An atheist complained to a friend because
Christians had their special holidays, such as Christmas and
Easter, and Jews celebrate their<br>national holidays,
such as Passover and Yom Kippur. "But we atheists," he
said, "have no recognized national holidays. It's
unfair discrimination."<br><br>His friend replied,
"Don't you have April first?"<br>The Fool says in his
heart, "There is no God."<br><br>See: Psalm 10:4; Psalm
14:1; Psalm 36:1; Ephesians 2:12; 1st John 2:22

In reality the fool says in his heart there is a god and all those holidays are
actually pagan holidays, not chirst-insane holidays

A Christian once complained to a friend, "I don't
understand how you are so contented with your Atheist
beliefs, that you don't proselytize your beliefs?" The
Atheist replied, "You said it for me, my
friend."<br><br>The Terrified Mind Desperately <br>Hopes,<br>And
Hopes,<br>And Hopes. Because it is without the assurance of
proof.<br><br>Did you ever hear of 'Blind Faith Day'?<br>Well,,,,
They could have called it 'No Proof Day'.<br><br>That
is why they call it the 'Great and Terrible Day Of
The Lord'. Now there, is something to
celebrate.<br><br>I'm not putting you down. I, once, lived in 'denial'
and the security of 'self deception', myself. Just to
'know' that my 'Redeemer Livith', felt sooooo
'reasuring'. The 'Terrified Mind', desperately needs, even
hungers, for 'reassurance'. To 'Save', even one Contented
Atheist, would be seen as 'Proof'. If I 'DeConverted' a
christian, I would not be saving him from anything. He is
going to the same place that I am going, anyway. So,
what the heck, if he is happy with his delusion, then
let him have it. But,,,, they are, just, not,,,,
'contented'.<br><br>See: (For Fresh 'Air' From A
Saint.)<br><a href=http://www.freeyellow.com/members7/jefrierson/page2.html
target=new>http://www.freeyellow.com/members7/jefrierson/page2.html</a><br>Or
See: The Terrified Christian Cult, through the
eyes of Julian, the Apostate, my #2, 'Main
Man'.<br><a href=http://www.freeyellow.com/members7/jefrierson/page1.html
target=new>http://www.freeyellow.com/members7/jefrierson/page1.html</a><br>Or
See and Learn: From Your Own
Book.<br><a href=http://members.aol.com/ckbloomfld/
target=new>http://members.aol.com/ckbloomfld/</a><br><br>Some of us are born
with the ability to 'pull out' of
delusion, and some 'doomed' for 'life'. I pity you.

bestonnet,<br>Neat, very Neat. Short. Packs a Punch.

Salvation is theirs to sell,<br>Accept it or go
to hell,<br>All this goes very well,<br>For the
Christian who has something to sell,<br><br>How it all
works, they will now explain,<br>Life in this world is
futile and vain,<br>There is no need to endure such
pain,<br>Not to accept this free gift would be
insane,<br><br>Subscribe to the death of an itinerant preaching jew,<br>He
was executed because of you,<br>Believe in the truth
of his resurrection is what you must do,<br>Do it or
else, eternal condemnation will ensue,<br><br>And, so
they ramble on,<br>Quoting Matthew, Mark, Luke, and
John,<br>Spewing nonsense at you as if your intellect was
gone,<br>The vestment of credulity they will don,<br><br>Any
form of protest to this doctrine they will
reprimand,<br>Relinquish reason! They will demand,<br>Conformity must
pervade the land,<br>Misology they will perpetuate by
their mighty hand,<br><br>What a dismal sight to
behold,<br>The lone thinker watches helplessly as this inanity
will unfold,<br>The damage that will occur has yet to
be told,<br>Yes the Christian message has been
sold.<br><br>To late will the time be,<br>Our impending doom you
will see,<br>Unless the lone thinker does not
flee,<br>And fight against the belief in a man who died on a
tree. <br><br>-Alphacause

Now, that is damned good. <br>I meant that to be supportive.<br>(Darned
emotional colloquial english.)

