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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me
the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I
listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up
to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she
prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."

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One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during
the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some
sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on
his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little
one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our
trashbaskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a
better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I
am."

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on
the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping,"

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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord
as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord
and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles
and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother
and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally,
his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud
in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed
to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by
the door? They're hushers."

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their
mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting
here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can
wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus!"

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A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year old
son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where
a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the
son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy
thought a moment and then said,"Did God throw him back down?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow
up I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor
replied,"but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest
preachers we've ever had."

(OUCH!)

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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the
blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say
what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her
head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to
dinner?"

---------------------------------------------------------------

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Out of the mouth of a 3 year old boy: "Our father, who does art in
heaven, Howard is his name...."

(Credit: John and Rosemary)


****************************************************************

FREE Tax Software!
TaxACT is your ultimate tax solution! Download TaxACT and prepare
your 2001 tax return for free. TaxACT is updated to handle the new
tax law changes to get you the refund you are entitled. No rebates
or coupons required!

<a href="http://directleads.com/ad.html?o=12741&a=cd33456">Click
Here</a>

****************************************************************