Brokenness in Marriage.
I. Introduction:
Marriages were meant to be final and forever until one or both partners die.
How can two distinct individuals live harmoniously together forever? This would
be pure utopia without brokenness. When we face disillusionments, we submerge
into denial. When that false concept that marriage is always milk and honey
starts to disappear, the general tendency is usually to rage, defend our self
and denounce our spouse when they accuse us falsely. This three-page paper will
define brokenness, show how God uses it and defend its relevance in marriage. If
a couple is broken, they will enjoy a better marriage. So, what then is
brokenness?

II. Definition:
Brokenness is a process in which our inward attitude is full of remorse for
sins. Our rightness or wrongness to God will determine how we treat our spouses
and other people because if we do not love man we see, we cannot pretend to love
God we do not see. The question now is, “how does God use brokenness”.

III. How does God use Brokenness?
It is incomprehensible why God allows difficult situations in the life of His
child. God uses affliction in our lives to break us (Deut 8:3; Ps 78:24). When
artificial things leave us empty and dissatisfied we turn to commit to God more.
God uses future kismet s to break couples (2 Chr 12:5-12; Psalm 34:18). Since
humans cannot cope with doom, it forces them to humble themselves and recognize
God’s justice in punishing them.
Looking at Christ’s example, a couple desires to be broken so they could look
like their Master. God uses Christ’s brokenness to teach couples brokenness (Mt
11:29; Jn 13:15; Eph 4:20; Philippians 2:5-8; I Pet 2:21).
God uses a couple’s sinfulness to break them (Lk 18:13, 14). By individuals
sinning, they realize they are not better than their spouses. There is nothing
that will help a person to be broken better than when they see their own
unworthiness (Lk 15: 17-21). Several times God uses the limitations of couples
to break them (I Kings 3:6-14). When they understand they have limitations they
treat each other with much consideration.
Man is a sinful being striving for holiness (IS 6: 1-8). As partners compare
their holiness with Christ’s, they quickly see their shortcomings in delivering
the message of the cross. The more they know God, the more they see the
impossibility in doing anything like marriage of lasting value without Him. By
considering that we are righteous by grace and not by works, the individual is
broken to admit they are not surviving due to their own credentials (Phil
3:4-7). Therefore, brokenness is very relevant in marriage.

IV. Relevance of Brokenness in Marriage
In brokenness, we will be slow to anger but quick to forgive. Brokenness is
very important in marriage because “the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a
broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Ps 51:17). God truly
honors us when we are broken because it becomes a form of worship (Is 1:12-13).
Jesus amplified it when he said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is
the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 5:3).
If a couple is broken, they will bring more honor to God and to their marriage
(I Kings 3:11-14).When they seek first the kingdom of God and it righteousness,
all other things (including a better marriage) they are seeking for, will be
added (Mt 6:33). By being submissive to God, they become very attentive to him
(Lk 10:39). This attention gives them wisdom in coping with misfortunes and the
malaises in their marriage.
Brokenness leads to riches, honor and long life (Prov 22:4). It brings
blessing in a marriage and in life (2 Chr 7: 14-15). As such, every couple needs
to be broken.
Brokenness will warrant us exaltation (James 4:10). When we are broken, we
realize we are worthless before God.
Brokenness is relevant because it insures us God’s presence (Is 57:15). We
need the presence of God as preserver and protector of marriages. If a couple is
truly broken, it will make them great because if pride precedes a fall,
brokenness precedes greatness (Mat 18:4). That is the Lord’s recipe for the meal
of greatness. Finally, brokenness is relevant because it unlocks more grace
(Prov 3:34; James 4:6).

V. Conclusion:
Thus, though one could be well broken it does not mean all will be fine
in their life. God may be using their brokenness according to His timing, which
at times seem like He is late. But those who have experienced brokenness, though
did not like it and still do not like it can attest it is the best of processes
to cultivate in any couple’s live if they want a better and successful marriage.
Each couple should strive to be broken as much as they could so that they can
stay in sync with God. Brokenness does not necessitate someone’s outward
intervention but a surrender of our will and desire to do things by and for
ourselves. When couples know they are limited and constantly fall short of
verdures that conglomerate to a greater touch with the Almighty, they will be
broken.

Prince and PA Hamilton Ayuk



"Life is like a mysterious highway. At times we bypass those who would have made
us happy on the other side of the road either because of our hyperopia or
myopia" (Hamilton Ayuk).




























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