007 12:43 pm
Subject: Pagan Name Generator
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
#1425 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:44 am
Subject: Peter Griffin on Evolution
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
#1426 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:45 am
Subject: WWJD & D ??
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
#1427 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:50 am
Subject: Priest fined for playing with his bells
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
#1428 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:49 am
Subject: Why I'm A Republican
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
#1429 From: Freya <cybercat@...>
Date: Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:02 am
Subject: Fwd: Child Born Without Parents Called New Saviour.
Killertiel
Send Email Send Email
 
>Child Born Without Parents Hailed As New Saviour.
>Ohio Boy Born Without Father Or Mother Seen As Next Christ.
>"100% Improvement Over Past Christ," Says Pope.
>Mel Gibson Bears Gifts To Manger Babe.
>
>Monday Sept. 17, 2007.
>
>Christians worldwide today united in celebrating yesterday's birth in
>a Paucus, Ohio manger of a manchild who has no parents. Pope
>Benedict called the event a one-hundred-percent improvement over the
>birth of his Popeness's earlier saviour, "Jesus Christ," whose
>miraculous powers were limited by his being half-human, on his mother
>Virgin Mary's side of a flawed family.
>
>This past weekend's newborn has no parents on either side of his
>family, and arrived without complications shortly after midnight
>local time on Sunday, to be greeted by awestruck sheep, cattle and
>beasts of burden who knelt in respect at the child's arrival.
>
>A local physician performed a circumcision, and the boy's removed
>foreskin was dispatched via a FedEx refrigerated container to the
>Vatican's sacred relics collection, becoming the seventy-ninth
>foreskin collected, for whatever reason, over the past twenty
>centuries.
>
>The babe was carried indoors by the farm's owners, Mrs. and Mrs.
>Harold Blinster, bathed, and named Joe Bob, in honour of the little-
>known Hollywood motion picture actor Joe Bob Briggs, one of whose
>films, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre II," was being viewed at the time at
>the Blinster home.
>
>Mr. Mel Gibson, himself a little-known Hollywood motion picture
>actor, arrived at the Blinster farm a few hours following the babe's
>birth, bearing precious gifts including a paid-scholarship for Joe
>Bob at the late Rev. Jerry Falwell's Liberty College, Lynchburg,
>Virginia USA.
>
>Other wise men arrived at the Blinster farm throughout Sunday,
>bearing gifts which included Ohio State season tickets, a selection
>of Bob Evans breakfast sausages, and most preciously of all, the
>deleted scenes from "Casino" in which Joe Bob Briggs appears with
>Sharon Stone.

#1430 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:03 pm
Subject: But is it FDA approved ???
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
#1431 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:10 pm
Subject: Noise offenders forced by judge to listen to Barry Manilow
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
#1432 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:31 am
Subject: Once upon a time
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a
perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together
was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving
their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they
noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the
perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to
disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple
loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving
along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect
couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the
accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)






















The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in
the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is
no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling****.






















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman
must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this
illustrates another point: women never listen.










Copyright 1997 - ETNI

#1433 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:05 pm
Subject: Pilgrimmage to the Holy Land
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
We've found the Republican promised land !!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070924/wl_mideast_afp/undiplomacyirangayri
ghts_070924200729

Christian fundies, pack your bags !!!

#1434 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:12 pm
Subject: Re: Why I'm A Republican
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
--- In FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com, "paul" <paul.stoneman@...> wrote:
> http://www.glumbert.com/media/liegirls
>

NONSENSE, Paul!  Those are GIRLS !!!

#1435 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:41 am
Subject: Re: Re: Why I'm A Republican
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
Aw shucks.  Can't I just get to be stupid guy for a day.  Um, or week?  Um, or
um.....what the hell am I trying to say?
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Donna Gore
   To: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 5:42 PM
   Subject: [FT-HUMOR] Re: Why I'm A Republican


   --- In FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com, "paul" <paul.stoneman@...> wrote:
   > http://www.glumbert.com/media/liegirls
   >

   NONSENSE, Paul! Those are GIRLS !!!





