WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2009 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued)
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====Part 3 -- HOROSCOPE AND CLOSE

23) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
24) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

23) THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

by Fernando Magnifico

Buongiorno and thank you for all your letters and c-mails of support
while Fernando did his time in the stocks. Do not be afeared my
friends, for after visiting the local Igor to get his back adjusted,
Fernando is now better than ever after the experience, and his
membership of the Prognosticators Guild is renewed. Since the Lady
Asterisk is indisposed following an accident with a pound of butter
and a bag of turnips, Fernando can be your astrologer for today
without having to explain himself to the Patrician!

My friends, it is that time of the year again: Hogswatch is upon us,
and those who have been good peoples can expect the Hogfather to
fill their stockings with presents, and the bad peoples can expect
the bag of bloody bones. Fernando expects that there will be a lot
of bones in Quirm this week! (Ha ha, Fernando is making the little
joke, not all Quirmians are the bad peoples. It is only their
cheating footsballers, and their stinking referees, and their
stupido supporters, who give the rest a bad reputation.) Many people
have said to Fernando, "Fernando, you have such magnificent good
taste, what presents should I buy for my friends and family?". Of
course Fernando does not like to brag, but he does have the
magnificent taste in all things, so listen very carefully, and
between Fernando's taste and the wisdom of the stars your Hogswatch
buying decisions will be easy.

Ciao bella, and happy Hogswatch to all!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Adamant Hedgehog  21 Mar - 20 Apr

Gifts to buy for Hoggers: jewellery, pets
Gifts to avoid: dragons

The best gift for the Hoggers this Hogswatch is jewellery, although
Fernando knows that jewellery is always the excellent gift for all!
Fernando suggests that gold medallions on chains are best for the
mans, the bigger the better. For those on a tight budget, Fernando
can recommend the artisanos on the Street of Cunning Artificers,
who have the most cunning goldish-plating which is almost
indistinguishable from the real thing except in full sunlight, or
when wet, or if you polish it too much, or too little. For the
womens, Fernando knows that the necklaces of pearls are very popular
in Morpork this season, while the ladies of Ankh prefer the sapphire
brooches.

Pets are also the good gift, especially the No Thingfjord Red
parrots, which can be trained to talk. For the small childrens,
kittens and puppies are always popular, especially in the Shades
where they don't get a lot of meat. But Fernando knows that the
Swamp Dragon is to be avoided -- they are so cute when newly
hatched, but when they get large enough to set fire to the kitchen
or eat a week's supply of coal in one day, you will be sorry! Trust
Fernando on this for he knows that this is so!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Half-Eaten Sandwich  21 Apr - 21 May

Gifts to buy for Munchers: food
Gifts to avoid: Wow-Wow sauce

A gift of food is always welcome, especially if it is a big jar of
pickled onions, a ham, or a few tins of preserved peaches. Fernando
is reminded of the wonderful salamis his Uncle Enzo gives away each
year. (Except for his experiment last year -- the melon and pork
salami sounded like such a good idea too.) Pickles and sauces of all
types and flavours are welcome, except for the wow-wow sauce unless
the recipient has special training in handling hazardous materials.
Munchers, if some thoughtless person does not heed Fernando's most
excellente advise and gives you the jar of wow-wow sauce, the
experts at Unseen University will be more than happy to come and
dispose of it safely, especially if you have the cold pork pie or
roast goose.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Herne the Hunted  22 May - 21 Jun

Gifts to buy for Hernians: Gooseberries, forest herbs, garden-inna-
pot kits
Gifts to avoid: anything to do with huntin', shootin', or fishin'

We have reached the end of the Year of the Pensive Hare, and it
seems to many people that life is getting more difficult every year.
Fernando's grandfather is like that -- he is always complaining that
people today have no respect for their elders. Of course, Fernando
knows that when grandpappa was a young man, he evicted his own
mother from her home so he could the winters are colder and the
summers hotter, than the revenoo are more grasping. Of course,
Fernando knows that those people who say such things and Hernians
are always looking for the edge that gives them an advantage in
life, or in some cases, a running start on a postvital existence.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Wizard's Staff and Knob  22 Jun - 22 Jul

Gifts to buy for Staffies: books
Gifts to avoid: books

The best, and worst, gift for the Staffie is a book. As Fernando
knows, books are famous for giving people new ideas, and Staffies
have the very (how do you say it?) ambivalent attitude to the new
ideas. Staffies, especially those who are the actual wizards, have a
great deal of respect for book learning, so long as what they learn
is that they were right all along and they aren't troubled by
learning anything new. So Fernando suggests you choose your books
very carefully indeed before buying for the Staffie. Or if that
seems too difficult, a nice bottle of sherry will do.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Bilious, God of Hangovers  23 Jul - 23 Aug

Gifts to buy for Bilians: wine, beer, spirits
Gifts to avoid: salted pork, greasy meat pies, anything requiring
fine hand-eye coordination

Bilians are the easiest to buy for: anything with alcohol in it will
give many minutes of pleasure (and many more hours of discomfort) to
the Bilian. Fernando knows that this year is a good year for the
Brindisian vino, much better than the rubbish you get from Quirm,
and half the price too. Fernando has a cousin who can get you the
best quality red vino for wholesale prices. Or if you prefer, he
will sell you the bottle of the cheapest plonk, two gallons for a
penny. For an extra penny, he will put it in the fancy bottle with a
gold label. This makes a perfect gift for your unpleasant brother-
in-law who fancies himself the wine snob but actually can't tell the
difference between cat's water and best wine.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Celestial Parsnip  24 Aug - 23 Sept

Gifts to buy for Snippies: fine art, especially those prints of
Caravati's Three Large Pink Women and One Piece of Gauze
Gifts to avoid: iconographs

Fernando knows that Snippies are famous for their honesty, so a good
gift for a Snippie is a bijou piece of genuine art. Not one of those
forgeries that come from Quirm. Fernando remembers a time, oh cara
mia it is almost too painful to tell, when he bought a genuine
Mauvaise etching only to discover, when applying for the inn-sewer-
ants, that it was a knock-off by the infamous Quirmian forger
Etienne de Louche. On second thought, Fernando thinks you would be
better off to give one of those paintings of the big-eyed childrens
on velvet.

The stars warn that it is best to avoid giving the iconograph as a
gift to Snippies, especially if they are like Fernando's cousin
Tomas. It is molto difficult enough for Tomas to avoid getting in
trouble with the Watch for the looking in the ladies' windows at
night, without more temptation, if you take my meaning.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars  24 Sept - 23 Oct

Gifts to buy for Boring'uns: potatoes, cabbage, paperclips, paper
napkins
Gifts to avoid: anything the least bit exciting

Good gifts for the Boring'uns include potatoes, fresh cabbages (but
not pickled -- they are much too strong for Boring'un tastes), or
paperclips and other small stationery supplies. Paper napkins are
also acceptable so long as they don't have anything too exciting
printed on them, like hunting scenes, dogs and cats, or the
Hogfather. Pictures of flying ducks are probably safe, so long as
they are flying *away*.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Androgyna Majestis  24 Oct - 22 Nov

Gifts to buy for Andies: shoes, clothes, sparkly dresses
Gifts to avoid: house plants

As everyone knows, Andies do not have the "green thumb" as they say
in Morporkian, and so house plants are best avoided. Shoes, on the
other foot (ha ha, Fernando has made the amusing joke) are the
excellente gift for Andies, so let Fernando tell you that the six-
inch stiletto heel (for the ladies) or the eight-inch platform sole
(for the mans) will never be out of fashion. My friends, Fernando
knows what you are thinking: "Clothes? Giving clothes as gifts is so
boring!" But do not be afeared, for the stars do not lie, and with
Fernando's help your gifts will be the wonder of Hogswatch, and not
at all like the beige cardigans that Fernando is given by his
grandmama Angelina every year. Three words, cara mia, and your gift
will be talked about until next Hogswatch: Leopard. Skin. Prints. Or
if you prefer, Fernando knows that spangly off-the-shoulder dresses
are a popular gift for Andies of all sexes. Just remember, my
friends: you can never have too many sequins.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Spoons, a.k.a. the Greater and Lesser Spoons,  23 Nov - 21 Dec

Gifts to buy for Spooners: scented candles, perfume
Gifts to avoid: cutlery, especially spoons

The stars are very certain that the scented candles and perfume will
make the good gifts for Spooners, especially for those who live near
the parts of town with the more ... robust ... smells: near the
river, the tanneries, the meat district, and to be honest, just
about everywhere within the city walls. Fernando knows that the best
scents are the subtle ones, like patchouli, jasmine, wahoonie
essence, and the Brindisian garlic-rose. But do not be like
Fernando's Uncle Alfonso, who uses Old Scallatine aftershave. You
can smell him coming three miles away upwind.

Fernando is amazed at how many people, even otherwise blameless
people, who get it in their heads to buy cutlery for Spooners. My
friends, you should listen carefully, for the stars have spoken:
there is nothing amusing about presenting a dozen spoons to a
Spooner at Hogswatch and making a witty remark. That's the sort of
thing that gets you bloody bones in your stockings next Hogswatch.
Trust Fernando on this.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Hoki the Jokester  22 Dec - 20 Jan

Gifts to buy for Hokians: gag-gifts
Gifts to avoid: mint humbugs

People know very well that Hokians like to play pranks and jokes on
others at Hogswatch. Once, Fernando's cousin Mario put a wild
polecat in a box, wrapped it in ribbons, addressed it to Auntie
Rosa-Marie, and left it under the Hogswatch tree. (If there are any
Hokians tempted to try this themselves, remember to leave airholes
in the box. Trust Fernando on this.) But very few peoples are aware
that Hokians also appreciate a good joke or gag-gift played on
themselves. So this Hogswatch, it is a good time to get back on your
Hokian friends and family for all the fake dog-doings, dribble
glasses, anonymous letters to the Watch, and other pranks you've
been putting up with for years. But the stars also give a warning on
what to avoid: ever since the unfortunate ... accident ... on Lord
Downey's birthday two years ago, neither the Assassin's Guild nor
the Patrician have had any sense of humour whatsoever when it comes
to mint humbugs.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Rather Large Gazunda  21 Jan - 18 Feb

Gifts to buy for Gazundians: small household knicknacks
Gifts to avoid: stick-and-bucket

The stars tell Fernando that Gazundians love the small knicknacks.
Fernando was confused when he cast this horoscope. My friends,
despite Fernando's molto excellente Morporkian speaking, Morporkian
is not his native language and some words are unknown to him.
Fernando first thought that this was something like the ladies'
undergarments, or perhaps something that the old mans do, like in
the famous Morporkian song about the old man with the counting
mania. But Fernando has now learned that the knicknacks are the
small things to go around the house, like the plaster ducks on the
wall, the gayly-painted cuckoo clocks, the small statues of Offler,
or the little plaster gnomes holding a mug of beer. Fernando
recommends the soup bowl in the shape of Great A'Tuin. Who would not
love such a present?

The stars say that this is not the auspicious time to give a stick-
and-bucket as a gift, even if they are from Lancre. Especially if
they are from Lancre. Fernando knows that there's more than enough
of that Morris Dancing these days without encouraging it.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Lesser Umbrage   19 Feb - 20 Mar

Gifts to buy for Umbragians: tartan, looms, handicrafts kits
Gifts to avoid: lockpicks, bagpipes, brass knuckles

Umbragians love working with their hands, and as they say, many
hands make light work, or in the case of the Nac Mac Feegle, many
hands make light fingers. Fernando has consulted the stars and they
say that the excellente gift for Umbragians is the makings for arts
and crafts -- paints and canvas, modelling clay, coloured paper,
jelly, or even one of those molto clever Make Your Own Lute sets for
the budding troubadour. How their faces will light up when they
receive these magnificent gifts! Fernando knows that the kindest
thing for Umbragians is to keep them occupied, so their minds will
not turn to the mischief. With a bit of luck, the right Hogswatch
gifts will keep them out of trouble for the whole of the new year.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

24) CLOSE

And there we have it. The Year of the Pensive Hare closes, the Year
of the Happy Goose opens, and may it bring good fortune to you all,
or at least reasonably interesting times (though not *too*
interesting). I'm off on my own holidays now, so we'll see you next
year. Happy New Year, and remember, don't drink and fly!

-- Annie Mac

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 3.
If you did not get all three parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2009 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)
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====Part 2 -- MORE REVIEWS, NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

10) REVIEWS OF NATION AT THE NT, CONTINUED
11) GUARDIAN BOOK CLUB TAKES ON UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
12) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
14) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS: METAQUOTED
15) OUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR -- IN LEGO?!
16) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
17) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS WANTS YOU!
18) AUDIOBOOKS: THEY ATE'NT DEAD
19) GETCHYER 2010 DISCWORLD CALENDAR HEEEERE!
20) A SHIRT TO SCORE IN
21) JACQUELINE SIMPSON PROFILE
22) THE POWER OF GLOING

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

10) REVIEWS OF NATION AT THE NT, CONTINUED

In The Independent:

"Melly Still's production occasionally creates ravishing visual
effects with its three large picture-framed aquaria, which swarm
with scene-setting video footage or purl with blood during moments
of violence. But morally and emotionally, the drama is
undernourished. The tsunami seems to cure Mau tout court of any
fundamental belief in the patriarchal gods of his tribe and his rite
of passage into the assumption of responsibility as adult head of
his nation is insufficiently pitted with deep dilemmas..."

http://tinyurl.com/ycpds49


In the Jewish Chronicle:

"There is a bit of Peter Pan here, a bit of Alice there, and, as
always with Melly Still's productions, the story is told with awe-
inspiring theatricality. The (projected) waves are truly towering
and people are tossed in shark-infested waters like dolls... this is
a must-see for families."

http://tinyurl.com/yztqx7b


In the Wall Street Journal:

"Director/designer Melly Still fills the stage with puppet vultures,
babies and malign spirits, adorns cannibals and tribesmen with
conventional diets alike in witch-doctor masks, and has silly gore
and yucky spitting (pig's milk -- ugh) to make the younger audience
members giggle. Mr. Ravenhill has lots of good jokes -- though the
irreverent parrot gets all the best punch lines..."

http://tinyurl.com/ylmxrc9


In the Daily Mail:

"Nation, based on a novel by Sir Terry Pratchett, has several coups
de theatre. Colour, noise and spectacle it has a-plenty. What it
lacks is a gripping, easily understood narrative to give audiences a
festive treat..."

http://tinyurl.com/yzlt7gx


In the Financial Times:

"Mark Ravenhill's skilful adaptation simplifies and fillets
Pratchett's material but is not afraid to add detail and deepen...
Artistic director Nicholas Hytner has faced accusations of
programming Christmas-season shows at the NT which are not merely
un-Christian but anti-Christian: Coram Boy, War Horse and His Dark
Materials. But what these works and Nation have in common is an
affirmation of the values at the heart of most beliefs, religious or
secular, such as compassion, living and striving together, and
caring."

http://tinyurl.com/yhmk7cd


In the Hampstead and Highgate Express:

"The trick with family shows is to pick a play with a simple story
and thumping heart, which allows the younger audience in. This is
why War Horse and Coram Boy worked so well, but Pratchett's
complicated work is much harder to control or simplify..."

http://tinyurl.com/yfy6fsw


And for those of you who missed it in last week's special edition --
Pterry reviews Nation live at the National:

"Look what they've done to my book": http://tinyurl.com/ybkt5e2

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

11) GUARDIAN BOOK CLUB TAKES ON UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

...though not in a game of football. Here, University College London
professor John Mullan takes a look at the latest Discworld novel:

"Early Pratchett novels were more thoroughly parodies of fantasy
literature, with the essential solemnity of Tolkien and his progeny
satisfyingly brought to earth... Now, 37 Discworld novels in, it is
clearly our world that is paralleled. The Times may officially be
the Ankh-Morpork Times, but it is the newspaper that we all know,
with its lame attempts at populism, its brilliant crosswords, and
its self-consciously measured tones... The book is larded with
allusions and literary jokes... If we are library lovers, like
Pratchett, there are jokes just for us..."

http://tinyurl.com/yj3t6c4


Also in the Guardian Book Club, Pterry writes about how Unseen
Academicals came together for him:

"Initially, I had seen Glenda as playing the nurse role in this
football-flavoured version of Romeo and Juliet. In a way, of course,
she does, flapping around after her young friend, as my father would
put it, like an old hen. But the book really began to take shape for
me when she began to think outside the little box of her life. I
have known many women like her; they mucked around at school, got
married and had some kids, and then realised that they had a fully
functional brain, often fearsomely so..."

http://tinyurl.com/ydybtud


...and faces a host of questions form his readers in live session:

"Many of those who asked questions when he came to speak at the
Guardian book club signalled the familiarity between author and
reader with a cheery salutation. Several testified to the global
reach of Discworld... His readers are even happy for him to tease
them about their questions. What other leading writer of fiction
could respond to a reader's slightly halting question with "I know
what you mean -- and even if I didn't know what you meant, I would
make it up"? ... Pratchett was entirely happy with this
conversation..."

http://tinyurl.com/yd4kz5d

[Editor's note: this was the same session that gave us the extract
in item 3 on page 1 of this issue.]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

12.1 In the Washington Post, English professor David Kirby reviews the
book: "Wordplay abounds in Pratchett's prose (a busman asks a
forgetful passenger, "My fare, lady?"), and his faux-medieval
dialogue sounds like it came straight from Sir Walter Scott's trash
can... A mash-up of 'Harry Potter' and 'Monty Python,' 'Unseen
Academicals' thrums with excess energy, and that's before the game
even begins..."

http://tinyurl.com/yd996aq


12.2 In the Guardian Book Club's blog section, Sam Jordison's long
and thoughtful review:

"Even now, after 20 years of Pratchett chart dominance and the
global phenomenon of the Harry Potter books he so clearly
influenced, the Discworld seems a mighty odd place... I hadn't read
a Discworld novel for a long time before picking up Unseen
Academicals, but it didn't take long for a sense of cosy familiarity
to envelop me. Pratchett's world may make a point of defying all
laws of physics and logic, but it adheres strictly to the rules of
human nature... It's unashamedly silly and straightforward, and it's
the fun of the ride that keeps you going rather than any worry about
where it is taking you. The fun and the humour -- which provides
the last and best explanation for Pratchett's popularity. Because he
is damn funny – though many of the jokes consist of the you-have-
to-be-there type that can't easily be conveyed in a blogpost. He's a
master of the unexpected turnaround, the absurd outcome, the comical
character and the slow-burning, long-running gag... it's hard not to
see reflections of Pratchett's well-publicised struggle with
Alzheimer's in one character's struggle to open doors within his
mind and unlock knowledge placed mysteriously outside his grasp.
That the book should remain so joyous in spite of this dark strand
is testament to Pratchett's unique talent..."

http://tinyurl.com/ycg527v

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

GOING POSTAL IN READING

Progress Theatre presents their production of Stephen Briggs'
adaptation of Unseen Academicals in January and February 2010.

When: 28th January - 6th February 2010, with Matinees on 30th
January & 6th February 2010

Venue:Progress Theatre, The Mount, Christchurch Road, Reading,
Berkshire, RG1 5HL (Progress Theatre is located close to the
University campus, just off Christchurch Road near the start of the
Basingstoke Road)

Tickets: £10.00 (concessions £8.00)  available in advance from
Reading Arts Box Office (telephone: 0118 960 6060)

http://www.progresstheatre.co.uk/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS: METAQUOTED

San Francisco Sentinel columnist Strange de Jim, who normally
collects and features interesting, unusual, funny or plain weird
quotations from real-life celebrities and news, found an extract
from Unseen Academicals worthy of inclusion (warning: contains
spoilers):

http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/?p=50926

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

15) OUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR -- IN LEGO?!

In Manchester (UK), a Lego-building contest offered some surprising
results -- including the face of Terry Pratchett:

"For the second round the contestants had to make portraits of
celebrities in under an hour. The judges' attention was caught by
impressive models of author Terry Pratchett, The Stone Roses singer
Ian Brown and Homer Simpson..."

(includes video)

http://tinyurl.com/yb6ssgg

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

16) IMAGES OF THE MONTH

The Librarian is watching you - armed with a camera!

http://tinyurl.com/yka54dd


...and Igors have breached the dimensional barrier and set up shop
in New York City:

http://tinyurl.com/yehrtyp

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS WANTS YOU!

Your vote, that is. E-zine Total Sci-fi Online is tallying reader
votes for the best science fiction and fantasy works of the year.
There are a number of categories, including Best Novel, and Unseen
Academicals is mentioned as a contender. To participate, email your
vote to totalscifionline@... with BEST NOVEL in the
subject line. Voting for all awards closes on 4 January, 2010 and
results will be announced on 5 January, 2010

http://tinyurl.com/yee9xf7

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) AUDIOBOOKS ATE'NT DEAD

In this interesting article, Good Omens co-author Neil Gaiman
discusses the history of audiobooks, what it's like to record one,
and whether an audiobook is a book or not:

"There are pitfalls you really only discover when you're reading
aloud. Inadvertent tongue twisters or clumsy sentences that make you
curse the author, which for me, is me..."

http://tinyurl.com/yauc7pl

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) GETCHYER 2010 DISCWORLD CALENDAR HEEEERE!

The Book Depository is offering a special price of AUD$16.84. This
includes free shipping to anywhere in Roundworld, and that's cutting
their own throats:

http://tinyurl.com/ycapnob

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) A SHIRT TO SCORE IN

...to score goals, that is. PJSM Prints are now offering Unseen
Academicals football shirts:

"This is a classic long-sleeved T-shirt. For this design we use
Gildan Ultra T's  which are 205gsm in weight. They have taped neck &
shoulder to maintain shape. Double stitched sleeve and waste hems.
100% pre-shrunk jersey cotton. The Image is applied using a hard-
wearing gold Superflex vinyl."

The Unseen Academicals team shirts are available in sizes Medium -
40", Large - 44", Extra Large - 48", Extra Extra Large - 52", and
are also available in "ladies skinni fit". In addition to the UU
shield and logo on the front, you can order your favourite player's
name and number on the back, with a choice of insignia including the
Librarian (number 1), Rincewind (7b), Ridcully (also 1), Macarona
(69), Stibbons (1.618), Trevor Likely (4, of course), Nutt (9), and
Nobbs (No Relation) (5).

Each shirt costs £18.00 plus shipping. To order, go to:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/tshirts/football-1.htm

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) JACQUELINE SIMPSON: A PROFILE

"At the time Terry suggested to Jacqueline that they work together
they were both in the middle of other projects but, 18 months later,
they started work on their book. Their collaboration was conducted
long distance, with discussions and comments being made by telephone
and by email. They would write a draft and then combine each
other's work into one script..."

http://www.oxfam.org.uk/applications/blogs/books/?p=2528

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

22) THE POWER OF GLOING

by Tamar

In UA much is made of the fact that the new football makes a
different kind of noise. Instead of thud, it goes gloing.

But the very first time we read "gloing", it isn't the sound of a
football. It's the sound of a flash of light in the darkness when
a candle is lit.

Terry once wrote about words that sound like things ought to sound
if they made a sound. He specifically mentioned words like glisten,
and glitter, which describe light but if that kind of light made a
sound, it would sound like those words. IIRC glitter was kind of a
hard, sharp-edged brightness, while glisten was more oily, had more
"s" in it.

Gloing. Just a flash of light in the darkness. Lighting a candle in
the darkness is a famous metaphor for bringing hope, for teaching,
for enlightening. If you added a "w" it would be "glowing".

In UU, a university, there is a huge candle. It represents the
centuries of attempts to teach, and even though once in a while the
shenanigans of tradition lead to a temporary darkness, officially
the candle never goes out. The Candle Knave attempts to teach his
assistant. He's not the only one. There's a lot of teaching going on
in UA. Nutt is first taught by letting him loose in a well-stocked
library, and by letting him watch people who know how to do things
well. Some of his lessons were taught by getting him to find them
out for himself. He uses those same methods when he teaches the UA
team.

The old football rules were found in an urn that was being pushed
out of the darkness. The guard unwittingly, but literally, called
for whatever it was to come out - and she came. Glowing.

Glenda taught Juliet, who learned more than Glenda had realized.
Trev even tried to teach Carter a few things. Nutt taught them, they
taught Nutt. Glenda taught a few things to Lady M, too. Pepe and
Madam Sharn also teach.

IMO the main theme of UA is teaching.

The thing is, it's not about football.


(Originally posted to alt.books.pratchett; reprinted with
permission)

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End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 3.
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Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

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Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
DECEMBER 2009 (Volume 12, Issue 12)
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you'd only forget them...
*********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
Editor Emeritus (retd): Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake, Steven D'Aprano
Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: Tiff
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
time)
Copyright 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDEX:

====Part 1 -- ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
02) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
03) PTERRY ON SMALL GODS...AND ALL GODS
04) THE LIFE OF PRATCHETT: A FRESH LOOK
05) WRITERS' GUILD OF GREAT BRITAIN HONOURS PRATCHETT
06) PTERRY NAMED BEST-SELLING "HALF AUTHOR" OF THE DECADE
07) THE COLOUR OF MAGIC: A MAGICAL UK RENTALS SUCCESS
08) NATION AT THE NATIONAL: NEWS AND UPDATES
09) NATION AT THE NATIONAL: REVIEWS

====Part 2 -- MORE REVIEWS, NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

10) REVIEWS OF NATION AT THE NT, CONTINUED
11) THE GUARDIAN BOOK CLUB TAKES ON UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
12) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
14) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS: METAQUOTED
15) OUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR -- IN LEGO?!
16) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
17) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS WANTS YOU!
18) AUDIOBOOKS: THEY ATE'NT DEAD
19) GETCHYER 2010 DISCWORLD CALENDAR HEEEERE!
20) A SHIRT TO SCORE IN
21) JACQUELINE SIMPSON PROFILE
22) THE POWER OF GLOING

====Part 3 -- HOROSCOPE AND CLOSE

23) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
24) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"In my religion, the building of a telescope is the building of a
cathedral."

-- Pterry speaking at the Guardian Book Club Q&A, December 2009

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

02) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Wotcha! This final issue of 2009 is just squeaking in under the
wire, as it's nearly dawn on New Year's Eve down here in Fourecks.

It's been yet another momentous year for all things Pterry, filled
with achievements, kudos, awards, controversy, and the premiere of
the first-ever Pratchett play on one of the world's most prestigious
stages. For those who worried that our favourite author's illness
might have affected the quality of his work, Unseen Academicals has
proved beyond a doubt that there's nothing to worry about, and that
his fertile imagination and wizardly wordsmithing skills are still
at their peak.

It's been a long year in the WOSSNAME forge. As mentioned in last
week's extra, I've been editing and publishing this newsletter for
coming on three years now, and I think it might be time for a brief
holiday. We're definitely not closing our doors, but if anyone out
there of a journalistic bent fancies taking a turn as editor for the
January 2010 issue, now would be the time to speak up...

I'd like to take this opportunity to once again thank Colin Smythe
and the Newshound Gang for their invaluable contributions of news
and views.

Twenty-six years ago, The Colour of Magic burst forth on an
unsuspecting world, and left our world far richer for it. Here's to
another twenty-six years of Pterry and Discworld!

And now, on with the show...

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

03) PTERRY ON SMALL GODS...AND ALL GODS

Here be a video of Pterry addressing a Q&A session of the Guardian
Book Club, in which he answers a direct question about his belief
(or not) in gods. Sparkling, charming, imbued with a lust for life
and a love for all the universe, so obviously still a man at the
height of his intellectual powers, he shapes his answer with
measured thought, delicious wit, and a distinct touch of red wine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qqnTmBTwOo&feature=player_embedded

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

04) THE LIFE OF PRATCHETT: A FRESH LOOK

Here be an excellent, comprehensive and up-to-the-minute biography
of the Master, by his longtime friend and colleague Colin Smythe aka
The Man Who Believed (in Pterry). Well worth a read! You may learn
something new -- like the fact that Sir Pt is writing his *own*
biography now...

http://www.pjsmprints.com/biography/terrypratchett.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

05) WRITERS' GUILD OF GREAT BRITAIN HONOURS PRATCHETT

The Writers' Guild of Great Britain have bestowed 13 awards in 2009
for outstanding script writing in the UK:

"These prestigious annual awards recognise talented UK scriptwriters
across a range of disciplines including TV, theatre, film, radio and
video games... The Writers' Guild Awards are sponsored by the
Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society (ALCS), BBC Writersroom,
BBC Talent Rights Group and HW Fisher & Company, the accountants
with many clients in the entertainment and media world... Sir Terry
Pratchett -- knighted this year for his services to literature -- is
honoured for his outstanding contribution as a children's writer,
although his Discworld series of comedy fantasy novels has hooked
readers of all ages..."

http://tinyurl.com/yatm9r8

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

06) PTERRY NAMED BEST-SELLING "HALF AUTHOR" OF THE DECADE

...which is to say, Pratchett counts as a half because he writes
both children's and adult novels, apparently:

"Hargreaves and Rowling are joined by two and a half other
children's authors in the top 10 -- former children's laureate
Jacqueline Wilson of Tracey Beaker fame at number four, the
perennial Enid Blyton at number 10 and Terry Pratchett, author of
both children's and adult fiction at number five..."

http://tinyurl.com/yey53e4

[Editor's note: at 10,455,397 (£77.2m), that's a very big half! And
if you're wondering who this mysterious Hargreaves is, don't go
racing to your nearest bookseller to check out his fiction style --
see, he publishes study guides, not novels.]


Also, Amazon.co.uk lists Pterry as the fourth best-selling author of
the decade, behind JK Rowling but comfortably ahead of Dan Brown:

http://tinyurl.com/y97dwlv

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

07) THE COLOUR OF MAGIC: A MAGICAL UK RENTALS SUCCESS

"But the runaway success of the story of BBC series Gavin and
Stacey's cross-border romance was not enough to beat the appeal of
Terry Pratchett adaptation The Colour of Magic. The fantasy epic
topped the chart for the most rented TV series..."

http://tinyurl.com/yh25ohw

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

08) NATION AT THE NATIONAL: NEWS AND UPDATES

8.1 EXTENDED RUN

Originally scheduled to end its run in late January 2010, Nation has
now been extended through 28th March. For dates, availability go to:

http://tinyurl.com/yb2s7cd


8.2 SPECIAL OFFERS

a. Best available seats for £30

Call 020 7452 3000 and quote 'Promotion 2406' or visit
http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk and enter promotion code 2406 to
activate your discount. The offer is valid for the following
performances: January 1, 4, 5, 15, 18 (6pm), 19, 20 (subject to
availability)

b. Get over 25% off top two price tickets for Nation at the National
Theatre.

Call 020 7452 3000 and quote promotion 2385 or book online at
http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk and enter promotion code 2385. Top
price will be £30 and 2nd price will be £25 (usual prices £42.50
and £35). This offer is valid on performances from 1 - 28 January
2010. (Excludes all matinees and Saturday evenings. Subject to
availability.)


8.3 ENTRY PASS FOR YOUNG THEATREGOERS: SEE NATION FOR FREE!

The National Theatre is offering free theatre tickets to 15-25 year
olds as part of A Night Less Ordinary, a new Arts Council England
scheme intended "to encourage the next generation of audience
members to get involved in the National Theatre's programme, and to
take advantage of all the extra resources that the NT has to offer"
by providing 618,000 free theatre tickets in over 200 venues across
England to people under 26.

In order to access the free tickets, 15-25 yr olds must register as
Entry Pass members. Entry Pass is free to join, and once registered,
the first ticket to the NT is FREE (for performances Mon-Thu); each
subsequent ticket will cost just £5. Join now to claim your FREE
ticket and be eligible for £5 tickets for future performances.

"Once you have submitted your application form and received your
Membership Card, you should call the Box Office on 020 7452 3000 to
claim your free ticket. All subsequent £5 tickets can be purchased
online using the login details sent with your Membership Card. All
existing Entry Pass members can also claim one free ticket, and can
do so by calling the Box Office from Monday 23 February."

To download the Entry Pass Membership Application Form, go to:
http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/download.php?id=6621

If you have already registered and have received your membership
card, you currently book for the all the shows listed below. Click
on the shows below for more details and for how to book. [The shows
are varied, and include Nation -- Ed.]

For an interactive tour of the National Theatre, go to:
www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/discover

The National Theatre is also interested in encouraging young theatre
reviewers. If you fancy yourself as a thesp-crit of the future,
email entrypass@... "for the chance join
professional critics and have your reviews posted online".

http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/entrypass

http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/entrypass#pginfo


8.4 THE SCOTTISH PLAY...WRIGHTS

Thirteen-year-old Aberdeen twins Hugo and Ollie Inglis have been
shortlisted for the Terry Pratchett Young Film-makers Competition,
in which aspiring young playwrights were challenged to make a three-
minute film adaptation of a passage from Nation. The brothers are
the only Scots out of ten shortlisted entries, and one of five
shortlisted entries in the 10-14 age-group.

"The pair, of Stanley Street, Aberdeen, will find out next week if
they have won the competition. If successful, their film will be
shown at cinemas around the country as a taster to the stage
adaptation of Nation, which is being shown at London's National
Theatre."

"Ollie said 'We can't believe that we might actually see our film in
the cinema. We have definitely won a trip to London to see Nation in
the National Theatre so we're looking forward to that as we are big
Terry Pratchett fans, but to see our film in the cinema would be
brilliant.'"

http://tinyurl.com/ydh7ndw
http://tinyurl.com/yetpcoy


8.5 PHOTOS OF NATION ON STAGE

At Playbill.com, a gallery of twelve shots of Nation in action:

http://www.playbill.com/multimedia/gallery/894


8.6 NATION AROUND THE WORLD: A REMINDER

Tickets for the NT Live cinema screenings of Nation are on sale now.
For a list of cinemas, go to:

http://tinyurl.com/y986aqe

[We're going to see it in February! -- Ed.]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

09) REVIEWS OF NATION AT THE NATIONAL

In The Telegraph:

"Mark Ravenhill's adaptation of the novel, and Melly Still's
production which faces formidable challenges in bringing storms,
giant waves, shipwrecks, and wildlife ranging from a foul-mouthed
parrot to an enormous pig to the stage, isn't in quite the same
league as War Horse... But there are some stunning underwater
sequences and more importantly a script by the usually abrasive
Ravenhill that captures Pratchett's noble mixture of humour and
human sympathy..."

http://tinyurl.com/yzdml98


In What's On Stage (London):

"The ingredients in Melly Still's fitfully spectacular production
are promising enough, with the exploratory British boat washed up on
a devastated island of dead ancestors and flying dolphins: a flurry
of leaves rise to the top of the Olivier and are instantly
transformed into film imagery...  There are brisk contributions from
Michael Mears as a spindle-shanked baddie, Gaye Brown as an
imperious grandmother form the old country and Ewart James Walters
as the tribal leader. But there's no real momentum in the show,
which veers towards self-parody..."

http://tinyurl.com/ygj23ro


In The Times:

"Judging by the cheers that greeted the curtain, the show can more
safely be recommended than (say) the average Treasure Island or
Aladdin; but the narrative can be confusing, the political
correctness irksome, and much else as wishful and sentimental as,
well, Treasure Island or Aladdin. Mark you, the director-designer
Melly Still's production is often as visually captivating as her
Coram Boy..."

http://tinyurl.com/ylzdk3g


In The Guardian:

"It is all staged with a hectic panache. Still and her co-designer,
Mark Friend, have created a stage dominated by three translucent
screens through which we glimpse floating corpses, swimming
dolphins, predatory man-eaters... Gary Carr and Emily Taaffe as Mau
and Daphne disport themselves with great dignity and there is a nice
study of a talking, walking parrot from Jason Thorpe..."

http://tinyurl.com/ylj35rg

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 1, continued on Part 2 of 3.
If you did not get all three parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
24th DECEMBER 2009
*********************************************************************

SPECIAL EDITION DECEMBER 2009: A LETTER AT HOLIDAY SEASON

*********************************************************************

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR: THIS TIME, IT'S PERSONAL

Happy Hogswatch/Christmas/Hanukkah/Yuletide/holiday-of-choice to you
all!

This month's issue of WOSSNAME will be somewhat delayed, partly
owing to the holiday season and partly owing to your Editor being a
grumpus. But fear not, it shall arrive...eventually...

First off, some cheering news: Joe Schaumburger ate'nt dead! I
received a Christmas card and letter from him yesterday. Sadly, his
health has continued to decline, and in addition to yet more heart
attacks he had a bout of pneumonia that nearly finished him, but he
continues to defy doctors' predictions by stubbornly refusing to
keep his appointment with Bill Door just yet. Joe has been keeping
up with WOSSNAME, and has asked me to give his holiday greetings and
best wishes to all you readers out there. Hang in there, Joe!

In a less cheery vein...it is said, possibly by sages in the
Trollbone Mountains, that some are born to publish WOSSNAME and some
have WOSSNAME thrust upon them. As you know, O readers, I fall into
that latter category. In May of 2007, founder Joe Schaumburger
became too ill to carry on as chief of WOSSNAME and handed the baton
to me; I'd already been doing most of the donkey-work for quite some
time before that, so I knew at least some of the ropes, but at the
time neither Joe nor I had much hope for the continued existence of
this monthly newsletter since I, too, have chronic health issues.
Somehow, with the help of the Newshound Gang -- and for more than a
year now, Fernando the monthly horoscope writer -- I've managed to
carry on, getting an issue out every month just as Joe did. I said
I'd step aside as soon as a proper editor came forth, but none ever
did, and over the past two and one-half years I think I've turned
out to be a reasonably proper editor myself.

But.

In private life I'm known as someone who never minces words when
giving an opinion, good *or* bad, and who doesn't suffer fools
gladly -- but as the editor of WOSSNAME I feel it incumbent upon me
to look (as impartially as possible) for the good (if any) in
poorly-presented or agenda-ridden reviews of Terry Pratchett's
work, and refrain from suggesting that the Assassins' Guild should
be contacted in regard to certain arts critics... and this month,
I've found it well-nigh impossible to do so. Oh, I've no cavil with
legitimate criticisms, but when a reviewer is patently sniffing
balloon juice or obviously wrong-headed, it's very hard for me to
hold my temper -- yet slinging brickbats is not what I think
WOSSNAME is meant to be about.

