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(Thanks to Tonya & Marilyn for this one!)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students....here is
something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from
the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
first thing he said was, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve.. . we have
forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why
he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants).

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and
was He ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent,
asked?

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam
and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set
and it has never changed! But there is reassurance in this story. If
you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake
for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirin"
and "Keep away from children."

CHILDREN (further notes) - You spend the first 2 years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling
them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.


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