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#1436 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:08 am
Subject: Just to try and makeup
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
#1437 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Wed Sep 26, 2007 6:20 pm
Subject: Limbaugh's penis envy
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
http://www.internetweekly.org/2006/06/cartoon_rush_limbaughs_penis_envy.
html

A bunch of good cartoons here.  Click on the caption for the cartoon to
come up.

#1438 From: Freya <cybercat@...>
Date: Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:16 pm
Subject: Re: Just to try and makeup
Killertiel
Send Email Send Email
 
Never mind WWJD - here comes WWJS! >:-}

At 10:08 PM 25-09-07, you wrote:

><http://www.cannabis.net/articles/jesus-cannabis.html>http://www.cannabis.net/a\
rticles/jesus-cannabis.html

- Fearless Freya of Arty Atlanta

REINSTATE THE DRAFT!
It's the best way to drink beer.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#1439 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:03 am
Subject: URGENT !! For the man of the house
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
Today local police found a man's body on a back road.

     They describe him as having a beer belly, saggy balls,
     wrinkly ass and a small pecker. I am concerned.

     Let me know if you're OK.

#1440 From: Scott Waybright <wabes2k@...>
Date: Fri Sep 28, 2007 1:41 am
Subject: Stupid Religious Forwards
wabes2k
Send Email Send Email
 
A friend of mine sent me another one of those annoying emails this
morning. I am not a morning person...

When I say good morning I mean :
G-od
O-ffers us His
O-utstanding
D-evotion to
M-ake us
O -bedient &
R-eady for a
N-ew day with Him.
I-nspire others please, and
N-ever forget
G-od loves you!

If you like it send it to others. God will bless you for doing just
that!!!


I replied with this:

Being your friend
Loses its appeal
On every occasion
When you forward

Moronic
Emails


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#1441 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:54 am
Subject: Re: URGENT !! For the man of the house
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
--- In FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com, "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...> wrote:
>
> Today local police found a man's body on a back road.
>
>     They describe him as having a beer belly, saggy balls,
>     wrinkly ass and a small pecker. I am concerned.
>
>     Let me know if you're OK.

Well when Jesus was hanging on the cross I sure hope it wasn't a cold
day.  He probably lost half his female followers.
>

#1442 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:46 am
Subject: Advice
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
Today I saw the Jehova's Witnesses coming down my street again.  I
quickly spread police tape across my driveway and drew a chalk line of
a body on my doorstep and threw a bunch of Watchtower magazines all
around.  They seem to be avoiding my place so far.

#1443 From: Freya <cybercat@...>
Date: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Subject: Re: Stupid Religious Forwards
Killertiel
Send Email Send Email
 
That was brilliant AND hilarious, Scott!

I have a friend who forwards religious shull-bit like this to me on
occasion. I am often tempted to send him something like that, but I
want to remain on good terms with him. Besides, your clever reply
wouldn't fit me since I am female.

Well, I'm sure theres a way to do L-I-C-K M-E. >:-}

- Fearless Freya of Arty Atlanta

REINSTATE THE DRAFT!
It's the best way to drink beer.

#1444 From: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
Date: Mon Oct 1, 2007 4:13 pm
Subject: File - List Description
FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
Send Email Send Email
 
Im mailing the LIST DESCRIPTION out monthly,
because of so many of the "me too" posts..
And for the off topic posts..
Im open to comments and ideas from the other moderators on this..
I feel 80 to 90 percent freethought jokes is a good target..
This leaves room to post something you find really fully anyway.

NOTE on attaching pictures..
YAHOO will remove them..
I know its work, but you can go to this lists website
(you have to have a yahoogroups login)..
A good place to put them is under pictures
(there is a link on the left side of the main page)..

Thanks
Bobbler



FREETHOUGHT HUMOR.

Humor on the subject of religious fanatics, religious politics,
religious traditions, etc.

This list is mainly for freethinkers, atheists, humanists, etc.
I don’t know if superstitious people will appreciate this kind of humor.