Last month we featured several intelligent punter reviews of the
first performances of Mark Ravenhill's adaptation of Nation at the
National Theatre, London. Both reviews contained some criticisms of
the play, but were approving overall, and both reviews were written
by people whom I know personally and whose judgement I respect. But
then came an avalanche of press reviews, almost all of them so
scathing -- and so off-message -- that I'd been avoiding doing my
editorial duty of by quoting extracts and providing links, because I
felt the volleys of negativity were too upsetting.

And guess what? So did the author. So he went to see Nation at the
National, and got his own review published.

I entreat you to read Sir Pterry's entire review (see below), and
bear it in mind as you read the other press reviews in the December
WOSSNAME when it arrives. Apparently he saw the same play our
November reviewers did -- and most of the press reviewers didn't,
from the look of it.

And now I'm off to partake of Hogswatch cheer. May you enjoy your
holidays, and here's to a brand new year. And if the December issue
of WOSSNAME arrives just after the turn of the calendar, we'll see
you in the Year of the Happy Goose!

-- Annie Mac


*  *  *     *  *  *     *  *  *     *  *  *     *  *  *


THE AUTHOR AS THEATRE CRITIC: "LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO MY BOOK"

And so it came to pass that Sir Pterry finally saw the National
Theatre's production of Nation, and wrote about it in The Telegraph.

Here are some extracts from his review:

"Last Wednesday, I went to the National Theatre to see the play
Nation, based on my book, which by a happy coincidence was also
called Nation. It is, I think, the best book that I have ever
written or will write; it is certainly the one that took most
effort... when the play opened to the press two weeks ago, it got
rather more kicks than plaudits. There was praise for the staging,
but the play on the whole got such epithets as 'racist',
'politically correct' and 'fascist', although to be fair, I think
that whoever said that was probably confused.

"All this for the play of a book that was universally well-received
last year and this year won the Printz Medal, given by the American
Librarians Association and the highest US award for young adult
literature that it is possible for a British author to win. I know
some of those librarians. They are tough cookies. Racism, fascism
and overt PC wouldn't stand a chance...

"I was so depressed that fellow authors rallied around as a kind of
small support group to say, 'Don't take any notice of the critics'
and to remind me that the author doesn't get blamed.

"So, last week, I walked into the theatre like Wyatt Earp on a
deceptively quiet street in Tombstone, my finger already on the
trigger..."


To read the entire review and see what Pterry thought, go to:

http://tinyurl.com/ybkt5e2

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 5 -- LATE BREAKING NEWS, CLOSE

29) LATE BREAKING NEWS
30) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

29) LATE BREAKING NEWS

29.1 IF NOT YOU, THEN...

The first six songs from Only You Can Save Mankind: the Musical are
now available to purchase as downloads. Official online release of
the entire musical is 23rd November 2009; CD release will be on 2nd
December 2009.

To buy from iTunes:
http://tinyurl.com/ya2xof8

To buy from DittoMusic:
http://www.dittomusic.dloadshop.com/shop.asp?artistid=591
or http://tinyurl.com/yb6wj3k

Remember, the producers are donating 10% of the profits from sales
to the Alzheimer's Research Trust.

http://www.ifnotyouthenwho.com/


29.2 MORE REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS...

Classics doctoral student and Discworld fan Juliette Harrisson
reviews Unseen Academicals with an eye to Roundworld-based classical
references. This is an interesting but very spoilery piece, so I
won't mention *which* references...

"I liked this book a lot - not up there with the absolute best of
Discworld, but definitely one of the good 'uns. I especially loved
how 'real' many of the characters felt - as if you expect to see
them walking down the street before the next football match..."

http://tinyurl.com/yehqgxz


Sci-fi London reviews Unseen Academicals:

"Despite the ever-presents in the cast, Lord Vetinari and Arch
Chancellor Ridcully among them, Pratchett never forgets that they
need to grow and learn with each book and because he treats the new
characters as well as the old stagers they are all fully rounded and
realised and you care about them from the first page.  Another
amazing thing for me was how he absolutely gets what football is
about - for the fans and the players - and I might just eat one of
his hats if he turns out to be a lifelong fan 'cos he just doesn't
strike me as one. But then that's the beauty of his books, they fool
you again and again. Just when you think you know what's coming
he'll surprise you with something out-of left-field and it's those
delightful moments that keep the fans coming..."

http://tinyurl.com/yfdn84s


29.3 GOOD OMENS: STILL A CONTENDER

Terry Gilliam, interviewed on Fearnet, says the mooted film of Good
Omens could still happen:

"It's still sitting out there. It needs a lot of money though..."

http://tinyurl.com/yk4nc7p


29.4 ...AND THE PARROT STOLE THE SHOW

A blog review by Culture Witch of the Nation at the NT preview
performance:

"Melly Still and Mark Friend have done a great job of making the NT
stage into a tsunami wrecked tropical island that's believable,
and Mark Ravenhill has adapted Terry Pratchett's Nation in an
imaginative way... The novel has been changed a little, but I
surprised myself by being surprised at how touching the end is.
While providing entertainment and fun, Nation also gives us
something to think about..."

http://tinyurl.com/ybnq2ja


29.5 DRUMMERS DOWN UNDER SYDNEY MEET-UP

There's now a Broken Drummers group in Fourecks! Drummers Down Under
are based in Sydney and will be meeting on the first Monday of every
month for chatter, cheer and possibly scumble, or at least
EcksEcksEcksEcksian beer, at Maloneys (situated at the corner of
Pitt and Goulburn, for you Jograffy-canny Sinneysiders). The next
meet-up will be at seven p.m. on Monday 7th December, and Lauren,
who is in charge of drumming up the Drummers, assures me that "there
will probably be some Hogswatchery organised" for the evening.

If you want to know more about the Drummers Down Under, or have
questions about, say, how the Hogfather manages to fit down the
average Fourecksian split-system air conditioner on Hogswatchnight
or where the best pubs in Didjabringabeeralong are, email Lauren:
simlauren (at) hotmail (dot) com.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

30) AND IT'S GOODNIGHT FROM...

...a very tired Editor. Huge thanks as always to the Newshound Gang
and the inimitable Colin Smythe. See you next month for a (we hope)
bumper Hogswatch issue! And then it's January holiday time for me...

-- Annie Mac

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 4 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 4 -- ...AND MORE, AND HOROSCOPE

25) CONVENTION NEWS
26) PRATCHETT READING CHALLENGE
27) ACTION REPLAY: RIM TO HUB'S DISCWORLD PLAYLIST
28) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

25) CONVENTION NEWS

25.1 DWCON 2010 UPDATES

Hi all,

Your friendly neighbourhood hotel team here! It seems that everyone
is really looking forward to the Convention, and most of you are
nice and organised, because we have had a record number of hotel
bookings compared to this point before previous conventions.

We have now booked out just over 80% of the rooms available at the
Birmingham Hilton Metropole, and certain room types (for example
family rooms) are nearly booked up. So if you are wanting to stay at
the convention hotel and haven't already booked your room, now is the
time to do so! Once all the rooms are full, they're full...

Bear in mind that you do not have to pay any money in advance, and
that you can cancel or change your booking up to 48 hours before you
are due to check in. You will not pay any money until you check out
(credit card details are taken to secure the room only).

Don't forget that by booking a room in the convention hotel you can
make sure you're right there for all the action (it's not unusual for
bar parties to be in full swing in the wee small hours of the
morning), and the booking also includes the delicious Hilton buffet
breakfast. That should be a good incentive to get out of bed after a
late night having fun!

A reminder of the convention special rates:
Single room £60 per person per night (£60 per room per night)
Double/twin room £50 per person per night (£100 per room per night)
Children under 16 Free accommodation if sharing with one or two
adults (£60 or £100 per room per night)
Half price accommodation if in their own room (£30 or £50 per
room per night)

If you have any questions, you can reach the hotel team at the
following address: hotel@...

Also, make sure you check out our new feature on the convention
website, a Discworld Guide to Birmingham!

With regards,
The Hotel Team


Price Rise Reminder

I just wanted to remind you all that the next price increment for
membership of the convention kicks in on Sunday November 1st. As per
https://www.dwcon.org/static/membership Full Membership rises from
£50 to £55 and Concessionary Membership moves from £33 - £36.
Supporting stays static at £20, but obviously the price to later
convert to a full membership will increase!

It should also be noted that we're now up at around 625 members (the
computer glitch in assigning numbers is being filled in quite
rapidly), so while there's still a ways to go to our 800 cap, the
gap is getting smaller! We're really looking forward to August 2010
and along with a few more guests we hope to announce the first draft
of our Programme well before the end of the year.

As always, if you have any queries, please let us know!
Membership -- membership@...
Hotel -- hotel@...
General Queries -- info@...

Regards,

Brian,
Chairman, Discworld Convention 2010


25.2 IDWCON REPORTS

Author and IDWcon guest Peter Morwood had a very good time indeed:

"D and I had a great time -- including one especial benefit, being
able to sit and speak to Terry for the first time in too long. We
didn't have any opportunity to chat with him at all during the Tempe
convention, so really enjoyed being able to just talk... Much beer
was consumed over the weekend (of course) and I'm not the only one
to think that Sir T. Pratchett, all in black with a white beard,
looked very well matched by the pint of Guinness in his hand. He
also seemed very at ease, so much so that he decided to extend his
stay at the hotel..."

http://petermorwood.livejournal.com/26414.html


Blogger booksareadrug has posted a nice photo of Pterry talking to
fans in a casual setting at IDWcon:

http://booksareadrug.livejournal.com/27399.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

26) PRATCHETT READING CHALLENGE

Australian blogger Margaret "Marg" Bates has a challenge for
Pratchett fans:

"As far back as March 2007 I blogged about the possibility of
reading the Discworld series in its entirety, but it never happened.
You know that means just one thing! Time for a Terry Pratchett
reading challenge! The challenge will start from 1 December 2009 and
run through to 30 November 2010. There are several different levels
of participation for you to choose from:

1-3 books -- Cashier at Ankh-Morpork Mint
4-5 books -- Guard of the City Watch
6-8 books -- Academic at the Unseen University
9-10 books -- Member of Granny Weatherwax's Coven
10-12 books -- Death's Apprentice

"You can either be reading the books for the first time, rereading,
or even watching the TV adaptations if you like! As long as everyone
has fun I will be happy! Please also do not feel limited to only
reading the Discworld books as any books by Terry Pratchett will
count for this challenge. Each month, I will put a Mr Linky up so
that you can link your reviews or Pratchett posts if you want to do
more general posts say on individual characters, places, events etc.
To sign up just leave a comment on this post with a link to your
intro post if you do one. I look forward to seeing what people post
about over the next 12 months."

http://tinyurl.com/y954auh

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

27) ACTION REPLAY: RIM TO HUB'S DISCWORLD PLAYLIST

Some months ago, WOSSNAME featured a request from the lovely and
long-standing From Rim to Hub website, calling to Discworld fans to
recommend music for any or all Discworld characters and whatnot.
Time to have another look:

"This is where you'll find music that relates to (hopefully,
eventually) most aspects of the Discworld universe created by the
seriously awesome and ridiculously brilliant Terry Pratchett. This
playlist is created by fans for fans, so if you've got a song you'd
like to share, please e-mail fromrimtohub@... with the song
and possible tags. Browse the Song Categories, listen to the Latest
Additions, or just grab Life by the trousers (of Time) and listen to
whatever comes, but most importantly, have fun! Suggestions welcome!
Email fromrimtohub {at} gmail {dot} com."

http://www.fromrimtohub.com/playlist/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

28) DEFINITELY NOT THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

[Editor's note: due to circumstances beyond our control, Fernando
Magnifico is unable to perform his duties as astrologer for WOSSNAME
this month. We are however, very happy to reprint an interview with
Fernando by Miss Sacharissa Cripslock of the Ankh-Morpork Times.]


Fernando: Buongiorno, signorina Sacharissa! You must please be
forgiving Fernando for his rudeness in not getting up to greet you,
but as you can see Fernando is in the stocks.

Sacharissa: That must be very uncomfortable, Mr Magnifico.

F: Please, you must call me Fernando! Yes, Fernando can tell you
that this is not as pleasant as the stocks they have in those
exciting private clubs in The Mews. Trust me on this, for Fernando
knows it is so! It is the molto uncomfortable, but do not be
afeared, for Fernando is willing to suffer for the sake of providing
the accurate horoscopes for his readers.

S: I'm sure your readers are wondering why you are in the stocks.
How is this related to you being an astrologer?

F: My dear friends, as you may remember, Fernando's membership of
the Guild of Prognosticators, Soothsayers, Fortunetellers,
Oneiromancers, Haruspices and Cunning-Men (divers wizards, witches,
priests, priestess and Mrs Cake exempted) had expired, probably
because of the dastardly actions of that mangiatore del formaggio
Carlos, please excuse Fernando's Quirmian. But Fernando is not one
to let his dear readers down, and so last month he bravely girded
his magnificent loins for the battle with the Guild and wrote the
horoscopes, regardless of all danger to himself. Consequently, the
Guild has made the complaint to the Patrician, who has sentenced
Fernando to spend a week in the stocks for the unlicensed
prognosticating.

S: With two days still to go, how are you coping with the
experience?

F: It is very hard, like Fernando's muscles, but Fernando is
sustained by one thing: his many wonderful friends who have
supported him during this terrible period, and the love of his
readers.

S: That is two things, Mr Magnifico.

F: Yes, you are right, Fernando can see why you are the Ankh-Morpork
Times' grandissima investigative reporter! Fernando is sustained by
the two things: his wonderful friends and the love of his readers.
And his dedication to his art. No, perdone me, that is three things.
Three things: friendship, love, and dedication. And knowing that
Rail Youventis beat the Quirmians three goals to nil last week. Four
things! Friendship, love, dedication, Youventis, and the knowledge
that the Guild has finally found Fernando's membership renewal, so
when this is over, Fernando can practice the casting of the
horoscopes again.

In any case, Fernando has been in worse places, like the two weeks
he spent as the captive of pirates in the Bay of Mante.

S: You were held prisoner by pirates?

F: Perhaps not so much a prisoner exactly, but Fernando's heart was
held captive by the terrible and beautiful Pirate Queen of Mante,
the dreaded Captain Roberta. It was a terrible time for Fernando, he
was exhausted every night by the ordeals Roberta and her all-lady
pirate crew put him through, and of course at the end of it all, his
heart was broken when Captain Roberta tired of him and put him
ashore with nothing but a week's worth of food, one hundred gold
pieces, a donkey, and a letter of recommendation to Princess
Katherina of Orohai.

S: If we can return to the stocks, many of our readers are
fascinated by the range of punishments available to Lord Vetinari.
Hardly a week goes by without The Times getting a letter or two from
somebody complaining that his Lordship is too soft on criminals and
that they could devise a much better punishment themselves. For some
reason they often involve red-hot spikes, elephants, or sometimes
both at the same time. What are your thoughts on the matter?

F: Fernando is not the how do you say career criminal, and it is
only due to the unfortunate mistake that he is here! But Fernando
has travelled much, and seen the many cities and towns, and when you
are as much loved as Fernando, occasionally you find the husband or
father who is not so understanding of the matters of the heart. So
you can trust Fernando on this when he says that these are the best
stocks in the world, second only to the stocks of Brindisi. And that
is only because the Brindisian craftsmans take the time to carve the
educational pictures in the stocks for the benefit of the prisoner.
As a small boy, Fernando learned much about anatomy from the
carvings on the Brindisi stocks. You should have seen the faces of
the prisoners when they noticed the carvings!

S: I'm sure Disgusted of Ankh will be pleased to read your kind
words about Morporkian stocks. And the elephants?

F: Fernando loves all animals, especially the dogs, but perhaps not
the same way that some of the stray dogs have come to love
Fernando's leg. If Fernando didn't know better, he would be sure
that one of the dogs was (how do you say it?) egging the others on.
A mangy terrier with a particularly estupido look in its eye.

S: While you are unavailable, what do you suggest your readers
should do if they need a horoscope cast?

F: Of course Fernando would normally recommend that they should
contact the most beautiful and talented Lady Asterisk for their
astrological needs, but Fernando is molto saddened to say that Lady
Asterisk has been bitten by a jelly and cannot write the horoscopes.
For those who cannot wait for Fernando to be released, there are the
many other astrologers in the Guild. Fernando knows that there are
the many people -- not Fernando you understand, but the other people
-- who say that these astrologers (not Fernando, the other
astrologers) could not find their own bottom with the help of a
orrery, let alone the right constellation. Fernando knows that this
is not true, if it was a simple enough orrery. And cara Sacharissa,
let Fernando reassure your readers that these other astrologers
hardly ever confuse the Celestial Parsnip with Wezen the Two-Headed
Kangaroo or the Small Boring Group of Faint Stars. If your needs are
few and your expectations are low, Fernando is sure that they will
be more than adequate.

S: Thank you Fernando, and I'm sure I speak for all your readers
when I say I hope your last few days in the stocks go by quickly.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 4 -- continued on Part 5 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 3 -- MORE ODDS AND SODS, PLAYS NEWS, ETC.

16) UNSEEN SEEN ON SOUTH AFRICAN BEST BOOKS OF 2009 LIST
17) SILENCE THOSE BELLS! IT'S RTFM DARK MORRIS TIME
18) MORE NEW DISCWORLD MINIATURES
19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
20) NIGHT WATCH: PERFECT FOR HIGH SCHOOL LIT CLASSES
21) ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
22) EVERYTHING BUT THE ELEPHANTS

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

16) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS ON SOUTH AFRICAN BEST BOOKS OF 2009 LIST

"His daft account of the Unseen University's foray into the world of
soccer, or foot-the-ball as they occasionally call it, is romantic,
absurdist philosophical, totally Discworld."

http://tinyurl.com/yczqogb

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) SILENCE THOSE BELLS! IT'S RTFM DARK MORRIS TIME

"At sunset on Halloween, the Recently Traditional Fictional Morris
troupe [met] at the Somerville Community Growing Center on Vinal
Avenue to dance the AntiMorris, a spoof on the English tradition of
Morris dancing. Morris dancers celebrate spring by dancing at
sunrise in the spring. The idea of having another Morris dance in
the fall came from fantasy writer Terry Pratchett, who suggested
having one without the other created imbalance. 'We did appreciate
the balance. It is common to kind of have an appreciation for the
seasonal nature of things,' said Jeremy Kessler, who started the
RTFM in 2001 and had been involved with AntiMorris dancing since
1999 in Chicago... Although not as long-held as the tradition of
Morris dancing, the AntiMorris is starting to catch on, Kessler
said. This year, nearly 100 people, including dancers, showed up
for the AntiMorris..."

http://tinyurl.com/yddtcqe

[Editor's note: there is of course another, more er um traditional
meaning for the acronym "RTFM". And I suspect that the dancing of
Dark Morris would definitely be something you'd want to read the
manual *very carefully* for before attempting the dance...]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) MORE NEW DISCWORLD MINIATURES

Tabletop Gaming News reports on the latest soon to be released
Discworld miniatures:

http://tinyurl.com/ye7w8dy

Photo of the miniatures -- Lancre Witches, the Bursar, Dibbler:

http://tinyurl.com/y9y7dxd

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

MASKERADE IN KIDDERMINSTER

The Nonentities of Kidderminster present their production of
Maskerade for late 2009.

Described as "Phantom of the Opera rebooted for the Tarantino
generation", Maskerade will run from 29th November until 5th
December, with an extra matinee performance on Saturday 5th
December. Following Maskerade, The Nonentities will be helping
patrons to get into the festive mood, with their traditional
Christmas entertainment at The Rose, from December 9 to 12 at
7.30pm. Kerena Taylor, publicity manager for the Rose, says: "The
promise is to bring music, stories, poems, reading and singing. If
that isn't enough to tempt people out on a cold wet winter's
evening, included in the ticket price is a mince pie and a glass of
mulled wine."

When: Sun 29th Nov to Sat 5th Dec 2009
Time:  Matinee curtain up 2.30pm, evening curtain up 7.30pm
Venue: The Main House, Rose Theatre, Kidderminster

Tickets: Monday to Thursday £8.00, Friday & Saturday £8.50
Concessions: Senior citizens, students, and children under 16 years.
Group Bookings: Buy 13 seats or more and get a reduced price.
Available from Monday to Thursday: Reduction of 50p per ticket
Only one discount can be applied to any ticket

Box Office: Till 31st December 2009, opening hours are 10am-4pm
Monday to Saturday. From 4th January 2010, opening hours will be
9am-3pm Monday to Saturday. Telephone bookings may be paid by credit
or debit card

To buy tickets call 01562 743745 or visit rosetheatre.co.uk

http://tinyurl.com/ybhfsem
http://rosetheatre.co.uk/CurrentSeason/Maskerade/about.htm


MASKERADE IN LONDON

The Tower Theatre Company present Stephen Briggs' adaptation of
Maskerade, directed by Chris Peregrine, at two London locations next
month: at the Bridewell Theatre from 8th-12th December, and then at
Theatro Technis from 15th-18th December.

Venue 1: Bridewell Theatre, Bride Lane, off Fleet Street, London EC4
(nearest Tube station is Blackfriars)
When: 08-12 December 2009
Time: Tues-Sat 7.45pm, plus Sat Matinee at 3pm
Tickets: £11
Tower Theatre Box Office: 020 7353 1700

Venue 2: Theatro Technis, 26 Crowndale Rd, Mornington Crescent,
London, NW1 1TT (nearest Tube station is Mornington Crescent)
When: 15-18 December 2009
Time: Tues - Sat 7.45pm, plus Sat Matinee at 3pm
Tickets: £11
Tower Theatre Box Office: 020 7353 1700

http://tinyurl.com/ye5vbpl


CARPE JUGULUM IN GLASTONBURY

A reminder -- Straight From the Heart Productions' presentation of
Carpe Jugulum takes place next month.

Venue: Glastonbury Assembly Rooms, High Street, Glastonbury BA6 9DU.
When: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday 9th-12th December,2009.
Time: Doors open at 7:30pm for an 8pm start.
Tickets: available from Gothic Image, Glastonbury, or email:
ANICECUPOFTEAANDBISCUITS@...

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) NIGHT WATCH: PERFECT FOR HIGH SCHOOL LIT CLASSES

In Mind Meld, SF Signal's weekly online panel, various well-
respected writers and educators were asked "If you were teaching a
high school literature class, which science fiction or fantasy books
first published within the past 10 years would you include on your
syllabus?" David Bradley, longtime editor of the excellent and
league-leading SFX Magazine, included Night Watch as his choice of
choices:

"'A comic fantasy? One part of a series that has almost 40 books in
it? What are you thinking, Bradley?! Go to the headmaster's office
at once!' Sorry sir, but this is a masterful piece of writing, with
a theme of civil unrest for us to discuss, believable central
characters, and an unusual time travel-based framing structure.
There are good reasons why it received the Prometheus Award in 2003,
had a place in the BBC's top 100 'Big Read' survey of the UK's
favourite books, and was nominated for a Locus Award... there is
plenty for a 21st century reading group to talk about: political
assassinations and the effect of the state running a secret police,
the relationship between the regular police and the military, the
ways in which rebellions escalate and how demonstrations can turn to
rioting and bloodshed..."

http://tinyurl.com/ykk89z8

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) ALZHEIMER'S NEWS

Here be a round-up of some recent Alzheimer's research news and
fundraising events, taken from the Alzheimer's Research Trust
website. Since Pterry donated a million dollars to the Trust, the
least the rest of us can do is be aware of where some of that money
is going!

CHARITY CYCLETHON

Staff at ESPC property marketing services in Edinburgh, will take
part in a 24-hour endurance challenge on Friday 4 and Saturday 5
December, to raise money for the Alzheimer's Research Trust and
Radio Forth's Kids appeal. The challenge will start and finish when
the cannon is fired at 1pm from Edinburgh Castle. All the action
will take place in the ESPC showroom in George Street, where a team
of seven enthusiastic staff, of varying fitness levels, will run the
equivalent of two marathons and cycle for over 14 hours. Between
them they will cover over 330 kilometres (over 200 miles), without
even leaving the premises.

Neil Harrison, ESPC Marketing Manager, explained the thinking behind
the event: 'As we get so many people passing by our windows, day and
night, a group of staff suggested this would be the ideal
opportunity to attract their attention with a fundraising event. We
chose the charities that are closest to our hearts through our own
personal experiences. We are hoping that anyone out doing their
Christmas shopping or celebrating the festive season will drop by
and give us their support.' Charlotte Garner, Community Fundraiser
for the Alzheimer's Research Trust, said: 'We are very grateful to
the staff at ESPC for the time and effort they are putting into this
inventive challenge. By raising money for vital dementia research
they are helping to bring a cure ever nearer. We wish them every
success and hope that passers-by will give them plenty of
encouragement and keep them motivated.'

NEW APPEAL FOR RESEARCH FUNDING

University College London scientist Dr Selina Wray, together with
Strictly star Lynda Bellingham, is to front a national appeal for
the UK's leading dementia research charity, the Alzheimer's Research
Trust. Dr Wray, who won a fellowship grant from the Alzheimer's
Research Trust in June 2009 was selected by the charity thanks to
her cutting edge work using stem cells to fight Alzheimer's disease.

The new appeal features an in-depth look at Dr Wray's research
alongside a letter written by Lynda Bellingham to nearly 40,000 of
the charity's supporters. The 2008 appeal, which featured
Alzheimer's Research Trust Patron Sir Cliff Richard, raised nearly
£75,000, but the charity is determined to beat that total in 2009.

FATTY ACIDS A CLUE

Bristol scientists supported by the Alzheimer's Research Trust have
found that the amount of fatty acids in the brain varies between
healthy people and those with Alzheimer's. Researchers understand
what is happening in the brain during the disease. Seth Love,
Professor of Neuropathology at the University of Bristol, who led
the work, said: 'Fatty acids are essential to the way our brains
work; they affect the way nerve cells function and help insulate the
electrical signals that transmit information around our brains. When
we compared the brains of people without Alzheimer's to those with
the disease, we found a reduction in two types of fatty acid, and an
increase it two others. It might be that the changes in amounts of
fatty acids contribute to the development of Alzheimer's disease, or
are a consequence. We need to do more research to find out.' Rebecca
Wood, Chief Executive of the Alzheimer's Research Trust, said,
'Dementia research in Bristol is making fantastic progress. It is
vital that we understand the changes in the brain that cause
Alzheimer's so that we can open the door to new treatments and ways
to prevent the disease.'


IMPRESSIVE CORPORATE FUNDING

Professor John Hardy, The Wellcome Trust, and Medical Research
Council have invested £17 million into three new research
programmes focussed on Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and motor neurone
disease. Two of the programmes involve Alzheimer's Research Trust
Scientific Advisers Prof John Hardy FRS of University College London
and Prof Peter St George-Hyslop of Cambridge University.

A video clip explaining the new Alzheimer's research can be found
at:
http://www.youtube.com/wellcometrust#p/u/1/te7dDDIt6VM


FORM OF ALZHEIMER'S IS OFTEN INHERITED

UK scientists, part-funded by the Alzheimer's Research Trust, have
shown that the fourth most common form of dementia is often
inherited. Fronto-temporal dementia (FTD), which affects over 11,000
people in the UK, has a number of variants, and researchers found
that some types are more likely to be inherited than others. FTD is
a progressive disease that damages the front part of the brain,
responsible for controlling behaviour, emotions and language, and
causes dementia in people aged 50-60. Behavioural symptoms may
include acting inappropriately or a complete change of personality.
Less commonly, people with the disease experience language problems
as the first symptom, such as losing the ability to name objects.
The new research shows that the language variants of FTD are less
likely to be inherited than the behavioural variants.


All articles are from the Alzheimer's Research Trust website:
http://tinyurl.com/ycxl28w

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

22) EVERYTHING BUT THE ELEPHANTS

...and the Disc. But still, turtles! Here be a rather cute and
possibly Discworld-themed children's night light that even comes
complete with batteries:

http://tinyurl.com/yc32ls9

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

23) IMAGES OF THE MONTH

A gorgeous 3D "sculpt" by Eoin Cannon, based on Paul Kidby's
drawings of Cohen the Barbarian:

http://paulkidby.net/EoinCohen.jpg
http://paulkidby.net/NewsPage.html


An equally gorgeous photo of Gary Carr as Mau in the National
Theatre's London production of Nation:

http://www.whatsonstage.com/images/nation_mau1.jpg

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

24) HEX IS ALIVE AND WELL IN ROUNDWORLD

Forget antivirus, this is ant-antivirus!

"Digital ants could soon be crawling through your computer's hard
drive, but don't worry, they are there to help... The digital ants
report any suspicious activity to a digital sentinel, a program
designed to watch over a set of computers in a network. The sentinel
sorts through all the information the ants gather, and if its
suspicious, passes the information on to a digital sergeant. The
sergeant then alerts the human supervisor, who can the deal with the
problem..."

http://news.discovery.com/tech/digital-ants-computer-worms.html

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 3 -- continued on Part 4 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 2 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 2 -- MORE REVIEWS, MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

10) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS, CONTINUED
11) WOSSNAME EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS: NATION LIVE AT THE NT
12) ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND, THE MUSICAL: AT LAST!
13) JUST THE THING FOR HOGSWATCH: UA FOOTBALL CARDS
14) AUDIOFILE: THE SOUNDS OF PRATCHETT
15) THE PRATCHETT COLLECTION COMES TO DUBLIN...TO STAY

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

10) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS, CONTINUED

Another long review, by blog reviewer Nymeth:

"What is it about, then? Well, conflicts and immigration,
dehumanizing others and stereotypes and urban violence; the fashion
world, people being judgemental while telling themselves everything
they're doing is for The Greater Good, acceptance, belonging,
success, passion and enthusiasm; being who you are, other people
letting you be who you are, remembering history while not letting it
define you, the fact that there are always several sides to one
story, and...well, you get the point. As the rest of the Discworld
series, it's really about life..."

http://tinyurl.com/yd89jsu


And another from blogger Paperback Reader:

"As always I enjoyed reading Pratchett; I find him very comforting
and he brings me out of any book slump that I occasionally fall
into. I find that he is exceedingly difficult to review; I've
summarised what Unseen Academicals and my response but the joy of
reading Pratchett is inexplicable to describe. You do not need to be
a football fan to appreciate this novel as it is not so much about
the cult of the sport but the societal observations surrounding the
game; it is easy to see the humour in the making of the offside rule
without the need to understand it oneself..."

http://tinyurl.com/yabpepm


And from blogger Jacob at Drying Ink:

"It's a fantastic satire with a message: for fashion, on equality,
whatever Pratchett sets his pen to, it's literary gold. I don't need
to talk about the prose, so instead let it suffice to say: it's
brilliant..."

http://tinyurl.com/yaah66q


A short, sweet review from blogger Tim Niland:

"Culminating with a wildly funny winner take all march between the
wizards and a gang of street toughs and hooligans, the story also
tells a fine tale of understanding and redemption..."

http://jazzandblues.blogspot.com/2009/11/recent-reads.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

11) WOSSNAME EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS: NATION LIVE AT THE NT

11.1 PUPPETS AND PIG-MILKING FUN: A REVIEW OF "NATION" AT THE
NATIONAL

by Llin Thomas

I was lucky enough to get tickets to the pre-premiere of Nation at
the National Theatre, and by the time Wednesday the 11th of November
arrived I was so excited to see one of my favourite books brought to
the stage that I could hardly sleep the night before.

So: the National Theatre's adaptation of Nation was really good, in
a lot of ways. In other ways it was a little lacking, but overall it
was still a really good and enjoyable production.

The actor playing Mau was excellent -- not at all how I'd pictured
the character, and I don't think my mental image is forever changed
afterward, but he really got under Mau's skin and put some pretty
subtle stuff across very well.  The young actor playing Daphne was
more hit and miss, but the bits she hit were very good, and the bits
she missed were not that far off. There were only a few moments
where she really captured the essential Daphne-ness of the
character, but again, having read the book I had a very firm idea of
how the characters should be, and the two in our party who hadn't
read it had no complaints, so probably it works in the context of
the play. She was a bit too shouty; I got the impression perhaps
because the theatre was a little big for her voice and she had
trouble speaking loud enough to fill it ("Mau", on the other hand,
had no trouble in this area).

The rest of the cast were excellent, especially the guy playing the
parrot (fun and clever, and helpful especially near the beginning --
more on that in a minute), and the woman playing Cahle. The woman
playing Daphne's grandmother wasn't on stage long but she made a big
impression, and the kids in the audience especially thought she was
hilarious.

The set and staging were absolutely terrific -- we were struck by
the set as soon as we came in, they used the revolving stage, and it
had the top of a globe on it like a small hill, which was useful for
dividing the stage, and got to play a part in the plot when they
entered the Cave of the Grandfathers. There were three large screens
as well which were used to great effect, especially for the
underwater scenes.

The storm, as I mentioned, was fantastic, they used a combination of
the screens, a large blue sheet for the ocean, lighting effects,
dancing, and a model ship, and it was very effective, especially
since it pretty much opened the show and nobody knew yet quite what
to expect.

There was a lot of use of puppetry, especially for the grandfather
birds (which magically became the grandfathers to talk to Mau --
very clever), and for the pig milking scene, which was hilarious.

The music was wonderful, especially the songs of the Nation. There
were two main ones, Imo Be Praised and the Beer Song, which were
repeated frequently and which I'm not going to stop humming for
quite a while. There was also a fun version of Zadok the Priest for
the coronation scene, and the incidental music was gorgeous too,
with touches here and there of electric guitar which worked in a
very strange way.

Oh, that reminds me, there was a girl of about ten sitting with her
parents directly behind us (at the beginning she said "Mummy, is
Terry Pratchett famous, then?" Bless.) and she kept having to have
everything explained to her every step of the way, which was
irritating, but makes me wonder whether bits of it weren't a bit
confusing for people who hadn't read the book.

Oh yes, it was really funny in places -- I mean, as you would
expect, but there were plenty of LOLs for the kids and grown-ups
alike. Everyone seemed to like the sweary parrot, and there were
giggles when Mau turned up in his trousers. A couple of moments
where the school trip kids in the balcony inevitably sniggered at a
very serious moment at the word "breasts", but you can't have it
all.

I think the trouble is that the story is very big, a little too big
really to fit into a normal-length play. This meant that they had to
skip over a lot or do lots of things very quickly, which made the
pace a bit peculiar in the first act, although it evened out a bit
in the second. Also, because so much of the beginning part of the
book has no dialogue, they had to get a lot of the ideas across in
creative ways, which they did mostly successfully. A lot of it
involved the parrot repeating things that had gone on before the
play started (the opening was very quick, it started with the moment
of Mau burying the axe in the tree and immediately led into the
storm -- very well realised, more on that in a minute...) but they
didn't use this enough for it to become annoying. Also it was
necessary for the first few minutes for both Mau and Daphne to
occasionally hallucinate their relatives in order to have
expositional conversations, but again this worked quite well,
especially the part where Mau saw Locaha in the form of his father
and realised that his people were dead. All in all, the main plot
was pretty much intact, although the significance of a lot of the
smaller bits and pieces was lost.

Overall it was an above-average evening at the theatre, and although
the play didn't quite manage to get across the sheer wealth of ideas
in the book (but then, how could it?), it often captured the spirit
of it, and even where it didn't, it was a very good play.


11.2 NATION @ THE NATIONAL: A REVIEW

by Asti

...or should I say, Nation -- The Musical!

It's difficult for me to give an objective review because, quite
frankly, I hedgehogged up. I bought six primo tickets and then was
too busy to set up invites. The result was that I had six prime
seats all to myself to stew in.

The staging was lovely. The entire production was consummately
professional and it's refreshing to see an actual backing orchestra
rather than people working to a click-track. That said, if I had had
my choice, there would have been less attention paid to singing and
dancing and more attention paid to adhering to the original dialogue
and plot. The big surprise at the end was given away twice (!!!)
before the interval (although I may be wrong as I haven't read
Nation since it came out).

I wondered what someone who hadn't read the book thought so I
accosted some little old biddies at both the interval and afterward.
They too wished there were fewer song & dance routines. They also
wondered where Pratchett's witty dialogue was. Over a bracing cup of
tea, we politely decided that the director must have made decisions
with an eye toward bringing in a younger audience. And yet the
parrot still said "****" and "*!*!*!*!" and such. Mystifying.

Oh, and I bought myself a badge that reads 139th to the Throne.

And I cried at the end. But I'm soppy old thing.


[Editor's note: Both reviewers went to the preview performances.
Nation formally opens on 24th November 2009, and continues in
repertory in the NT Olivier until 28 March 2010.]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND, THE MUSICAL: AT LAST!

News from the composer's mouth -- Leighton James House writes on
pjsmprints.com:

"Now fully mastered -- and with some hidden treats -- the actual CD
will be available in December from www.ifnotyouthenwho.com

We are also releasing a very special Limited Edition with exclusive
content and a fantastic competition. We've already had some great
feedback regarding the songs and I hope we get the chance to
complete what we started next year with the national tour."

For the original notice, and a photo of the OYCSMtM cover, go to:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/news/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) JUST THE THING FOR HOGSWATCH: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS FOOTBALL CARDS

Now available from the Cunning Artificer's Discworld Emporium: the
full set of Paul Kidby's Jolly Sailor footy trading cards, as
designed for Unseen Academicals! Comprising twenty different cards,
featuring all the stars of the (very) opposing teams, the set is
priced at £8.00 loose and £12.99 with album included. For those
who prefer the luxury option, the Discworld Emporium also offers a
mounted set backed on board (inc UK postage) for £30.00, mounted
set backed on board (inc EU postage) for £35.00, or mounted set
backed on board (inc Rest of World Postage) for £40.00.