I would like you to check your facts
please.<br>1st, christians stole christmas! The Saturnalia
holiday that marked the beginning of days getting longer
and all that came with it, goes way back before JC.
You may wish to look up how the 1st christians would
stay away from the partys of the day. As they were
laughed at (Some things never change) some of them felt
that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! They gave JC
this day as his birth day (Records prove this is NOT
his birthday) and worked to make christianity the
centre of the holiday.<br>Eastos was a holiday from long
before the christians basterdised it as well! I'll leave
the history books for you to check on this one, this
way you may learn something.<br>"The Fool says in his
heart, "There is no God.""<br>I say nothing in my heart,
buy from my mouth you can hear that only fools
believe in what cannot be proved!<br>Check the facts and
get back to me, if you are polite I will not rub in
Apr, 1 so much!

Hello, I have recently read some of the recent
posts and found many of them to be quite intelligent. I
created a club called "Religious Ramifications" a few
days ago and it is thriving. I invite any of you to
join our discussion board to add something to our
points or debate ones you do not agree with. Thank
you.<br>Click on this hyperlink and
join:<a href=http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/religiousramifications
target=new>http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/religiousramifications</a>

<a href=http://flag.blackened.net/daver/anarchism/bakunin/gas.html
target=new>http://flag.blackened.net/daver/anarchism/bakunin/gas.html</a>

Hi everyone. I just joined the group. I have a lot of curiosity about your views
and standpoints. So, I hope to be around fairly often.

You're both wrong. In fact, you're all wrong.
"Bob" is the way. Only "Bob" can help you get Slack.
"Bob" will provide not forgiveness for your sins, but a
Divine Excuse. Get money, power, and SEX. Fight the
Conspiracy. Pull the wool over your own eyes. You are better
than the Pinks. Send $1 to:<br><br>The SubGenius
Foundation, Inc. <br>PO Box 140306 <br>Dallas, Texas, USA
75214<br><br>Remember, the Church of the SubGenius promises Eternal
Salvation or Triple Your Money
Back!<br><br>Yours,<br><br>Reverend Johnny P. Dammit<br><br>PRABOB

the only demonstrated fools in this forum have
been the self proclaimed christians. 1.They have had
their infallible document proven to be contradictory
and incompetent; 2. They have had their preposterous
attacks on science completely debunked; and, 3. They have
utterly failed to present one iota of evidence of the
existance of a deity that was not easily shown to be
fallacious.

No, you too.. are wrong. Raj is the LORD
according to Raj 22:5 in the book of Raj. Since the book of
Raj is inspired by god (like Raj 14:7 says).. it must
be correct. Also, since Raj 3:16 says the book of
Raj and the worship of Raj is the only true
religion.. your Bob is a false messiah and you're being
controlled by the devil.<br><br>Gotta love circular
reasoning....<br><br>-God

I say I am god therefore I am god and you must
worship me or go to hell.<br><br>I will have those that
believe in the christian god sent to hell whilst those
that believe in me or don't believe in any god are
going to heaven.

Heaven, feh. Listen, skin puppy, in the words of
St. Janor Hypercleats, "By the time you make it to
Pink Heaven, you'll be WISHING you were in SubGenius
HELLE!!!" Truer words were never spoken. Do you know what
you do ALL DAY LONG in THEIR Heaven? You STAND THERE
and you SING ENDLESS HYMNS OF PRAISE to JHVH-1 over
and over and over AND OVER AND OVER FOR EVER AND EVER
AND EVER WORLD WITHOUT END AMEN!!! Now really, does
that sound like any fun at all? Of course it doesn't.
Whereas SubGenius Heaven...well, lemme put it this way:
you have to spend an eternity (not a long one tho, so
don't get all worked up) in SubGenius Helle just to
prepare yourself for the UTTER and COMPLETE SLACK-FILLED
EXSTACY that is SubGenius Heaven. And I haven't even
mentioned the Alien Sex Goddesses. How much more incentive
do you need???<br><br>Remember, $1 to:<br><br>The
SubGenius Foundation, Inc. <br>PO Box 140306 <br>Dallas,
Texas, USA 75214<br><br>You know it makes
cents.<br><br>PRABOB<br><br>RevDam

"Contridictory and incompetent?"<br><br>"Completely debunked?"<br><br>"Evidence
of the existance of a diety?"