Nothing but free argument, raillery and even ridicule will preserve the
purity of religion (Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Benjamin Rush).

Still, we hope readers can take jokes with a grain of salt when need be,
because there are no sacred cows to freethinkers.   However, the point really
humor.   We can only hope list members will try to post jokes that are funny.

I'm not sure what exactly constitutes positive atheism/FT
in terms of humor.   Maybe it will become clear later.
Although there will be no censorship on this list,
we do encourage *positive* atheism/FT
(if by only setting positive examples ourselves).
IMHO this means walking a careful line, and is something
open to discussion on this list.

NOTE:
"Attachments" are   ! NOT !   allowed,
because of yahoo rules...

Please post FT HUMOR as a web link, text, or dwnld to the files section...

This email list may go 100-percent moderated to save each of us,
from SPAM and OT posts.

#1445 From: Freya <cybercat@...>
Date: Wed Oct 3, 2007 12:29 am
Subject: Fwd: Due to reduced staffing
Killertiel
Send Email Send Email
 
>Oct. 2, 2007
>
>Due to unavoidable reductions in office staff, ME Almighty will no
>longer be able to respond to prayers for divine intervention offered-up
>by supplicants on the following planets: Mercury, Venus, Vulcan,
>Earth, Britney, Mars.
>
>None of the other inhabited planets will be impacted by this staff
>reduction.
>
>Try working things out peaceably among yourselves.
>
>/signed/ GOD

#1446 From: "Donna Gore" <donnajgore@...>
Date: Sat Oct 6, 2007 5:18 pm
Subject: Sign(s) from God(s)
donnajgore
Send Email Send Email
 
This is the comedian Troy Conrad, aka "Comedy Jesus."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf1ZIMcTlW0


http://www.comedyjesus.com/
"Religion is retarded.  Rational comedy for an irrational world."

#1447 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Sat Oct 6, 2007 8:21 pm
Subject: Dubya
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
#1448 From: "Dennis G. Wicks" <dennis@...>
Date: Sun Oct 7, 2007 11:31 pm
Subject: Re: File - List Description
dgwicks
Send Email Send Email
 
Greetings;

Just a few things;

YAHOO only removes pics etc, from archived messages.
People who read the group via email will be able to see them.



Digest mode won't see them either.

So as far as I am concerned send all the pics you want,
each is worth a thousand words, some several thousand!

As far as attachments go, I get them all the time through YAHOO. There
is no prohibition
against them. Just be sure you have a good virus checker and firewall
before opening them.
I run Linux so none of those things can hurt me anyway.

As far as moderation, please don't! It is much easier to vet everybody
that wants to sign up
and if they start spamming and posting ads, porn sites, etc. just delete
them. Most people
who are signing up for devious purposes won't bother to go to the
effort, and it is a lot less
load on the moderators.

Good luck to all!
Dennis


FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com wrote the following on 10/01/2007 11:13 AM:
>
> Im mailing the LIST DESCRIPTION out monthly,
> because of so many of the "me too" posts..
> And for the off topic posts..
> Im open to comments and ideas from the other moderators on this..
> I feel 80 to 90 percent freethought jokes is a good target..
> This leaves room to post something you find really fully anyway.
>
> NOTE on attaching pictures..
> YAHOO will remove them..
> I know its work, but you can go to this lists website
> (you have to have a yahoogroups login)..
> A good place to put them is under pictures
> (there is a link on the left side of the main page)..
>
> Thanks
> Bobbler
>
>
>
> FREETHOUGHT HUMOR.
>
> Humor on the subject of religious fanatics, religious politics,
> religious traditions, etc.
>
> This list is mainly for freethinkers, atheists, humanists, etc.
> I don't know if superstitious people will appreciate this kind of humor.
>
> Nothing but free argument, raillery and even ridicule will preserve the
> purity of religion (Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Benjamin Rush).
>
> Still, we hope readers can take jokes with a grain of salt when need be,
> because there are no sacred cows to freethinkers.   However, the point really
> humor.   We can only hope list members will try to post jokes that are funny.
>
> I'm not sure what exactly constitutes positive atheism/FT
> in terms of humor.   Maybe it will become clear later.
> Although there will be no censorship on this list,
> we do encourage *positive* atheism/FT
> (if by only setting positive examples ourselves).
> IMHO this means walking a careful line, and is something
> open to discussion on this list.
>
> NOTE:
> "Attachments" are   ! NOT !   allowed,
> because of yahoo rules...
>
> Please post FT HUMOR as a web link, text, or dwnld to the files section...
>
> This email list may go 100-percent moderated to save each of us,
> from SPAM and OT posts.
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#1449 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Mon Oct 8, 2007 9:32 pm
Subject: Couontry Squirrels
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
Five country churches in a small TEXAS town:
The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church,
the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting ! to decide what to
do about the squirrels.
After much prayer and consideration they determined that the
squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere
with God's divine will..