And there's also a lovely selection of 50p Ankh-Morpork Post office
commemorative football stamps, also by Kidby and designed by Bernard
Pearson and Ian Mitchell, featuring Mustrum Ridcully (Capt. UU),
Joseph Hoggett (Capt. AMU) and, as the match referee, The Wizard
Formally Known as the Dean; these are available in Mossy Green,
Royal Blue and Decidedly Grumpy Red, with prices from £0.50 for
individual stamps to £18.00 for a sheet of 36 stamps (12 of each).

http://tinyurl.com/ya66kr6
http://tinyurl.com/ycnzjap
http://tinyurl.com/yadqczs

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) AUDIOFILE: THE SOUNDS OF PRATCHETT

This month, Audiofile Magazine features Good Omens, which is being
released as an audiobook in the USA for the first time [Took them
long enough! -- Ed.]. Here be a link to a selection of audio
interviews with the narrators of Good Omens and other Pratchett
books, including Nigel Planer, Martin Jarvis, George Guidall, and --
of course -- Stephen Briggs. Fascinating listening, especially
Martin Jarvis' segment; you can hear how much he's enjoying his
work:

http://www.audiofilemagazine.com/epicks/1109_landingpage.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

15) THE PRATCHETT COLLECTION COMES TO DUBLIN...TO STAY

The dynamic duo of Sir Terry Pratchett and Colin Smythe recently
travelled to Ireland to present the complete back-catalogue of the
author's works to Trinity College, Dublin:

"The catalogue, presented in all 33 of the languages they have been
published in, was presented to the College Library and the School of
Languages, Literatures and Cultural Studies. According to the
College, the gift is intended to underpin research in contemporary
fiction and translational studies.

"Commenting on Mr. Smythe's donation, the Provost, Dr John Hegarty
said that 'Colin's generous gift of this wonderful collection will
inspire future generations of scholars for many years to come.' He
added, 'Trinity has links across the world in all walks of life. Our
links to another world, the Discworld, were expanded last December
through the addition of Sir Terry to our university's alumni. I'm
always delighted to see the success of our graduates
internationally, across all generations.'"

Honorary alumnus Pratchett and Trinity graduate Smythe first met in
1968, worked together from 1971, and have been a literary team par
excellence for over 20 years now. Well done the lads!

http://tinyurl.com/yagwfmc

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
NOVEMBER 2009 (Volume 12, Issue 11)
*********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the worldwide
Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North
American Discworld Society and other continental groups. Are you a
member? Yes, if you sent in your name, country and e-mail address.
Are there any dues? No! As a member of the Klatchian Foreign Legion,
you'd only forget them...
*********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
Editor Emeritus (retd): Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake, Steven D'Aprano
Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: Tiff
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
time)
Copyright 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDEX:

====Part 1 -- ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
02) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
03) HOGSWATCH TIME IN WINCANTON
04) TALKING FOOTY WITH PTERRY FOR THE GUARDIAN BOOK CLUB
05) TALKING QUESTIONS WITH PTERRY FOR NEW SCIENTIST
06) "LIVING WITH ALZHEIMER'S" WINS A BAFTA AWARD
07) SIR PTERRY LAUNCHES SALISBURY CIVIC SOCIETY BOOK
08) BRINGING NATION TO THE STAGE
09) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

====Part 2 -- MORE REVIEWS, MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

10) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS, CONTINUED
11) WOSSNAME EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS: NATION LIVE AT THE NT
12) ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND, THE MUSICAL: AT LAST!
13) JUST THE THING FOR HOGSWATCH: UA FOOTBALL CARDS
14) AUDIOFILE: THE SOUNDS OF PRATCHETT
15) THE PRATCHETT COLLECTION COMES TO DUBLIN...TO STAY

====Part 3 -- MORE ODDS AND SODS, PLAYS NEWS, ETC.

16) UNSEEN SEEN ON SOUTH AFRICAN BEST BOOKS OF 2009 LIST
17) SILENCE THOSE BELLS! IT'S RTFM DARK MORRIS TIME
18) MORE NEW DISCWORLD MINIATURES
19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
20) NIGHT WATCH: PERFECT FOR HIGH SCHOOL LIT CLASSES
21) ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
22) EVERYTHING BUT THE ELEPHANTS
23) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
24) HEX IS ALIVE AND WELL IN ROUNDWORLD

====Part 4 -- ...AND MORE, AND HOROSCOPE

25) CONVENTION NEWS
26) PRATCHETT READING CHALLENGE
27) ACTION REPLAY: RIM TO HUB'S DISCWORLD PLAYLIST
28) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

====Part 5 -- LATE BREAKING NEWS, AND CLOSE

29) LATE BREAKING NEWS
30) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"I can tell you about a modern author who has inspired me: Terry
Pratchett. I love his books! Each one of them stretches my
imagination further and further. To me, he is the funniest and most
gifted author of our time."

-- L.J Smith, author of the Vampire Diaries series, interviewed in
TeenScene Magazine

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

02) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

As Roundworld groans and gears up for the yearly December holiday
frenzy, there are some wonderful Discworld and Pratchett-related
things going on -- and some of them will make excellent presents! By
the time you read this, Nation will have had its triumphant official
premiere -- read on for several exclusive reviews of the preview
performances -- so if you're in the London area or planning a visit,
what better treat than tickets to Nation to cap your trip? For those
further away, Only You Can Save Mankind: the Musical is now
available to purchase as downloads, and the physical CDs will be
available from 2nd December. And of course there's always the
Cunning Artificer's Discworld Emporium as a source of interesting
gifts.

Unseen Academicals continues to rack up praise and sales, Terry
Pratchett: Living with Alzheimer's has won a well-deserved award,
and the first Irish Discworld convention was a great pleasure for
Our Favourite Author. All in all, it's been a good year...and like a
certain ball game, it's not over yet.

On with the show!

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

03) HOGSWATCH TIME IN WINCANTON

For those of you who might be near Wincanton this weekend...

"Join us for our annual festive celebration on November 28th --
29th in Wincanton. Dress as your favourite character, meet like-
minded folk, and revel in some extraordinary charitable nonsense!
(the grand Discworld Quiz will be held in the Bear Inn on the Friday
night for all those early birds who just can't wait). Festivities
will have a theatrical, old time Music Hall feel -- so dust off
your shiniest tinsel, don your Discworld glad rags, slather on the
greasepaint and hurl yourselves into the Hogswatch spirit! NB: Mimes
are strictly forbidden (of course).

This year, to give sellers their turn in the spotlight, the Makers
Market and craft stalls will move to the Dolphin hotel, opposite the
Discworld Emporium. At the Bear, wonders galore will await. Among
the attractions, those fine showmen, Lord Hong and Professor Hayden
will demonstrate their knowledge of Auriental, Discworld themed,
paper crafts and reptilian exotica respectively, while budding
crafters will have the chance to produce some exclusive creations
under the supervision of a glamorous(ish) assistant.

Extended Grand Costume Parade: this year entrants are wickedly
encouraged to tread the boards from 2pm in a music-hall fashion with
short performances! So whether conjurer, contortionist, stand-up
comedian, or just wanting to show off your Discworld attire, we want
you to take your spot in the limelight. Efforts will be rewarded
with a certification of participation, possible heckling, and hearty
rounds of applause! The winner will take away the 2009 masquerade
Cunning Cup trophy to treasure for ever more.

In the evening, the effervescent Dame Trace will host a slot of
tantalizing entertainment which promises to tickle and tease in all
the right (and possibly wrong) places. Then begins the great
tradition of the Sausage Supper, taking place in various eating
houses around town. Please note that spaces are limited and you will
need to book and pay for your places by filling in the booking form
(available to download shortly).

On Sunday you can empty your wallets for a good cause in the
traditional Grand Charity Auction. There'll be an overwhelming
variety of goodies up for grabs, so get your finances in order and
your bidding arm ready!

The Cunning Artificer's Discworld Emporium will be open for a warm
welcome and cake all weekend. So get your costumes ready and your
ditties polished and we'll see you in November! If you would like
to join us why not drop us a line and let us know. Attendance is
free but it's nice to know how much cake to make! So simply email
us at grannypearson@... "

http://tinyurl.com/y88zyx8

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

04) TALKING FOOTY WITH PTERRY FOR THE GUARDIAN BOOK CLUB

The Guardian's Book Club will present "a very special Book club with
Terry Pratchett, who will talk about his 37th Discworld novel,
Unseen Academicals", on the 14th of December.

Tickets are £9.50 online/£11.50 from the box office and can be
bought direct from Kings Place at kingsplace.co.uk or by calling 020
7520 1490.

Venue: Hall One, Kings Place, London
Date: Monday 14 December
Time: 19:00
Price: £9.50

"Hosted by John Mullan, professor of English at University College
London and 2009 Man Booker judge, the Guardian's Book Club examines
a book a month, via a weekly column in the Guardian Review, a live
Q&A session with the author, and a blog-discussion of the featured
novel. Mullan's first three columns discuss the book in question;
his final column consists of a selection of your comments from the
live event and the blog."

The Kings Place site offers a seating chart for choice, and notes
that "tickets can only be bought online up to 1 hour and 30 mins
before the performance."

http://tinyurl.com/yc7c87t
www.guardian.co.uk/books/series/bookclub
http://tinyurl.com/yao85y3

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

05) TALKING QUESTIONS WITH PTERRY FOR NEW SCIENTIST

A bit of an interview:

"'Football is there to carry the plot,' says Pratchett, but the book
itself is about his crab bucket theory. The idea, he explains, is
that football evolved during the industrial revolution, when people
converged on cities from the countryside. 'The old certainties back
home had gone, they had nothing in common apart from their poverty
but they formed a clan by supporting the same football team.' And
crab bucket? Because crabs don't often escape from traps: 'Self-made
ghettoes are hard to get out of.'..."

http://tinyurl.com/ydguo8o


Readers' selected questions, and Pterry's answers:

http://tinyurl.com/y8t88qs

[My favourite is the one about the hat. -- Ed.]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

06) "LIVING WITH ALZHEIMER'S" WINS A BAFTA AWARD

Terry Pratchett: Living With Alzheimer's, made by IWC Media, has won
a 2009 Scottish Bafta award for best factual series.

Includes a full list of the winners:

http://tinyurl.com/yb44k4w

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

07) SIR PTERRY LAUNCHES SALISBURY CIVIC SOCIETY BOOK

From the Salisbury Journal:

"Author Sir Terry Pratchett signed more than 70 copies of Salisbury
Civic Society's book, Salisbury in Detail, at a special book
launch held at Salisbury library. The author, who lives in the
Chalke Valley and is best known for his comic fantasy Discworld
novels, also has an interest in architectural detail and has written
the foreword to the book. Salisbury in Detail, containing more than
500 colour photographs and text, offers an unusual insight into
buildings in the city, both public and private, highlighting obvious
details such as doors and windows as well as the more unusual
carvings, plaques and sundials. In his speech, Sir Terry commented
that the book was a remarkable mixture of building design and
architectural details that contributed to make Salisbury such an
attractive place to live and work..."

http://tinyurl.com/y9cwrbg

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

08) BRINGING NATION TO THE STAGE

Nation director and co-designer Melly Still on creating the
production:

"Terry (Pratchett) was very busy elsewhere during rehearsals, but he
came in for a workshop and was an absolute fountain of knowledge. It
was great for us and the actors to ask him all our burning
questions, and he talked to us for three hours. He was very
generous, and he just sort of handed it over to us in a way you have
to hand a novel over to the imagination of a reader..."

http://tinyurl.com/yat6tkd


Also, a piece in The Telegraph:

"Invited by the NT's artistic director Nicholas Hytner to root
around for a story that might serve as a follow-up to her acclaimed
staging of Jamila Gavin's Coram Boy four years ago, Still, 47, was
instantly taken by Nation's fearlessness in the face of difficult
subject-matter. 'I liked that its challenging themes weren't
remotely simplified for younger readers. The novel encourages a lot
of questions and curiosity rather than laying down black-and-white
answers. That appealed to me very much.'"

http://tinyurl.com/ydqohhz

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

09) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

In The Independent, reviewer Nicholas Tucker assures us that
Alzheimer's has not visibly diminished Sir Pterry's wordsmithing
skills:

"His writing remains as spry as ever, with the humour coming thick
and fast in every paragraph. This hectic rate of waggery can only
succeed if the jokes are really good, and once again they are...
Greater claims can be made for Pratchett's work other than that it
is unfailingly good fun. Magic realism does not have to be solemn.
In his hands, it comes over as a sharply satirical take on many
current realities from an author seemingly incapable of penning a
bad joke."

http://tinyurl.com/yc5dgsy


In The Irish Times, a review by University College Dublin history
professor Edward James:

"Those who have not read a Discworld book, presuming there are such,
must be puzzled by Pratchett's extreme popularity. It is not easy
to explain. There is the humour, of course -- word play, parody,
comic excess, satire -- much of it arising from making his fantasy
world a distorting mirror of our own. There is the serious moral
core, common to all good satire. And there is the fascination in
watching Pratchett's slow world building, as we gradually get to
know Discworld and its inhabitants..."

http://tinyurl.com/y9nqnyp


The author Cory Doctorow weighs in as a UA supporter at BoingBoing:

"The novelist's best trick is to make you care about stuff you don't
care about. It's what Fever Pitch does. And it's what Unseen
Academicals does, too. Pratchett shows us how sport is part of the
emotional life of a city, and how its significance resonates across
generations, across regional parochialism, across social strata,
uniting us behind something that transcends the mere game. What's
more, Pratchett shows us how fragile a thing this is, how vulnerable
it is to greed and thuggishness and venality, and how those who
defend the game do so for the best reasons imaginable..."

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/11/11/pratchetts-unseen-ac.html


From the Muskogee Phoenix newspaper, in the heart of Oklahoma:

"The novel might be described as Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast trilogy
meets Harry Potter at Unseen University over a game of football. A
strange neo-medieval combination, but Pratchett's farcical humor is
wonderfully strange... Themes of love, rivalry, racism, self-deceit,
tolerance, self-worth and loyalty to one's team crisscross over an
underlying plot..."

In addition to the review, columnist Melony Carey includes several
pages of Unseen Academicals-inspired recipes! Follow the links at
the bottom of the first page...

http://tinyurl.com/y8v5grk


A lengthy, fairly spoiler-filled review by Professor Crazy at media
review site bscreview.com:

"Besides the humorous, often Monty Python-like humor (as evidenced
from the situations described above) and the author's clever use
of wordplay, I liked his skills at characterization... I really
liked a theme that runs through the book about people being trapped
in the social and economic class they were born into, by society in
general, but also by one's own family, friends, and peers, and
largely by one's own self. They're afraid that if they strive
for something better -- a better job, more money, a better life --
then some invisible hammer will knock them back down for having
tried to live above their stations. The author has an eloquent
metaphor for this... I admit I have only read two other novels in
the series previous to Unseen Academicals, but I'd like to read
more of them, because Terry Pratchett is a funny and skillful
writer..."

http://tinyurl.com/yeu8fua

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 1, continued on Part 2 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2009 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 3 -- PLAYS NEWS, GAMES NEWS, ODD SODS, WEIRD ALICE

15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
16) ACTION REPLAY: A COLLEGIATE CASTING-OUT
17) A BREW FIT FOR A...TURTLE
18) ...AND A HEDGEHOG WHO *COULD* BE...UM...
19) GOING POSTAL TELEFILM: NOT JUST FOR DISCWORLD FANS
20) A BLOG REVIEW OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
21) READERS' LETTERS
22) AN AMATEUR REVIEWER WORTH MENTIONING
23) ABP BITS

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS -- NO ROOM ON THE PITCH

Sadly for some of us, the upcoming world premiere of Stephen Briggs'
adaptation of Unseen Academicals is now completely sold out for the
entirety of its first run. However, as a consolation prize, there
are some excellent iconographs of the cast on the Studio Theatre
webbe site:

http://www.studiotheatreclub.com/CurrentPlans.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

16) ACTION REPLAY: A COLLEGIATE CASTING-OUT

For those of you who might not have read this exclusive short story,
written by Pterry as a one-off for The Times (the Roundworld one!)
and appearing originally in their Sunday educational supplement,
those nice people at L-space offer a link to A Collegiate Casting-
Out of Devilish Devices, an amusing vignette of life at Unseen
University that also provides some early backstory for Unseen
Academicals:

"'Well put, that man!' said Ridcully. 'Ignorance is the key! That's
how the Dean got where he is today!'"

http://tinyurl.com/yuxrql

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) A BREW FIT FOR A TURTLE

When Birmingham City University student Paul Kruzycki went to a talk
given by Terry Pratchett in 1995, it changed his life. First he
decided to organise the first Discworld convention:

"The event was a big success, drawing 1,000 fans and Pratchett
himself. Kruzycki, now 38, organised more events but 'took his eye
off the financial ball' and costs rocketed beyond the budget."

And then, in 2002, he founded Bursar Vixen Enterprises, a company
brewing Discworld-themed beers under licence from Pterry himself.
Since then fortunes have changed, but the Bursar Vixen Enterprises
produce, now renamed Ales by Mail, went from strength to strength
and even included, yes, Pratchett-approved sausages...

http://tinyurl.com/yllutms

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) A HEDGEHOG WHO *COULD* BE...UM...

What do you call a hedgehog with no spines? "Spud", apparently. Here
be an article about a rescued hedgehog with a mysterious disability.
It's heartbreaking, but it's also heartwarming, because the kindly
volunteers at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Aylesbury,
Buckinghamshire, England have given the wee beastie a good and
comfortable life that includes daily baths and moisturising.

"When he was brought in he seemed pretty cheesed off with life, but
now he's a normal hedgehog in everything but appearance. I don't
think he realises he hasn't got any spines."

All together now: Daww!

http://tinyurl.com/cjoppy

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) GOING POSTAL TELEFILM: NOT JUST FOR DISCWORLD FANS

"For Going Postal Sky are looking to have a show that can reach
beyond the Terry Pratchett fans and appeal to a broader audience.
However, [producer Sue] De Beauvoir is looking to strike as good a
balance between pleasing the fans and bringing in a new audience,
and having a template to work with is a huge help with this. 'It's
not starting something from scratch.' De Beauvoir said. When asked
about adapting the book De Beauvoir revealed that she is a big fan
of the novels central story, but she also appreciates the fact that
it is very British. 'Terry is very much a defender of the ordinary
man and British society, saving the Post Office, and to me this book
has got all the things Terry feels very strongly about'..."

http://scifipulse.net/?p=12570

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) A BLOG REVIEW OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

A longish, thoughtful and decidedly un-culchie review on the Irish
site culch.ie:

"Alzheimer's is such a hideous, bastard of a disease... and to see
the author of the books that I love – and I really mean LOVE --
stricken, handicapped and just unable to type out the characters and
the words that would bring me another joyous escape into the
Discworld was awful. Awful. So I didn't really look out for when
the new book would be out. It would happen when it would happen. God
help him, he had enough to be worrying about and besides, I delved
right back into the Discworld, starting this time with Small Gods
and working my way on. But -- and here it is, pre-finished as all as
I am -- Unseen Academicals is superb. I don't just mean it's a
good Discworld novel or a great read or a nice compromise
considering the circumstances, I mean it's fantastic and funny and
brilliant and interesting and informative and is well on its way to
being my favourite of the entire series... I'm flying through the
book not because it's any more simple than the others, but because
the story is so well told, the characters so rounded and believable,
the setting so rich and despite it being about football, it really
is just a great Ankh-Morpork story.... Terry Pratchett never lost
it. Fine, his PCA might be preventing him from doing it as quickly,
but the quality, the eye, the genius is still there..."

http://tinyurl.com/ygl34bc

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) WOSSNAME READERS' LETTERS

Reader Tamar offers some thoughts on some of the topics in last
month's "ABP BITS" section (27.1 A QUESTION ABOUT WIZARDS'
UNIFORMS... and 27.2 ...AND ANOTHER ABOUT WIZARDS', UM, RECREATIONAL
ACTIVITIES):

I think Sourcery is also the first time Rincewind _has_ a hat.
In TCOM, Rincewind is grilled by the tree woman and claims
his hat blew away, but it's clear that he didn't have one.
His medallion is never mentioned again in the series.

I believe it is in Sourcery, again, where a specific wizard
is described as wearing _blue_, but it has no significance;
it's just his personal choice.

Witches can have offspring and there's no problem.

The seven boys who were the Sourcerer's older brothers were
each as powerful at birth as the most powerful adult wizard
in the world. What happened to them?

Infants aren't known for good sense, and when an infant
wants something, they want it now. So In My Opinion they
probably died very young.

I think the power will out, one way or another. Perdita X Nitt,
for instance.

=Tamar, former ABPer

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

22) AN AMATEUR REVIEWER WORTH MENTIONING

Dark Knight rides' introductory Terry Pratchett page:

"Terry Pratchett is one of the funniest authors on the shelves
today. He takes a very skewed look at the fantasy genre, as well as
Shakespeare and politics and casts it through a kaleidoscope of
chaos. With a dry and cynical sense of humor, he takes on current
events and twists them to make you see both the humor and the
tragedy..."

http://hubpages.com/hub/Terry-Pratchett-reviews

DKr's individual reviews of Discworld novels:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Small-Gods
http://hubpages.com/hub/Eric-A-Discworld-take-on-Faust
http://hubpages.com/hub/Witches-Abroad
http://hubpages.com/hub/Men-At-Arms
http://hubpages.com/hub/Mort
http://hubpages.com/hub/Reaper-Man
http://hubpages.com/hub/Moving-Pictures
http://hubpages.com/hub/Wyrd-Sisters-1988
http://hubpages.com/hub/Sourcery
http://hubpages.com/hub/Guards-Guards
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Light-Fantastic
http://hubpages.com/hub/Lords-and-Ladies
http://hubpages.com/hub/Equal-Rites
http://hubpages.com/hub/PyramidsDiscworld
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Colour-of-Magic

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

23) ABP BITS

23.1 THE MASTER STILL HAS HIS MARBLES

Sorry it's too late for most people, but I have just come across an
interview with the Great Man in the above journal.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/6231337/SIr-Terry-Pratchett
-interview.html

-- Anthony

I was quite floored by this:
'However, I do get a lot of weird Christians with a little red glint
on their spectacles and spittle at the corner of their mouths who
say things like, "The Commandment says, Thou Shalt Not Kill." And I
always say, "Well, that's rather strange given how bloodthirsty
Jehovah was." Personally, I think the Commandment should read, Thou
Shalt Commit No Murder, which is rather different.' That's actually
exactly what it says. In Hebrew, "Thou shalt not kill" would be "Lo
Taharog". The commandment instead says "Lo Tirtzach", which  indeed
means "Thou shalt not murder".

As for the interview, I was quite heartened by it, in fact. He
obviously still has all his intellectual faculties, which is not
only good news for us but for him as well. I've never met the man
in person, but he seems to positively revel in ideas and words, so
the fact that he's fully capable of both is a good thing.

-- Daniel


23.2 ...AND ATE'NT DEAD YET

I just finished UA and thought it was well up to SirPt's usual
standard: highly re-readable.

But he brought in so many earlier characters--only the witches
are absent, really--that it made me nervous lest it's a signal
that he plans to quit writing, or quit writing about the DW.
Admittedly many of chars brought back are in bit parts and in the
case of Oats offscreen altogether. But it's still worrying.

Is SirPt already working on another, does anyone know? Am I
being silly for worrying? Anyone have any Views?

-- A. (Grateful-but-Nervous) Reader

He's presently working on I Shall Wear Midnight, which I believe
is a Tiffany Aching book. And he speaks very highly of the
dictating software he's using.

-- Ottert

It sometimes reads like a grand finale, with everyone on stage,
doesn't it? Still, Mr. Pratchett^W^W Sir Terry has already made
public references to at least three more Discworld novels:

- I Shall Wear Midnight (Tiffany Aching)
- Raising Taxes (Moist von Lipwig)
- Scouting for Trolls

AIUI, I Shall Wear Midnight is already pretty far along; as for the
others, we'll have to see.

-- Michael

Speaking for myself, I hope he never stops writing. When and if
he does, the world will have lost a treasure.

-- A. Reader


23.3 THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE DISCLY

My favorite Discworld book is, bar none, Night Watch. I also love
Small Gods, which I've noticed has got a lot of puppy-kicks in
discussion about Unseen Academicals.

With Night Watch, my love is primarily because the book is a
character study of Sam Vimes. We see Vimes at his most strained and
stressed- even more so than Thud!. We see Vimes, a man whose life
has been built on a career where the job description is continually
trying and failing to prevent disaster, put in the ultimate
trying-and-failing-to-prevent-disaster situation. We see him tested
almost to breaking point on multiple occasions, giving him multiple
opportunities to show his true quality. It's a journey of the soul
which, although it has its moments, is not a particularly funny book.

With Small Gods, I love the book because of its spot-on
demonstration of almost every form of human nature. It's a book about
insights- insight into how people really work, how religions rise and
fall, how belief succumbs to blind ritual. It's also a classic "buddy"
story, except that one of the buddies happens to be a god, and the two
characters involved are played off one another excellently.

What are my least favorite books of the series? Easy: bronze, The
Last Continent; runner-up, Soul Music; winner, Moving Pictures.
All three books suffer from the same problems: too many jumbled
viewpoints with no clear running thread; weak plot; and, above all,
too much emphasis on finding things to satire within the target topic,
and not enough emphasis on either character or plot.

I re-read Last Continent occasionally. Soul Music, rarely. I keep
a copy of Moving Pictures only for reference purposes. Reaper Man,
which suffers from many of the same structural problems as Soul
Music and Moving Pictures, is saved by strong characters
(especially "Bill Door") and two serviceable plots.

-- Redneck

Your likes and dislikes are the exact opposite of mine and for,
pretty much, the same reasons. The books you dislike and reasons
that you dislike them are the very reason that I like them. That
said, as the majority of the DW series fall into the type/s that
you dislike, I wonder why you continued to read them? Why read a
whole series of books that you do not like? I really am interested
by the way.

-- Trev

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 3 -- continued on Part 4 of 4.
If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2009 -- PART 4 OF 4 (continued)
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====Part 4 -- HOROSCOPE AND CLOSE

24) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
25) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

24) NOT THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

by Fernando Magnifico

Buongiorno my friends, it is I, Fernando Magnifico! The Lady
Asterisk is unavailable today, for she has a bad radish, but do not
fear, for Fernando shall be your astrologer today!

My friends, last month I told you that Fernando's membership of the
Guild of Prognosticators, Soothsayers, Fortunetellers,
Oneiromancers, Haruspices and Cunning-Men (divers wizards, witches,
priests, priestess and Mrs Cake exempted) had expired, and Fernando
was prohibited from casting the horoscopes. Due to the dastardly
machinations of the despicable Carlos (I am sure), Fernando's
membership renewal has gone missing for the *third* time! But do not
be afeared my friends, for Fernando shall throw caution to the winds
of Flatulus, as they say, and write the horoscope regardless! Let
the Guild do their worst, Fernando is not afraided! Besides,
Fernando has discovered that the Guild official in charge of his
case, Cornelius Fludd, is married to the daughter of Fernando's
paesano Bruno, who you may remember was sat on by a sow after giving
the disrespect to Aunt Peppita.

My friends, Fernando knows very well that footsball is the King of
Sports! This month, Ankh-Morpork has gone footsball mad, for the
long awaited grudge-match between Unseen University and Brazeneck
University is finally upon us! These two universities have been the
traditional rivals for months, and so Fernando knows that this will
be a match to never forget -- especially as it is said the captains
of both teams have asked the Patrician to allow the use of the non-
fatal spells during the match. This promises to be a match to talk
about for years, and the spectacle will be worth the almost
insignificante risk of being turned into a kakaparrot by some mis-
aimed spell. Fernando has the looking forward to this match almost
as much as he looks forward to watching Fabiano Capisce play for
Rail Youventis in the Brindisi Cup this year, and so in honour of
this occasion Fernando has asked the stars for their advice on what
is your best footsball position to play, and who is the player you
are the most like.

Ciao bella! Go Youventis!!!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Adamant Hedgehog  21 Mar - 20 Apr

Your footsball position is: ONE OF THE MOB

Fernando knows that Hoggers have the very spiky attitude and the
ability to curl into the small ball for self-defence. This will be
very valuable to you, for the stars say that you are best suited for
playing Feegleball. A dangerous variety of footsball, played
wherever Feegles can be found passed-out drunk, each team has two or
three hundred brave, foolish or merely suicidal men. The object is
to kick the Feegle from one side of the town to the other without
being beaten to a bloody pulp by either the opposition or the
Feegle. Do not be upset my friends, for Feegles are tougher than
they look and being kicked or trodden on is unlikely to hurt them.
There are no positions in the game of Feegleball, only a great big
mob -- except perhaps the foetal position if the Feegle wakes up
during the game.

The stars tell Fernando that the player you are most like is Archie
Gerbil, the Scourge of the Scours, who in the Year of the Greased
Weasel scored a goal by dropping Awfully-Big-Nosed-Jamie MacFeegle
down the pants of Danny "The Boy" Parsnip's pants, then drop-kicking
The Boy across the goal line while he was screaming. Fernando is not
sure who he is most sorry for, Parsnip, or the Feegle.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Half-Eaten Sandwich  21 Apr - 21 May

Your footsball position is: ATTACKING MIDFIELDER

Munchers, the stars say that your position is the attacking
midfielder, the molto shining star of the footsball team. Your job
is to to be the offensive pivot of the team, around whom the team's
attacks are centred. Fernando understands that being the offensive
pillock is entirely up to you, although historically being the
offensive pillock is, as they say, part of the job description. As
attacking midfielder, the team will expect you to use your amazing
ball-footing and ball-heading skills to help your less talented
team-mates to score, both on and off the field.

The stars tell Fernando that the player you are most alike is Django
de Marat-d'Auney, "the Hand of Io", the dirty cheating Quirmian who
cost Rail Youventis the Cup nearly two years ago. Fernando is sick
to the stomach to even write his name, but Fernando will suffer for
your sake my friends, for the stars have spoken.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Herne the Hunted  22 May - 21 Jun

Your footsball position is: WINGER

Hernians, the stars say the footsball position best suited to you is
the winger. You need to run fast, which is well-suited to the
Hernian fizziology. The ability to kick the ball with both feet is
very valuable, but Fernando knows that even more valuable is the
awareness of when you are about to be trampled by the opposition
players and also the ability to quickly get out of the way.

The player you are most alike is the famous winger Alessandro
'Huevos' Rancheros, renowned for his ability to score with both
feet, and famous for his family of eighteen children. Fernando knows
that he obviously is not just scoring with his feet.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Wizard's Staff and Knob  22 Jun - 22 Jul

Your footsball position is: CENTRE-BACK

The stars have spoken to Fernando, and told him that the position
Staffies is most suited to is the centre-back. As centre-back you
will need to be tall, or at least large, and molto brave and
decisive. Your job is to stop the opposition from getting close
enough to goal to score, and since the Staffies are known for being
competitive, strong-willed and determined, to say nothing of willing
to take advantage of your opponent's weaknesses, Fernando knows that
you will be a successful centre-back if you can overcome your
natural inclination to have fourths or even fifths for supper.

The player you are the most alike is the famous centre-back for
Armoury, The Hon. Charlton Fimsbury Hazeldine-Cruft, or "Chazza" to
Armoury supporters and "that mad toff" to everyone else. Known for
his dirty tackles and absolute disregard for the sporting spirit of
the game, Chazza's most famous clash was in the match against the
club Hardenup Hotspikes. Taking advantage of the referee being
momentarily stunned by a thrown pork-pie from the crowd, he took the
opportunity to take down Dugdale 'The Gentleman' Spork by tackling
him behind play so hard he ended up wearing The Gentleman's jersey.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Bilious, God of Hangovers  23 Jul - 23 Aug

Your footsballer position is: STRIKER

Bilians, the stars have said your position is the striker. The
striker is given few defensive responsibilities, which is good for
you as Fernando knows that after a vino or three Bilians aren't so
very good at the responsibilities. Or for that matter, the fast
reactions and quick running, but the stars must know something
Fernando does not, for they have spoken. And indeed the player you
are most like is the Disc-famous Mateus Vinho de Rosay, known
everywhere as Edmundo (although no-one knows quite why), one of the
greatest goal-scorers the Disc has ever seen, and a true gentleman
when he has not over-indulged in the grappa.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Celestial Parsnip  24 Aug - 23 Sept

Your footsball position is: FULL-BACK

Fernando knows that the full-back is expected to be strong and
intimidating. Traditionally the full-back is expected to be a solid
defender, like a wall as they say, although some teams today have
experimented with the faster, more agile and attacking player like
the Zlobenian full-back Hermann 'Hutspa' Jagomeister. Fernando
prefers the old ways, like the player you are most like: Llamedese
full-back Dai Huw Gareth-Pugh-Davies, known as "The Icebox" and
sometimes mistaken for a troll.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars  24 Sept - 23 Oct

Your footsball position is: INSIDE FORWARD

Boring'uns, Fernando knows what you are thinking -- footsball, even
the more refined "no contact" version played today, is far too
exciting for you to even watch, let alone play. My friends, Fernando
understands why you say this, but the stars have spoken, and in fact
the most celebrated footsballer of all time, the legendary Navaroni
Pimiento, otherwise known as Puli, is a Boring'un! Fernando
remembers being taken to see Puli in an exhibition match when he was
a small boy (Fernando, not Puli). To watch Puli's skills on the
footsball ground was a thing to behold, a thing of great beauty,
almost as much as Fernando himself. Even to this day, Puli is held
in such great respect that when he visits the great city of Ankh-
Morpork he can walk through the Shades without losing any of his
arms or famous legs. So be not afeared, Boring'uns, for if it is
your fate to be the inside forward your life will not be dangerous.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Androgyna Majestis  24 Oct - 22 Nov

Your footsball position is: GENERAL MIDFIELDER

The stars say that your position is the general midfielder, or box-
to-box player. Fernando knows that to be the complete midfielder,
you must be flexible and able to play both attacking and defensive
roles, and it is this double-nature which is the very much suited to
the Andies. Fernando knows all about being flexible, and practises
his stretching exercises for an hour every day.

The stars also say that the player you are most alike is Darrin
Bechamel, known to his legions of fans as "Ecrous d'argent".
Fernando knows that "The Sauce", as he is also known, makes the
womenfolk swoon almost as much as Fernando does, which only goes to
show that some people are the very easily impressed.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Spoons, a.k.a. the Greater and Lesser Spoons, 23 Nov - 21 Dec

Your footsball position is: GOAL KEEPER

Spooners, Fernando has the good news and the bad news for you, for
the stars have said that your position is the Goalkeeper or Goalie.
The good news is that this is a position of great importance, the
last line of defence in any footsball team, the only player allowed
to touch the ball with his hands (apart from Django de
Marat-d'Auney, it seems), and most importantly, the player who gets
to wear the stylish jersey different from the jersey worn by his
teammates. But the bad news is, if you let the goal through, your
name will be cursed onto a hundred generations, or until the next
time you save a goal, whichever happens first.

The player you are most alike is Hans "Totenhosen" Totalvoetbal,
Most Valuable Player for the club Acme in the Year of the Dancing
Bear. Fernando remembers seeing Totalvoetbal caught far out of
position once, and still save the goal by throwing the opposition
captain into the ball's path.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Hoki the Jokester  22 Dec - 20 Jan

Your footsball position is: XXXXIAN FULL-FORWARD

In distant Fourecks, they play the game of "XXXXian Footy", or "best
bloody bewt game bar none", as the locals call it. This Footy is a
strange, disturbing sport, where each team might easily kick twenty
or thirty goals in a single game, instead of one or two on a good
day as the gods intended. And Fernando asks, what sort of sport
rewards the team for missing the goal by giving them a consolation
point? It is very strange, the sport of jokers, and so the stars say
that this will suit Hokians very much. Your position is the Full-
Forward, the player whose job it is to kick goals, or at least
points, to shout abuse at the supporters (of either team), and to
leap moltissimo high into the air to catch either the ball or a
seagull.

The player you are most alike is Bazza "Porkchop" Locker, who played
for the XXXX Footy League and kicked eleven thousand goals in one
season despite having to play with a small pig stuffed down his
shirt after losing a bet.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Rather Large Gazunda  21 Jan - 18 Feb

Your footsball position is: DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER

Gazundians, your position is the Defensive Midfielder. The Defensive
Midfielders are the players who cover the most amount of ground
during a game, running up to seven or eight miles in a single game.
Fernando knows that your task is to harass and tackle the
opposition, and if all else fails, to pretend to be hit by another
player and throw yourself theatrically to the ground in front of the
referee.

The player you are most alike is Gustav Pilsner, "the big bad
Ballkontroller from Bad Blintz", who once ran twelve miles during a
single game: nine miles after the ball, and three miles to the local
tavern and back when the half-time beer barrel ran out.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Lesser Umbrage   19 Feb - 20 Mar

Your footsball position is: THE DEEP-LYING FORWARD

Umbragians, the stars say your position is the deep-lying forward,
an unorthodox position invented by Puska Bagor from the mountainous
district of Magyarya. You may also know him as the pappa of the
famous Bagor sisters Cha-Cha and Viva, who Fernando is molto
disappointed to have been born just a few years too late to meet,
such is the cruelty of fate. The deep-lying forward is an attacking
position, similar to the striker, but better suited to the deceitful
style of play used by the Quirmians and the flexible view towards
the facts as practised by Umbragians.

The player you are most alike Ilyich "Gloomy Trousers" Slivovitzky,
who won the Uberwald Cup for his team by playing on the opposition's
side and kicking three own-goals before they realised who he was.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

25) CLOSE

Eek! We've run out of room! See you next month!

-- Annie Mac

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 4.
If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2009 -- PART 2 OF 4 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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====Part 2 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

11) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
12) CONVENTION NEWS
13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
14) THE MASTER, AS AN APPRENTICE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

11) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS

11.1 ASSISTED DEATH TO BE DECRIMINALISED IN THE UK

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6841385.ece


11.2 PTERRY WANTS YOUR BRAIN!

No, our favourite author hasn't become a zombie (yet?). But
according to the BBC News website, he is encouraging people to
donate their brains for medical research. After you're done using
them, of course.

"Former Home Secretary David Blunkett has pledged to donate his
brain to dementia research. The Sheffield Labour MP is backing a
£2m scheme encouraging more people to allow their brains to be used
for research after they die. Mr Blunkett is also vice-president of
the Alzheimer's Society... Discworld author Sir Terry Pratchett, who
as patron of the Alzheimer's Research Trust has led a high-profile
campaign to increase awareness of the illness, said it was vital to
encourage donations... 'They're certainly going to have my brain
because it's about time somebody made use of it.'"

