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A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. "Here," he
points out at one spot, "is where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment of
Yankees. Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks. Down about a
mile, there's another valley where we captured a thousand Union soldiers." A
tourist says, "Didn't the North ever win a battle?" "Yes, ma'am. But not while
I'm driving this bus."
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