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habi t ation in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the
baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped
somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a
position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the
Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days
later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic CHURCH came up with the best and most effective
solution.
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the
church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter


Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue,
but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called
circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

#1450 From: "Dennis G. Wicks" <dennis@...>
Date: Tue Oct 9, 2007 12:05 pm
Subject: Suggest use of tinyurl.com was: Re: Pilgrimmage to the Holy Land
dgwicks
Send Email Send Email
 
Greetings;

If you use tinyurl.com to convert the URL in the original
message below you get

     *http://tinyurl.com/3yrjql

*This is much "friendlier" since Yahoo insists on wrapping
lines regardless of their content.

Just go to tinyurl.com, paste in the long address and click the
button that is labeled "Make Tiny URL" and just like magic,
a short and clickable URL!

Any questions, drop me a note.

Thanks!
Dennis
*

*

Donna Gore wrote the following on 09/25/2007 07:05 AM:
>
> We've found the Republican promised land !!!
>
> http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070924/wl_mideast_afp/undiplomacyirangayri
> <http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070924/wl_mideast_afp/undiplomacyirangayri>
> ghts_070924200729
>
> Christian fundies, pack your bags !!!
>
> _
> .
>
>

#1451 From: "Dick Richardson" <richard@...>
Date: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:48 am
Subject: question if I may
somerset_2
Send Email Send Email
 
Can anti-priestcrafty mystics take part here too :- )

I bet you that there is not a one of you here who have tried to do as much as I
have to rid the world of priestcraft and their religions over the last seventy
years. All talk and laughing and no action will never get the baby bathed you
know.  What do YOU DO ?  And what do you replace their dangerous psychological
and political junk with? Any takers on that amigo's all ?

Merlin of Exmoor.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#1452 From: "paul" <paul.stoneman@...>
Date: Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:36 pm
Subject: Great Quotes
srilookatmyn...
Send Email Send Email
 
G.K. Chesterton:
I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

Gore Vidal:
I'm a born-again atheist.

Henny Youngman:
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no
holidays.

John Dietrich:
The President of the United States summons the nation to church on
Thanksgiving Day to give thanks to "Almighty God" for the abundant
harvest and all other blessings. But what has Almighty God -- I have
no desire to appear irreverent -- what has Almighty God as a personal
being to do with the harvests? If it is he who produces our crops,
then being Almighty there should never be a failure of crops. But
since crops frequently fail, it follows that there is no Almighty
person in charge of them -- unless he brings failure purposely.
Therefore, if God is to be thanked for large crops, he must be blamed
when the crops are a failure. . . . If God sends the rain and the
sunshine which develops and ripens our wheat, who sends the storms
and the insects which destroy much of it? And if he sends both, then
why not thank him for one and blame him for the other?

Roman Tombstone:
Do not pass by my epitaph, traveler.
But having stopped, listen and learn, then go your way.
There is no boat in Hades, no ferryman Charon,
No caretaker Aiakos, no dog Cerberus.
All we who are dead below
Have become bones and ashes, but nothing else.
I have spoken to you honestly, go on, traveler,
Lest even while dead I seem loquacious to you.

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