The scheme is called Brains for Dementia. Is there an Igor in the
house?

http://tinyurl.com/yhdyem4


11.3 PRATCHETT ALZHEIMER'S DOCUMENTARY NOMINATED FOR A BAFTA

Bafta Scotland has released its list of nominations for this year's
television and film awards, and the documentary Terry Pratchett:
Living with Alzheimer's is nominated in the factual series category.

The winners will be announced at a ceremony in Glasgow's Science
Centre on Sunday 8th November.

http://tinyurl.com/yfmk9ot

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) CONVENTION NEWS

12.1 IDWCON NEWS

The First Irish Discworld Convention
6 -- 9 November 2009

Featuring:
Terry Pratchett (Guest of Honour)
Diane Duane
Peter Morwood
Colin Smythe
Bernard Pearson
Jack Cohen
and
Stephen Briggs (via internet)

From IDWcon's newsletter:

For those of you who can't make the four days and are wondering how
you'll be able to buy tickets, then you'll be happy to know that
membership will be available on the door of the Falls Hotel either
at the membership desk (on Friday only) or in Ops (all weekend).

We'll have day tickets and a two day Saturday/Sunday ticket
available. Prices will be announced shortly.

If you're coming on a day ticket or the two day ticket and want to
come to the Oswalds Awards Dinner you'll be happy to know that
that's possible. Book early! Bookings for the Gala Dinner close on
Monday the 2nd of November.

If you're coming on a day ticket or the two day ticket and wish to
book a room in the hotel using the members discount then you'll need
to email one of us at info@....

To those who'd like a very special part in the weekend, we need a
Ridcully (send pic to info@...) and a Victor (Moving
Pictures, and please email info@...).


Oswalds Awards Night: The Oswalds Awards Night is an Event (note
capitalisation) not to be missed. It is the premier night of
Entertainment on the Disc and features such personalities as Terry
Pratchett (and his speech), The Co-Chair (and her speech) and the
wonderful characters of Ginger and Victor (AN1: see Moving Pictures)
who will be hosting the Event (AN2: think you would make a charming
Victor? Offer your services now!)

With two wonderful speeches, by said Special Guest and Co-Chair, and
Awards chosen by the masses (you lovely folks) this will be an
evening to remember!

The Awards are as follows:
* Best Characterisation (of a Discworld personality)
* Best Costume Design
* Best Costume in a Supporting Role
* Young Discworld Star
* Best Impersonator of The Man in The Hat (see here for details)

These Oswalds will be Nominated by the Public and Chosen by the
Public. Nominations begin on Saturday morning and close at 7pm that
night. The Top Nominees will be announced next morning and voting
will continue til 3pm. You may vote once and only once! (Voting
Cards will be contained in your goodie bags.)

Following the Oswalds Ceremony Terry himself will award the prizes
for Maskerade winners.

The night will be capped off with some light dancing and beverage of
your choice!


12.2 DISCWORLD 2010

The official opening is on Friday with the opening ceremony and a
number of smaller programme items so yes -- to be honest you would
miss the Friday programme items. The programme team are pulling
together the draft programme and it will be available well before
the event itself if you need to make a late decision.

In practice a lot of people roll up on the Thursday evening. There
is  no official programme on Thursday evening but there is a lot of
informal 'getting together' and 'pub quiz' type activity.  If you
are new to Conventions it can also be a good time to help out a bit
and get to know  a lot of people.

I'm not sure if this will come as good news or bad :-)

-- Karen


Err, difficult choice ... what about events on the Monday ?
-- we can only really be away for "two nights", so could shift to
Friday + Saturday ... originally thinking Sat + Sun

-- SteveC

If you can only have two nights away then it does make more sense to
have the Saturday and Sunday at the Con. The Gala Dinner is on the
Sunday night if you were planning to attend that or the surrounding
entertainment.

I'm not sure which outside factors limit your choices or how late
you can make a final decision. (feel free to mail us at
'info@...' if you wish to elaborate on the factors away from
a public forum, we will help you further if we can). I would
suggest you get your hotel  booked early to secure a Con rate room -
it is possible to modify/cancel up until a weekish before the event
(Hotel will know the exact cut off  dates).

In the mean time - other old lags on this list will probably have
had to  make this kind of decision due to children, family, work
constraints  etc. Perhaps they could chime in with their views on
the key time to  be there if you have limited time? (I've modified
the subject line to  attract attention ;)

Also we are putting some more general and retrospective info up on
the website, hopefully this will also help you.

I would also recommend Saturday and Sunday for people who can only
be away for two nights.

Saturday is generally the day/night for the Maskerade, Hedgehog
Party, any Q&A that Terry might be planning to do and quite a lot of
the other bigger events too. Not only that, but a lot of the
'hanging out and singing in the bar' takes place on Saturday night,
which for a lot of people is a large part of their being at the
Convention.

Sunday -- Gala Dinner for those planning to attend, plus Toast and
Jam event (have a look at previous Conventions on www.lspace.org if
you don't know what this is), and Terry and Stephen Briggs's
signing. The auction often takes place on Sunday too.

There are events on Monday, but (apart from the Closing Ceremony)
these are usually quite low-key, due to a lot of people being busy
with packing and checking-out, not to mention the general rate of
knackeredness amongst most of us by that time!

I hope this helps!

(Not sure if three Conventions so far qualifies me as an 'old lag',
I hope so *g*)

-- Karen

I can't recall if anyone has mentioned the Theme for the 2010 con
which is now only less than 11 months away....In a rare idle moment
I pondered on the recent release of Unseen Academicals, the set of
football cards that Paul Kidby and Lord Bernard have created, the
recent match in Wincanton not to mention the World Cup just before
the con and the logical Theme seems to be Discworld Football! We
could have Dibbler selling Replica Shirts, Programmers and Stuff
inna bun and even, instead of having guilds, have football teams!!
Just a thought.....apologies to those with no interest in football,
just makes a change to cake discussions...

-- Paul

The Theme for 2010 is "The Thing and the Whole of the Thing", along
with our friend the Elephant who fell. We'll be expanding on this
theme as the con gets closer. As Unseen Academicals hadn't been
published when we sat down to sketch things out a year ago, it
wasn't really something we could look to for a theme. I'm sure
various bits from UA will crop up, but it won't be the theme of the
event.

-- Brian, Chairman, Discworld Convention 2010

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

13.1 WYRD SISTERS IN RAVENSHEAD

Ravenshead Theatre Company's RTG Youth Group present their
production of Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters in November.

When: Friday 20th and Saturday 21st November 2009
Venue: Ravenshead Village Hall, Vernon Crescent, Ravenshead, Notts,
UK
Map http://tinyurl.com/ykzvc6c
Time: 7.30pm
Tickets: Adults £5, children under 14 £4
Box office: 01623 722815 (tickets also available from Godfrey's)

http://www.ravensheadtheatregroup.co.uk/
http://www.ravensheadnewsletter.co.uk/diary.htm


13.2 WYRD SISTERS IN FOURECKS

The Glenbrook Players present Stephen Briggs' adaptation of Wyrd
Sisters, directed by Robyn Pope, in November. There will be six
performances, including two matinees.

When: Evenings 20th, 21st, 27th, and 28th November 2009 and matinees
21st and 28th November 2009
Venue: Glenbrook Theatre, Glenbrook New South Wales
Time: evening performances 8pm, matinees 2pm
Tickets: Fri 20th Nov evening, Sat 21st Nov matinee, Sat 28 Nov
matinee, all $18; Sat 21 Nov evening and Sat 28 Nov evening, Adults
$25, children & students $18; $2 discount per ticket for parties of
8+ (very appropriate number); credit card bookings preferred, and
they accept Mastercard and Visa.
Bookings: (02) 4739 1110

How to get there:
GPS Ref South 33° 45' 56.3"
spacer East 150° 37' 20.1"
Gregorys Ref Map 264 A 16
UBD Ref Map 161 L 16

"The Theatre is situated on the corner of Great Western Highway and
Ross Street Glenbrook. It is beside the Information Centre and on
the opposite corner to the Caltex petrol station. When driving,
access from the north, east and south is most straightforward by
going on to the M4 and proceeding west, signposted Blue Mountains or
Katoomba until you reach the end of the M4 motorway section and then
to continue on the Great Western Highway up a winding hill and down
into Glenbrook. The theatre is on the left hand side of the highway
immediately after the Information Centre."

http://www.glenbrookplayers.com.au/nextplay.html

Glenbrook Theatre and Mash Cafe are also jointly offering a dinner
and show Meal Deal:

Special Fine Dining/Show Deal at Mash Cafe in Glenbrook
Two-Course meal plus coffee, plus booking for Wyrd Sisters -- $65.00
per person -- this offer is only for the evenings of Saturday, 21st
November, Friday, 27th November and Saturday, 28th November. A free
bottle of good wine will be offered to parties of six or more.

Bookings for the meal deal should be made with Mash Cafe on 4739
5908. Mash Cafe staff will arrange the play bookings for Meal Deal
patrons with Glenbrook Players.

http://www.glenbrookplayers.com.au/mash.html


13.3 REVIEWS OF UNSEEN THEATRE'S THE LAST CONTINENT

In The Australian Stage:

"From the moment Bohemian Rhapsody plays as the audience files into
the theatre, over the prone comatose body of a wizard, it's obvious
that this is another absolutely rollicking Unseen escapade. Despite
being set in a fantasy world, the performance feels real, the
characters seem real and the comical situations all ring true.
Thanks to Munt's magical script -- filled with smart observations
and intelligent witty comedy -- and some perfect portrayals of
warped characters, the imagination soars and the ribs ache as jokes
rapidly follow one another..."

http://tinyurl.com/yzpteo9


In Adelaide Now:

"Pamela Munt has done her own adaptation and she knows the
territory, and the venue really well... Alister Preece is athletic
as Rincewind, deftly employing his strong resemblance to the hapless
wizard and Elliot Howard skilfully shapes his various characters, as
do Marlon Dance-Hooi and Hugh O'Connor..."

http://tinyurl.com/yf8nlg4


From BU member Patrick:

I saw it on opening night. It was incredibly enjoyable. The
characters were if not how I'd pictured them in my head, at least
close enough that now they are exactly how I'd pictured them in my
head. The simple stage made it easy to follow the action, and
rightfully the play relies on dialogue rather than props to carry
the story along. Pamela Munt has outdone herself as director & for
her first foray into adapting a Discworld novel to the stage is a
resounding success.

[Editor's note: you may remember Patrick's declaration of epic
journey, all for the sake of Unseen Theatre's production of The Last
Continent, from last month's Around the BU Campus section. Good to
know the journey was worthwhile!]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) THE MASTER, AS AN APPRENTICE

A blast from the past that you might have missed! In a 2002
interview in The Guardian, Pterry discusses his first job and the
bosses he had:

"There I was, with absolutely no authority, moral or otherwise, no
real knowledge about anything, and yet I had this power. I could
actually change lives with a few strokes of the pen. At such a young
age, it seemed an awfully big responsibility..."

http://tinyurl.com/yho5lum

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 4.
If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
OCTOBER 2009 (Volume 12, Issue 10)
*********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the worldwide
Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North
American Discworld Society and other continental groups. Are you a
member? Yes, if you sent in your name, country and e-mail address.
Are there any dues? No! As a member of the Klatchian Foreign Legion,
you'd only forget them...
*********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
Editor Emeritus (retd): Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake, Steven D'Aprano
Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: Tiff
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
time)
Copyright 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDEX:

====Part 1 -- ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

1) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
3) UPDATE FROM THE MASTER
4) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
5) BEHIND THE SCENES: THE STAGING OF NATION
6) CALLING YOUNG PLAYWRIGHTS: HOW WOULD *YOU* ADAPT NATION?
7) PTERRY INTERVIEW: VOICE AMERICA'S AUTHOR HOUR
8) NATION: THE BIG REVIEW
9) YOUNG CRITICS' VIEWS ON NATION
10) DISCUSSING DISCWORLD AT THE LIBRARY

====Part 2 -- MORE NEWS, PLAYS, ODDS AND SODS

11) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
12) CONVENTION NEWS
13) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
14) THE MASTER, AS AN APPRENTICE

====Part 3 -- MORE ODDS AND SODS, ETC.

15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
16) ACTION REPLAY: A COLLEGIATE CASTING-OUT
17) A BREW FIT FOR A...TURTLE
18) ...AND A HEDGEHOG WHO *COULD* BE...UM...
19) GOING POSTAL TELEFILM: NOT JUST FOR DISCWORLD FANS
20) A BLOG REVIEW OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
21) READERS' LETTERS
22) AN AMATEUR REVIEWER WORTH MENTIONING
23) ABP BITS

====Part 4 -- HOROSCOPE AND CLOSE

24) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
25) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1) QUOTES OF THE MONTH

"It's bully on for the next book. It's always bully on for the next
book."

"Fantasy is the oldest genre of them all."

-- Pterry, interviewed on Voice America

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Everything's all about football this month. Even Fernando, our
resident astrologer, is all about football this month. It's more
than just a game, you know...of course, there are *some* things that
aren't about football, such as the run-up to the opening of Nation
at the National Theatre, the various Hogswatch-themed Halloween
parties taking place among Discworld fans, the first Irish Discworld
convention, and, oh yes, your Editor's birthday. So this will be a
very short message. And now it's the end of a very short message.

On with the show!

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

3) UPDATE FROM THE MASTER

Folks,

I had a lovely letter the other day from very religious lady
concerned about my health. She said that I should consider my
Alzheimer's a gift from God. Frankly, I would have preferred a
sweater...

Coming back from the North American Discworld Convention has hardly
been a rest and so my own personal con report and additional thanks
has had to be delayed. More on that later.

On the up side, the progress on I Shall Wear Midnight is rapid,
thanks to Dragon Dictate and rather more to the guys at TalkingPoint
-- the front end that makes it much easier to use -- who made
contact with me through this very page.  I'm so impressed by it,
that if my typing ability came back overnight, I would continue to
use it. I have no hesitation in praising the product as I have
already paid for two licenses and a year's maintenance. Anyway, we
have to do this stuff otherwise what was the point of Star Trek?

The next few weeks are pretty well stuffed with things to do
regarding Unseen Academicals and the celebration football match in
Wincanton at which I shall break my life long vow of never watching
a game of football.

The next big public thing in our diary is the Irish Discworld
convention, which takes in the Falls Hotel in Ennistymon Co. Clare
from the 6th to 9th November.

More later,

(signed) Terry Pratchett


Editor's note: the original of this letter can be found at:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/news/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

4) REVIEWS OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

WARNING TO WOSSNAME READERS: Some of these reviews contain rather a
lot of spoilage. Just saying... -- Ed.


In The Telegraph:

"This is the 37th in a body of work so vast that it has spawned its
own concordance, yet the quality remains as high as ever and the
laughs as plentiful... You can't call what Pratchett does satire --
it's far too good-natured for that -- but he has a satirist's
instinct for the absurd and a cartoonist's eye for the telling
detail..."

http://tinyurl.com/yzxlpa5


In Den of Geek:

"It's difficult to summarise Pratchett's book because, as ever, it
is so rich and complex that you're bound to omit most of the plot
points; it is impossible to sum up any Discworld novel in a broad
sweep because Pratchett crams into one paragraph enough material and
jokes to create an entirely new book. Having said that, these Ankh-
Morpork-based storylines tend to follow similar and simple themes...
If I were to criticise the book at all, it would be that some of his
characters, Ridcully, Nutt, Vetinari are so successfully crafted and
so rounded that they actually eclipse the others... I began reading
the book convinced I was going to be preoccupied by the knowledge of
Pratchett's illness, trying to detect a change or simplification of
writing style, or a deterioration in the intricacy of the humour.
It's an appalling approach to take when starting a book, but given
the fact the Pratchett has become the face of Alzheimer's disease it
was, for me, unavoidable. This lasted for the first twelve pages
after which I realised that Unseen Academicals was going to continue
the trend that I have felt when reading Pratchett's books, that his
novels are actually getting better..."

http://tinyurl.com/yhjwtr7


In The Guardian:

"The secret of Terry Pratchett's comic  fantasy isn't so much the
wackiness of the fantasy as the reliability of the comedy. The very
least you get in any of these 400 pages is amiable, agreeable
chuntering, and there is an instructively regular provision of
terrific lines... There's equally effective quality control of the
comic riffs – as when Stibbons replies with exhaustive honesty
when Ridcully asks what the wizards need to learn about football...
Thirty-seven books in and with sales now topping 60m, Discworld is
still going strong. That would be remarkable enough, were its author
not also now writing against the loudly ticking clock of his
Alzheimer's diagnosis last year – and doing so with undimmed,
triumphant exuberance..."

http://tinyurl.com/yhmw5xn


In The Independent:

"His universe is as fresh and arch as it always was; all the more
impressive considering that Pratchett has now sold almost 10 million
books in the UK, generating more than £70m in revenue. He has now
either written, co-written or been creatively associated (including
high-profile collaborations with Neil Gaiman, another literary
sorcerer) with 100 books. While the majority are based in Discworld,
there is also a highly successful range of tomes for children...
you'd have thought that, by now, Pratchett would be running out of
ideas; thankfully, however, the universe he created 25 years ago
just keeps on giving..."

(Also includes a short review of the Pratchett-illustrated edition
of The Carper People)

http://tinyurl.com/yf9l6tj


On the Tor Books website:

"Humorous but thoughtful, Unseen Academicals combines early
Pratchett at his lightest (Pyramids, Moving Pictures, Guards!
Guards!) with late Pratchett at his heaviest (Monstrous Regiment,
Night Watch, Thud!), resulting in an easy read with a heavy
afterthought... Unseen Academicals is a solid entry in the Discworld
series.  Pratchett is a social satirist at heart, even if he puts
werewolves and the occasional dragon in, and there are few better."

http://tinyurl.com/yfzrkb8

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

5) BEHIND THE SCENES: THE STAGING OF NATION

Here be a glimpse of the nuts and bolts of translating Nation's
wonders and horrors into the National Theatre's stage production of
Mark Ravenhill's adaptation, seen in theatre company member Elaine
Claxton's video diaries on the NT website. Did you know there's
going to be music? Spine-tingling vocal music, inspired by the
exquisite sounds of Pacific Islander songs by the sound of it! We
also get a look at the way the great storm, and the Sweet Judy
riding the tsunami, will be depicted. It looks like it's going to be
truly magical.

Do bookmark the page, as additional video diaries will be added in
the run-up to the show's premiere.

http://tinyurl.com/yzqmkb2

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

6) CALLING YOUNG PLAYWRIGHTS: HOW WOULD *YOU* ADAPT NATION?

Mark Ravenhill, the man behind the National Theatre's production of
Nation (which opens in London very, very soon!), is looking actively
for some competition! And to that end he and Sir Pterry have
*created* a competition, calling on young would-be playwrights to
make a short film of the way *they* would adapt Nation for the
stage:

"When I sat down to read it, I realised that the first thing I had
to do was forget that I might be adapting Nation: I just had to
enjoy it as a good read. No trouble there... Everyone I gave the
book to had the same reaction: how on earth are you going to put all
that on the stage? How are you going to do the tsunami? The sow, the
shark, the parrots? The cave with the giant statues of the gods?
Those bits, I've discovered, are the easy bits... The really
difficult thing is to get to the emotional and philosophical heart
of Pratchett's book, and then realise that in a totally different
medium... Now I want to see how young people would dramatise this
book themselves... After a year working on my own version, I'm
excited to see what you'll come up with."

Prospective playwrights aged between 10 and 17 are invited to have a
go at adapting Nation for the stage, working from an extract chosen
by Terry Pratchett himself from one of his favourite sections of the
book. Here's what to do: adapt it, make a three-minute film, upload
it to YouTube and enter the competition. The two winning entries,
chosen by Terry Pratchett, Nicholas Hytner, Guardian theatre critic
Lyn Gardner and of course Mark Ravenhill, will be broadcast live to
300 cinemas worldwide in January next year "as a curtainraiser to
the National theatre's live broadcast of Nation".

http://tinyurl.com/ygax59f

The extract itself (that wonderful scene in which Mau presents his
rather unusual calling card): http://tinyurl.com/yz48rzc

How to enter the competition:
http://tinyurl.com/yztm8ax

On YouTube, a video of Terry Pratchett and Mark Ravenhill launching
the competition, with a discussion of the re-creation of Nation for
the stage and an explanation of what the winning entries will
achieve: http://www.youtube.com/terrypratchettnation

The Guardian's page with the video:
http://tinyurl.com/ykp7pqg

As mentioned in a related article in last month's WOSSNAME:

For more information and advice on how to adapt a book for the
stage, see www.spinebreakers.co.uk and
www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/discover

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

7) PTERRY INTERVIEWED ON VOICE AMERICA'S AUTHOR HOUR

Listen to the interview:
http://www.modavox.com//voiceamerica/vepisode.aspx?aid=41718

... or read it, as transcribed from the interview:
http://theauthorhour.com/terry-pratchett/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

8) NATION: THE BIG REVIEW

"'It must be nice to be a real author, rather than an amateur like
me, who rolls the thing together with whatever happens to be
floating by,' sighs the man who has written 80 books and
counting..."

In The Telegraph, an in-depth review of Nation -- the Family Book
Club's book of the month -- including an interview with the author:

http://tinyurl.com/yejwwdy

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

9) "AGELESS BEAUTY": YOUNG CRITICS GIVE THEIR VIEWS ON NATION

Young readers from The Guardian's literary competition for children
air their views on Nation:

"Terry Pratchett's Nation was the favourite of Daras Kaur Narula,
12, who described it as: 'A hilarious and clever book.' Kartik
Vira,12, on the other hand, valued Pratchett's story of a boy's
struggles to survive after his world is destroyed by a tsunami, for
its 'powerful questions about God and the purpose of religion'. Sara
Charoenprasit, 13, loved the 'originality and ageless beauty' of
Pratchett's writing..."

http://tinyurl.com/yahasth

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

10) DISCUSSING DISCWORLD AT THE LIBRARY

...the Westland Public Library in Westland, Michigan, in this case.
Among the library's highlighted activities for this month is their
Science Fiction/Fantasy Book Club:

"Join us for a discussion of Terry Pratchett's 'Making Money.'
Reprieved confidence trickster Moist von Lipwig turns his attention
to the Royal Mint in this Discworld adventure. It seems that the
aristocratic families who run the mint are running it into the
ground, and benevolent despot Lord Vetinari thinks Moist can do
better... Copies of the book are available at the Reference Desk."

Science Fiction/Fantasy Book Club takes place at 7 p.m. on 28th
October at the William P. Faust Public Library, 6123 Central City
Parkway, Westland.

Interestingly, the library's "Fantasy Football Mid-Season Get-
Together" for teens and adults takes place on the following evening,
28th October (also at 7 p.m.). How appropriate it would be if they
combined the two events...

http://tinyurl.com/yz68m2b
http://www.westlandlibrary.org/

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 1, continued on Part 2 of 4.
If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2009 -- PART 6 OF 6 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 5 -- HOROSCOPE AND CLOSE

29) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED
30) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

29) FERNANDO'S NO-HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED

"Mr Magnifico, I am your greatest fan and always read your
horoscopes. Your travels from Brindisi to Ankh-Morpork must have
been the very exciting, and you must have had so many adventures! I
have never been outside of Ankh, except once to the Patrician's
Palace with Pater and Uncle George to have some legal matter dealt
with, but I love to read the tales of your travels."

They say that travel broadens the mind, except for the wizzard
Rincewind, who says travel broadens the distance people have to
throw sharp objects at you. Fernando has the very broad mind, nearly
as broad as his magnificent shoulders, and has spent the many years
travelling abroad to broaden his experience in the many things.
Fernando has seen many magnificent places on the Disc, none as
magnificent as Ankh-Morpork, Queen of cities (a noisy and slightly
incontinent queen perhaps, but still queen), but still wonderful in
their own way. One never knows what jewels of experiences you will
find in even the smallest, most out of the way places, such as the
leek-and-weasel soup old Mother Pirogi of Sto Lat makes.

One such place was the small town of Tuzsup in Uberwald. Fernando
cannot tell the story of his experiences with the Mayor's daughter,
for the gentleman never tells (and besides my friends, you would not
believe Fernando if he told you what she could do with a stick and
bucket, and Fernando is not talking about the dance). But Fernando
can tell the story of the Mayor's bellissimo son, who was stolen
away in the dead of night by a band of wandering minstrels, with
nothing more than the clothes on his back, his lute, two suitcases,
a backpack, $15 from the city's coffers, and a mule. The Mayor was
heartbroken, of course, and offered a reward for anyone who would
bring back the mule and the money, and his thanks if the son was
returned as well. Fernando was passing through the town, and of
course when he heard of the great tragedy he offered his services to
the Mayor.

My friends, Fernando is a magnificent woodsman, and knows his way
around the forest as well, so he soon was able to find the
minstrels. Fernando does not approve of the violence, and he pleaded
to the minstrels to let the young man give up his dream of being a
troubadour and return back to Tuzsup, where his father, who is
occasionally fond of him, waited. Alas, my friends, they would not
listen. Fernando does not like to recount what happened next, but
voices were raised, and eventually "push came to shove" as they say
in Morporkian, and not just the shoving but the fighting too.

Fernando is not the violent man, and you know my friends, but soon
clothes were ripped off and five angry young minstrels full of fire
and passion were throwing their hot, angry bodies against Fernando.
But Fernando stood firm and soon took the situation well into hand.
It was a magnificent fight, my friends, five against one, but
Fernando outlasted them all, and when they fell asleep by the fire,
bruised and sore from the battle, Fernando grabbed the Mayor's son,
hoisted him over Fernando's magnificent shoulder, and took him back
to town.

Alas, Fernando forgot the mule and the money, and so did not get the
reward. But do not worry my friends, for Fernando did not do this
for the sake of lucre. The look in the Mayor's eyes when he realised
his son was back, and would be playing Pathway To Paradise on the
lyre at three in the morning, was all the reward Fernando needed.

Until next time,

Ciao bella!


Editor's note:
You too can have your questions answered magnificently by Fernando!
Send your questions by C-Mail to
<Magnifico@...>, and for Roundworld readers, E-Mail
to <magnifico at pearwood.info>.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

30) AND IT'S GOODNIGHT FROM US

...and it really is goodnight, as the clock here in deepest Fourecks
ticks off the final minutes of the month of September...or is it
Sektober yet?

With a bit of luck, we'll have some more comprehensive reports on
NADWcon for your perusal in next month's issue.

Special thanks go to the stalwart students and Faculty of
Roundworld's Bugarup University, for standing in for the Newshound
Gang this month, and to Colin Smythe as always for his invaluable
assistance.

For the denizens of EcksEcksEcksEcks, don't forget to put your
clocks back this weekend. For everyone else, don't put them back --
or forward -- yet; the people down here are rather more relaxed
about setting their clocks and seasons at the same time as the rest
of us.

Take care, and we'll see you next month!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2009 -- PART 5 OF 6 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 5 -- ABP AND HOROSCOPE

27) ABP BITS
28) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

27) ABP BITS

27.1 A QUESTION ABOUT WIZARDS' UNIFORMS...

Just a little question about the wizards in the Discworld novels. Do
excuse me for asking this question and, in doing so, looking like an
idiot; I'm sure the answer's mentioned in at least one of the books.

I was just wondering about the UU uniforms. I mean, in the Last Hero
(and it has been mentioned before e.g. in Last Continent), Ponder
Stibbons wears grey, yet the other wizards wear red. Just
'Pondering', why are there differences in uniform? (*looks ashamed
of her pun*)
-- Bobbin

The only thing uniform about wizards is that they all wear a
wizard's hat. The robes and such are more a sort of style than a
uniform. Each wizard, almost by definition will have a different
robe and indeed a different hat. But it will be a Wizard's Hat. As
has been pointed out many times in the books, a wizard is never
naked if he has his hat.
-- redtiger

One gets the idea that the wizards are so generously proportioned
and comfortable with themselves that if they accidentally wandered
off without any clothing on, the shrieking masses would quickly
provide cover in self-defense.
-- Free Lunch

Yep. Kidby, though, does deck out of *all* the wizards for whom a
robe colour hasn't been specified in the same shade of burgundy,
which I consider to be one of the man's few mistakes.
Out-of-story, the reason Ponder's robes are a greeny-grey with a
rabbit-fur hood is to resemble the Official British Anorak, symbol
of trainspotters and other geeks.
-- Daibhid

Strangely in Sorcery we have the line "Rincewind couldn't disobey.
He  gingerly removed his battered grey hat, looked longingly at its
dishevelled star..." The first mention of red I have found is in
Interesting times "most of the red colour had faded to shades of
orange and brown, but to his relief it was a proper wizard's robe".
Mmm...not sure where all the red robes and hats come from in the
text, but certainly both artists have always opted for the red hat
and robe  ensemble.
-- Reader in Invisible Writings

*Imagines a wizard in a pink robe and hat, with purple and orange
spots* *...then shudders* So really, the whole red/burgundy thing
was kinda Kidby's idea (and possibly Kirby's idea, too)? Granted, it
was never really specified which colour each wizard wore. Still,
kind of makes poor old Ponder stand out, no?... Interesting bit
about his robe resembling a parka, though!
-- Bobbin

Isn't there a connection with academic gowns? In RL, different
universities have different colours for their gowns, and different
linings for the hoods of the gowns, with or without fur, depending
on the subject their wearers studied. The faculty of any given
university  wear the gown and hood of wherever they got their
highest degree, but  only on ceremonial occasions.
-- Lesley


27.2 ...AND ANOTHER ABOUT WIZARDS', UM, RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES

I was reading the Discworld novels, and I'm a little confused about
a small detail. If wizards can't marry or have kids (to prevent
Sourcerers yada yada yada...), how come Ridcully once had a little
'fling' (if I can call it that) with Granny Weatherwax, and also he
permits Mr Stibbons to stay at Lancre with Diamanda, even after
suspecting romantic interests between them (referring to Lords and
Ladies)? Or is there a loop-hole somewhere? Just a-wondering...
-- Bobeth

Romance is not the same as procreation. Some people have difficulty
with the distinction.
-- Nigel

I get the distinct impression *student* wizards can do what they
like, since they aren't wizards yet. In L&L, when discussing What
Might Have Been, Granny points out that if their relationship had
come to anything  Ridcully wouldn't have been a wizard.

And in Making Money, we're told the reason the Department of
Necro... sorry, Post-Mortem Communications has so many students is
because the black outfit and skull ring is a "babe magnet". This
doesn't explain Ponder, though, who graduated in MP, some time
before L&L.
-- Daibhid

Esk and Simon? They weren't exactly prospective parents, but they
were left as a 'couple' to do interesting things with witch and
wizard magic.
-- Jani

Isn't a sourcerer an 8th son of an 8th son of an 8th son? In which
case, the first 7 'dalliances' should be safe...
-- Geoff

IIRC, it is sex which interferes with magical abilities on
Discworld. For many of the student wizards, this is likely not to be
a reason enough to refrain from it, in a similar manner as the fact
that alcohol impairs cognitive abilities doesn't stop some from
heavy drinking. Those talented enough and with an organism strong
enough will still finish their studies - Ridcully made his final
exams with a prize-winning hangover.

Presumably, as the wizards start being more powerful, the actual
experience of doing magic is likely to trump the experience of sex
(cf. Rincewind in TLF), so it ceases to be tempting.

As to Ridcully's affair with Granny Weatherwax, it's clear that
there was no sex involved. The proof to that is Granny's interaction
with the unicorn in L&L.

TBH, I don't recall any connection between Ponder and Diamanda, even
as a mere recommendation from Ridcully. But in MP (I think), there
is a mention of Ponder Stibbons trying to sneak out of the UU to
have a merry time, and after an unpleasant experience deciding not
to leave the premises of the UU ever. So no affairs with babes are
likely any more. The truth is, though, that the Ponder Stibbons
described in MP is so unlike himself in the follow-ups, that in the
Czech translations he appears as two different persons with
different names.
-- Anery

The sourcerer him/herself doesn't necessarily get any sex, just his
progenitors (which will naturally be the case for wizards too!).
I've a vague feeling that sex doesn't bother sourcery, but I'm not
sure there's text evidence on the matter. It's been a long time
since I read the relevant books.
-- Jaimie

Gosh... this is getting more confusing the more you look into it!
-- Bobeth

It's what people think and many Wizards believe to be the case. It
is in the start of Sourcery that the real reason is given.

As said by others, its procreation (and specifically of an 8th son)
that is the problem. OK any children of Ridcully and Weatherwax
would have been Wizards or Witches, but not especially a threat to
reality, or even particularly noticeable. (cf LF Archchancellor
Weatherwax and WA Lily Weatherwax - Granny's older sister CJ Alison
Weatherwax -- Granny's Grandmother) Other Wizards have been noted to
have liaisons such as the dead necromancer (Professor Flead in MM)
who had a concubine. Oh and the Wyrmberg Wizards/Sorcerers never had
any problems.

There are hints that Rincewind even had dalliances LF "Rincewind
knew what orgasms were, of course, he'd had a few in his time,
sometimes even in company" but it then goes on to indicate that
magic is much more  satisfying (for him at any rate).
-- Reader in Invisible Writings

It is clearly stated that Granny Weatherwax ran too fast for at least
one swain, and a unicorn and Nanny Ogg both believe her to be a virgin.
She and Ridcully may have had a dalliance, but in never got as far as
the bedroom/hayfield/cave on the moors.
-- Alec

Ponder in MP is a student (and probably not a very good one) who by
a fluke becomes a graduate. He is like the person who finds that
to multiply 15 by 32 he needs to write it down or preferably look
it up in his Log tables (which contained many tables that were
swept away by the electronic calculator). The very ones who
embraced programmable calculators and then computers as soon as
they could get their arms around them.

Thus he would have been right behind the creation of a 'thinking
engine', something that those "smug students turned over their
papers by snapping their fingers" would not have seen the point in.
When we see Ponder next we are 4 books further on who had the
ambition to "spend the next hundred years ... in the University".
-- Reader in Invisible Writings

I always took it that it was more heartily discouraged rather than
outright banned. If I'm remembering correctly, A Hat Full of Sky
said that the witch, Mrs. Earwig was married to a man who was more
or less described as a retired wizard. So maybe the more rule-
abiding sort kind of turn in their staffs, knobs and all, when they
decide to marry. No word that I recall on whether they married young
enough to possibly have children or if they had any children...

The "ban" seems more stringent near the first bit of the series.
Short of doing the wizard equivalent of "disbarring" you by not
allowing you to live/work/eat at the University or join wizarding
orders, I don't really see how they could put a lot of teeth behind
it, anyway. Maybe the production of Sonky's Penny Preventatives made
the arrival of accidental bundles of sourcery less of a threat?
-- Stacie

As the Discworld Companion says, if magic cared whether you had sex,
Nanny Ogg would be a washerwoman.

Oh, I'd forgotten about that, but you're right. It's more explicitly
said in "The Sea And Little Fishes":

"She's married to a wizard," said Granny "You can't tell me that's
right."

"Well, wizards *can* marry, you know. They just have to hand in the
staff and pointy hat. There's no actual law saying they can't, so
long as they gives up wizarding. They're supposed to be married to
the job"

It could be that once you've given up being a wizard, you're less
likely to father a sourcerer (the magic within you drains away, or
something). Ipslore the Red's problem was that he *didn't* stop
being a wizard. It could also be that this is one of them alternate
pasts Sirpterry sometimes mentions. Maybe the events of Sourcery
disrupted things for the History Monks so much that they quietly
changed history so sourcerers didn't happen.
-- Daibhid

Or maybe the "retired wizard" mentioned there was NOT, in fact, an
eighth son of an eighth son? Not all wizards have to even be eighth
sons, let alone 8th-of-8th, after all. And, of course, if he didn't
sire eight sons himself, then there wouldn't be any risk of an
"eighth son of a wizard", let alone an "8th-of-8th-of-8th" --
although the magic might well have still passed on to whatever
children he did have, as well. It was pretty clear that Ipslore was
a true 8th son of an 8th son, and had 8 further sons, of which Coin
was the last, and that Coin was "a wizard squared... a source of
magic... a sourcerer".

(Of course, if wizards have affairs or one-night-stands and don't
even know how many children they have as a result, then you might
get an 8th-of-8th  who doesn't even know that he is one (and never
takes up wizardry as a result), or even an 8th-of-8th-of-8th,
popping up where nobody expects it. Which of course is a *very
good* reason to discourage wizards from having  sex at all.)
-- Jonathan

On the other hand, there's that young wizard in /Mort/ who
practically doesn't do magic any more because of Princess Keli ...
Perhaps it's different for women and men.
-- Joerg

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

28) NOT THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

by Fernando Magnifico

Buongiorno, it is I, Fernando! The Lady Asterisk is unavailable
today, for she has been bitten by a haggis, but do not fear my
friends, you must be brave, for Fernando shall *not* be your
astrologer today!

Fernando is shamed and mortified, for he is prohibited from writing
the horoscopes today. For you see, Fernando's membership of the
Guild of Prognosticators, Soothsayers, Fortunetellers,
Oneiromancers, Haruspices and Cunning-Men (divers wizards, witches,
priests, priestess and Mrs Cake exempted) has expired! My friends,
Fernando is heart-broken, for he has used his Gooseberry to send the
membership renewal to the Guild a week ago, but it has been lost!
(Fernando has his suspicions that the despicable Carlos is
involved.)

