I had once have a dream to study accupuncture. It involves something
about the theory of using human energy lines to ease or even cure
illness. The closest term to modern medical science would be triggering
lymphoma system to extract something to fight diseases. That kind of
study sounds cool to me, especially when modern medical science failed
to cure my brother's leukemia (blood cancer). The modern medical
science rely on something that destroy cancer thing (in reality there's
not that much different betweeen cancer thing and your own body), but
it just prolong his life, and the process is very painful.
So I
got this opportunity from my mother, and the one who pay for tuition is
my other brother. And so I took a flight to one of the country where
the study of accupuncture is famous. There are four country that have
advance study of this accupuncture, which is China, Japan, Korea, and
French. I got the opportunity to go to China. And the university I go
isn't majoring in medical science. I had to study the language first,
which is Chinese language. My own nationality is Indonesia.
In
China, I lived at dormitory. And I got roommates, they are from the
same country as I am. Let's just say I got two roommates, Puff and Ted.
And there are one more that took the same dormitory but different room,
let's just called him Leo. So there are Puff, Ted, Leo, and me. Puff,
Ted, and Leo are the only names I'll use in this story. There are
seniors that study there, even they are seniors doesn't mean they are
older than me. There are some that younger than me, and it's not
because they are genius or exceptional, but because they took the
language course at younger age than myself.
Seems like the
seniors have exceptional friendship with black coloured skin, maybe
because Indonesian people's skin is also kind of light black coloured.
These people have the custom to drink at bar, and not just drink, they
seek for drink until they're drunk. At first, because I'm newcomers, I
got a little drunk, but I somehow managed not to be drunked so I can
find my way to the dormitory. Puff has got so drunk that he have to
deal with university's security for lying around the school park. My
impression of them is they are a bunch of drunk seekers, I don't even
want to know what will happen if they have become so powerful with
alcohol and seek another means to get drunk. So I tend to stand away
from them as far as I could and just have ordinary conversation with
them.
There's one time, Leo and Puff told me something that is
very disturbing. That's the story about a beggar who had skin disease
near the computer store. They think that that beggar should just be
dead. They said that government should eradicate all beggars like that,
put them together in a place than burn them to death. The beggars has
no used and they should just dead because they will just bring trouble
to anyone else. Their theory is make sense, but I think only inhuman
things would do that even to beggars.
Later on, there are people
from Thailand. These people isn't that much different from Indonesian
people. They tend to spend their time lurking around with their own
fellowship. Ted is the one who spend his time alot with these people.
But Ted is somekind of drunk seekers too, I find it out not long after
a few feast. Ted got a principle to get afriend with anyone, good or
bad. This principle is not bad, but in the reality he became somekind
of what a politician do, he lies alot. There's this time when the
fellowship from Indonesia spend the whole night until the morning at
karaoke place to celebrate one's birthday. When we got home, Ted's
friends ask about his whereabouts and he lied. I got the impression
that Ted feel that what we do all night to celebrate one's birthday is
wrong. Even when we spend the night at seniors' house to celebrate
one's birthday, he also tends to lie. It's just like what politicians
do when there's somekind of election, but I don't even know what kind
of election is that.
When one semester is over, I got an award
for something. I don't think I deserved for it because I'm still a
novice in my language skill, that's why I tend to give the award to a
friend that help me in a way that he always talk to me, that guy is
from Laos. I kind of force him to accept it, but after all he always
better at talking. But Ted and the fellowship from Thailand seems not
satisfied with this in a way. They always questioned why I got this
award and even brought the seniors to this matter. I'm not the one that
have information about this award, so why bother asking to me, I just
have opinions that's not really relevant with this matter. And when I
started to avoid him, he starts various rumors about me and when he met
me he said "Are you suicidal, sorry just joking". My impression with
Ted is a power seeker, he tends to do a black campaign. He'll do
everything to make himself appear as what everybody want to see, even
that means he'll sacrifice his fellowship.
