Bi and Lesbian Married women is a list to provide online social space and support for queer women who are married, in long-term relationships with men, or who are contemplating such a relationship. Its purpose is to create a forum for women who need support, but who don't live in the D.C. metro area or who feel that DCBLMW's social activities don't give them a space for discussing their issues and relationships. This is a women-only list, and we ask that members identify as bi or lesbian.

Many women live in areas where there is little gay or bi outreach. When they do, lesbian-oriented support services may assume that the successful outcome of a woman coming out in marriage will be her divorcing her husband. This assumption is problematic for bi women who may have strong emotional and sexual bonds with their husbands, yet feel there are aspects of their sexuality that are still unaddressed. Regardless of how they identify, queer women may have emotional, financial, or family bonds that may make them wish to remain in a marriage. I hope that women who have resolved their marriage and family issues in different ways will participate in the list. It is not meant to focus exclusively on polyamory, although the subject will almost inevitably come up. If you think this is the group for you, I hope you'll join us!

I try to check the list every few days to approve new members, but please be patient. Also, we ask that prospective members request to join with e-mail accounts that are read only by them. Trans women are welcome to the group, but we ask that they be post-op or living full-time as a woman. Please don't request to join from an account that is used by more than one person. When you request to join, please give me a little information about yourself -- single-word requests or ones that suggest they were autogenerated will be denied. Also, be sure to check your spam quarantine folder if you haven't received a reply within a few days. Thanks!