Until the problem is resolved, Fernando is banned from casting the
horoscopes for you, and the Guild official Cornelius Fludd is here,
watching Fernando write in his magnificently strong and manly but
still elegant penmanship, to ensure that Fernando makes no
predictions or horoscopes. So instead Fernando will answer a letter
from a reader, Archibald Kumquat III of Seven Sleepers in Ankh, who
writes:

[Continued in Part 6]

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 5, continued on Part 6 of 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2009 -- PART 4 OF 6 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 4 -- MORE WEIRD ALICE, BU, ABP

25) WEIRD ALICE, CONTINUED
26) BU CAMPUS NEWSROUND

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

25) WEIRD ALICE, CONTINUED: THE NADWCON FILKS

THERE'S A LIGHT (OVER IN PSEUDOPOLIS YARD)

In the smelly darkness
Of Ankh-Morpork's night
Through the blight
There's a lantern blue
The Watch is watching out for you

There's a light
Over in Pseudopolis Yard
There's a light
Showing that we're still on guard
There's a light, light
In the darkness of every Morpork night

The effluent goes
Down the Ankh, so rank and steaming
Morporkia knows
Victims in the Shades are screaming
All through the night, all through the night

There's a light
Over in Pseudopolis Yard
There's a light
Mister Vimes is working hard
There's a light, a light
In the darkness of every Morpork night


SWEET WATCH VAMPIRE

(As sung by Sally and Angua)

SALLY:
How do you do
I see you've met my
Gruff Commander, Sam
He doesn't want me around
It's a species thing
But what I am is what I am
Don't get hung up on my blue-blooded looks
My background's uber-selective
I'm not much of a girl in the sunlit world
But by night I'm one hella detective
I'm just a sweet Watch vampire
From trans-Copperhead Uberwald, uh-huh

Let me read you your rights -- hey, I'm not gonna bite
You look like you're ready to plunge in
Or if you want something steamy
That's kind of museum-y
We could take in the Cable Street dungeon

ANGUA:
I'm sad we're natural foes
Your scent hurts my nose
I can't get my hackles to back down
(Bite!)
We're both not quite what we seem
But we're on the same team
We don't want to get in a smackdown

SALLY:
You think I'm snobby and rich?
Well, bite me, bitch!
See, I'm a real show-stopper
We'll be right on the night
If I hold back *my* bite
Let's try to live the life of a copper
I'm just a sweet Watch vampire
From trans-Copperhead Uberwald, uh-huh

Why don't you come to my flat
(Flat!)
And watch me "go bat"
(Bat!)
I could show you my famous Black Ribbon
I've been Taking the Pledge
Cos it gives me an edge
To abstain when I'm making a livin'
I'm just a sweet Watch vampire
From trans-Copperhead Uberwald, uh-huh
Bite it! Bite it!
I'm just a sweet Watch vampire
(Sweet Watch vampire!)
From trans-Copperhead Uberwald, uh-huh

BOTH:
So come down to the cells
And we'll play "show and tell"
I see you shudder at the smell of... ginger
But maybe our fangs
Are to blame for your angst
So we'll remove the cuffs
But not the danger


THE VIMES TRIP

It's confounding
Time's repeating
My displacement shows
I'm stuck in hist'ry
With a self who's much younger
And someone stole my clothes
I remember
Collaring Carcer
He was the worst of men
Then light-a-ning hit me
And my body was falling
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN

It's just a jump to the roof
And then a whack in the night
Meet yourself as a youth
And hold your crossbow tight
But it's the ginger beer
That makes 'em shiver in fear
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN

It's a rat race
We're plotting for Snapcase
We'll hide out someplace
Till Winder's fall
Sow a seed of confusion
With Treacle Mine revolution
Vetinari sees it all
I'm alone in the wrong place
I want my cigar case
And nothing leads back to my own "when"
See, the Watch is Proceeding
While the city is bleeding
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN

Well, I was down in Cable Street
Too shattered to think
When a Sweeper came by, gave me a knowing wink
He took me to Qu, who made some monks go boom
He had unusual views and a shonky broom
He gave me tea and it tasted strange
Time stopped moving, now it's rearranged

You take a shot from the roof
And then a run through the Shades
Hold the Line for the truth
And build the barricades
But this is too unreal
Because they think I'm John Keel
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN


Additional chorus:

It's just a step in old boots
And an attack in the night
Meet yourself as a youth
And light the Watch house light
Then take it on the lam
To see the birth of Young Sam
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN
LET'S VIEW THE VIMES TRIP AGAIN


DAMMIT CARROT

Hey, Carrot!
Yes, Angua?
I've got something to say
Uh huh?
I really love the...straight-faced way
You read the City Laws
To that mob today

Oh...oh, Ang(ua)!

You started a thing, now we share it -- Carrot
It's barely alive, so don't scare it -- Carrot
To me you smell like good claret -- Carrot
I've one thing to say, and that's
Dammit Carrot, I love you

You're turning into a habit -- Carrot
I would rather chase you than a rabbit -- Carrot
If I echo your words like a parrot -- Carrot
I've one thing to say, and that's
Dammit Carrot, I love you

Here's a collar and a fresh dog biscuit
We've three weeks per month, I know
Interspecies love? -- I'll risk it
Oh A-N-G-U-A, I love you so

Oh, the sight of you makes my heart go bang -- oh, Ang
Thank gods you're showing me no fang -- oh, Ang
I may be square but I know slang -- oh, Ang
I've one thing to say, and that's
Ang, well dang -- love you too!

Oh, Ang
Oh, dammit
I'd hang
(Oh, Carrot)
For you

I love you too
There's one thing left to do, ooh-hoo
We can go all the way if we dare it -- Carrot
There's a wolf in my heart but don't fear it -- Carrot
To be near you I'd live in a garret -- Carrot
I've one thing to say, and that's
Dammit Carrot, I love you

Dammit, Carrot
(Oh Ang, I'd hang)
Dammit, Carrot
I love you


STITCH-A, STITCH-A, STITCH ME (IGOR OF THE WATCH)

I was hurting a lot
Crossbow-shot
I'd never bled like this before
(You mean...?)
(Uh-huh)
I thought there's no use wishin'
For a Watch clinician
That only leads to leeches
And physicians

Now what I want to try
Is not to die
I'm losing blood and I need more
(More, more, more)
I don't need "just a tonic"
I want your skills iconic
You've got the Igor touch
Make me bionic!

Stitch-a, stitch-a, stitch-a stitch me
I wanna be healthy
Pill me, kill me, rebuild me
Igor of the Watch

Then if pieces fall off, please don't scoff
I'll help you don your surgeon's gown
(Gown, gown, gown)
Don't want my blood to feature
Tiny biting creatures
You have a steady hand
And I'm no screecher

Patch-a, patch-a, patch-a patch me
I wanna be germ-free
Check me, wreck me, dissect me
Igor of the Watch

Stitch-a, stitch-a, stitch-a stitch me
I wanna be healthy
Take me, break me, remake me
Igor of the Watch

Oh, stitch-a, stitch-a, stitch-a stitch me
I wanna brand *new* me
Bare me, tear me, repair me
Igor of the Watch

Igor of the Watch

Igor of the Watch (etc.)


And then there was a Rocky Horror song that wasn't City Watch-
themed, but rather dedicated to the forthcoming telefilm of Going
Postal...

GOING POSTAL TV FEATURE (Science Fiction Double Feature)

Moist von Lipwig was saved
The day his death was waived
So he said he'd make a stand
And Miss Dearheart went bust
And formed the Golem Trust
War raged between supply and demand
Then dead letters spoke
And the postmen awoke
They set out to deliver the mail
Then there were lucky breaks
Till baddies raised the stakes
And this is how we'll see the tale:

Going Postal (ooh ooh ooh) TV feature
Postman Moist (ooh ooh ooh) will challenge Reacher
See David Suchet (ooh ooh ooh), Dance and Coyle
A wing-ed hat made (ooh ooh ooh) of gold tinfoil
Woh oh oh ohh oh oh
In the Discworld Going Postal picture show

Moist made scamming look funny
Said "Show me the money"
When he claimed to have Gods on his side
While the Smoking G-NU
Passed their messages through
And the ghosts up in the Overhead cried
Mister Pump's never late
24/8
And Stanley knows his stamps and pins
But when morals clash
And it's all about cash
You're gonna hope that the better man wins
In the...

Going Postal (ooh ooh ooh) TV feature
Mister Gryle's (ooh ooh ooh) a scary creature
See Crispin Horsefry (ooh ooh ooh) sweat and stammer
Grand Trunk guys end up (ooh ooh ooh) in the slammer
Woh oh oh ohh oh oh
In the Discworld Going Postal picture show
Set your TiVo
Oh oh oh ohh
In the Discworld Going Postal picture show
Watch ratings grow
Oh oh oh ohh
In the Discworld Going Postal picture show
With Blind I-o
Wo oh oh ohh
In the Discworld Going Postal picture show

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

26) AROUND THE BU CAMPUS

26.1 BEARDS AND MISTYPES

Libwolf:
Unseen Academicals is coming!
http://www.pjsmprints.com/news/index.html

The Snow Queen:
Is it me, or is Pterry starting to look more wizardly?  Or does that
have something to do with him being a "prood"?

New Bruce:
I only know that either he is starting to look more like my husband
or my husband is looking more like him :)

My daughter and I got our first Discworld book from the library
about 18 years ago and she said then (of the inside cover pic) "gee,
he looks like Daddy!" It's only been the last year and a half (hmm,
since I joined this group!) that I have seen more pictures and video
of Pterry that the resemblance is getting more noticeable. Beloved
is 10 years younger than Pterry but after he had his brain
irradiated it accelerated the ageing process somewhat. He also has
short term memory loss so watching Pterry on the Alzheimer's program
seemed very familiar. When Unseen Academicals is published
"properly" (and I can afford it!) I am going to take a photo of
Beloved in the same pose. I must inform him that he is looking
wizardly :)


26.2 WE LOVE IT WHEN A *PLN* COMES TOGETHER

Vera:
Quoted from elsewhere on teh internets: "Arrgh, I shouldn't have
said that! Now I can't stop imagining the  A-Team as Feegles.
Especially  No'-As-Bad-As-Bad-B.A.-but-Badder-Than-Moderately-Ill-
Behaved-B.A., and  Inyerface Man, and Mad Feegle MacFeegle...and
ogodsnonono the theme music being played on bagpipes..."

Asti:
*hums the A-Team theme* Thank you so much for inflicting that on the
rest of us. So much for trying to work!

Vera:
I can hear mousepipes!

Mogg:
Nooo! my ears are itching!

Alice:
Crivens! That must be the sound of The Feegles singing their
(literal)  hit "There's Gonna Be a Headache Tonight"...

~tunes her mousepipes~

Some Feegle's gonna hurt someone
Before the night is through
Some scunner's gonna come undone
There's nothin' ye can do

Every Feegle wants to nut somebody
Pref'rably all night
Every Feegle wants to break a bit o' face
Make a canny fight

There's gonna be a headache tonight
A headache tonight, ye know
There's gonna be a headache tonight
A headache tonight, ye know
Watch 'em go...

Lu-Pi:
It's just a shame that I can't recall the theme music, and don't
want to go ask YouTube... ;-]

Jase:
It goes
Dah da-dah
Dun dun dah
Dah da-da-dah
Dun duh d-d-d-dah etc

Vera:
You forgot the machine guns and the explosions...

Jase:
I need to call in the Nac Mac Foley...


26.3 TRAVELLING PLAYERS -- OR TRAVELLING *TO* PLAYERS

Lujan:
As I'm sure many of you are aware the Unseen Theatre Company will be
performing Mr Pratchett's most excellent production 'The Last
Continent' next month. Tickets were just $15 and I though to myself
what a bargain. So almost $1000 in airfares and accommodation later,
the Mrs and I are heading to Adelaide for 2 nights from Thursday the
8th until Saturday the 10th, and will be attending the Friday night
premier of this most wonderful play.

Mrs Peculiar:
Now that's what I call dedication to the Pterryverse! If you don't
write a review for WOSSNAME, it will go very hard with you :P


26.4 THE FLOWER OF...

Lu-Pi:
I note that in the WOSSNAME special ed, there is a comment about
"the flower of Discworld Society". My immediate thought was "that
has to be Rafflesia." Nuff said.

Vera:
Only because it's awfully hard to get a wahoonie in this universe!

Someone else:
If they're afp members the Sledgehammer Plant of Bhangbhangduc seems
often appropriate :)

Vera:
I bet one of those has fallen through a tear in the rubber sheet of
the  multiverse, into a certain Knight's greenhouse...

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 4, continued on part 5 of 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2009 -- PART 3 OF 6 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 3 -- PLAYS NEWS, GAMES NEWS, ODD SODS, WEIRD ALICE

16) ACTION REPLAY: SHARING YOUR MEMORIES WITH THE WORLD
17) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
18) CONVENTION NEWS
19) GAMES NEWS
20) REVIEW: GOOD OMENS
21) INTERVIEW: THE SCENT OF PRATCHETT
22) TALES FROM L-SPACE: WORDS FROM THE MASTER
23) TEALIN'S DISCWORLD FAN ART
24) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS: THE NADWCON FILKS

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

16) ACTION REPLAY: SHARING YOUR MEMORIES WITH THE WORLD

http://www.memories-matter.org/

"Popular fantasy writer and Salisbury resident Sir Terry Pratchett
is helping to kick-start a new campaign for the Alzheimer's Research
Trust (ART). The ART Patron has joined a host of celebrities... in
the national launch of the campaign. Memories Matter draws attention
to the memory loss experienced by the 700,000 people in the UK who
live with Alzheimer's and other dementias, and how we could halt
this: through research into new treatments, preventions and cures.

"Members of the public are invited to add their unforgettable
moments -- good, bad or otherwise -- to the hundreds already
collected on the Alzheimer's Research Trust website www.memories-
matter.org, or on Twitter using the #memoriesmatter tag. Selected
memories from the public will also be displayed on the Alzheimer's
Research Trust's Memory Wall, which will tour the country from
this month."

http://tinyurl.com/l4895g

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) THE PLAY'S THE THING: DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

17.1 THE LAST CONTINENT -- ON THE LAST CONTINENT!

The Unseen Theatre Company of Adelaide, South Australia, Fourecks,
who are already long famous for their lovingly crafted productions
of Discworld plays, now present the world premiere of THE LAST
CONTINENT, adapted and directed by Unseen's own Pamela Munt. This
event takes place next month, October 2009. Over to you, Pamela:

"Discworld is a world and a mirror of worlds. This is not a play
about Australia. No, it's about somewhere entirely different which
just happens to be, here and there, a bit... Australian... Still...
no worries, right?"

On the Discworld anything can happen. Or even "not happen".
Sometimes its difficult to know which is which -- even for the
Wizards at Unseen University.

In this case, The Last Continent was "not happening". It was dying,
even as it was being built, and even the Gods who were building it
didn't quite know what was going on. Some thought it was to do with
the space/time continuum. Others thought that there was not enough
magic left in the world to glue all the pieces together. Others
thought it may be something to do with the lack of rain.

The one thing that they did agree on was that it needed a hero. A
hero who could eat a Pie Floater even when he was sober...Yep, its
our old friend Rincewind. The inept wizard who can't even spell
wizard. He's the only hero left. Still...no worries, right?, or as
he would say:-

"Dead is only for once, but running away is forever"...

When: October 9 to 24 (Wed to Sat) at 8pm. (Free tickets night for
Healthcare card holders on 9th October; Opening Night is 10th
October)

Venue: Bakehouse Theatre, 255 Angas Street, Adelaide

Tickets: Adults $18/Concession $15/ Groups (10+) $14; Fringe
Benefits $14

Bookings: www.bakehousetheatre.com (no booking fee) or phone
82270505 ($2 per ticket booking fee applies)

www.unseentheatre.com.au
0401676071


17.2 WYRD SISTERS IN CHESHAM

The Chesham Bois Catholic Players will be performing Stephen Briggs'
adaptation of "Wyrd Sisters" in October, and donating a percentage
of profits to Workaid.

When: Saturday 10th, Fri. 16th and Sat. 17th October 2009
Venue: Little Theatre by the Park, Church Street, Chesham, Bucks HP5
1HU
Time: 8pm (doors open at 7.30pm)
Tickets: £12 and £10 (under 16 and over 60s).
Please email cbcp.wsboxoffice@...
Cheques (made payable to CBCP) should be sent with SAE to CBCP Box
Office, 35 Chessmount Rise, Chesham HP5 1RB

Enquiries to producer: 01494 580327.

There is table seating -- "bring your own drinks, glasses and picnic
if you like! Free coffee and cakes will be served at the interval."


17.3 WYRD SISTERS IN TWYFORD

Twyford and Ruscombe Theatre Group will be performing Wyrd
Sisters on October 8th, 9th & 10th from 8pm.

More details at: http://www.twyrusdrama.org.uk/current.htm


17.4 UNSEEN ACADEMICALS IN ABINGDON

From the virtual pen of Stephen Briggs himself comes the news that
Unseen Academicals has already been adapted for the stage! Over to
you, Stephen:

The Studio Theatre Club is staging its next Pratchett premiere...

17 to 21 NOVEMBER 2009
7.30 (with a 2.30 matinee on 21/11)
Unicorn Theatre, Thames Street, Abingdon
Tickets - £8.00

Tickets ONLY LEFT for Tuesday & Wednesday Nights!!

The novel is with the publishers -- and the STC has already started
rehearsing its stage adaptation!

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old
fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football
with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that keep going when you
drop them. And now, at Unseen University (the multiverse's most
prestigious college of wizardry) the wizards must win a football
match, without using magic. As the match approaches, four lives are
entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football --
the important thing about football -- is that it is not just about
football.

ORDERING TICKETS

To order, please send your request -- with a cheque (payable to
'STC') and a stamped, addressed envelope to: Studio Theatre Club, PO
Box 1486, Oxford, OX4 9DQ. Please mark your envelope, in the top
left corner - UNSEEN ACADEMICALS.

Audience members are encouraged to wear football scarves and bobble
hats - but no whistles, or rattles. We'll have official team
rosettes available at the theatre!

www.studiotheatreclub.com/CurrentPlans.html

Editor's note: there are some excellent photographs of STC's other
Discworld productions (and other STC plays) on this page:
http://www.studiotheatreclub.com/Gallery.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) CONVENTION NEWS

Yes, there *are* other conventions. Hat. Hat. Hat.

DISCWORLD 2010

Hello,

It's the 27th of August, which means that in a year's time the 2010
Discworld Convention will be kicking off! (Actually, a lot of
people will have been in the hotel since the previous evening and I
for one expect to already be having a great time, but officially...)

We already have around 500 members signed up and we know that number
will grow over the next twelve months.

Over the next couple of months we'll be releasing programme
information and starting to let you know what will be happening
during the convention, including details of what we'll be doing with
Guilds this year and, of course, information on our Gala Dinner.

But for now I'd like to let you all know about the guests who will
be joining Terry at the con.  In no particular order the guests we
have confirmed are:

- - Bernard Pearson
- - Isobel Pearson
- - Stephen Briggs
- - Ian Stewart
- - Jack Cohen
- - Jacqueline Simpson
- - Lionel Fanthorpe
- - Colin Smythe

We'll be releasing more information on guests as the con gets closer
(and more people say 'yes').

As always if you have any questions about the con please don't
hesitate to contact us at the following addresses:

Membership - membership@...
Hotel - hotel@...
General Enquiries - info@...

Talk to you all again soon,

Brian
Chairman, Discworld Convention 2010

https://www.dwcon.org/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) GAMES NEWS

In My Broadband, a witty and amusing review of Rhianna Pratchett's
Overlord II:

"...you'll be hoarding loads of cash from all those wretched towns
in your way, and you can blow this on upgrades for your stylish
subterranean babe lair, a New! Improved! arsenal of meat punchers,
or boosting up your mob of adorable goons. There are also a number
of collectibles thingies hidden around the place for you to claim,
increasing your army size, health and mana pools, and suchlike. And
there are thousands of gnomes to murder. Overlord 2 is a wicked
delight through and through. With the plot and superb dialogue
penned by none other than Terry Pratchett's daughter, Rhianna
Pratchett, and 20-odd hours of terror to bring upon the woolly heads
of Nordberg's sorry denizens and beyond, this is a game that's going
to keep you entertained far more than any of that other dribble
you're currently playing..."

http://mybroadband.co.za/techreviews/Gaming/294.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) REVIEW: GOOD OMENS

A review by Rachel Kolb at Celebrity Cafe:

"I expect that 'Good Omens' will be made into a film in the next few
years, and I also expect that not everyone (particularly
conservative Christians) will appreciate the book's humor. I only
have two wishes for the 'Good Omens' movie. First, I hope they
maintain Gaiman and Pratchett's twisted (and borderline
blasphemous) sense of humor. Second, please cast David Hyde Pierce
and Neil Patrick Harris as Aziraphale and Crowley..."

http://thecelebritycafe.com/books/full_review/1898.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) INTERVIEW: THE SCENT OF PRATCHETT

An interesting interview with Elizabeth Barrial of "alt parfumiers"
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, who, as you may remember, offered a line
of Good Omens scents:

"For Agnes Nutter in the Good Omens line, Neil and Terry wanted a
gunpowder explody scent. For Shadwell, I sent Neil and Terry two
versions of the final -- with or without condensed milk. (With
condensed milk was the consensus!) More than anything, I want them
to feel as though their creations are correctly represented... Terry
Pratchett chose the Orangutan Foundation UK for his portion of the
proceeds from the Good Omens scents. Neil asked that the proceeds
from the Neil-inspired jewelry collection at Black Phoenix Trading
Post go to Match It For Pratchett. It's important that you take care
of those in need if it's within your power to do so..."

http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=1503

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

22) TALES FROM L-SPACE: WORDS FROM THE MASTER

Here be a collection of quotations from conversations with Pterry,
back in the days when he had time to converse with the then much
smaller hordes of dedicated fans:

"DW books don't have chapters because, well, I just never got into
the habit of chapters. I'm not sure why they should exist (except
maybe in children's books, to allow the parent to say 'I'll read to
the end of the chapter and then you must go to sleep.'). Films don't
have chapters. Besides, I think they interfere with the shape of the
story. Use a bookmark is my advice..."

http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/words-from-the-master.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

23) TEALIN'S DISCWORLD FAN ART

http://www.nocturnalsoldier.org/Tealin/xhp/disc/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

24) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS: THE NADWCON FILKS

...aka the Discworld Rocky Horror Show.

And so it came to pass, many moons ago, that certain members of the
NADWcon Committee asked Weird Alice Lancrevic if she would be so
kind as to parody the entirety of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, to
be centred around the A-M City Watch and to be performed at the
Convention. And then, as weeks became months, confusion ensued over
whether there would be a full production or not, and where and when
it would be performed, and whether it could be done at all, and
suddenly it was August and songs were requested after all. Now,
Weird Alice being a Bard who's used to composing in a hurry, she
smartly provided a half-dozen or so Rocky Horror parodies which were
duly performed (along with most of the contents of the infamous
Weird Alice Songbook, at the following day's filk session). WOSSNAME
is proud to reproduce them here for the pleasure of those of you who
weren't at NADWcon.

Alice wishes to thank Gary Swaty, Anna and Emily of NADWcon for the
time and effort they spent trying to give these songs a showcase in
their full glory, against considerable odds.

Unfortunately, no recordings of these songs have yet come to light,
so here is Gary's description from his letter of thanks to Weird
Alice, reproduced with permission:

*Since the end of the convention I have been trying to figure out
how to express my complete appreciation of your contribution. I have
no adequate words. Instead I will describe the events. They came off
wonderfully and we owe it to you.

The Rocky Horror event was not as grandiose as I originally
envisioned due to lack of time. What we had was a concert by one
Beka Rose Cavanagh. She was a small shy person, but on stage she
came to life with all the Rocky Horror life and enthusiasm.

There was a "A light (over in the Pseudopolis yard)" and we saw it.

During the "Vimes Trip" the audience came up on stage and Danced
behind the singer.

Going Postal was performed wonderfully and I loved it.

Stitch-a-me was received with enthusiasm and the audience joined in
the chorus. Igor of the Watch lived.

Unfortunately she was not able to do Dammit Carrot alone. (I plan to
use it at an event in May.)

At the regular themed Filk Circle We used your song Book. I printed
up 30 copies which were shared. And I swear in three hours they
attempted nearly every song in the book. The singing quality was not
always high, but the enthusiasm and enjoyment was great.

I call it an unqualified success and we owe it to you. Thank-you.

(On the side: My son Martin drew a Turtle Cover for my copy of the
Book. Terry Pratchett took it away with him)

[Alice says: "All together now -- 'daww!' And I hope Pterry enjoys
singing my songs to himself by his fireside when he gets home..."]

(continued in Part 4, with the actual songs)

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 3 -- continued on Part 4 of 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2009 -- PART 2 OF 6 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 2 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

9)  NATION SHORTLISTED FOR GUARDIAN FICTION PRIZE
10) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
11) MORE DISCWORLD FILMS TO AIR ON SKY TV
12) A YOUTH SCRIPTWRITING CONTEST WITH A SPECIAL EXTRA
13) EVEN THE BOFFINS REFERENCE DISCWORLD NOW...
14) NADWCON: IT'S ALL OVER NOW...UNTIL 2011
15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH: MOSTLY NADWCON

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

9) NATION SHORTLISTED FOR GUARDIAN FICTION PRIZE

Four novels have been shortlisted for the 2009 Guardian children's
fiction prize, "reflecting both the breadth of writing for children
and young adults and an optimism about the power of story to inform
and guide... Terry Pratchett's familiar ability to create new
worlds, to people them and provide them with a past, present, future
and a coherent philosophy is wittily demonstrated in Nation..."

The winner will be announced on 8th October.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/sep/12/nation-terry-pratchett

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

10) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS

10.1 NEW PTERRY ALZHEIMER'S INTERVIEW

A five-minute BBC video interview with Pterry on the beach at
Bournemouth. Some familiar quotes here, but much is new and
extended:

"Let's die with a little bit of pride. I'm an author -- I want to
write my own ending... We live longer than nature designed us to
live, and I think it's well done for us for living as long as we do,
but we have to cope with the problem of it as well..."

http://tinyurl.com/lvvpxj


10.2 ...AND HIS DOCUMENTARY IS UP FOR AN AWARD

The two-part BBC documentary Terry Pratchett: Living with
Alzheimer's is one of the programmes shortlisted for the Full Length
Television Documentary prize in the 2009 Mental Health Media Awards.

"This is the first year the prestigious event, which celebrates the
best portrayals of mental distress and reporting of mental health in
broadcast media, will be managed by Mind following its merger with
Mental Health Media earlier this year..."

For more info and the full listings, go to:

http://www.hc2d.co.uk/content.php?contentId=12733


10.3 ...BUT HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH THE CURRENT STATE OF THE LAW

In The Guardian:

"Pratchett... said yesterday the new guidelines had him 'a little
more angry'. 'No one is really happy with them,' he told the BBC
Politics Show West...  The bestselling fantasy author suggested
instead 'that there should be possibly some kind of non-aggressive
tribunal system where someone who, for whatever reasons, wishes to
end their life -- and I would only really accept medical reasons, I
must say -- can make their points to a magistrate or a coroner,
along with the medical evidence on which they wish to end their
life'..."

http://tinyurl.com/y9vl8dd


10.4 "EMBUGGERANCE" MAKES IT INTO THE OXFORD DICTIONARY OF QUOTATIONS

"Sir Terry has gained his place for describing as "an embuggerance"
his illness when he announced it to his fans. [There are] over
20,000 new quotations to enter the latest, updated edition, the
seventh in the book's 65-year history, to bring in more 21st century
contributions. New quotes come from the likes of British author
Philip Pullman, the scientist Stephen Hawking, US President Barack
Obama and late comedy host and jazzman Humphrey Lyttelton..."

http://tinyurl.com/n3sr68


10.5 NEW GENETIC DISCOVERY HOLDS PROMISE FOR THE FUTURE

"UK scientists working with a French team identified three genes
closely linked to the illness. Blocking the effect of these genes
could cut numbers of 'common' late-onset sufferers by a fifth. The
breakthrough, announced yesterday in the journal Nature Genetics,
was called 'the biggest advance in Alzheimer's research for 15
years' by UK team leader Prof Julie Williams...

"It was feared dementia would hit up to a million people within 20
years, but the genetic research may cut that toll by leading to new
therapies... Two of the new-found genes, identified by the UK team,
are called CLU and PICALM. The third, CR1, was singled out by the
French. CLU and CR1 are linked to the effect of brain inflammation.
PICALM is involved with other functions which help form memories.
Versions of these genes increase the risk of Alzheimer's by 10-15
per cent. The UK study was the biggest-ever genetic probe into
Alzheimer's and involved analysing DNA from more than 16,000 people
over two years."

http://tinyurl.com/lckp89

[Editor's note: the article's photo of Sir Pterry describes him as a
"cult novelist". Ooh, does that mean he gets scary robes and occult
sigils?]


10.6 BICYCLING THE DISTANCE FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH

From the Huddersfield Daily Examiner:

62-year-old dementia sufferer Tony Garrood has undertaken a bicycle
ride from London to Paris to raise money for the Alzheimer's
Society. He intends to pedal approximately 55 to 80 miles per day
alongside a team of other fundraisers.

"Tony takes inspiration from famous fantasy author Terry Pratchett,
who is also living with the onset of Alzheimer's. Tony told the
Examiner: 'Terry Pratchett has been upfront about it and I've taken
his lead. He is a hero of mine and I think that he has helped raise
the profile of dementia considerably. If there's a good time to have
dementia, it is now...'"

http://tinyurl.com/nyjkfh


10.7 SIR PTERRY STILL FIGHTING FOR RESEARCH FUNDS

"The UK's best selling author, who suffers from a rare form of the
disease, said the 'unthinkable is to do nothing at all' as he called
for more funding for research despite the current economic climate.
He will meet Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg before discussing
his experience of Alzheimer's disease at the party's autumn
conference in Bournemouth... The debate, Dementia decade: a cure by
2020?, takes place as an Alzheimer's Research Trust and Alzheimer's
Society-commissioned YouGov poll revealed that 71% of Liberal
Democrat voters believe the Government should increase dementia
research funding despite the current economic climate..."

http://tinyurl.com/njbf9z


"Sir Terry Pratchett, Patron of the Alzheimer's Research Trust, is
to discuss his experience with a rare form of Alzheimer's disease
and demand an increase in government investment in dementia research
at the Liberal Democrat Party Conference today. Sir Terry's campaign
has the backing of leading charities the Alzheimer's Research Trust,
Alzheimer's Society and Age Concern & Help the Aged, while a Liberal
Democrat MP has described the government's record on dementia
research as 'shameful'..."

http://tinyurl.com/l3ka36


"Neil Hunt, chief executive of the Alzheimer's Society, added: 'It
is essential politicians lead the way in devising a co-ordinated
plan and commit to more investment into dementia research if we are
to stand any chance of defeating this devastating disease. Terry's
views are supported by the public. It is clear we must act now.'"

http://tinyurl.com/ls8std

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

11) MORE DISCWORLD FILMS TO AIR ON SKY TV

New Sky1 controller Stuart Murphy has big plans for the network, and
they include our favourite turtle-powered world:

"He referenced Going Postal, the forthcoming Terry Pratchett novel
adaptation, and said the network had two more options on Pratchett
books, of which it will probably do one a year..."

http://www.c21media.net/news/detail.asp?area=4&article=51618

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) A YOUTH SCRIPTWRITING CONTEST WITH A SPECIAL EXTRA

From The Stage (UK):

Penguin Books and the National Theatre have teamed up to launch a
scriptwriting competition for young people. As part of the Big Break
competition, youngsters aged 13 to 18 are invited to read author Meg
Rosoff's debut novel How I Live Now and, using the story, themes
and characters, write a first scene of a script based on the book.

Five winners will be invited to spend a day at the NT Studio working
with professional writers, directors and actors to workshop and
develop their scripts. They will also see a performance of Nation,
based on a novel by Terry Pratchett, adapted by Mark Ravenhill,
opening at the theatre in November.

The judging panel consists of Rosoff, Ravenhill, NT associate
literary director Sebastian Born, NT discover programme associate
director Anthony Banks and Danielle Innes, editor of Penguin's
online teen community Spine Breakers.

For more information and advice on how to adapt a book for the
stage, see www.spinebreakers.co.uk and
www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/discover

http://tinyurl.com/kvsq6g

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) EVEN THE BOFFINS REFERENCE DISCWORLD NOW...

...even if some can't spell it correctly. Here be a letter in The
American Scientist:

"British fantasy author Terry Pratchett's 2007 Diskworld novel,
'Making Money,' features a clone of A. W. H. Phillips's MONIAC
that Brian Hayes described in his column 'Everything Is Under
Control' (May–June 2009). Called 'the Glooper,' this fictional
machine models and predicts the flow of money through the economy of
Ankh-Morpork, the Diskworld's largest city. When carefully adjusted,
it also controls that flow. Realizing this, the Glooper's operators
conclude that turning such a device over to the government would
place it in the wrong hands. Obviously, that's fantasy..."

http://www.americanscientist.org/issues/pub/fantasy-is-reality

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) NADWCON: THE AFTERMATH OF A ROUSING SUCCESS

14.1 THE TIMES REPORTS ON NADWCON

...as it were. Here be the links to five very special editions of
the Ankh-Morpork Times, as published by the North American Discworld
Convention gang. And very handsome-looking virtual broadsheets they
are indeed:

http://nadwcon.org/Newsletter/AnkhMorporkTimesVol1.pdf
http://nadwcon.org/Newsletter/AnkhMorporkTimesVol2.pdf
http://nadwcon.org/Newsletter/AnkhMorporkTimesVol3.pdf
http://nadwcon.org/Newsletter/AnkhMorporkTimesVol4.pdf
http://nadwcon.org/Newsletter/AnkhMorporkTimesVol5.pdf


14.2 ANOTHER NADWCON REPORT: HEM HEM

From the experiences of the Guild of Seamstresses -- the Roundworld
version (certain cervices definitely *not* provided!) -- a
needle's-eye report in three parts:

http://tinyurl.com/yj34xqb
http://tinyurl.com/yjuw4gq (with video...and bustle)
http://tinyurl.com/ylxtggd (with costume awards video)


14.3 ...AND A DIFFERENT SORT OF CONVENTION REPORT

Here be a fascinating document by Colin Smythe, who of course is
Pterry's long-serving agent (when not himself serving as the Seriph
of Al-Khali at NADWcon). This is a fine slice of The Author's
publishing history, complete with early personal correspondence
between Pterry and Colin Smythe:

"My friend sums up his argument by saying that a writer should not
exploit a landscape and universe invented for one book in another,
unless the second book is deeply bound up with the first. Having
considered all this I'm still planning to go ahead, but I would be
interested to hear your view on sequels..."

http://tinyurl.com/y9obluw

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH

15.1 SOME NADWCON ICONOGRAPHS

A truly awesomely rendered Ronnie Soak and Susan Sto Helit (which
just might prove that Ronnie is related to The Middleman):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/futuregirl/3893972845/

Now *that's* what I call a believable Nanny Ogg!:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/futuregirl/3893970399/

Look at all those dear little legs:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/futuregirl/3893928989/


15.2 ...AND SOME MORE NADWCON ICONOGRAPHS

http://www.flickr.com/groups/nadwconphotos/

Slideshow:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/845226@N20/pool/show/

Four pages of pictures of the con:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/futuregirl/

...and my personal favourites, the Photobucket photostream of one
Greebo 13. This set of NADWcon iconographs gets my number one vote,
both for sheer volume -- ten pages -- and for breadth and variety of
subjects that others' picture records seem to have missed, e.g. the
Thieves' Guild and a lot of the costumes that *didn't* win prizes
but perhaps ought to have done.

Here's the starting point for Greebo 13's set:

http://tinyurl.com/ye3jmw5

Oh right, and the the personal favourite. Here it is, and it's a
stunner (and possibly also a scunner) -- the label from a box of
Higgs & Meakins Feegle Kisses chocolates!

http://tinyurl.com/yaelm2q


15.3 ...AND SOME NADWCON VIDEOS

Pterry Q&A various:

Q&A 1 (includes spoilage for Unseen Academicals):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXFW7afcuDI&feature=related

Q&A 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RIV-sVjijM&feature=related

Q&A 3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRjyNuu94V8&feature=related

Q&A 4:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFDgaIrvh7w&feature=related

Q&A 5:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNLwCgryPk&feature=related

Q&A 6:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HVwCV2DcbY&feature=related

Q&A 7:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwGp71tXI3Q&feature=related

Q&A 8:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zMtjzEXBKs&feature=related

Q&A 8a:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKBWsa65XM&feature=related

Q&A 9:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj63sRgIXCo&feature=related


15.4 ...and just for something that isn't NADWcon themed, here is a
repeat viewing of the famous Discworld cake featured in WOSSNAME a
while back, along with a selection of other science-fiction and
fantasy-themed cakes of note:

http://scifiwire.com/2009/09/17-amazing-sci-fi-themed.php

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
SEPTEMBER 2009 (Volume 12, Issue 9)
*********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the worldwide
Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North
American Discworld Society and other continental groups. Are you a
member? Yes, if you sent in your name, country and e-mail address.
Are there any dues? No! As a member of the Klatchian Foreign Legion,
you'd only forget them...
*********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
Editor Emeritus (retd): Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake, Steven D'Aprano
Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: Tiff
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
time)
Copyright 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDEX:

====Part 1 -- ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

1) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
3) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS: READ THIS!!!
4) PTERRY INTERVIEWED IN NEW SCIENTIST BY...YOU?!
5) ...AND A NEW INTERVIEW IN THE TELEGRAPH
6) HERE COMES NUMBER 37 (DEPENDING ON HOW YOU COUNT 'EM)
7)  REVIEW OF UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
8)  ...AND HERE COMES NATION

====Part 2 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS

9)  NATION SHORTLISTED FOR GUARDIAN FICTION PRIZE
10) PTERRY AND ALZHEIMER'S NEWS
11) MORE DISCWORLD FILMS TO AIR ON SKY TV
12) A YOUTH SCRIPTWRITING CONTEST WITH A SPECIAL EXTRA
13) EVEN THE BOFFINS REFERENCE DISCWORLD NOW...
14) NADWCON: IT'S ALL OVER NOW...UNTIL 2011
15) IMAGES OF THE MONTH: MOSTLY NADWCON

====Part 3 -- PLAYS NEWS, GAMES NEWS, ODD SODS, WEIRD ALICE

16) ACTION REPLAY: SHARING YOUR MEMORIES WITH THE WORLD
17) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
18) CONVENTION NEWS
19) GAMES NEWS
20) REVIEW: GOOD OMENS
21) INTERVIEW: THE SCENT OF PRATCHETT
22) TALES FROM L-SPACE: WORDS FROM THE MASTER
23) TEALIN'S DISCWORLD FAN ART
24) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS: THE NADWCON FILKS

====Part 4 -- MORE WEIRD ALICE, BU NEWSROUND

25) WEIRD ALICE, CONTINUED
26) BU CAMPUS NEWSROUND

====Part 5 -- ABP AND HOROSCOPE

27) ABP BITS
28) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

====Part 6 -- HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED, AND CLOSE

29) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED
30) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1) QUOTE OF THE MONTH

QotM

"Having experienced over two decades of signing trips and tours,
Terry says that touring is for young men: even with a permanent
minder it is still exhausting and will kill one faster than drink or
women, although he says he's hoping to have the chance to test
this theory out."

