Hey Wayne

Most church singles groups, regardless of the target age, remind me of the bar scene but with a big “Christian” stamp on it.  

As far as “older”... I’m only 31 :-)

Danielle LaFleur

Sorry, I didn't know how else to phrase it.  ;-)

Yeah, this question is mainly directed toward those who consider
themselves among the "older" aged singles... though I don't really
want to specify an actual age.  I guess you can decide for yourself
if this applies to you.  But definitely if you've been divorced or
widowed, or especially if you're a single parent, this applies to
you.

Do you feel uncomfortable in a singles group at a church where most
of the people in the group are in the 20-something-career-driven-
never-married category?  We're talking about a group of people, many
of whom are fresh out of college, just getting started with their
career or still figuring out what they want to do in life, probably
would like to get married someday but aren't in any rush and have
not yet reached the "everyone else is getting married, when is it my
turn" stage.  A lot of them actively serve in the church and other
volunteer ministries, they're involved in weekly Bible studies, and
for fun they like to go hiking and camping or hang out at the beach,
get together and play volleyball, and eat together afterwards at
restaurants like Red Robin or TGI Fridays.  They're very friendly
and welcoming toward newcomers of any age, race, or social status,
and if a new person doesn't feel like they fit in, it's not because
the group intentionally is making the person feel left out, but
because they just don't know how to reach out to that person.

The reason I ask is because I'm starting to see this happening in
the singles group that I'm in.  I've recently begun to make it my
own personal agenda to pay attention to anybody who might be looking
to our group as a place to make friends but aren't quite fitting
in.  Our group targets "singles aged 24-35", but we're not strict
about the age range, and we still welcome singles who may be outside
that range.  There used to be another group at our church for
singles over 33, but it no longer exists, and the pastor of our
group sees it as all the more reason why we should open our group to
older singles who are looking for a group to belong to.  I'm just
wondering how successful our group would be in providing a place for
older singles to develop friendships, when our group is geared
toward singles in their 20's.

At age 33, I typically don't mind hanging out with people in their
early 20's, but that's mainly because I don't feel too far removed
from their stage of life.  I was in their stage of life not too long
ago, and they'll likely be where I'm at in a few years.

--Wayne