(How you take this will be a matter of attitude.
Some will think it is cute others will see it as
blasphemy. Your attitude will interpret the
following:)<br><br> "Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo."<br> Gearly beloved,
we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door,
who<br>art in Half-ton.<br> I'm speaking of our lord and
Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.<br> He is the Alfa and the
Romeo.<br> He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the
DeVille, and he<br>Daihatsu'd for your Sentras.<br> He
said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged.<br> Thou shalt
not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the
other <br>Cherokee.<br> If ye have Fiat, ye can move
Montecarlos.<br> He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta."<br> He ate the
Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier,
where <br>they<br>Cruise-controlled him on the
Motocross.<br> But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away
the Stanza.<br> Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet
Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In<br>the 23rd Saab, "The
Ford is my Chauffeur.<br> I shall not Walk. He Lexus
me in the paths of Right-turn-signals.<br> Yea,
though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I
shall<br>Fiero no Eagle.<br> Subaru Goo dwrench and Mercury
shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my <br>life,<br>and I
shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean,
Four-cylinder."<br><br> Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo!<br><br> (By Steve
Brooks, Winning entry in the O Henry Pun-Offs)

Oh my!  This could be the start of a beautiful religion.

yep...read the posts and learn.

I loved this...and despite the fact that my father is religous and i am not, he
loved it too...helps to be in a family where cars are a main focal point in the
converstions.

I agree with the omnicorrect gen-rul. Very
clever, alpha.<br><br>I have a good story for you guys.
They were offering free lunch at the Baptist center
this past Tuesday. So I figured, well, what the heck,
it's FREE FOOD, which is always something a person on
a limited stipend can use. I even gave them my name
and address so that they can waste their money
supporting our unconstitutional U.S. postal service by
sending me junkmail. Unfortunately, the first meal is the
only one that is free, and after that you have to pay,
so I can't go back. Don't want to financially
support the Baptists. Anyway, it was a great experience,
though the food sucked. They are doing a bible study and
since I haven't read large portions of the bible, I
thought, what a great way to kick myself into doing it
already. So I asked them about it and I guess I must have
seemed really really REALLY interested (or maybe ANY
interest at all is considered to be as prey that they need
to swoop down upon and capture!) because they all
got very excited. They were introducing me around
like I was some kind of local celebrity. I'm surprised
I didn't get clapped on the back. I got invited to
concerts, parties, dances, and a wedding shower by a dozen
complete strangers. Only the most wholesome adolescent
gatherings, you understand. And one of them has a crush on
me. LOL.

I had a friend in college who was a minister in the Church of the Subgenius.  He
was a hoot.  Welcome aboard, Reverend.

Groan!!!  LOL

Don’t laugh, don’t look at me with scornful eyes,
<br> Don’t sit and smile at my demise, <br> I sit here
choking and afraid – <br> I don’t know where to go from
here, <br> years of walking, still nothing’s clear.
<br><br> Searching, always watching for a sign, <br> On
edge and nervous all the time, <br> I think I’ve
learned to hide that well – <br> Perhaps I’ve missed a
message sent, <br> Could be wasted hours have been spent.
<br><br> I can’t tell you my belief! <br> Always scraping,
trying to see what’s underneath, <br> Broken bones and
no progress – <br> I know that I believe strongly in
myself, <br> But the torment is belief in something else!
<br><br> I lean upon the strength I have inside, <br> So
many tears, I never cried, <br> Soak my fear in salt,
the sting – <br> Rejection leaves a string attached,
<br> Daren’t break it, be alone at last. <br><br>
Darkness preys upon the aching, always grinning, <br> I
look for you, long for a beginning, <br> I never find
a thread of comfort – <br> Can’t let go of the fear
that proof may bring, <br> Always stand alone, being
eaten by my wondering.

Cool, we have a poet amoung us!