-- Colin Smythe

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Quickly now, because this is a very long issue and I don't want to
take up valuable news space: Unseen Academicals comes out next week;
the Unseen Theatre (of Fourecks) presents the world premiere of The
Last Continent on stage; Stephen Briggs and the Studio Theatre
Company will present the world premiere of Unseen Academicals,
adapted for the stage, in November (tickets are going *very* fast),
New Scientist magazine has been taking submissions for readers'
questions to pose to Pterry for a special issue in the near future,
and there are some interesting new developments on the Alzheimer's
Disease battlefront. And lots and lots of other stuff, so...

On with the show!

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

3) UNSEEN ACADEMICALS: READ THIS!!!

For those of you who can't wait to have a bound book in your hands,
HarperCollins has kindly put the first 77 pages of Unseen
Academicals up on their website for perusal, hurrah!

http://tinyurl.com/mwcxp4

...and for those of you who want to read an essentially spoiler-free
review of the entire book, scroll down the page...

...and here's another review, reasonably spoiler-free, by Lesa
Holstine, a library manager in Glendale, Arizona, where Pterry gave
his recent talk a couple of weeks ago:

"If you're a sports fan who never read one of Terry Pratchett's
books, Unseen Academicals is the one you should read. And, if you're
one of his millions of worldwide fans, it's Pratchett's observations
on sports, sports fans, a little Romeo and Juliet, and racism. And,
it's done with his typical wordplay and cleverness. It's another
success..."

http://tinyurl.com/ya4ajc8

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

4) PTERRY INTERVIEWED IN NEW SCIENTIST BY...YOU?!

"Next week, we're going to interview Terry Pratchett, author of the
enormously successful Discworld series of books -- or rather, you
are. Tell us what questions you'd like to put to him in the comments
below. We'll run the interview in a forthcoming issue of New
Scientist. Remember, the more original your question is, the more
likely it is we'll pick it -- which means 'Where do you get your
ideas?' is out, for a start. And bear in mind we cover science and
technology, not writing or publishing.

"Thinking caps on, then. Or should that be pointy hats?"

http://tinyurl.com/yfft8q2

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

5) ...AND A NEW PTERRY IN THE TELEGRAPH

"One of the delights of the job is controlled serendipity. I have
lots of weird books like 'The History of False Teeth' and 'The
Frozen Water Trade in the Southern United States in the 18th
Century'. All this stuff streams down into me. My own books drive
themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but
essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter
of joining the dots -- and that process really hasn't got any more
difficult since my diagnosis..."

http://tinyurl.com/yc26n2z

The more eagle-eyed among you, like Asti of Bugarup University, will
have noticed that the famous Pratchgan quilt is draped over a chair
in Pterry's study!

The Pratchgan, as featured in WOSSNAME a while back:

http://tinyurl.com/66dppb

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

6) HERE COMES NUMBER 37 (DEPENDING ON HOW YOU COUNT 'EM?)

From The Examiner (USA):

"Terry Pratchett, one of the top-selling authors in the world, will
have the 37th installment of his "Discworld" series available
Oct. 6, 2009... The title, Unseen Academicals, takes place at Unseen
University where the wizards are renowned for many things --
sagacity, magic, and their love of teatime -- but athletics are not
on the list. Before long a UU football team is established. First,
they must figure out what makes the sport -- soccer with a bit of
rugby thrown in -- so popular and they must win a football match
without using magic. Lives are changed, because, the thing about
football -- the important thing about football -- is that it is not
just about football..."

http://tinyurl.com/loz72n

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

7) REVIEW: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS, A BOOK OF TWO HALVES
by Annie Mac

They say football isn't just about football, and I say Unseen
Academicals isn't just about football either.

It is, however, about...erm...balls.

And pies.

And many different kinds of equality.

And pies.

And the many definitions of love.

And pies.

Unseen Academicals starts out as what's usually referred to as a
romp, apparently one of the "lighter" stories in the Discworld saga,
and as I read it I was thinking yes, fine, fair's fair, they can't
*all* have the scope and gravitas of Night Watch. But as I read on,
the surface pantomime of familiar Ankh-Morpork suddenly wearing the
scarves and knuckledusters of British soccer culture gave way to
deeper and deeper levels of something far more potent. By page 90 I
was well and truly pulled into the story. By page 110 I was
shivering. By page 160 I was thinking to myself, "this is the thing
and the whole of the thing". Deep, powerful, earthy-as-a
-continental-plate unvarnished truth about individual life choices
and social rituals, dressed in a masterfully sculpted pie-crust
of subtle satire and unsubtle bawdy observation and garnished --
like a street vendor's pie at a footy match what's been tarted up to
pass muster at yer posh restaurant, don'cha know -- with a dusting
of the daft, surrealistic wit we've come to know and revere as one
of Pratchett's trademarks.

And it's a gorgeous story. With a beautiful ending. And a bouncing,
jouncing, walloping, nudge-winking, kneecapping, goal-bashing
cauldronful of mystery, misdirection, magnetism, mayhem and magic
all along the way.

I've long suspected that Discworld, Roundworld, Middle Earth and
"game space" (both our own and the fictional game space of Only You
Can Save Mankind) are all connected, probably by way of the infinite
multidimensional corridors of L-space, and reading Unseen
Academicals only serves to deepen that suspicion -- though I can't
say more without giving too much away, muhahahaha...

What we have in Unseen Academicals is a Discworld story, no question
of that. But what we also have is Romeo and Juliet (via West Side
Story), a soupcon of Cyrano de Bergerac, a large nod to Shelley's
Frankenstein (think of it as "suppose Victor, the Monster's creator,
had been a forward-thinking international diplomat instead of a
self-pitying absent parent..."), an affectionate, heartfelt bow to
the author's favourite author, JRR Tolkien... and, of course, the
patchwork mythology of football.

Oh, and there's a witch called Glenda the Good. Actually, she's just
called Glenda and she's head cook and general manageress at the
Unseen University Night Kitchen, but she *is* a force for good and a
voice of Sweet Reason, and she possesses all the salient qualities
of a working Discworld witch: tending to the sick, elderly and
simple out of a sense of community duty; seeing what's really there;
speaking for "them as have no voices"; knowing when and how to be
invisible, and when and how to be a towering presence, or at least
an unstoppable one. Glenda is very much in the mould of Petulia
Gristle and of a more adult, emotionally integrated Agnes/Perdita.

Ankh-Morpork and the rest of the Discworld continue to evolve,
swallowing new concepts and new developments and incorporating them
into the present -- and future -- with a unique Discly twist. The
Disc may be getting smaller, just as our own world is in the age of
high-tech and instantaneous communication, but more importantly,
it's growing up.

As the story unfolds, we see some of those those changes, and we
also see how the power of names affects people -- people of all
species -- as well as affecting the people-of-all-species around
them. The Watch, for instance: once mere Watchmen and despised as
bumbling and incompetent, they became "coppers" (a spikier, more
effective presence), then Sammies (an acknowledgement that the
Commander of the Watch is watching *you*), and now they are the "old
Sam" (an accepted and, where appropriate, feared part of everyday
street life). Then there's Mister Nutt, who lives in fear of
learning his own true name. There's Juliet, whose family name is a
constant reminder of her supposed worthlessness. There's the head of
the Department of Postmortem Communications, who has learned that
the spelling of a name makes *so* much difference. And there's a
certain senior wizard whose name...well, that would be telling...
Another theme in Unseen Academicals is that of social standing
versus actual social importance. Over and over, we see that, in
modern Ankh-Morpork, the circumstances of one's birth pose little
barrier to fame, fortune and even political effectiveness, so long
as you can walk that walk -- or bake that pie.

In Unseen Academicals, we meet many old familiar characters and a
number of new characters whose *rightness* makes them seem instantly
familiar. We discover that it isn't just Igors who understand the
true meaning of the phrase "a self-made man". We are introduced to
lifestyles that, while they haven't been shown or even alluded to
before in Discworld stories, seem perfectly in place because when we
think about it, they *had* to have been there all along. And we get
to know some instantly iconic characters, including one who's
definitely a spiritual relative of Captain Jack Sparrow (a man who
certainly knows about the power of Image)... in fact, some of the
most iconic characters since Greebo first morphed into a second
career in black leather.

I want to say so much more, but I'd have to do major spoilage. And
we can't be having with that, can we?

Unseen Academicals. Buy it. Read it. And don't worry if you know
nothing about soccer. After all, football is more than just a
game...

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

8) ...AND HERE COMES NATION

8.1 ON THE LONDON STAGE IN NOVEMBER...

"Terry Pratchett's serio-comic novel 'Nation,' about life on a
tsunami-ravaged island in the 1860s, is promised a spectacular
staging at the National Theatre from Nov. 11, directed by Melly
Still..."

http://tinyurl.com/nrvxzs


8.2 ...AND AT A CINEMA NEAR YOU EARLY NEXT YEAR

The cinecasts of NT Live's production of Nation will be screened at
hundreds of cinemas around the world from late January 2010 onwards.
Do keep checking the page (link given below), as venues are being
added regularly. And remember, this exclusive run is a short one --
two performances per venue -- so don't forget to book in advance
where you can!

The page includes links and info for local cinemas:

http://tinyurl.com/nsc7z7

UK venues will include London (Belsize Park Brixton, Chelsea,
Clapham, East Finchley, Greenwich, Islington, Kensal Green, Notting
Hill, Richmond, Stratford, Wimbledon); the Southeast (Ashford,
Brighton, Chichester, Farnham, Guildford, Henley, Milton Keynes,
Oxford, Oxted, Stevenage, Tunbridge Wells); the South (Basingstoke,
Dorset); the East (Bury St Edmunds, Cambridge, Colchester,
Huntingdon, Norwich, Aldeburgh); the Southwest (Bath, Cheltenham,
Christchurch, Exeter, Isle of Wight, Malvern, Plymouth, Southampton,
Tewkesbury, Winchester, Yeovil); the West Midlands (Birmingham,
Coventry, Shrewsbury, Stratford-on-Avon); the East Midlands
(Kettering, Lincoln, Nottingham); the Northeast (Boldon,
Middlesbrough, Newcastle, Lincoln); the Northwest (Blackpool,
Liverpool, Manchester, Manchester Didsbury); Yorkshire (Harrogate,
Hull, York); Cumbria, Ambleside, and Guernsey; Scotland (Aberdeen,
Dundee, Edinburgh, Falkirk, Galashiels, Glasgow) and Wales
(Aberystwyth, Cardiff, Llandudno, Monmouth, Newport, Prestatyn).

International venues -- some 200 or more cinemas around the world --
include Australia, Belgium, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark,
Estonia, Finland, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico,
Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Romania, South Africa, Spain,
Sweden, and USA:

http://tinyurl.com/n5db47

Note for Fourecksians: the screening dates Down Under are given as
Saturday 13th February and Sunday 14th February 2010. Venues range
across the country from Fremantle to Sydney (and even down to
Tasmania and up to Queensland).

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 1, continued on Part 2 of 6.
If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
7th SEPTEMBER 2009
*********************************************************************

WOSSNAME SPECIAL EDITION SEPTEMBER 2009: THINGS THAT JUST CAN'T WAIT

*********************************************************************

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

INDEX:

1) A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
2) JACQUELINE SIMPSON DISCWORLD LECTURE, 14 SEPTEMBER
3) ABP LONDON SEPTEMBERMEET, 19 SEPTEMBER
4) SHARE YOUR MEMORIES FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH
5) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Once again we get caught out by the ever increasing number of
Pratchett and Discworld-related events on the calendar. These won't
wait for WOSSNAME's usual monthly publication date, so here you
go...

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

2) JACQUELINE SIMPSON DISCWORLD LECTURE NEXT WEEK IN WORTHING

It's library time! For those of you who live in, or can get to, the
south of England, Folklore of Discworld co-author Jacqueline Simpson
is giving a lecture about Discworld at the Worthing Library in
Worthing, Sussex on Monday, 14th September.

Tickets are £3 and are "available from all libraries", according to
this article. Probably not from libraries in other countries, but I
suppose in L-Space all things are possible...

http://tinyurl.com/m6flep

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

3) SEPTEMBERMEET 5

Calling all Pratchett fans in the London area! Countertony wants
you!

In alt.books.pratchett, The Countertony writes:

Well, this is the fifth time I've hosted a meet in London (would
have been the sixth, but for my moving around in 2007) and so this
year we take it back to where the tradition [1] started - the Green
Man pub. We have the basement booked, and all systems are go!

Where?
383 Euston Road, London NW1 3AU -- take the tube to Great
Portland Street, exit the station and turn eastwards. Google Map via
http://preview.tinyurl.com/kpdwfz

When?
From 18:00 on Saturday 19th September

Who?
You! Her! Him! Them! Everyone!

Why?
Whether it's going back to school/uni/college, taking the *kids*
back to school/uni/college or just missing the hot summer sun (ha!),
most of us feel the need for a bit of AFP therapy administered via a
glass of something and a silly hat about this time of year. That's
why the meets started at least, and they seem to have been
reasonably successful thus far.  :-)

Beer?
When I phoned up they said they always keep a bunch of real ales and
real cider on, so the answer is "yes"...or possibly "yes please!"

[1] now, of course, a positively *ancient* tradition...

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

4) ADD YOUR MEMORIES FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH SUPPORT!

As part of the run-up to World Alzheimer's Day -- 21st September --
the Alzheimer's Research Trust is inviting people to post their most
memorable moments to their online Memories Matter campaign. The
Memories Matter site aims to raise awareness about the tragic memory
loss caused by Alzheimer's Disease and other dementias.

Sir Pterry has already added one of his cherished memories to this
charmingly designed and poignant board (viewers of the Terry
Pratchett: Living with Alzheimer's documentary will recognise the
anecdote), as have many other celebrities and "ordinary" people,
including your Editor, so why not give it a go?

You can add your favourite memory, signed or anonymously, and there
is also a link for donations to the Trust.

www.memories-matter.org

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

5) CLOSE

As I type these words, the inaugural North American Discworld
Convention is entering its final hours. Our regular monthly issue
will feature reports, Little Moments (hopefully, not like
Stanley's), and photo links, but for now, here's a lovely short
NADWcon video in which Pterry presents the costume awards from the
Maskerade, recounts the infamous Feegles Invasion anecdote, and
shakes Death of Rats by the, um...hand?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ll85pJ2Zi0

Here's hoping that the rest of the convention is as marvellous as a
marvellous thing, and that the organisers and Team Pterry enjoy a
well-deserved rest afterwards. See you in a few weeks!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2009 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 3 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS, AND STUFF

7) REMINDER: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER
8) NATION AUDIOBOOK -- AND NOVEL -- PRAISED
9) LORD VETINARI XXV PIN NOW AVAILABLE
10) MORE MARVELLOUS DISCWORLD FIGURINES
11) BICYCLING FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH
12) PTERRY'S A RECYCLED BESTSELLER
13) BOOK AWARDS 101: THE LEADING LIGHTS
14) THE FINE TRADITION OF BEING A "HACK WRITER"
15) REVIEW: THIEF OF TIME
16) IMAGE OF THE MONTH: XKCD ON DISCWORLD SHELF SPACE
17) DISCWORLD TATTOO WINS CONTEST
18) DEATH OF DISCWORLD MAKES AN IMPRESSION
19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
20) GAMES NEWS
21) DUTCH DISCWORLD CONVENTION IN 2011

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

7) REMINDER: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER

As featured in last month's issue. The release date for Unseen
Academicals is 6th October 2009. For the Amazon pre-ordering link,
go to:

http://tinyurl.com/mqggnu

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

8) PRAISE AND RECOMMENDATIONS FOR NATION

8.1 YALSA's 2009 Amazing Audiobooks for Young Adults includes
Nation:

"Narrator Stephen Briggs' crisp, precise British narration artfully
enhances Terry Pratchett's "survival story focusing on 13-year-old
Mau and British teen Daphne, the sole survivors of a tsunami."

http://tinyurl.com/ktfcpe

Also, from Examiner.com:

"This is nine hours of story on an eight disc set..."

http://tinyurl.com/m8z4bm


8.2 Nation recommended for Canadian summertime readers

In Ottawa's Daily Observer:

"This summer, Kimberley's reading choice, for all ages to enjoy, is
'Nation' by Terry Pratchett. In this novel, the author creates a
whole new beautiful world with original characters that add to the
already interesting story-line. This book will make you laugh,
think, and imagine what it would be like to live in the world of
Terry Pratchett's Nation."

http://www.thedailyobserver.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1691629

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

9) LORD VETINARI XXV PIN NOW AVAILABLE

"As the absolute ruler and self professed despotic dictator, Lord
Vetinari hardly needs supporters, but in a strange way he controls
the City almost as effectively as Carrot wears it..."

In honour of 25 years of Discworld (and maybe the golden anniversary
of Lord Vetinari's rule?), PJSM Prints offers a new 1-inch pin badge
in a limited edition of 200. The Vetinari pin costs £23.99 and is a
handsome confection of red, silver and gold (but sadly, no stygium).

Also, last month's Captain Carrot limited edition of 200 pin badges
is almost entirely sold out now! There are only a few remaining, at
a cost of £21.99.

The Discworld collectible pins are limited to one per household (it
says on the site), and profits from the sale of these pins will be
divided between the Royal British Legion (Jersey) Poppy Appeal and
the Alzheimer's Research Trust.

http://www.pjsmprints.com/pins/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

10) MORE MARVELLOUS DISCWORLD FIGURINES

PJSM Prints now offer five new 30mm cast metal Discworld miniatures:
Ridcully (with crossbow), Casanunda (with sword and, of course,
stepladder), Otto Chriek (with iconograph and salamander), Granny
Weatherwax (dressed for the opera in Maskerade), and Twoflower (with
iconograph and I Love A-M hat). Granny, Otto and Casanunda figurines
are £8.00 each, and Ridcully and Twoflower figurines £7.50 each.
Every figurine comes with a round base for mounting:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/miniatures/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

11) BICYCLING FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH

Two Slough (UK) bicyclists, Owen Wilson and James Evans, have
pedalled more than 1026 miles from Land's End to John o' Groats to
raise money for the Alzheimer's Research Trust in honour of their
favourite author, Terry Pratchett:

"The intrepid explorers battled against the elements throughout the
gruelling journey... The epic journey, in which the fighting fit duo
climbed well over 69,000 feet and were fuelled by plenty of bananas
and chocolate, has already raised £1,300..."

http://tinyurl.com/numpxv

Unfortunately, the donations link is incorrectly typed on the page.
To donate:

http://www.justgiving.com/jimowenlejog/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) THE LIBRARIAN APPROVES: PTERRY'S A RECYCLED BESTSELLER

Here be a fascinating article in The Guardian about a new kind of
bestseller list: recycled books in the Oxfam charity shops. Oxfam
claim that their recycled bestseller list is the first of its kind,
and Terry Pratchett is ranked fifth on its list of the top ten most
popular sellers.

It's interesting to note that Oxfam don't just sell "junk" books; in
amongst the battered pulp paperbacks and unwanted coffee-table
lifestyle hardcovers are some genuine gems -- for example, a donated
first edition of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings that sold for £800 a
few weeks ago!

http://tinyurl.com/m6xtag

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) BOOK AWARDS 101: THE LEADING LIGHTS

A round-up of SOME OF the past year's winners of some YA book
competitions, including the Printz Award, makes for interesting
reading itself:

"Nation does not dissappoint[sic]. While this book is not the comic
fantasy joyfest that he normally writes, Pratchett brings his usual
detailed depictions and odd storylines to life."

http://tinyurl.com/ljerhh

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) THE FINE TRADITION OF BEING A "HACK WRITER"

Here be Guardian columnist David Barnett singing the praises of
popular and populist authors down through the ages. Well worth
reading!

"Last month I met and interviewed Terry Pratchett, on the occasion
of him being awarded an honorary doctorate by the University of
Bradford. By way of breaking the ice, I told him that he'd done
good, for a former hack -- a reference to Pratchett's early days as
a local newspaper reporter. 'I'm still a hack,' the Discworld author
insisted, with no small measure of pride, and a pinch of
defiance..."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/aug/13/hack-writers

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

15) REVIEW: THIEF OF TIME

In The Examiner:
"He has been compared to Douglas Adams countless times. Many say he
is if fact the Douglas Adams of fantasy fiction, I disagree. Terry's
humor is more defined, and his plot much better in terms of story...
One of the best thing about Terry is just how realized his world is.
Every strange nuance, no matter how strange, just fits..."

http://tinyurl.com/mpjagh

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

16) IMAGE OF THE MONTH: XKCD ON DISCWORLD SHELF SPACE

...needs no explanation!

http://xkcd.com/625/

Don't forget to run your Hex mouse over the image: "hidden text" is
a well-known feature of XKCD.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) TATTOO-ONNA-ARM CHARMS THE JUDGES

A British tattoo artist has won an award for the Discworld collage
tattoo he inked on a client's arm. Her *entire* arm:

"'It's awesome and I love it," she said "It's a tribute to Terry
Pratchett. We had a few of the books and went trawling through them.
Some of the characters were the death chain, death himself, death's
grand daughter, Quoth, Rincewind the inept wizard and the god that
turned into a tortoise as nobody believed in him..."

http://tinyurl.com/kkzatc

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) DEATH COMES TO US ALL...

...even to op-ed columnists in far-flung newspapers:

"DEATH - Terry Pratchett's sombre character, dressed in robes and
carrying his all-encompassing scythe awaits us all, and not just
those in the Discworld either. His, for we are assured by his
chronicler that he is very much a male, is a public service of
sorts, as DEATH collects us all, eventually, and no manner of flight
can delay or prevent this. Baring [sic] this in mind, there are, at
the very least, two meanings to that oft-misunderstood word,
'flight'..."

As it turns out, this is not a timely piece referencing the current
UK assisted-dying debate, but rather a somewhat incoherent attempt
to draw parallels between flying and war, torture and other fatal
punishments inflicted by governments and civilian thugs throughout
human history. Make of it what you will; at least our favourite
Death gets a mention...

http://tinyurl.com/mgftv4

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) PLAYS NEWS

19.1 LORDS AND LADIES IN COULSDON -- TWO REVIEWS

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon's recent outdoor production of Lords and
Ladies was a resounding success. Here be two different reviews, both
long and both approving...

From the Croydon Advertiser:

"Tanya Allison and Penny Payne, as Granny and Nanny respectively,
delivered their intrigue with clarity and cunning with Emma Griffin
as the delightful Magrat turning from demure bride into a virago to
defend her groom. Luke Argles brought just the right amount of
pomposity to Verence, bumbling nicely when wedding night
expectations were mentioned. Bumbling wonderfully too was Chris
Argles as the hapless Bursar whose dottiness and pill-dependency
increased as the tale progressed. Bullish rather than bumbly are the
Morris men tasked to present a play as entertainment for the wedding
- boozy local yokels for whom Pratchett 'borrowed' the tale of the
Rude Mechanicals from Midsummer Night's Dream..."

http://tinyurl.com/kwbuu8

From This Is Surrey:

"The radio mikes were levelled so that not a spoken word was missed,
while the underscore music and sound effects, especially composed
and performed by Mark Taylor, gave the piece an added dimension. One
suspects that there was more than just a passing interest by
director Mike Brown and his cast in Pratchett's writings, as not
only was this their third such production but the characters were so
well drawn as to suggest some serious research by the players...."

http://tinyurl.com/nmqg75

19.2 A REMINDER: WYRD SISTERS IN CHESHAM IN OCTOBER

The Chesham Bois Catholic Players (reg charity 287109) will present
Stephen Briggs' adaptation of Wyrd Sisters in October. A percentage
of profits will be donated to Workaid.

Venue: Little Theatre by the Park, Church Street, Chesham, Bucks HP5
1HU
When: Saturday 10th, Friday 16th and Saturday 17th October 2009
Time: 8pm (doors open at 7.30pm)
Tickets: £12 and £10 (under 16 and over 60s)
Please email cbcp.wsboxoffice@...
Cheques (made payable to CBCP) should be sent with SAE to CBCP Box
Office, 35 Chessmount Rise, Chesham HP5 1RB
Enquiries to producer: 01494 580327.

"Table seating - bring your own drinks, glasses and picnic if you
like! Free coffee and cakes will be served at the interval."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) GAMES NEWS

20.1 DW RPG FTW ZOMG?!

The Portland Examiner loves Discworld RPG:

"Although they didn't spring from an RPG, each inspired RPG's to be
produced decades after their publication... Both Anthony and
Pratchett are master wordsmiths that are almost beyond compare..."

http://tinyurl.com/ng59vf


20.2 RHIANNA PRATCHETT WRITING FOR THE A-LIST

New RPG "Risen", which will be released for PC and Xbox in October,
features some high flyers:

"The companies have assembled an impressive voice cast for the game,
including Lena Headey (Sarah Connor on the Terminator TV show) John
Rhys-Davies (A/K/A Gimli from the Lord of the Rings movies) and
Gollum himself, Andy Serkis! Not only that, but veteran video game
writers Rhianna Pratchett, James Leach and Andrew S. Walsh are on
hand to actually provide the dialog for the A-List actors assembled
for this project..."

http://tinyurl.com/lfo7o8


20.3 ...AND DEFENDING CUTSCENES

An article on games site Destructoid:

"Whilst, personally, I'd rather a game wasn't turned into a
wannabe movie, I believe there's still a place for artfully crafted,
well timed and smartly paced cutscenes. Granted, the games that
manage to do all three are fairly rare..."

"I'm with Pratchett on this one. I don't think cutscenes diminish
the so-called artistic value of the medium. It's just another tool,
something that videogames can do potentially very well, and it
doesn't diminish the game in any way if it borrows elements from
other media to tell its story..."

http://tinyurl.com/lglgg3

Also on Play.tm:

"Cutscenes are still an important tool in our narrative toolbox, and
we shouldn't throw out the hammer just because we keep hitting our
thumb with it. We just have to learn how to wield it a little
better."

http://play.tm/news/26059/don-t-fear-cut-scenes-rhianna-pratchett/

Editor's note: For those of you who -- like me until a few minutes
ago! -- have no idea what a cutscene is, go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutscene

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) DUTCH DISCWORLD CONVENTION IN 2011

2011 is a fair way off, but here's a heads-up for our European
readers:

Hi everybody,

We proudly announce that there will be a discworldcon in the
Netherlands  in 2011. Exact date and location to be confirmed. As
soon as there is an official website I will let you know.

Have fun
Paul van Oven

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 3 -- continued on Part 4 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2009 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 3 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS, AND STUFF

7) REMINDER: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER
8) NATION AUDIOBOOK -- AND NOVEL -- PRAISED
9) LORD VETINARI XXV PIN NOW AVAILABLE
10) MORE MARVELLOUS DISCWORLD FIGURINES
11) BICYCLING FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH
12) PTERRY'S A RECYCLED BESTSELLER
13) BOOK AWARDS 101: THE LEADING LIGHTS
14) THE FINE TRADITION OF BEING A "HACK WRITER"
15) REVIEW: THIEF OF TIME
16) IMAGE OF THE MONTH: XKCD ON DISCWORLD SHELF SPACE
17) DISCWORLD TATTOO WINS CONTEST
18) DEATH OF DISCWORLD MAKES AN IMPRESSION
19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
20) GAMES NEWS
21) DUTCH DISCWORLD CONVENTION IN 2011

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

7) REMINDER: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER

As featured in last month's issue. The release date for Unseen
Academicals is 6th October 2009. For the Amazon pre-ordering link,
go to:

http://tinyurl.com/mqggnu

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

8) PRAISE AND RECOMMENDATIONS FOR NATION


8.1 YALSA's 2009 Amazing Audiobooks for Young Adults includes
Nation:

"Narrator Stephen Briggs' crisp, precise British narration artfully
enhances Terry Pratchett's "survival story focusing on 13-year-old
Mau and British teen Daphne, the sole survivors of a tsunami."

http://tinyurl.com/ktfcpe

Also, from Examiner.com:

"This is nine hours of story on an eight disc set..."

http://tinyurl.com/m8z4bm


8.2 Nation recommended for Canadian summertime readers

In Ottawa's Daily Observer:

"This summer, Kimberley's reading choice, for all ages to enjoy, is
'Nation' by Terry Pratchett. In this novel, the author creates a
whole new beautiful world with original characters that add to the
already interesting story-line. This book will make you laugh,
think, and imagine what it would be like to live in the world of
Terry Pratchett's Nation."

http://www.thedailyobserver.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1691629

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

9) LORD VETINARI XXV PIN NOW AVAILABLE

"As the absolute ruler and self professed despotic dictator, Lord
Vetinari hardly needs supporters, but in a strange way he controls
the City almost as effectively as Carrot wears it..."

In honour of 25 years of Discworld (and maybe the golden anniversary
of Lord Vetinari's rule?), PJSM Prints offers a new 1-inch pin badge
in a limited edition of 200. The Vetinari pin costs £23.99 and is a
handsome confection of red, silver and gold (but sadly, no stygium).

Also, last month's Captain Carrot limited edition of 200 pin badges
is almost entirely sold out now! There are only a few remaining, at
a cost of £21.99.

The Discworld collectible pins are limited to one per household (it
says on the site), and profits from the sale of these pins will be
divided between the Royal British Legion (Jersey) Poppy Appeal and
the Alzheimer's Research Trust.

http://www.pjsmprints.com/pins/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

10) MORE MARVELLOUS DISCWORLD FIGURINES

PJSM Prints now offer five new 30mm cast metal Discworld miniatures:
Ridcully (with crossbow), Casanunda (with sword and, of course,
stepladder), Otto Chriek (with iconograph and salamander), Granny
Weatherwax (dressed for the opera in Maskerade), and Twoflower (with
iconograph and I Love A-M hat). Granny, Otto and Casanunda figurines
are £8.00 each, and Ridcully and Twoflower figurines £7.50 each.
Every figurine comes with a round base for mounting:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/miniatures/index.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

11) BICYCLING FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH

Two Slough (UK) bicyclists, Owen Wilson and James Evans, have
pedalled more than 1026 miles from Land's End to John o' Groats to
raise money for the Alzheimer's Research Trust in honour of their
favourite author, Terry Pratchett:

"The intrepid explorers battled against the elements throughout the
gruelling journey... The epic journey, in which the fighting fit duo
climbed well over 69,000 feet and were fuelled by plenty of bananas
and chocolate, has already raised £1,300..."

http://tinyurl.com/numpxv

Unfortunately, the donations link is incorrectly typed on the page.
To donate:

http://www.justgiving.com/jimowenlejog/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

12) THE LIBRARIAN APPROVES: PTERRY'S A RECYCLED BESTSELLER

Here be a fascinating article in The Guardian about a new kind of
bestseller list: recycled books in the Oxfam charity shops. Oxfam
claim that their recycled bestseller list is the first of its kind,
and Terry Pratchett is ranked fifth on its list of the top ten most
popular sellers.

It's interesting to note that Oxfam don't just sell "junk" books; in
amongst the battered pulp paperbacks and unwanted coffee-table
lifestyle hardcovers are some genuine gems -- for example, a donated
first edition of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings that sold for £800 a
few weeks ago!

http://tinyurl.com/m6xtag

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

13) BOOK AWARDS 101: THE LEADING LIGHTS

A round-up of SOME OF the past year's winners of some YA book
competitions, including the Printz Award, makes for interesting
reading itself:

"Nation does not dissappoint[sic]. While this book is not the comic
fantasy joyfest that he normally writes, Pratchett brings his usual
detailed depictions and odd storylines to life."

http://tinyurl.com/ljerhh

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

14) THE FINE TRADITION OF BEING A "HACK WRITER"

Here be Guardian columnist David Barnett singing the praises of
popular and populist authors down through the ages. Well worth
reading!

"Last month I met and interviewed Terry Pratchett, on the occasion
of him being awarded an honorary doctorate by the University of
Bradford. By way of breaking the ice, I told him that he'd done
good, for a former hack -- a reference to Pratchett's early days as
a local newspaper reporter. 'I'm still a hack,' the Discworld author
insisted, with no small measure of pride, and a pinch of
defiance..."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/aug/13/hack-writers

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

15) REVIEW: THIEF OF TIME

In The Examiner:
"He has been compared to Douglas Adams countless times. Many say he
is if fact the Douglas Adams of fantasy fiction, I disagree. Terry's
humor is more defined, and his plot much better in terms of story...
One of the best thing about Terry is just how realized his world is.
Every strange nuance, no matter how strange, just fits..."

http://tinyurl.com/mpjagh

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

16) IMAGE OF THE MONTH: XKCD ON DISCWORLD SHELF SPACE

...needs no explanation!

http://xkcd.com/625/

Don't forget to run your Hex mouse over the image: "hidden text" is
a well-known feature of XKCD.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) TATTOO-ONNA-ARM CHARMS THE JUDGES

A British tattoo artist has won an award for the Discworld collage
tattoo he inked on a client's arm. Her *entire* arm:

"'It's awesome and I love it," she said "It's a tribute to Terry
Pratchett. We had a few of the books and went trawling through them.
Some of the characters were the death chain, death himself, death's
grand daughter, Quoth, Rincewind the inept wizard and the god that
turned into a tortoise as nobody believed in him..."

http://tinyurl.com/kkzatc

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) DEATH COMES TO US ALL...

...even to op-ed columnists in far-flung newspapers:

"DEATH - Terry Pratchett's sombre character, dressed in robes and
carrying his all-encompassing scythe awaits us all, and not just
those in the Discworld either. His, for we are assured by his
chronicler that he is very much a male, is a public service of
sorts, as DEATH collects us all, eventually, and no manner of flight
can delay or prevent this. Baring [sic] this in mind, there are, at
the very least, two meanings to that oft-misunderstood word,
'flight'..."

As it turns out, this is not a timely piece referencing the current
UK assisted-dying debate, but rather a somewhat incoherent attempt
to draw parallels between flying and war, torture and other fatal
punishments inflicted by governments and civilian thugs throughout
human history. Make of it what you will; at least our favourite
Death gets a mention...

http://tinyurl.com/mgftv4

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) PLAYS NEWS

19.1 LORDS AND LADIES IN COULSDON -- TWO REVIEWS

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon's recent outdoor production of Lords and
Ladies was a resounding success. Here be two different reviews, both
long and both approving...

From the Croydon Advertiser:

"Tanya Allison and Penny Payne, as Granny and Nanny respectively,
delivered their intrigue with clarity and cunning with Emma Griffin
as the delightful Magrat turning from demure bride into a virago to
defend her groom. Luke Argles brought just the right amount of
pomposity to Verence, bumbling nicely when wedding night
expectations were mentioned. Bumbling wonderfully too was Chris
Argles as the hapless Bursar whose dottiness and pill-dependency
increased as the tale progressed. Bullish rather than bumbly are the
Morris men tasked to present a play as entertainment for the wedding
- boozy local yokels for whom Pratchett 'borrowed' the tale of the
Rude Mechanicals from Midsummer Night's Dream..."

http://tinyurl.com/kwbuu8

From This Is Surrey:

"The radio mikes were levelled so that not a spoken word was missed,
while the underscore music and sound effects, especially composed
and performed by Mark Taylor, gave the piece an added dimension. One
suspects that there was more than just a passing interest by
director Mike Brown and his cast in Pratchett's writings, as not
only was this their third such production but the characters were so
well drawn as to suggest some serious research by the players...."

http://tinyurl.com/nmqg75

19.2 A REMINDER: WYRD SISTERS IN CHESHAM IN OCTOBER

The Chesham Bois Catholic Players (reg charity 287109) will present
Stephen Briggs' adaptation of Wyrd Sisters in October. A percentage
of profits will be donated to Workaid.

Venue: Little Theatre by the Park, Church Street, Chesham, Bucks HP5
1HU
When: Saturday 10th, Friday 16th and Saturday 17th October 2009
Time: 8pm (doors open at 7.30pm)
Tickets: £12 and £10 (under 16 and over 60s)
Please email cbcp.wsboxoffice@...
Cheques (made payable to CBCP) should be sent with SAE to CBCP Box
Office, 35 Chessmount Rise, Chesham HP5 1RB
Enquiries to producer: 01494 580327.

"Table seating - bring your own drinks, glasses and picnic if you
like! Free coffee and cakes will be served at the interval."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) GAMES NEWS

20.1 DW RPG FTW ZOMG?!

The Portland Examiner loves Discworld RPG:

"Although they didn't spring from an RPG, each inspired RPG's to be
produced decades after their publication... Both Anthony and
Pratchett are master wordsmiths that are almost beyond compare..."

http://tinyurl.com/ng59vf


20.2 RHIANNA PRATCHETT WRITING FOR THE A-LIST

New RPG "Risen", which will be released for PC and Xbox in October,
features some high flyers:

"The companies have assembled an impressive voice cast for the game,
including Lena Headey (Sarah Connor on the Terminator TV show) John
Rhys-Davies (A/K/A Gimli from the Lord of the Rings movies) and
Gollum himself, Andy Serkis! Not only that, but veteran video game
writers Rhianna Pratchett, James Leach and Andrew S. Walsh are on
hand to actually provide the dialog for the A-List actors assembled
for this project..."

http://tinyurl.com/lfo7o8


20.3 ...AND DEFENDING CUTSCENES

An article on games site Destructoid:

"Whilst, personally, I'd rather a game wasn't turned into a
wannabe movie, I believe there's still a place for artfully crafted,
well timed and smartly paced cutscenes. Granted, the games that
manage to do all three are fairly rare..."