And there's Leo. He's
a playboy, no doubt at that. He's dating girls, like drinking, go
around every corner of the city. There's not much of him, but he made a
mistake when dating girls. He tries to make two girl as his girlfriend
without making these two know his intention. One of the girl know his
action because Puff told her. Puff's reason is he don't want his sister
share the same fate as the girl, but the action Puff do afterwards
doesn't share the same idealism.
And there's this religious
Arabian that comes from one of the holy city for Moslems or Christians.
At first he study very hard because he told me that he don't have the
chance at his own country. Days after days his language skill is not
improving much. Then he began to do something out of the ordinary. He
met a hooker from internet chatting. He went to Hongkong to meet her
and he do the thing you know what more than once. When he went back to
the dormitory, he complain that his reproduction organ is hurt for
doing you know what too much with the hooker. He even show me the photo
in his handphone which consist of the picture between him and the
hooker. And at another occasion, he told me that he and Ted went to a
place where they met a beautiful hooker. He said that hooker has a
pretty face, but the body is nothing. He even said that Ted did you
know what first to the hooker, then he did the hooker afterwards. And
he told me about it. My impression, this is the transformation from
religious being to something I don't even imagine before.
And
there's these Vietnamese. My first impression is I should avoid them
for various reasons. First reason is the same reason why I avoid black
coloured skin people, they are drunk seekers. The second reason is they
like barbeque. There are no harm with barbeque, but it's believed that
black burnt mark from barbeque trigger cancer cell. I avoid barbeque
because I avoid cancer. Third reason is because they kind of remind me
of motorcycle gang. There are no harm with motorcycle gang, until they
make troubles. Some of them ask a girl that already have boyfriend to
be his girlfriend, some of them group at outside dormitory and just sit
around the public area, etc.
And there's Puff. He was a member
of motorcycle gang before, and I'm not sure if he still a member of it.
He kind of already make a confession that he had done a criminal
activity before. He snatched a purse from a lady that's walking on the
streets and ran with the purse. He used a motorcycle that was rode by
his other crimininal friend. The way he told the story was somekind
excites him. He also told that he did that because of the pumping
heartbeats when he did that. Puff also got a girlfriend in Indonesia,
chase after other girls at dormitory, finally got a Chinese. He took
the Chinese girl back at dormitory and slept with her at the same room
as I did, the girl walking around with no pants in the morning (I don't
know what Puff think about his sister fate when he did that, because he
definitely think about his sister fate when Leo did that). He also did
a vandalism. He broke an ornament of a giant dragon head that is big
and very heavy. The ornament injured his leg and he ran away. When the
incident happened, my fellowship that consists of students from various
country was also there. My fellowship was detained for what Puff did
for almost an hour. We didn't say a word to the official because we are
guests from another university and we thought this incident would be
disastrous if we told the truth. And in one occasion, I think he's the
one responsible for stealing my money, we'll get to that later on.
And
there's the school people which are called teachers. There're alot
happened with the so called teachers. At first, the students protest
about the study material that kind of weird. It's between beginner
class and intermediate class. The material of beginner class is half to
easy for most of the class, and half of it is some kind suitable for
them. The material of intermediate class is half suitable for them and
half of it is too hard for most of the class. The student ask if there
is somekind of a class which can be opened, which is consists of only
the suitable material for them. The school stay on its foot with the
unsuitable classes. Maybe some of us think about going half here half
there, but the schedule just not fit, and the room isn't adequate to
place two class at the same time. So there are times where the room is
empty with just a few people. I go along with the school people and
stay in the empty classroom. These days I'm befriend with a girl
because he stay in the empty classroom too. She kind of excellent in
Chinese language, maybe because she's Japanese, and the language
between both of them have many similarities, so I kind of depend on
her. And the rumors start spreading, that she is my girlfriend, which
is not. If because one depend on the others consider as that kind of
relationship, I would have alot of older girlfriend (teachers come
first in my mind). I already explain to anyone that ask me about this,
and they all said "Yeah, right". The Japanese girl already had
boyfriend in her hometown, and everybody think I want to be her second
boyfriend. I'm with her because of her excellency in the language and I
have no intention to walk away from my path of study. One thing that
makes me disappoint with the teachers are they're also into this. There
are one time that this girl doesn't come to school and the first thing
came across the teachers is I have something to do with it. The tone
they have isn't questioning tones, but accusing tones (it's obvious
because doesn't come to school have many reasons). That experience left
me the impression that this school people which are called teachers are
not motivator to teach, they just some gossipers and rumors spreaders
that give study material under the cloak of the teachers profession. If
going to school is to learn how to gossip and spread rumors instead of
studying, then I don't want to be a part of it.