The Religious Manual of "How to Change a Light
Bulb ."<br><br>*How many Roman Catholics does it take
to change a light bulb?<br><br>None. They always use
candles.<br><br><br>*How many worship leaders who use guitars does it take
to change a light bulb? One. But soon all those
around can warm up to its glowing.<br><br><br>*How many
members of a congregation established over 20 years does
it take to change a light bulb?* One to actually
change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the
old one.<br><br><br>*How many United Methodists does
it take to change light bulb? This statement was
issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in
favour or against the need for a light bulb. However, if
in your journey you have found that a light bulb
works for you, that is fine. You are invited
to<br>write a poem or compose a modern dance about
your<br>personal relationship with your light bulb (or light
source, or non dark resource) and present it next month
at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent,<br>fluorescent, three-way, long
life, and tinted all of which are equally valid paths
of luminescence.<br><br><br>*How many Amish does it
take to change a light bulb?<br><br>"What's a light
bulb?"<br><br><br>*How many youth ministers does it take to change a
light bulb?<br><br>Youth ministers aren't around long
enough for a light bulb to burn out.<br><br><br>*How
many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light
bulb?<br><br>One hundred and nine. Seven on the Light Bulb Task
Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Light
Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee
Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance
Committee Executive of 5, who place it on the agenda of the
18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they
bring a motion to the 27 member church Board, who
appoint another 12 member<br>Review Committee. If they
recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is
brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They
appoint another member Review Committee. If their report
to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports
the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation
votes in favour, the responsibility to carry out the
light bulb change is passed on<br>to the Trustee Board,
who in turn appoint a 7 member committee to find the
best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of
which hardware store has the best buy must then be
reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain
that this hardware store has no connection to
Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then
commissions the trustee in<br>charge of the Janitor to ask
him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers
that one more light bulb has burned out.

And did those feet in ancient times,<br>trod on
America's pastures of green?<br>And did that
antrhropocentric God wane with their thoughts and beliefs all
unseen?<br>I don't think so.<br>He's up there with the others
laying low.<br>Vying with those.<br>Who you've traded
your life to, to bless your soul.<br><br>And have they
told you how to think?<br>Cleansed your mind of sepsis
and autonomy/<br>Or have you escaped from
scrutiny?<br>And regaled yourself with depraivity?<br>Now we all
see,<br>religion's just synthetic frippery.<br>Unneccessary,<br>in
our expanding global cultural efficiency.<br><br>Now
we all fear,<br>this impass we have built to our
future.<br>Ever so near.<br>And oh, so austere.<br><br>-Greg
Graffin (Bad Religion)<br><br>I listened to this song
again for the first time in a couple of years. What can
I possibly post on my own, that expresses more of
what I feel, then what Mr. Graffin has said here
today.<br><br>Anyone interested in hearing this song should pick up
Bad Religion's album, "Against the Grain."

I do not usually mention this, as my morality has
changed a lot from then. <br>In my late teens I would go
to "yonge peoples" meetings at a number of churches.
It was no surprise to me to see some of the
"sleezyest" guys I knew there. We all had the same idea, as
the christian girls could justify their desires as
they found ways to keep us intrested in "their"
church.<br>The old woman would say "The way to a mans heart is
through his stomach", it seems that there is a longer,
short cut!<br>I can fondly remember times when I would
shout "OOH GOD, OOH Oh GOOOOOOD! And behold, it was
good!

Hey, listen to this anegdote from dark
ages:<br><br>Some guy asks his neighbor: "How many teeth has donkey
got?" His neighbor says: "I have no idea. Let's ask
someone else." They asked everybody in the entire village
and noone knew. So they call a priest. He calls a
bishop. Bishop calls philosophers. They all gather on the
street wondering how many teeth donkey has. And then one
from the crowd says: "Hey, what morons are we! Why
don't we just count?" And priests respond: "What have
you said?! You know we are not allowed to do any
research?" (in dark ages church did prohibit researching)
And then one of the philosophers says: "The number of
teeth the donkey has will allways remain secret." And
the crowd disperses.

Hehe, that's funny