Thought I'd see if anybody still reads this
board.... Here are some "Real Men" Jokes for you "Real Men"
out there!<br><br><br>1. How many men does it take to
open a beer?<br>None. It should be opened by the time
she brings it.<br><br><br>2. Why do women have
smaller feet than men?<br>It’s one of those “evolutionary
things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen
sink.<br><br><br>3. How do you know when a woman is about to say
something smart? When she starts her sentence with “A man
once told me...”<br><br><br>4. How do you fix a
woman’s watch?<br>You don’t. There is a clock on the
oven.<br><br><br>5. Why do men break wind more than women?<br>Because
women can’t shut up long enough to build up the
required pressure.<br><br><br>6. If your dog is barking at
the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course.
He’ll shut up once you let him in.<br><br><br>7. What’s
worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?<br>A woman who won’t
do what she’s told.<br><br><br>8. I married Miss
Right. I just didn’t know her first name was
Always.<br><br><br>9. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months: I
don’t like to interrupt her.<br><br><br>10. Scientists
have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex
drive by 90%. It’s called a Wedding
Cake.<br><br><br>11. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me
“What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”<br><br><br>12. Why do
men die before their wives? They want
to.<br><br><br>13. Young Son: “Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he
marries her?”<br>Dad: That happens in every country,
son.<br><br><br>14. A man inserted an advertisement in the
classified:<br>Wife Wanted.” The next day he received a hundred
letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have
mine.”<br><br><br>15. The most effective way to remember your wife’s
birthday is to forget it once.<br><br><br>16. Women will
never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are beautiful.