And there's the
dormitory people. At first they stick to the rules, later on they
became somewhat not appropriate. There's this one time when people from
Indonesia held this party with alcoholics at the dormitory, invites
several people from outside dormitory, men and women. The party held
until past midnight, without dormitory people intervention, even the
teachers who lived at the dormitory are not able to stop the party.
Even after the party is over, there are several people from outside
dormitory that stayed in the dormitory. Several people even smuggling
women to their own rooms (like Puff's Chinese girlfriend and there are
others). There were also times where several people going home past
midnight, they're either open the dormitory key, call someone to open
the window from the inside and climb up to the window, etc. These
incidents still happened even the dormitory already got security camera
installed all over the dormitory, so I don't think the dormitory didn't
know about this. Maybe they have somekind of business from smuggling
people inside the dormitory, I wonder what kind of business. At first I
think thats someone else's business and I'm not a part of it, until one
occasion happen to me. I was called by my Laos friend to play in his
room. I don't know what's his intention but everytime I ask for a leave
to go back to my own dormitory which is at another building, he's kind
of holding me. And finally the time comes when the dormitory door
locked. I kind of have a feeling that something might happen, so I
decide to jump out from the window. The window itself got kind of 3-4
metres height. The next morning the dormitory people asked if I stayed
a night in the dormitory. My impression is they kind of planning to
lock me up in the dormitory for some reason. There are other dormitory
guy who said that they do this to ask for fined money. Who knows. And
there's one time when people from dormitory scheming something again
they kind of guard the first and second floor. I break the glass from
the third floor, in case there are something happen, so I can somehow
struggled for my survival. Maybe they think I dare to jump from first
or second floor, but the third floor is not an option for me. Whether
I'll jump or not is not really thinkable at that time, but a person
with glass shards near a balcony would make people think twice to mess
with. I clean up the glass with my bare hands to see the situation and
there are nothing that particularly happen afterwards, but the
dormitory people fined me for the glass I broke. Is the dormitory
people scheme something to collect money? Is that the way they got
money from? I just have the impression that the dormitory people are
scheming something.
And there's this occasion that I consider as
criminal activity. The occasion began when the first semester has
finished. The dormitory somehow manipulate the amount of money that
should be paid to stay during the holiday. At one time they said A,
tomorrow they said B, the next day they said C. I kind of get mad with
their attitude, so I decided to leave the dormitory. I lived in my
family house at the same city but I never intend to live there before.
When I unpacked my things, I realized that some of my money is gone (I
packed my money into different places, kind of traveler things). I
rechecked my baggage again and it's gone. Several things come across my
mind, did I left it at the dormitory when packing, did I drop it, did
someone opened my baggage, or did someone stole it? Bottom line, the
money has gone and I have to live with that. So I lived with the amount
of money I have. So I just lived my life and move on. My money is still
sufficient to live and continue my study at language. And the life goes
on, and on until one day I discover something that really disturbing.
Puff who is my roommate went to Hongkong to do something, so I decided
to clean up the room. When I clean up the room, I found my lost money,
complete with my notes about its serial number. This is kind of
involved something with timeline so I'll describe this with flashback.