"I'm with Pratchett on this one. I don't think cutscenes diminish
the so-called artistic value of the medium. It's just another tool,
something that videogames can do potentially very well, and it
doesn't diminish the game in any way if it borrows elements from
other media to tell its story..."

http://tinyurl.com/lglgg3

Also on Play.tm:

"Cutscenes are still an important tool in our narrative toolbox, and
we shouldn't throw out the hammer just because we keep hitting our
thumb with it. We just have to learn how to wield it a little
better."

http://play.tm/news/26059/don-t-fear-cut-scenes-rhianna-pratchett/

Editor's note: For those of you who -- like me until a few minutes
ago! -- have no idea what a cutscene is, go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutscene

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) DUTCH DISCWORLD CONVENTION IN 2011

2011 is a fair way off, but here's a heads-up for our European
readers:

Hi everybody,

We proudly announce that there will be a discworldcon in the
Netherlands  in 2011. Exact date and location to be confirmed. As
soon as there is an official website I will let you know.

Have fun
Paul van Oven

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End of Part 3 -- continued on Part 4 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2009 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued)
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====Part 5 -- ...AND THE REST

23) LATE BREAKING BITS
24) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

23) ODDMENTS

23.1 DEATH, THE EDUCATOR?

Kansas blogger Paul Decelles enthusiastically references (and
quotes) Hogfather when discussing chemistry sets and other properly
risky childhood toys:

"Now if you are going to give your kids Death's version of dangerous
toys, you as a parent have to take responsibility here..."

http://tinyurl.com/mpztnu


23.2 UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AUCTION UPDATE

Remember, there are three more days left to bid for a signed and
dedicated bound proof of Unseen Academicals! Current bid is £410.00

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200375994424


23.3 THE OTHER SORT OF LIBRARIAN INTERVIEWS THE MASTER

A very good interview with Pterry in the School Library Journal,
which claims to be the "world's largest reviewer of books,
multimedia and technology for children and teens", in which he
answers questions about -- among other things -- the usefulness of
libraries:

"Children as a whole are more interesting as main characters
because, by definition, there is lot that they don't know, and at
the beginning of the book there is a lot that the reader does not
know and so they can learn together..."

http://tinyurl.com/m39u56

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

24) AND IT'S GOODNIGHT FROM US

As always, a big thank-you to the Newshound Gang and to all the
readers who sent in tips and links. Here's hoping that all our USA
readers enjoy their Labor Day weekend, and that all our UK readers
enjoy their August Bank Holiday weekend and don't get rained on. And
most of all, here's hoping that NADWcon runs smoothly in sunny
Arizona and puts American Discworld conventions permanently on the
map! Take care, and we'll see you next month...

-- Annie Mac

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2009 -- PART 4 OF 5 (continued)
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====Part 4 -- HOROSCOPE

22) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

22) THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

by Fernando Magnifico

Buongiorno and hello, it is I, Fernando! The Lady Asterisk is
unavailable due to a cabbage accident, but do not fear, my friends,
for Fernando shall be your astrologer today!

My friends, this month is the spring-time on the Disc, and on half
of Roundworld too. Fernando does not understand how the Roundworld
can be the spring in some places and the autumn in others, it sounds
loco to Fernando, but who is he to tell the Roundworld people how to
make their calendar? But wherever you are, spring or autumn,
Fernando knows that at this time of the year the young persons --
and some of the not-so-young persons -- like to think of the loving.
As the Ankh-Morpork childrens sing, "Boy and Girl sitting in a tree,
k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the
baby in the baby carriage." Fernando knows that it is not always
true that marriage comes before the bambinos, like his little niece
Natalia who was flower-girl at her own parents' wedding. (It was so
beautiful that Fernando is not ashamed to admit he cried, for
Fernando is the molto sensitivo man in all the right places.) So
this month Fernando shall ask the stars for the advice about the
bambinos and the pregnancy -- do not be shocked my friends, for this
is the Century of the Anchovy and Fernando is the man of the world,
he can use the P-word!

Ciao bella!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Adamant Hedgehog  21 Mar - 20 Apr

Your baby advice is: Avoiding myths

The stars tell Fernando that you should beware of the baby-myths,
the things which everybody tells you but are not so. Listen very
carefully to Fernando, for he has consulted the stars and shall set
you straight. If you are with child, and you eat the rabbit or hare
stew, you do not need to fear that the bambino will be born with a
harelip, for this is the myth. Nor do you need fear the elves will
steal your baby, at least not until it is old enough to go potty on
its own. Fernando knows that the elves do not care to deal with the
very small bambinos and the changing of the nappies. Also, no matter
what they say in the Shades, the stars say that drinking a pint of
gin every day during pregnancy will *not* protect the baby from
weasels. Trust Fernando on this, for he knows the stars are correct!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Half-Eaten Sandwich  21 Apr - 21 May

Your baby advice is: Cravings

Munchers, while you are with child, you may find that you have the
cravings for the molto strange foods, like the pickled pork feets
with custard, or cabbage and chocolate. Do not be afeared, my
friends, for the stars say this is natural. Your body knows when it
needs the foods to make the bambino, and you should listen to the
wisdom of your body, except perhaps if it is having the craving for
a pint of grappa. You might even be like Fernando's Auntie Maria,
who when she was carrying the bambinos would eat banana-and-squishi
pizza with toffee sauce every day. Do not worry my friends, it is
not as bad as it sounds!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Herne the Hunted  22 May - 21 Jun

Your baby advice is: How to get pregnant

Fernando presumes that you already understand the mechanics of where
the bambinos come from, as they say. (The stork and the cabbage
patch are only the stories for small childrens, but if there are the
any signorinas who still have the confusion, Fernando is happy to
give you the private lessons.) But even if you understand the
basics, sometimes the baby just will not be made. But do not be
afeared, for listen to the advice of the stars and you will surely
be with child soon:

Both you and the papa should be relaxed, for the stress is not good
for the man's seed, or the signorina. Fernando knows, often you will
be unable to make the bambino until you decide to give up trying!
Also, the stars say to eat the plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.
Lastly, come close my friends while Fernando whispers to you...
sometimes the only way to make the bambino is to take in a boarder,
if you know what I mean, like Fernando's grandpappa Franco. At age
87 he married the young signorina, and on the wedding day the priest
took Grandpappa aside and quietly said, if he wanted to have the
bambinos, he should take in a boarder. This Grandpappa did, and sure
enough, in just a few months Grandmamma *and* the boarder were both
pregnant.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Wizard's Staff and Knob  22 Jun - 22 Jul

Your baby advice is: How to tell what sex the baby will be

The stars say that there is only the three certain ways to tell
whether you have the boy bambino or the girl bambino, and listen
very carefully while Fernando tells you what they are. The first is
to wait for the bambino to be born. The second is to pay the wizards
to use the Omniscope to look inside, without hurting the mama or
bambino, but of course the hardest part is finding the wizard who is
willing to help without getting embarrassed and flustered. The third
way cannot fail, so listen close while Fernando explains. You must
take the two pieces of silk thread -- it must be silk, not cotton or
flax -- one dyed blue and one dyed pink. You must lie down, with
your head pointing towards the hub and your legs together, this is
the most important, with your toes pointing in opposite directions,
and place the threads crossing on your belly. Then you must wait as
long as it takes until the ladybird beetle flies in and touches the
thread. If it lands on the blue thread, the bambino is guaranteed to
be the boy, and if the pink, a girl, and if it lands where they
touch, they you will have the twins, one boy and one girl. Trust
Fernando on this, this cannot fail! Unless the weather is too cold,
or too hot, or the ladybird never arrives, or there is cheese
somewhere nearby. But otherwise, it is correct 110% of the time with
molto certainty!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Bilious, God of Hangovers  23 Jul - 23 Aug

Your baby advice is: Morning sickness

Bilians, being with child is the most unfortunate time for you, for
the stars say that you will suffer badly from the morning sickness,
and perhaps the afternoon and evening sickness too. At least you, as
the natural born Bilian, will be used to the nausea and the
unability to bear certain foods and smells. The stars say that this
is the natural part of life, that it is to protect the growing
bambino from the strong foods which may be bad for the growing
organs. Fernando's Auntie Maria says that boiled water and weak
ginger tea may help, and you can survive on dry toast and boiled
risotto for a long time, but what would she know? Twelve children,
never sick a single day, and she ate salt pork with caramel and
deep-fried lemons. Fernando can only suggest you avoid the strong
foods and nasty smells, like boiled cabbage, Quirmian perfumes, and
Foul Ole Ron.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Celestial Parsnip  24 Aug - 23 Sept

Your baby advice is: Herrydeterry

Herrydeterry is the knowledge of inheritance. Fernando knows that
the bambino usually inherits the good humour and hair colour from
the mamma, and the name and any titles from the pappa, so it is very
important to know who the parents are. For the mamma, this is
usually not the problem (unless you are having the home birth in
Empirical Crescent, in which case you might end up like Mrs Janet
Moon-Crystal-Vibrations Lumpp, who gave birth to the kettle and the
baby was found three hours later on the roof of the neighbour's
house). Fernando does not judge, but he is the man of the world and
knows that sometimes it is harder to have the knowing of who the
pappa is, particularly if you have been touched by the goddess
Astoria twice on the same night, as they say. Listen very closely,
my friends, for the stars have the advice for a harmonious family:
when you have the bambino handed to you, look up at your husband and
say these words: "Look, caro mio, doesn't he have your eyes!".

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars  24 Sept - 23 Oct

Your baby advice is: Baby safety

My Boring'un friends, Fernando knows you are concerned about the
safety of your bambino. It is true that there is so much that can go
wrong: sharp pins in the nappies, scalding milk (espeziale
unfortunate if you are doing the breast feeding, as happened to
Fernando's cousin Adrianna, and she still won't say how it
happened), accidents with out-of-control prams, the small lapdogs
and siblings who get jealous, and self-inflicted concussion from the
rattle. But do not be afeared my friends, for Fernando has consulted
the stars, and they say the bambinos are tougher than they look.
After all, you survived childhood, did you not?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Androgyna Majestis  24 Oct - 22 Nov

Your baby advice is: Baby clothes

The stars have the knowing of many things, and in this matter what
the stars say is that dressing the bambino is very important.
Firstly, there is the importance of keeping the bambino not too
cold, and not too hot. It is very important that the clothes
breathe, to avoid the bambino rashes. But it is also important that
the clothes do not leak, especially from the nappy. Lastly, but not
leastly, Fernando knows that it is never too early to start dressing
with the style and panache like Fernando. Baby blue and pastel pinks
are for the ordinary bambinos -- for *your* bambino, you will want
something molto special, yes? Listen very carefully to Fernando as
he says the three little words that will make your bambino the
fashion leader like Fernando: "leopard skin prints".

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Spoons, a.k.a. the Greater and Lesser Spoons, 23 Nov - 21 Dec

Your baby advice is: Socialising with the baby

When you have the newborn bambino, it can be molto difficile to do
the socialising, visit friends, or get out of the house for a while.
The stars say that it is important for your health, and the growth
of the bambino, to have the social contact with family and friends,
so Fernando has the good advice for you. Firstly, you should not
take the bambino to the opera, because the crying will frighten the
chorus and annoy the bellissima prima diva Christine, who is almost
as magnificent as Fernando himself. However, the circus is
acceptable, because the small childrens always love the clowns!
Another good place to take the bambino is the mothers' club, where
you can swap recipes for baby mash and complain about your husbands.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Hoki the Jokester  22 Dec - 20 Jan

Your baby advice is: Childhood diseases

Fernando knows that the small childrens often get sick. It is
famously said that goats get all the diseases that sheep will get,
plus all the diseases coos will get, plus a whole lot of their very
own diseases. Bambinos are like the goats, and like goats, there are
few diseases that can't be cured with a tablespoon of cod-liver oil
every day, or turpentine. And for the rest, the stars suggest a
tablespoon of turpentine will do the trick. Fernando's Auntie Maria
swears by the tincture of poppies for stomach ache, toothache,
headache, upset digestion, constipation, diarrhoea, ear-ache, itchy
scalp, cuts, abrasions, sore feet, runny nose, blocked nose, chicken
pox, duck pox, weasels, purple spots, mumps, bumps, lumps and
pimples. Fernando has to say her children do seem very happy all the
time, when they're not asleep in the corner, so it must be working.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Rather Large Gazunda  21 Jan - 18 Feb

Your baby advice is: Baby food

Fernando knows that it takes the bambino a while before it is ready
to eat foods like the pepperino salami or casu marzu. The poor
things do not have the digestion or teeth for it, much like
Fernando's grandmamma Angelina. If you offer grandmamma Angelina the
wrong sort of food, she will let you know in the strongest of terms
(and will probably still be complaining about you three weeks
later), but the bambino cannot do this except by spitting it out and
crying. Which sometimes they do for fun even when they like the
food. (Fernando knows that the simple minds have the simple
pleasures. Like his grandmamma Angelina.)

The stars say it is best to start the bambinos on the very bland,
mild food, suitable for the accountant with bad digestion, or
perhaps the over-strung uncle you have who considers the grated
cheese to be too spicy for his tastes. If you are tempted to throw
the chilli in the bambino's vegetable mash, or the cloves in the
mashed apple, the stars say No! Fernando knows that there is plenty
of time to introduce the good food to the little one once he has his
own teeth, and more important, once he can go potty on his own. If
you have ever had to wash the nappies after the bambino ate the
chilli con carne, you too will appreciate the wisdom of this!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Lesser Umbrage   19 Feb - 20 Mar

Your baby advice is: Naming the baby

Sadly, the name of the bambino is often the cause of the arguments
and fights in the families. For this reason, Fernando understands
that some families in Ankh-Morpork name all their boy childrens
after the grandpappa, and all their girl childrens "Elizabeth",
which explains why Fernando once met a family where the boys were
Maximus William the Third, Medius William the Third, and Minimus
William the Third. And the girls were Liz, Bess, Bessie, Betty,
Beth, Libby, Lillibet, and Elsie. Do not be like them, my friends,
for now Fernando has consulted the stars for the advice on naming
the bambinos! Giving the bambino the grandpappa's name as the middle
name will often avoid the family arguments while still allowing you
to give the boy a personal name. For the girl childrens, Chlamydia
is a very popular name, or you can use the traditional names while
showing your creative side with the special spellings, like Magrat,
Diyannn, or  Mahria, and for the boys, Niquoless, Maththue, or
Richhed.

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End of Part 4, continued on part 5 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
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Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2009 -- PART 2 OF 5 (continued)
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====Part 2 -- DEATH AND DIGNITY, CONTINUED, AND NEWS

5) PRATCHETT ON DEATH AND DIGNITY, CONTINUED...
6) ...AND INTERVIEWED AT THE DARWIN FESTIVAL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

5) PTERRY ON DEATH, CONTINUED

But, of course, important points are being made in this debate.
Currently, people say they are worried about the possibility of old
people being 'urged' by greedy relatives into taking an early death.

If we cannot come up with a means of identifying this, I would be
very surprised.

In any case, in my experience it is pretty impossible to get an
elderly person to do something they do not wish to do. They tend to
know their own mind like the back of their hand, and quite probably
would object to this being questioned.

There needs to be, for the safety of all concerned, some kind of
gentle tribunal, to make certain that requests for assisted death
are bona fide and not perhaps due to gentle persuasion.

It is the sort of thing, in my opinion, coroners could handle well.
All the ones I have met have been former lawyers with much
experience of the world and of the ways of human nature, people with
wisdom, in fact, and that means middle-aged at the very least, and
old enough to have some grasp of the world's realities.

I have no way of knowing whether any of them would wish to be
involved; this is breaking new ground and we won't know unless we
try.

In my early journalistic years, I watched such men deal with the
deaths of thalidomide babies and the results of terrible accidents
with calm and compassion. If their successors are as caring in their
deliberations, I feel this may go some way to meeting the objections
that people have.

And I would suggest, too, that Social Services be kept well away
from any such arrangement. I don't think they would have much to
offer.

In this country we have rather lost faith in the wisdom of ordinary
people, among whom my father was a shining example. And it is
ordinary people, ultimately, who must make such decisions.

There are those who will object that the care industry can cope.
Even if we accept that they are coping now, which most of us will
take on trust, in the coming decades they certainly will not be able
to without a major reordering of our society.

The numbers tell us this. We already have a situation where elderly
people are being cared for at home by people who themselves are of
pensionable age. The healthcare system will become messy, and the
NHS will struggle to cope.

There are care homes, of course, and they are subject to inspection,
and we must take it on trust that the inspection system has teeth,
but would you know how to choose one? Would you know what questions
to ask?

Would you know, if you suffer from Alzheimer's disease or are
representing someone who is, whether the place you would be choosing
resorts to 'peg feeding'?

Peg feeding is the forcible feeding of patients who refuse food. I
found out about this only recently, and I'm afraid it has entirely
coloured my views.

These are, after all, innocent people who are on the road to death,
and yet someone thinks it is right to subject them to this degrading
and painful business.

The Alzheimer's Society says peg feeding is 'not best practice', a
rather diplomatic statement.

People there that I trust tell me the main problem with the
treatment of acute Alzheimer's cases is not a lack of care and
goodwill as such, but insufficient numbers of people who are skilled
in the special needs of the terminally-ill Alzheimer's patient.

I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the
elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it.

As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of 'life
at any cost'. Apparently there is already such a thing as an
official 'quality of life index': I don't know whether the fact that
we have one frightens me more than the possibility that we don't.

In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26
years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing
particularly new about this -- death has featured in art and
literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a
fascination with the Grim Reaper.

But the Death of the Discworld is a little more unusual. He has
become popular - after all, as he patiently explains, it is not he
who kills. Guns and knives and starvation kill; Death turns up
afterwards, to reassure the puzzled arrivals as they begin their
journey.

He is kind; after all, he is an angel. And he is fascinated with us,
in the way in which we make our little lives so complicated, and our
strivings. So am I.

Within a year or two, I started to get letters about Death. They
came from people in hospices, and from their relatives and from
bereaved individuals, and from young children in leukaemia wards,
and the parents of boys who had crashed their motorbikes.

I recall one letter where the writer said the books were of great
help to his mother when she was in a hospice. Frequently, the
bereaved asked to be allowed to quote some part of the Discworld
books in a memorial service.

They all tried to say, in some way, 'thank you', and until I got
used to it, the arrival of one of these letters would move me
sufficiently to give up writing for the day.

The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through
massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant
disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to
take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and
I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style.

I would like to think my refusal to go into care towards the end of
my life might free up the resources for people such as him.

Let me make this very clear: I do not believe there is any such
thing as a 'duty to die'; we should treasure great age as the
tangible presence of the past, and honour it as such.

I know that last September Baroness Warnock was quoted, or possibly
misquoted, as saying the very elderly sick had a 'duty to die', and
I have seen people profess to fear that the existence of a
formalised approach to assisted dying could lead to it somehow
becoming part of national health policy.

I very much doubt this could be the case. We are a democracy and no
democratic government is going to get anywhere with a policy of
compulsory or even recommended euthanasia. If we were ever to end up
with such a government, we would be in so much trouble that the
problem would become the least of our worries.

But neither do I believe in a duty to suffer the worst ravages of
terminal illness.

As an author, I've always tended to be known only to a circle of
people -- quite a large one, I must admit -- who read books. I was
not prepared for what happened after I 'came out' about having
Alzheimer's in December 2007, and appeared on television.

People would stop me in the street to tell me their mother had it,
or their father had it. Sometimes, it's both parents, and I look
into their eyes and I see a flash of fear.

In London the other day, a beefy man grabbed my arm, smiled at me
and said, 'Thanks a lot for what you're doing, my mum died from it,'
and disappeared into the crowd.

And, of course, there have been the vast numbers of letters and
emails, some of which, I'm ashamed to say, will perhaps never be
answered.

People do fear, and not because fear is whipped up, but because
they've recalled an unpleasant death in their family history.

Sometimes I find myself involved in strange conversations, because I
am an amiable-looking person who people think they know and,
importantly, I am not an authority figure -- quite the reverse.

I have met Alzheimer's sufferers who are hoping that another illness
takes them away first. Little old ladies confide in me, saying:
'I've been saving up my pills for the end, dear.'

What they are doing, in fact, is buying themselves a feeling of
control. I have met retired nurses who have made their own
provisions for the future with rather more knowledgeable
deliberation.

From personal experience, I believe the recent poll reflects the
views of the people in this country. They don't dread death; it's
what happens beforehand that worries them.

Life is easy and cheap to make. But the things we add to it, such as
pride, self-respect and human dignity, are worthy of preservation,
too, and these can be lost in a fetish for life at any cost.

I believe that if the burden gets too great, those who wish to
should be allowed to be shown the door.

In my case, in the fullness of time, I hope it will be the one to
the garden under an English sky. Or, if wet, the library.


Note: The complete text of the letter can be found here under the
article itself:

"Sir Terry says that 'right-to-die' campaigners trying to change the
law on suicide are acting with 'furious sanity'. He calls for the
creation of special tribunals run by coroners to establish that
terminally ill patients who request assisted deaths are acting
voluntarily... Neil Hunt, chief executive of the Alzheimer's
Society, said more people should consider registering a living will
or 'Lasting Power of Attorney'. He said: 'Terry, like many of us,
wants dignity at the end of his life. For people with dementia this
can be made possible by good quality end-of-life care.'..."

http://tinyurl.com/n7spfj


Also, a selection of other reports:

Respected science fiction author Cory Doctorow lauds Pterry's letter
and decision on BoingBoing, a favoured website in the IT geek
community:

"Who could say that is bad? Where is the evil here? ... (Note: it
takes something damned important to get me to link to the vile Daily
Mail. This qualifies.)"

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/08/07/terry-pratchett-on-t.html


Columnist Tony Parsons in the Daily Mirror:

"Anyone who has watched someone they love die of a terminal disease
will likely agree with Terry. At the end many lives narrow down to
morphine, pain, humiliation, sadness and suffering..."

http://tinyurl.com/npdp3a


The Telegraph:
"Sir Terry Pratchett, the author and Alzheimer's sufferer, has
suggested that tribunals of coroners should be set up to decide if
terminally ill people can..." [finish quotation]

http://tinyurl.com/nghth7

...and a reasonably open-minded take on this from some Roundworld
Omnians:

"Pratchett said he did not believe legal assisted suicide would lead
to involuntary euthanasia of helpless patients..."

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2009/aug/09081112.html


Cheltenham First Post:

"A recent Populus poll showed that more than three-quarters of
respondents were in favour of the right to suicide for the
terminally ill..."

http://tinyurl.com/l2eugx

This is Local London:

"Speaking on Radio Five Live on Monday morning, Sir Terry, who was
diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2007, said he hopes that one
day someone will help him to die. The author told host Nicky
Campbell: 'I know my own mind and all I'm asking is to have power of
attorney over my older self. The people who are going for early
deaths seem to be frighteningly sane.'..."

http://tinyurl.com/nab43w


Salisbury Journal:

"Sir Terry, best known for his Discworld fantasy books, asked
society to establish whether it should have a policy of life at any
cost..."

http://tinyurl.com/m2wso7

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

6) PTERRY AT THE DARWIN FESTIVAL

An audio interview with Pterry by Dr Chris Smith at last month's
Darwin Festival:

"I don't think he cherished the thought of atheism or what he was
possibly doing to people's belief, and I think that's fairly clear
in some of his writing..."

http://tinyurl.com/njub4s

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
AUGUST 2009 (Volume 12, Issue 8)
*********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the worldwide
Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North
American Discworld Society and other continental groups. Are you a
member? Yes, if you sent in your name, country and e-mail address.
Are there any dues? No! As a member of the Klatchian Foreign Legion,
you'd only forget them...
*********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
Editor Emeritus (retd): Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake, Steven D'Aprano
Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: Tiff
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
time)
Copyright 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDEX:

====Part 1 -- ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS

1) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
3) AUCTION OF BOUND UNSEEN ACADEMICALS PROOF
4) PTERRY IN HIS OWN WORDS: DEATH AND DIGNITY

====Part 2 -- DEATH AND DIGNITY (CONTINUED), AND NEWS

5) PRATCHETT ON DEATH AND DIGNITY, CONTINUED
6) PTERRY INTERVIEWED AT THE DARWIN FESTIVAL

====Part 3 -- MORE NEWS, ODDS AND SODS, AND STUFF

7)  REMINDER: UNSEEN ACADEMICALS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER
8)  NATION AUDIOBOOK -- AND NOVEL -- PRAISED
9)  LORD VETINARI XXV PIN NOW AVAILABLE
10) MORE MARVELLOUS DISCWORLD FIGURINES
11) BICYCLING FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH
12) PTERRY'S A RECYCLED BESTSELLER
13) BOOK AWARDS 101: SOME LEADING LIGHTS
14) THE FINE TRADITION OF BEING A "HACK WRITER"
15) REVIEW: THIEF OF TIME
16) IMAGE OF THE MONTH
17) DISCWORLD INK'S A WINNER
18) ...AND DEATH IS A BENCHMARK
19) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
20) GAMES NEWS
21) DUTCH DISCWORLD CONVENTION IN 2011

====Part 4 -- HOROSCOPE

22) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

====Part 5 -- ...AND THE REST

23) LATE BREAKING BITS
24) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1) QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"Let me make this very clear: I do not believe there is any such
thing as a 'duty to die'; we should treasure great age as the
tangible presence of the past, and honour it as such."

-- Pterry in the Daily Mail, August 2009

"Life is easy and cheap to make. But the things we add to it, such
as pride, self-respect and human dignity, are worthy of
preservation, too, and these can be lost in a fetish for life at any
cost."

-- ibid.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

2) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

This is a month of exciting times...even interesting times, one
might say. As I type, a convocation of longtime Pratchett fans are
packing to gather in an English field and a cadre of harassed,
overworked NADWcon committee members are putting the final touches
on the schedule for the very first official American Discworld
convention. Not to mention The Author himself, who's up to his
beard** in fighting for the right to die with dignity, preparing to
attend NADWcon as Guest of Hono(u)r, getting ready for the onslaught
of new interviews when Unseen Academicals comes out in a few weeks'
time, and oh yes, presumably working on the next book...

O readers, please spare a hopeful thought for Joe Schaumburger,
founder and former editor-in-chief of WOSSNAME, who is currently
battling to recover from yet another severe heart attack. If you'd
like to send him your well-wishes, his email address is still the
same: jschaum111@...

Right, on with the show!

-- Annie Mac, Editor


** And a very impressive beard it is too, these days...

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

3) FOR THE FAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING...

PJSM Prints are currently auctioning a "rare UK bound proof" of
Unseen Academicals. The proof, which is of the UK version, is one of
only 120 copies worldwide, and the winning bidder will have their
prize signed *and* dedicated by the Author himself.

For all the old jokes about unsigned Pratchetts having the greater
value, this is as special as a special thing because due to health
reasons Sir Pterry can no longer offer dedicated signings even at
his ever rarer signing sessions.

To view the auction, go to:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200375994424

To view the original page, which includes a lovely photo of the
Author displaying the Unseen Academicals proof, go to:

http://www.pjsmprints.com/news/


[Editor's note: The PJSM Prints page also claims that what's being
auctioned is a "bound prood". A mere slip of the keypad, or is this
something to do with the secret of slood?]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

4) THOUGHTS ABOUT DEATH, FROM A MAN WHO KNOWS HIM WELL

A long and thought-provoking letter, as published recently in the
Daily Mail under the headline "Terry Pratchett's deeply personal
plea":

We are being stupid. We have been so successful in the past century
at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten
how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby
boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still. At
least, that is what I thought until last week.

Now, however, I live in hope -- hope that before the disease in my
brain finally wipes it clean, I can jump before I am pushed and drag
my evil Nemesis to its doom, like Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty
locked in combat as they go over the waterfall.

In any case, such thinking bestows a wonderful feeling of power; the
enemy might win but it won't triumph.

Last week a poll revealed that more than three-quarters of people in
Britain approve of assisted suicide for the terminally ill.

On Thursday, the Law Lords delivered the landmark judgment in a case
brought by multiple sclerosis sufferer Debbie Purdy, who feared her
husband would be prosecuted if he accompanied her to die abroad.

She wanted the law on assisted dying to be clarified and the Law
Lords have now ordered the Director of Public Prosecutions to draw
up policy spelling out when prosecutions would and would not be
pursued.

It looks as though the baby boomers have spoken and some of them, at
least, hope they die before they get old -- well, too old. Some have
seen what happened to their parents or grandparents, and they don't
like it. Every day I remember my own father's death. The nurses were
kind, but there was something very wrong about it.

The poll result arrived at about the same time as the Royal College
of Nursing announced that it was ending its opposition to assisted
dying. Other signs indicate that the medical profession as a whole
is at least prepared to face the issue.

I hate the term 'assisted suicide'. I have witnessed the aftermath
of two suicides, and as a journalist I attended far too many
coroners' inquests, where I was amazed and appalled at the many ways
that desperate people find to end their lives.

Suicide is fear, shame, despair and grief. It is madness.

Those brave souls lately seeking death abroad seem to me, on the
other hand, to be gifted with a furious sanity. They have seen their
future, and they don't want to be part of it.

But for me, the scandal has not been solely that innocent people
have had the threat of murder hanging over their heads for
committing a clear act of mercy. It is that people are having to go
to another country to die; it should be possible to die with benign
assistance here.

You do not have to read much social history, or move in medical
circles, to reach the conclusion that the profession has long seen
it as part of its remit to help the dying die more comfortably.

Victorians expected to die at home, undoubtedly assisted by the
medical profession.

In those days there was no such thing as drug control -- just as
there was no gun control. Laudanum and opiates were widespread and
everyone knew you could get your hands on them. Sherlock Holmes was
one of them!

As a young journalist I once listened in awe as a 90-year-old former
nurse told me how she helped a dying cancer patient into the great
beyond with the help of a pillow.

In the absence of any better medication in that time and place, and
with his wife in hysterics at the pain he was forced to endure,
death was going to be a friend; it was life, life gone wild, that
was killing him.

'We called it "pointing them to Heaven",' she told me.

Decades later, I mentioned this to another, younger nurse, who gave
me a blank look, and then said: 'We used to call it "showing them
the way".'

Then she walked off quickly, aware that she had left a hostage to
fortune.

I have been told that doctors do not like patients to worry that,
theoretically, their GP has the expertise to kill them. Really?

I suspect that even my dentist has the means to kill me. It does not
worry me in the slightest, and I imagine that, like many other
people, I would be very happy for the medical profession to help me
over the step.

I have written a living will to that effect, and indeed this article
in The Mail on Sunday will be evidence of my determination in this
matter. I cannot make the laws but you have no idea how much I hope
those in a position to do so will listen.

In the course of the past few years, I have met some delightful
people who say they have a passion for caring and I have no reason
whatsoever to doubt them. Can they accept, however, that there are
some people who have a burning passion not to need to be cared for?

It appears to be an item of faith with many people I have spoken to
that both doctors and nurses, at least in hospital, still have
'things they can do' when the patient is in extremis.

I certainly hope this is true, but I wish we could blow away the
clouds obscuring the issue and embrace the idea of ending, at their
request, the life of a terminally ill person at a time and, if
possible, a place of their choosing.

I write this as someone who has, regrettably, become famous for
having Alzheimer's. Although being famous is all the rage these
days, it's fame I could do without.

I know enough to realise there will not be a cure within my lifetime
and I know the later stages of the disease can be very unpleasant.
Indeed, it's the most feared disease among the over-65s.

Naturally, I turn my attention to the future. There used to be a
term known as 'mercy killing'. I cannot believe it ever had any
force in law but it did, and still does, persist in the public
consciousness, and in general the public consciousness gets it
right.

We would not walk away from a man being attacked by a monster, and
if we couldn't get the ravening beast off him we might well conclude
that some instant means of less painful death would be preferable
before the monster ate him alive.

And certainly we wouldn't tuck it up in bed with him and try to
carry on the fight from there, which is a pretty good metaphor for
what we do now, particularly with 'old-timers' disease.

(My speech-to-text programme persists in transcribing Alzheimer's as
'old-timers'. In fact, I've heard many people absent-mindedly doing
the same thing, and as a writer, I cannot help wondering if the
perception of the disease might be a little kinder without that
sharp, Germanic intonation.)

My father was a man well tuned to the public consciousness. The day
before he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he told me: 'If you
ever see me in a hospital bed with tubes and pipes all over me, then
tell them to turn me off.'

There was no chance of that a year later, when medicine's defences
had been used up and he was becoming a battleground between the
cancer and the morphine.

I have no idea what might have been going through his head, but why
did we have to go through with this? He had been told he had a year
to live, the year was up, and he was a practical man; he knew why he
had been taken to the hospice.

Why could we not have had the Victorian finale, perhaps just a week
or so earlier, with time for words of love and good advice, and
tears just before the end?

It would have made something human and understandable out of what
instead became surreal. It was not the fault of the staff; they
were, like us, prisoners of a system.

At least my father's problem was pain, and pain can be controlled
right until the end.

But I do not know how you control a sense of loss and the slow
slipping of the mind away from the living body - the kind that old-
timer's disease causes.

I know my father was the sort of man who didn't make a fuss, and
perhaps I would not, either, if pain were the only issue for me. But
it isn't.

I am enjoying my life to the full, and hope to continue for quite
some time. But I also intend, before the endgame looms, to die
sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my
hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod -- the latter because Thomas's
music could lift even an atheist a little bit closer to Heaven --
and perhaps a second brandy if there is time.

Oh, and since this is England I had better add: 'If wet, in the
library.'

Who could say that is bad? Where is the evil here?

[Note: the text of this letter continues in part 2]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 1, continued on Part 2 of 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
22nd AUGUST 2009
*********************************************************************

SPECIAL EDITION AUGUST 2009: CONVENTION NEWS THAT JUST CAN'T WAIT

PART 2 OF 2

*********************************************************************

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

INDEX:

6) FINAL NADWCON UPDATES, CONTINUED
7) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

6) MORE FINAL NADWCON UPDATES

Gala Banquet Buffet
On September 6th, Sunday evening of the convention, we will be
hosting a Gala Banquet Buffet, themed "A Night at the Rhoxie." In
conjunction with the banquet, we are also holding a poetry contest,
which is open to all members, not just those with banquet tickets.
The poetry contest is open for submissions at poetry @ nadwcon.org
until August 14. Banquet tickets are now on sale on the website,
for $70. The cutoff for Banquet ticket purchasing is August 23rd,
so hurry and get your ticket now! Please note: if you have not yet
registered for the convention, please DO NOT purchase a banquet
ticket. Details regarding the theme and more information on the
banquet and poetry contest are available on the convention website.
Payments may be made via PayPal or by mail. See the Banquet page
for more details on payment.

Seamstress Guild Party
On September 4th, Friday evening of the convention, the Seamstress
Guild will be hosting a party which all members may attend. On the
glorious night in question, the Grand Ballroom will be transformed
into the Seamstress Guild Hall. Ladies of the Guild and gentleman
from the Men's Auxiliary will be hosting a grand reception that
involves food, music, and a Discworld scavenger hunt, as well as the
chance to meet the very flower of Discworld Society, such as it is,
and be photographed for the Truth's Society Page. Prizes for best
costumes worn that evening will be awarded by our Esteemed Patron,
Sir Terry Pratchett.

Sir Terry has also arranged for a special gift for our attendees,
which will remain a secret until the night in question.... To visit
the Seamstress Guild discussion board, where the men and women of
the guild are gathered to plan both the party and their costumes, go
here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/seamstressguild/

Maskerade
On September 5th, Saturday evening of the convention, we will be
hosting a Maskerade, an on-stage costume competition where attendees
may show off their costumes and present a brief sketch or other
performance to lend zing to their costumes if they like. An on-line
registration form and many other details are available on our
website.

Charity Auction
It is our pleasure to announce that we will be hosting a Charity
Auction during the convention, to benefit the Alzheimer's Research
Trust and the Orangutan Foundation. Our Charity Auction Director,
Catherine Book, is organizing an interesting and desirable selection
of cool items to bid for. Our goodies will be on display Friday
through Saturday, and there will be Charity Auction Program Guides
available at Registration. Many donations have come in, including
some choice Discworld items from Colin Smythe's attic, and a
preliminary list of auction items is being updated on our website as
new donations arrive. Don't forget to bring your wallets so that you
can bid often, bid high!

Convention Programs and Events
Events planned for the convention will, of course, center around the
Discworld and Terry Pratchett. Terry will take part in several
panels, will do several autographing sessions (Please note, we will
be limiting the signings to two items per person with no
personalization per Terry's request), will be in the spotlight for a
couple of main Terry-oriented events, and will host some
kaffeeklatches. Programming will start around noon on Friday,
September 4th and continue until Closing Ceremonies in the late
afternoon on Monday, September 7th.

Events and activities will include Opening Ceremonies, a Seamstress
Guild Party, the Maskerade, a Charity Auction to benefit The
Alzheimer's Research Trust and the Orangutan Foundation, Holy Wood
Squares, a Bande With Rocks In competition, the Gala Banquet Buffet
(with a theme of "A Night at the Rhoxie"), a modern dance, and
regency dancing.  Discussion panels will cover Discworld specific
topics as well as general discussion panels on writing, including a
writing workshop/seminar with Diane Duane and Peter Morwood. Please
note: if you are interested in participating in the Writers'
Workshop, please visit:
http://www.owlspringspartnership.com/workshop/NADWC_Writers_Workshop
_handout_2009.pdf

to download the preparatory materials beforehand. People looking for
more info about what else they are planning to do in the seminar
should check here, where they can leave questions/comments:
http://www.owlspringspartnership.com/new-from-the-partnership-
discworld-writers-seminar-workshop).

We will be screening the recent BBC Documentary -- Terry Pratchett:
Living with Alzheimer's -- and all of the Discworld TV adaptations.
We're looking to have some gaming going on with the Discworld RPG
from Steve Jackson Games as well as the Thud! board game. We'll have
a dealers room with books, jewelry, costumes and more, an art show
with a variety of science fiction and fantasy art, a hospitality
suite where members can hang out and munch on free snacks during the
convention, and a Costumers Dungeon where fans can get help with
their costumes from members of the Southwest Costumers Guild.