The
room is somehow divided into three individual bed, I already mentioned
before that my roommates is Puff and Ted. Ted was moving to another
university after the first semester, leaving Puff and myself. The
dormitory somehow did somekind of manipulation maneuver, so I got out
of the dormitory. I got back at the second semester and lived at the
same room, but my bed is kind of switched with Puff. I didn't know the
reason but Puff insists to take the bed I previously occupied. I gave
up my previous bed and choose another one. So we got one extra spot,
because the room was intended to be placed by three person. Puff make
some layout changing with the room, picking some furniture to his
place, and placed the leftovers somewhere else inside the room. He
unpacked his things, because he also not staying in that room during
the holiday. Later he also used the leftovers furniture to put his
things. Then one day Puff got something and went to Hongkong. I clean
up the room and found my lost money inside the extra furniture. Puff
wasn't using the the whole part of the extra furniture, so I decided to
clean up there. It's a cabinet that have three parts, upper, middle,
and bottom. The middle part is kind of exposed. The upper part and
bottom part have its own doors. He's not using the bottom part and it's
not locked anyway. So then I found my lost money and feel really
disturbed. I thought that moment, he have all the time to redecorated
the room, choosing his furniture, and not realized the money is there
and not even say a word. The very same furniture is originally placed
at the same spot as his bed, so he should already checked that
furniture.
I don't know what I felt at that moment, but I try to
deal with it by consulting this matter to someone I know won't make
things worse that it already has. I told Puff about this matter and he
just said he know nothing about it. I lost my mind that day but I know
that I should forgive anyone because I'm a Buddhist and know the karma
works on its own. I always try to forgive him, but his attitude still
shows nothing about this matter. He even told something to everyone
that making me as a swindler. I still try to forgive him no matter what
happened because I really believe karma works on its own. And that just
when my days got worse and worse. Right now I believe I have met evil
with no remorse.
Days by days got worse, but I try to live with
it just by my faith. I actually decided to tell the school official
about this matter, and I think that's the moment when this matter
become international affair. I went back to Indonesia through Hongkong
and along the way I feel like I'm being terrorized. I plan to went back
to Hongkong to look for a job and somehow try to learn something about
accupuncture nearby. I still feel I'm being terrorized. At one occasion
there is someone tap my back. That time I'm using a backpack and I
definitely looked like a tourist no matter how you looked at me. I'm
waiting to cross the street, and someone asked something to me. The
chinese language itself have more than one meaning, and many
possibilities. The first possibility is asking for a supermarket. The
second possibility is asking for a place to seek trouble. The third
possibility is asking for a place to seek death. I just answer that
question with simple phrase that I don't know. But I still believe that
karma works on its own, and try to stay as long as I can to study there
especially accupuncture.
I
have no luck at Hongkong so I decided to went back to Indonesia and
find a job there. I got a job at one of remote place near the capital
city of Indonesia. When I first got there, I kind of want to ask local
people about a place to eat. The people answer that they don't know and
they aren't local people. The people I asked just sit idle in front of
a house that inside an alley. That's a very unlikely situation and it's
kind of late, so usually only local people around there. So I worked t
and at one opportunity I was sent to Malaysia by the company. Again I
feel somehow being terrorized by some people suddenly appear in front
of me. When I went back to Indonesia, there are even tragedy news about
one of my family members. One of my family member got hit by a public
transportation car that commonly used when she across the street. I
already have my suspicion about this. And then not long after, one of
my colleage at my workplace have an accident by a public transportation
car that commonly used. My colleage have broken skeleton and had to
deal with several operation back then. What the odds that an accident
of public transportation car that commonly used can happen with one
family member and one colleage at workplace? Finally I sent some email
to authorities about a possible international terrorists organization,
and perhaps with the loads of email I sent, any weird accidental
sightings seems to ceased.
Is my experience shows that
people shouldn't forgive everyone? Do I have to protect my family and
friends by hurting other people? There are times when I feel to put
away my faith and just join to be a devil myself. Is that a normal
thing to become a devil and it's not normal to forgive each other? Are
people really tends to make each other an evil? I really don't know the
answer of that question.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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