A preliminary list of programs and events is now available on our
website, so please check the "Programs and Events" section and keep
an eye on it for updates in the coming weeks. Also, we already have
special sections full of information on the Seamstress Guild Party,
Maskerade, Charity Auction, and Gala Banquet Buffet available for
your perusal; just click the appropriate sidebar links! Please note
that all programs are subject to change based on availability of
participants and other circumstances.

Costumers Dungeon
Many of our members will be wearing costumes during the convention
and participating in the maskerade. To provide help with any costume
emergencies or to help get ideas for coming up with a costume on the
spot, we will have a Costumers Dungeon hosted by the Southwest
Costumers Guild where you can find a needle and thread, scissors,
glue guns, sewing machines and other handy tools for fixing or
modifying your costume.

Dealers Room
We're in the process of confirming the sellers who will be in the
dealers room. We will definitely have several booksellers, jewelers,
corsets, costume accessories, t-shirts, and a professional
photographer that will be available to take pictures of you and your
friends in costume. Look for a list soon on the web site with links
to the dealers with web sites.

Art Show
Our art show will be relatively small, but we plan to feature
several artists who have been popular at our LepreCon art shows.
There will also be display tables for the items in the charity
auction where you can inspect them at your leisure. Please visit the
"Dealers Room and Art Show" page of our website for further details.

Honored Guests
As you know, our Guest of Honor is Sir Terry Pratchett himself. Our
Toastmistress is Esther M. Friesner, who is best known for the
humorous anthologies she has edited such as Chicks in Chain Mail and
the most recent collection Witch Way to the Mall?. Other guests
include Diane Duane (author of the Young Wizards series of novels as
well as many Star Trek novels), Peter Morwood (writer of The Horse
Lords series and other novels), Bernard Pearson (the Discworld
Cunning Artificer), Terry's UK agent Colin Smythe, plus Terry's U.S.
editors Jennifer Brehl and Anne Hoppe. We're also expecting some
other authors to take part, including Sarah A. Hoyt, Daniel M. Hoyt
and possibly some of our local authors as well.

Exclusive Interview with Terry Pratchett!
Our Vice Chair, Emily Whitten, interviewed Sir Terry at last
August's UK Discworld Convention. Read the interview now by clicking
the link in the sidebar of our site, or checking it out at
SFRevu.com:
http://www.sfrevu.com/php/Review-id.php?id=9475

Committee
We have added a number of new committee members to our Convention
Committee over the last several months. If you have an inquiry about
a particular part of the convention that is not already answered on
the website, check the committee page first to see who the proper
committee contact person is. Also, please be patient in awaiting a
replay. As we get closer to the convention, the amount of incoming
email appears to be increasing at an exponential rate!

Igors (Volunteers)
Any convention needs volunteer help, and we're no exception. If you
have not yet contacted our Volunteer Coordinator and would like to
offer your aid, please email volunteer@... and let Rowan
know your contact information and what skills you might be able to
offer. We will have a special t-shirt exclusively for our
volunteers. We will be contacting all volunteers very shortly with
specific needs, and thank you all in advance for helping to make our
convention as fantastic as possible! Please note that in order to
volunteer at the convention, you do need to have a membership.

Convention Merchandise
Our first convention exclusive is a beautiful sterling silver turtle
in the shape of our convention symbol, available as either a pin or
pendant. The silver turtle jewelry is produced by Discworld jeweler
Barrie Wakeford of The Crystal Connection, maker of Tiffany's White
Horse necklace and other Discworld jewelry. Each pin or pendant will
be numbered and include a small certificate. Also, with every
purchase, a voucher code for 10% off of your next purchase from The
Crystal Connection will be included. These are available by mail
order only, from now until the close of the convention on September
7, 2009, so hurry and order one now! For photos and more information
on how to order your very own silver turtle, please visit our
merchandise page on the convention website.

Our convention will be offering a selection of convention t-shirts
and tote bags. These will be available on the website for pre-order
a few weeks before the convention, and will also be available for
purchase at the convention itself. Pre-orders will be for pick-up at
the convention only; there will be no mail orders. Please note: if
you pre-order via the website prior to the convention, you can get a
discount on your order.

Also debuting at the convention will be a special stamp designed by
Bernard Pearson, with a special First Day Cover available only at
the convention.

Stay tuned for other pieces of exclusive convention merchandise that
will be revealed shortly!

Don't forget to check the convention news community
(http://community.livejournal.com/nadwcon2009/) for updates. They
will be more often in the weeks leading up to the convention. We now
also have a Twitterfeed for short updates:
(http://twitter.com/nadwcon). Stay tuned for all the latest news!

Lee Whiteside
North American Discworld Convention Chair


***************

And now, a special bonus missive from The Cunning Artificer himself,
Mr. Bernard Pearson:

Hello you lot.

It has been raining.

England and the weather.

The English are a strange race. Fire, revolution, pestilence, war;
all could be going on in an Englishman's back yard and would he
mention it? Would he hell, no way, not a murmur. But the weather,
well that has to only deviate from the norm by a fraction and your
average Englishman comes over all Italian "underneath" topside it's
the stiff upper lip with maybe a quiver, or a snarl, sometimes a
brief transitory smile. Below the surface passions rage like a rice
pudding on the boil.

So its been raining. We had some sun, and now it's gone, probably
for ever and ever. We English are like that, too, "doom & gloom" is
the best attitude to life, especially with our weather. Now that is
one reason Granny Pearson and I are looking forward to the Great
Arizona Experience. We have begun preparations for packing and
Granny is writing a list. She is a world class list writer and this
is becoming a big list. I give you an example:

Sun Cream
Sun Block
Sun Burn Ointment
Sun Shades
Sun Hat

There are 28 other entries for "sun" in addition to Desert Winds,
Desert Flora & Fauna That Might Give Rise to Bites and Rashes,
Native American War Parties, Cattle Rustlers, Bandits, etc.

Then there is the business of stamps to be finalised for the Con and
all sorts of other jolly, exciting stuff that we hope to bring.

Oh we're so excited. So much new to see and so many friends to meet
again and make afresh.

I'm told I might be allowed to wear a Stetson and have one of those
funny fruit drinks with a bug in it. What fun. It almost takes the
mind off the weather. Oh, its stopped raining. I think I'll take the
cats for a walk, cheerio for now.

See you all soon

Bernard the Stout, Artificer to the Gentry

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

7) THE LAST WORD...FOR NOW

I'd just like to mention that WOSSNAME's own Weird Alice Lancrevic
has delivered a special commission by request of the NADWcon
Committee: namely, a Discworld-themed reimagining of selections from
the Rocky Horror Show! These will be performed, by specially trained
filk-singers in appropriate costume, at the Convention's filk
sessions during the weekend. Weird Alice is delighted to be
participating in the first official North American Discworld
convention, even from afar. Get ready to be amazed...

-- Annie Mac

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 2.
If you did not receive both parts of this special bulletin, write to:
interact@...
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
22nd AUGUST 2009
*********************************************************************

SPECIAL EDITION AUGUST 2009: CONVENTION NEWS THAT JUST CAN'T WAIT

*********************************************************************

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

INDEX:

1) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
2) AFP BANK HOLIDAY MEET-INNA-FIELD
3) QUESTIONS FOR PTERRY
4) LIBRARY TALK DATE CHANGE
5) FINAL NADWCON UPDATES!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1) LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Wotcha! This is a special announcement for both UK/European WOSSNAME
readers, covering some last-minute meet and convention news. Don't
forget, the alt.fans.pratchett meet takes place in a few days' time
(here's hoping for good weather), and NADWcon in barely twelve days'
time, so below are assorted details and heads-ups.

See you in a couple of days with the regular issue...

-- Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

2) AFP MEET-INNA-FIELD: NEXT WEEKEND!

To make up for the lack of a CCDE event two years ago some AFP types
decided to hold their own meet-inna-field camping meet, and it can't
have been too bad as we're doing it again this year. The details of
this year's AFPcamp are as follows:

The dates of this meet are the English August Bank Holiday, which
for those not in England/Wales is the last weekend of August (27th
to 31st).
The site is the Hollybush Inn near Hay-on-Wye.
The website is http://www.hollybushcamping.co.uk/index.php.
This map http://good.ly/m5gey6 shows the location.

Information:
*Camping is £6 per adult and £3 per child per night.
*They have tipis and a yurt to hire at roughly double that cost if
you don't want to have to bring your own tent (see the website).
*They also do B&B (unfortunately this is now all taken, so for B&B
you'll now need to look around Hay for B&B).
*They have hookup points for caravans, and a private field for our
event.
*They have amenities (loos, showers) included in the cost.
*Dogs are welcome as long as they are on leads and owners clean up
after them.
*The pub itself serves real ale and has a lovely looking down to
earth and not too expensive menu.
*For the booklovers among you the site is about 2 miles outside
Hay-on-Wye.
*They have offered us the use of their BBQ (or to actually run one
if we want them to) for the Saturday night.
*They have a live act on in the pub on the Friday night (someone
called Kent Duchaine - you can find his details through google).
*Public Transport - to get to the site requires train to Hereford
and then a 1 hour bus ride to Hay-on-Wye, however both trains and
buses are believed to be frequent (seehttp://good.ly/c55rg2).
We think it should be straightforward to find solutions for people
to get to the site, by afptaxi or similar.
*For any of you who don't want to spend too much, leave your credit
cards behind because it's only about 2 miles from Hay-on-Wye (did I
mention the books?).

For those of you who have Livejournal accounts there is an LJ
community set up called DW_AUGBH_2009
(http://community.livejournal.com/dw_augbh_2009).

There is a poll in that community to indicate you will be attending,
here:
http://community.livejournal.com/dw_augbh_2009/1764.html.
(If you don't have an LJ account you can still see all this stuff,
but if you do comment you'll need to say in the comment who you are,
or email me direct).

If you want to camp, then all you have to do is let the organisers
know (via the poll or email) and then turn up that weekend, pay and
camp. If you want to hire a tipi or yurt, then please contact the
venue ASAP (but still let us know you're coming along). Basically,
if you'll be there, wherever you'll be staying, let us know :-)

We are already expecting 35-40 people to be there, so please come
along and swell the numbers and have fun. There will doubtless be
impromptu wine tastings, music, chatter, and all the other things
you'd expect from a bunch of afpers (and friends) in a field!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

3) ANY QUESTIONS?

NADWcon welcomes suggestions for questions to ask Pterry during the
guest of honour interview:

"If you could ask Terry Pratchett just one question, what would it
be? Better decide, because now's your chance to do so - or at least,
to hear your question asked on The Big Stage, if we decide to
include it in our convention's Guest of Honor interview!"

http://community.livejournal.com/nadwcon2009/28800.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

4) OOOK! PTERRY'S LIBRARY TALK UPDATE

The date of Pterry's Authors @ the Teague appearance at the Velma
Teague Library has been changed to Tuesday, September 8, at 10am.
(from Thursday, 3 September at 1 p.m. as originally posted).

A recap of the details:

The talk and signing will be held at the City Hall Council Chambers
(next to the Velma Teague Branch Library) 7010 N. 58th Ave,
Glendale, Arizona

Parking will be available in the downtown parking structure at 58th
Dr. and Palmaire Ave.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

5) NADWCON UPDATES

Yes, it's the pre-NADWcon final update! Which is like the Final
Countdown, only more up than down. Here's an eleventh-hour missive
from the valiant and overworked Lee Whiteside and his merry crew:

Greetings from the North American Discworld Convention Committee!

With just under four weeks to go until the moment we've all been
waiting for, we're hard at work finalizing all of the events and
activities for the North American Discworld Convention. In order to
make sure any last minute updates get out to all our members, we've
moved our email list to a new provider and have now gotten it to the
point where we are able to send out a new update to all of you. As
with previous updates, this will also be visible on the convention
news page and posted on the convention message board for those of
you who have spam filters that decide this is an inappropriate
email. We have a cartload full of convention news and updates for
all of you, and Commander Vimes has instructed us to deliver it to
you immediately! So here it is!

Convention Memberships
Membership have been selling at a steady rate all summer, and with
the recent Terry Pratchett Author Tracker mention of the convention
by HarperCollins (as well as a post by Neil Gaiman on his journal),
we have taken in over 150 new memberships in the last couple of
weeks, putting us at our cap of 900 members. We have closed down
registration while we process all of the new memberships to
determine if we have any space left. If we do, we will re-open
registration briefly, and alert everyone to this opportunity via an
e-newsletter and our news forum:

(http://community.livejournal.com/nadwcon2009/)

We are limiting memberships due to the size of our main ballroom,
which can seat 900. We assume everyone attending the convention will
want to be in the room when Terry is speaking and we want to make
sure everyone will be able to fit into the room.

There are a few members who have changed their plans and will not be
attending the convention after all. They have been offering to sell
their memberships on the NADWCon Message Board. Please make the
board postings under "Registration and Membership" the first place
you look if you would like to buy a membership from one of these
members (http://nadwcon.9.forumer.com/). We ask that if you do
transfer your membership to someone else, you please send us a
signed letter informing us of that, along with the contact
information of the person(s) receiving the membership(s).

The website also hosts our updated Member List, in the Registration
section of the site. Please check there before contacting us if you
want to confirm that we have received your registration. The Member
List is current to the date posted on the site, and will be updated
to our current list in the next few days. If you submitted your
registration after the date listed on the site, we are still
processing your registration, and it will be added to the list
shortly. Note that if you asked us to not list your name on the web
site, it should not be there. If you have decided you want something
different for your badge name than what you submitted when you
registered, please let us know soon.

Also, just for fun, try clicking on the "Map of Attendees" in the
Registration section. Feel free to add your name to the map so we
can see where everyone is coming from!

Hotel Updates
The Mission Palms hotel filled up in early June and we have arranged
for an overflow block at the Downtown Tempe Courtyard Marriott hotel
at a $99 per night rate (plus tax). Use the group code "nadnada" to
book online. Please note that some of the nights you can book at a
lower rate online, but if you are staying through the full weekend,
you will want to use the group code for at lease the last couple of
nights. We do have a waiting list at the Mission Palms hotel, and it
is possible that some rooms may become available. Please contact the
Mission Palms hotel directly to be added to the waiting list. If you
do have to cancel your room, please let us know (hotel @nadwcon.org)
so that we can make sure the room goes back into the convention's
block and can be used for the next person on the waiting list. We
have already had some cancellations and have been able to get some
of those on the waiting list into the Mission Palms.

There are also several people looking for roommates that have rooms
at the Mission Palms, and we've got a section on the NADWCon Message
Board ("Roomshare and Rideshare") to help members find someone to
share their room with. The hotel is also in the process of
remodeling their rooms; and we've had a chance to see some of the
remodeled rooms, which look very nice and now include a mini-fridge
in every room!

We are working on arranging some sort of transportation between the
two hotels but don't yet have the details confirmed.

Group Tour Options
We have partnered with Detours of Arizona to bring you five group
tour options to choose from if you would like to see more of Arizona
before or after the convention. Tours depart from Tempe Mission
Palms, Tempe Courtyard, and other locations. Choose from the Grand
Canyon Day Tour with Sedona and Navajo Nation, the Scottsdale-
Phoenix City Highlights Half Day Tour, the Tombstone Day Tour, the
Sedona Full Day Tour, and the Apache Trail Full or Half Day Tour.
Visit our special convention page on the Detours of Arizona website
for full details on each trip and information on how to book:
http://www.detoursaz.com/discworld-tours-2009

If you want to visit Sedona, AZ, Pink Jeep Tours is offering
convention attendees a 20% discount offer for their off-road family
adventures in the Southwest. These tours depart from Sedona, AZ, so
you would need to arrange for transportation to that city. Visit
their website for more details on the tours:
http://www.pinkjeep.com/

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Continued in Part 2 of 2.
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- JULY 2009 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

====Part 5 -- HOROSCOPE, LEFTOVERS, CLOSE

30) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
31) LATE BREAKING NEWS
32) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

30) THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

by Fernando Magnifico

Buongiorno my friends, it is I, Fernando! The Lady Asterisk has
caught the frumps on both sides, but do not fear, for Fernando will
be your astrologer today!

Fernando came to Ankh-Morpork because it is the greatest city on the
Disc -- the sights! The sounds! The smells! For the lovers of
cities, Ankh-Morpork is the queen of cities. Perhaps the slightly
crazy queen who does not wash enough and loves the surprise
beheadings, but still the queen, and Fernando is proud that
Morporkia has taken him to her great bosom. But as magnificent as
the city is, nearly as magnificent as Fernando himself, there are
those who love the land as much, or perhaps more, than the city.
Fernando understands this well, my friends, for he too has the
passion for the land flowing through his veins. It is one of
Fernando's many passions. So my friends, if you too share Fernando's
passion for the land, you will be very please this month, for
Fernando has asked the stars what is your best occupation for
working on the land. Ciao bella!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Adamant Hedgehog  21 Mar - 20 Apr

Your occupation is: farming

Hoggers, the stars say your occupation is to be the farmer. You get
to work long hours raising the animals or growing the crops. In the
good years, the bankers or the local baron will take half your
profit, and in the bad years, when there is flood or drought, they
will take it all. But it's not all bad, my friends, for it is good
healthy work, and you will raise the strong bambinos who will grow
up to leave the farm for the big city and send you a few dollars
each month. And you will never lack for the freshest food, except
for the years with flood or drought, or when the banditos come and
steal everything, or when the plague of pineapples descend, or when
the army, your country's army, or the enemy's, it doesn't matter,
passes through.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Half-Eaten Sandwich  21 Apr - 21 May

Your occupation is: forestry

Your occupation is the woodcutter or lumberjack. Do not be afeared
if you do not have your own axe, for one will be provided, and the
wearing of women's clothes is not compulsory (even for the
lumberjills), despite what the famous songs may have led you to
believe. A word of advice, my friends: cultivate the friendship of
an Igor, for there will come a time when the axe will slip or the
tree will fall the wrong way. Fernando knows that this is so!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Herne the Hunted  22 May - 21 Jun

Your occupation is: exploring

Hernians, Fernando knows that you are under the influence of the God
Of Small Things Which Go Squeak And Die In The Undergrowth, but do
not be fooled, for Hernians are made of the very stern stuff, as
they say in Morpork, like Fernando's great-uncle Giuseppe who during
the war with Borogravia -- not the recent one, or the one before
that, but the one before the one before that -- crawled three miles
through the thickest brambles while carrying his capitan to safety.
It was molto coraggioso, even though the fighting was fifteen miles
away and the capitan's only injury was a small cut he got shaving.
Unfortunately after being dragged three miles through thorns he was
cut to shreds and got blood poisoning and died. Uncle Giuseppe was
awarded a medal for this -- the Brindisian Army doesn't expect the
soldiers to be smart so long as they are brave. (Perhaps this is why
we so often lose the battles? Fernando does not approve of war, and
prefers to make the love instead. Fernando may have mentioned this
before. Once or twice.)

My friends, as a Hernian you too will need to be this brave, for the
stars say your occupation is of the explorer. Fernando knows that
you will risk the starvation and thirst, the barbarians and the wild
beasts, and every privation in savage lands, like Quirm, to discover
the lands already discovered by those same savages living there.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Wizard's Staff and Knob  22 Jun - 22 Jul

Your occupation is: running a holiday camp or remote travellers'
hostel

Fernando has the good news for Staffies, for the stars say your
occupation on the land is to run the  hostel or holiday camp.
Fernando knows that this job will be very suitable for the Staffies:
you can boss around your staff and your customers, you will have the
services of a kitchen (although Fernando knows that for the smaller
hostels, you will have to run the kitchen yourself), and the stars
tell Fernando that you will never be called on to fight ghastly
Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions. The only downside is that you
will need to be up and working before dawn. Fernando feels your
pain, cara mia.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Bilious, God of Hangovers  23 Jul - 23 Aug

Your occupation is: animal husbandry

Fernando wonders how many jokes and stories about the farmers and
their sheeps come from the simple misunderstanding of the animal
husbandry? For it is not what you think, it is the practice of
raising and breeding the farm animals. Do not worry my Bilian
friends, you are not expected to participate in the breeding with
the bulls, although Fernando knows of some farmers experimenting
with the, how do you say, milking of the bull. Your job will be to
see to it that the best animals are kept for breeding, so to improve
the species. The stars say that this requires attention to detail,
good record keeping, and a quiet and sober disposition. If you have
ever had a wine cellar, you at least will have the first two.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Celestial Parsnip  24 Aug - 23 Sept

Your occupation is: gamekeeping

Snippies, your occupation is to be the gamekeeper, to work on the
country estate to prevent poachers, manage the game-birds like
pheasant and grouse, and control predators like the foxes, weasels
and Feegles. Fernando understands that the last one is best
performed by being elsewhere when they are passing through the
estate. Do not be like Fernando's uncle Salvatore, who once tried to
stomp on a gnome. Now you know how he got his wooden leg.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars  24 Sept - 23 Oct

Your occupation is: landscape gardening

Boring'uns, the stars say that your occupation working on the land
is to be the landscape gardener. Considering some of the other
signs, you have got off lucky: all you have to worry about is
dropping the large stones on your feets, splinters from the shovel,
sunstroke in summer, chills in winter, biting insects, disturbed
mouses, snakes in the grass, poisonous spiders under logs, dread
diseases from the dirt, plants with thorns, hayfever, bee stings,
waspses and, if you ever do work for a temple or church, Mrs Cake.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Androgyna Majestis  24 Oct - 22 Nov

Your occupation is: sea-faring

Andies are well known for having the two opposite sides to their
character, and so it is fitting that the stars say that your
occupation is the kind of working on the land that's actually
working on the water. Many a young lad, and a few young lasses, have
run away to the sea as cabin-boy, only to come back many years later
with a fleet of ships, a parrot, a fortune in gold, and a price on
their head. For those who are less piratical, Fernando knows that
fishing is a good occupation, like Nonigienico the fishmonger in
Fernando's village. Or you can scavenge the Circumfence, but do not
let the Krullians catch you.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Spoons, a.k.a. the Greater and Lesser Spoons, 23 Nov - 21 Dec

Your occupation is: shepherding or droving

Spooners are good with dogs, and the stars say that you will need to
be for your occupation, for it is to be the shepherd or drover.
Fernando knows that to control the sheeps and coos, there is nothing
like having the well-trained sheepdog or cattle dog. (Fernando has
often wondered -- why is sheepdog one word, but cattle dog two? And
why is the meats of a lamb called "lamb", but of a baby coo "veal"?
Morporkian is a strange language.) The stars also say that you will
be especially successful should you hire a yennork. Fernando knows
that this is so!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Hoki the Jokester  22 Dec - 20 Jan

Your occupation is: road-building

Hokians, your outdoor occupation is the road-builder. You will be
wokened rudely an hour before dawn by big men with sticks, then
marched off in chains into the fields where you spend the next ten
hours hitting rocks with big hammers and picks, and they don't even
pay you. At least this is what Fernando's cousin Mario tells him,
who was sentenced to three months road-building for the incident
with the milk-cow at the magistrate's daughter's wedding.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The Rather Large Gazunda  21 Jan - 18 Feb

Your occupation is: mountaineering

Gazundians, your occupation is that of the mountaineer, the person
who climbs to the top of the mountain and then climbs back down. The
stars warn that coming down again is not necessarily easier than
going up, because it is a long way to fall if you slip, so be
careful cara mias! Fernando is not exactly sure why this is the
occupation, rather than the hobby, but Fernando understands that
there are peaks of many tall mountains in the Ramtops which have
never been stood on, apart from by the trolls and yetis and the
occasional witch, so perhaps you will find some king or duke willing
to pay you to climb the mountains in the Ramtops and plant his flag.
Not that the trolls or yetis will care whose flag they eat.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Lesser Umbrage   19 Feb - 20 Mar

Your occupation is: mining

Fernando knows that there is much mining which is done on the land.
You can search for gold and jewels without even digging a hole in
the ground, provided you have a stream and a pan. For those who
prefer the chances of a much richer find, there is mining underneath
the land, underground in tunnels. Fernando understands that this is
the molto dangerous work, especially if you mine in dwarf land
without paying their fees: there are rock falls, pockets of gas
(much like Fernando's cousin Ramon, ha ha ha, Fernando makes the
little joke), hibernating trolls that look like rocks with
interesting minerals, and worse things. But if not for the miners,
how would Fernando get his gold medallion?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

31) AND FURTHERMORE...

In case you happened to miss this, there's a lovely short video on
the Terry Pratchett Books homepage of Pterry talking about the
successes of Discworld books, the way he approached Unseen
Academicals, and a funny, gentle dig at writers of *any* era who
don't inject enough realistic touches into their stories. The video
is embedded about one-third of the way down the page:

http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/


No news back yet from the Darwin Festival that took place earlier
this month with Pterry and Jack Cohen among the featured guests, but
hopefully there will be pictures and more for next month's issue.
The Darwin Festival site says:

"We have made recordings of all the day-time sessions and we also
have over 24 hours worth of interviews with speakers and delegates.
Once this has been edited, which may take some time, this resource
will be made available via the Festival website as well as a number
of other channels. We are also putting a Festival photo gallery
together which should be online by the end of July."

www.darwin2009festival.com

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

32) AND IT'S AU REVOIR FROM US

And so another issue staggers in at the eleventh hour of the monthly
calendar... since the news has been coming so thick and fast, if
anything urgent comes up between now and August there may be a Hold
the Back Page special edition. So for now, enjoy those long summer
days -- or short winter ones, if you're reading this in the
continent EcksEcksEcksEcks -- and we'll see you again soon!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part 5.
If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

WOSSNAME -- JULY 2009 -- PART 4 OF 5 (continued)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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====Part 4 -- REVIEWS, RECOMMENDATIONS, ODDS AND SODS

16) NATION: A RECOMMENDATION
17) PTERRY'S BOOKS ARE "RECESSION PROOF"
18) REVIEWS OF THE COLO(U)R OF MAGIC DVD
19) TIFFANY ACHING BOOKS RECOMMENDED
20) PTERRY GETS IT...WRITE
21) ...AND SERVES AS A BENCHMARK
22) THE LUGGAGE: NOW IN ROUNDWORLD?!
23) UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WOULD LOVE THESE TECHNOMANCERS
24) RADIO BIRDSONG BACK ON THE AIR... SORT OF
25) OF SMALL GODS AND ALL GODS
26) AND SPEAKING OF OM...
27) IN PRAISE OF REG SHOE
28) GAMES NEWS
29) BUGARUP UNIVERSITY NEWSROUND

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

16) NATION: A RECOMMENDATION

The San Marcos Daily Record's "Answers to Go" column makes a
recommendation for young readers this summer:

"Satirical portraits of upper-class twits, slapstick buffoonery, bad
puns, and English wit buoy this story at every turn. Add a romance
of gentle sweetness, encounters with ghosts, and lots of gunfire,
and it is hard to imagine a reader who won't feel welcomed into this
nation."

http://tinyurl.com/kuef87

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

17) PTERRY'S BOOKS ARE "RECESSION PROOF"

Arifa Akbar writes in The Independent:

"The publishing trade has always drawn strength from the smug
refrain that "books are recession proof". Until now... Book sales
have taken an unforeseen tumble; we find redundancy announcements
made at Random House, HarperCollins and Waterstone's and writers
face a precipitous drop in advances... [publishers] are now
preferring to hand seven-figure advances to guaranteed big-hitters
such as Dan Brown and Terry Pratchett..."

http://tinyurl.com/mt73lv

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

18) REVIEWS OF THE COLO(U)R OF MAGIC DVD

from the Globe and Mail:

"Do you prefer your fantasies with dragons, talking swords and
reluctant heroes, or with supernatural powers and people propelled
backward through plate-glass windows? Either way, you've come to the
right place..."

http://tinyurl.com/mqes3k


from JustPressPlay:

A fairly critical review that, despite the writer's mediocre skill
when it comes to writing cogently -- not to mention his epic fail at
fact-checking (he seems to think Rincewind was played by "David
Jones"), does make some points worth reading:

"Even a mini-series falls victim to budgetary restrictions, so it's
fortunate that the overall production has Pratchett's story to fall
back on. And that really is the saving grace of The Color of Magic:
the source material. Vadim Jean made a decent effort in translating
the witty and quirky charm of the characters, but the translation is
far from perfect..."

http://tinyurl.com/lvafpv

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

19) TIFFANY ACHING BOOKS RECOMMENDED

In the Pocono Record:

"If you like fantasy spiked with quirky humor, the Tiffany Aching
series, by Terry Pratchett, is just what you need. The first in the
series, 'The Wee Free Men,' introduces us to Tiffany, a young girl
with common sense and mystical powers she hasn't quite figured out
yet...Tiffany is discovering the power within her, but it's not
about potions and spells... Fans of Douglas Adams will appreciate
the offbeat humor..."

http://tinyurl.com/mohjjw

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

20) PTERRY GETS IT...WRITE

In an essay on writing in the Daily Kos, blogger and creative
writing teacher Sensible Shoes references Pterry several times as an
example of how to write right:

"Terry Pratchett is particularly brilliant in-- well, in everything,
really, but in building the ending throughout the story...
[Pratchett] is one of the few writers that never seems to write much
about writing, but I imagine he goes back in the revision and puts
in the building blocks of his endings..."

http://tinyurl.com/koou9q

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

21) ...AND SERVES AS A BENCHMARK

...which is happening more and more of late, and not before time! In
this blog review of a number of recent novels, Matt Cutts writes:

"If you squint your eyes just right, this could almost be a Terry
Pratchett book. But where Pratchett dangled the end of the world in
front of readers with a smile, as if to say 'don't worry, every
thing will be fine,' Martinez's book loses its footing toward the
end when it tackles such weighty matters..."

http://www.mattcutts.com/blog/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

22) THE LUGGAGE: NOW IN ROUNDWORLD?!

Luggage that carries itself has come to Roundworld! Looking more
like the offspring of R2D2 and a vacuum cleaner than the homicidal
sapient-pearwood chest we know and love, the Live Luggage Hybrid PA
nonetheless shares some of its counterpart's qualities:

"When the owner stops pulling it, it is supposed to stop the luggage
as well, although various scenarios of mayhem spring to mind at the
all too obvious idea that the luggage may develop a mind of its
own..."

http://www.unthinkable.biz/home/article/312/

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

23) UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WOULD LOVE THESE TECHNOMANCERS

"By the Pratchett definition Charles Simonyi is not strange; he's
eccentric. It's like strange, but with a lot more money...."

This article in IT News, listing "the top ten" odd people famous in
IT, has only that tenuous connection to Discworld, but it's
fascinating reading, well worth a look. Some of these folk would
make excellent wiz(z)ards!

http://tinyurl.com/kvy6cv

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

24) RADIO BIRDSONG BACK ON THE AIR... SORT OF

"Pratchett might be pleased to know that the interactive station
that's replaced it – Amazing Radio – by way of easing people
into the transition have programmed two hours of bird song and
ambient music between 11pm and 1am each night. So now he can enjoy
the sound of the collared dove, chiffchaff and coal tit..."

http://tinyurl.com/kuhyfu

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

25) OF SMALL GODS AND ALL GODS

In Creative Loafing, blog reviewer Chris Deal offers thoughts about
"Five novels to read while thinking about faith":

"I'd rather take a look at some books that say something about
religion in our individual lives. What is the role of religion? What
does it do for us, on a day by day basis?... This satirical read
takes close look at the institutions built around faith, and, as is
natural for Pratchett, takes the piss out of them... Small Gods
looks at what real, simple faith is all about..."

http://tinyurl.com/ktlx4r

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

26) AND SPEAKING OF OM...

In central China, a twelve-year-old girl was knocked senseless and
badly injured by a tortoise that fell out of the sky:

"A police spokesman said: 'Given the force of the blow this
tortoise, which weighed 3lbs must have been thrown from a reasonable
height and we have questioned 16 flat owners all of whom have denied
responsibility.'"

No eagles have yet been located to assist the police with their
enquiries...

http://tinyurl.com/mr346r

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

27) IN PRAISE OF REG SHOE

Blogger and zombiephile Scott Kenemore's attempt to turn the world
on to reading Discworld novels. For the zombie content, of course.

"Reg is never the main character of a Discworld novel, but Pratchett
uses him perfectly and hilariously in supporting roles. If you've
never checked out Pratchett...and you're a zombie fan, then one of
the novels featuring Reg Shoe might be a good place to start. .."

http://tinyurl.com/6ycbz5

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

28) GAMES NEWS

28.1 RHIANNA PRATCHETT: SHE DOESN'T LIKE ELVES...

from an interview with Matthew Reynolds in Digital Spy:

"I always liked the evil guys more, and I grew up in the eighties,
which was the heyday of fantasy... I would cry as soon as a bunny
would come on with a scratch. But I was perfectly okay with things
like Conan, Terminator, Aliens, Legend - all the great fantasy films
of the eighties. [Bad guys] always are the most interesting ones;
they always get the best costumes, the best lines..."

"Building a story in a game is much more then writing words. So many
writers are almost external to the team... Basically, I'd like to
see writers and narrative professionals involved nearer the start of
the game... [as they are] in things like Overlord, and other games
out there where narrative and story work well together, and often
that's because the writer has been involved..."

http://tinyurl.com/ll2sxe


from Associated Press:

"'Trying to construct a story around levels that have already been
designed without narrative in mind, which is pretty common - and was
the case with Mirror's Edge -- is rather like trying to write a
movie for sets that have already been made. It can be incredibly
challenging.'

"The original Overlord, released in 2007, put the player in the role
of an evil despot who conquers the world with the help of
bloodthirsty gremlins. The adventure's warped perspective and black
comedy earned it cult status among like-minded gamers..."

http://tinyurl.com/nlcl63


a review of Overlord II for PS3/X360/PC at WorthPlaying:

"There are certain elements that remind me of a Terry Pratchett
tale, and I could certainly see some of the things presented being
in a Discworld novel or two... Overall, Overlord II is a great
follow-up to the original Overlord title, and it's certainly
deserving of being a true sequel. They've managed to keep intact
everything that I enjoyed about the first game, while at the same
time fixing the majority of its issues..."

http://www.worthplaying.com/article.php?sid=64026


...and at Destructoid:

"The story, written by Rhianna Pratchett, has a few high points,
especially the end twist, but it has to be said that most of the
humor misses the mark..."

http://www.destructoid.com/review-overlord-ii-138165.phtml


a review of Overlord: Dark Legend for Wii at Gamezine:

"Dark Legend is the first Overlord outing on the Nintendo Wii and is
penned somewhat as a prequel to the original. In this version, you
take control of a young lord, who, on his 16th birthday is sent the
present of an evil suit of armour... The story itself has been
described by the writer Rhianna Pratchett (daughter of Terry) as 'a
twisted fairy tale,' where 'the lead character is in a Cinderella
scenario with his elder and rather unpleasant brother and
sister.'..."

http://tinyurl.com/nu9thp


...and at Gameplanet NZ:

"Backed by a rich, tongue-in-cheek story from award-winning games
author Rhianna Pratchett, the game features Overlord favourites
including Halflings, trolls, elves, and dwarves and introduces
wicked witches, gingerbread men and Lil' Red Riding Hood, the
seeming sweet girl with a very personal lupine secret..."

http://tinyurl.com/m5986j


a review of Overlord 2 for Xbox 360 at Seattle Post Intelligencer:

"The voice acting and dialog brought the story to life. The sound
effects and music helped set the mood. The graphics are well crafted
with lush destructible interactive environments. The graphics engine
has no problem dealing with complex battles that fill the screen...

http://tinyurl.com/nf353g


...and in Earthtimes:

"Overlord turned a lot of gaming conventions on its head when it was
introduced in 2007... gamers were asked to destroy their online
world accompanied by a horde of seemingly insane small people who
occasionally used pumpkins as helmets. It worked because the point
of Overlord wasn't pure evil, but evil concocted in an entertaining
fashion... Overlord II continues the tradition..."

http://tinyurl.com/l5fnju


28.2 ...AND THIS IS NOT ABOUT *RHIANNA* PRATCHETT...

Rhianna's father gets a mention in a games review on
destructoid.com:

"On a largely unrelated note, do you know who I think really nailed
the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Neil Gaiman and Terry
Pratchett. Their vision of War, Famine, Pestilence and Death were
absolutely brilliant interpretations..."

http://tinyurl.com/myts27

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

29) AROUND THE BU CAMPUS

29.1 GOING POSTAL CAST...AND BABY NAMES

The news of the Going Postal cast and the news of two of ozdw's
high-profile posters expecting babies came together in one thread...

Asti:
I'm terrible with names but recognised the faces when I looked them
up. I think it's a stellar list of names but also agree that the
casting is not always to my taste for the characters. It also rather
takes the fun out of years of idle mailing list casting  couch
speculation, when they go and do something mad like actually making
fillums of the books!!!

Vera:
We can still carry on casting Good Omens...

Jase:
...and I'm sure the ladies-in-waiting would welcome name suggestions
;)

Vera:
I suppose Urglefloggah is out of the question...?

Fuzzy:
Obviously if it's a boy, Pterry is the only logical choice of name.
That or Rincewind, anyway.

Vera:
That would be lovely if someone out there actually names their
offspring Pterry! Even better if it's fraternal twins and the other
one gets named Ptraci :-)

New Bruce:
Oh, why restrict it to character names? I quite like Thud or Jingo
for a boy's name ;)

Someone else:
I'd also suggest Muntab. Or Twoshirts.


29.2 A RANT ABOUT NATION AND YOUNG ADULT CLASSIFICATIONS

SteVen, grinding his teeth in frustration:

Yes, apparently, because the main protagonists are "children" (or
"young adults", or in the case of Mau, possibly a soulless no-
longer-a-boy-but-not-a-man demon thing), and therefore according to
the publishing industry, it's a children's book.

If you write a book where the protagonist is a mercenary killer,
it's not marketed as a book for mercenary killers.

If you write a book where the protagonist is an eccentric detective,
it's not marketed as a book for eccentric detectives.

If you write a book where the protagonist is a time-travelling alien
with multiple personalities and a penchant for wearing funny hats,
it's not marketed as a book for time-travelling aliens, with or
without the  hats.

But if you screw one goa^W^W^W^W if you write a book where the
protagonist is under 18, it is almost invariably condemned into the
ghetto of "books for kiddies".

On the other hand, "books for kiddies" will be bought by schools and
libraries and, if you're very lucky, be assigned as class projects,
all of which is good for the old bank balance, so it's not all bad.

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