A UNC grad is driving home from work when his cell
phone rings. "Hi, honey", says his wife,
"I was just listening to the traffic report on the radio.
There's some lunatic driving the wrong way on the
freeway, so be careful!" The UNC grad replies...
Updated frequently during the day!!!
Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
A UNC grad moved to the country and bought a piece of land.
He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the
proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming.
He then asked to buy 100 chicks...
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related
to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
Click on above for great riddles!!!
Finding The Father
Often it was the highlight of my day. My wife led me to believe that it might have
been the highlight of our toddler son's day, too. She told me that the little guy heard my
car pull into the driveway each night and that was his signal to go running for the door
that I always used. As I opened that door, I was often greeted by a cute little guy charging
and calling out one word at the top of his lungs, "DA!" He couldn't manage
"Daddy" or "Dada" yet, but I knew he was calling my name.
My son went to the door looking for his father and there I was. Tragically, so many
people have gone to the door looking for a real father, and no one was there. Or the man
who was there hardly lived up to that word "father." We live in a world where more and
more people are living with a "daddy deficit" down deep in their heart because of the
father they needed but never had.
When your father wasn't really there or wasn't really a father, you carry around inside
you needs that really drive you for your whole life. Many people have done many things -
even made many mistakes - trying to get the approval their father never gave them; the
security he never gave them - or the love. Some research shows that the second most
common reason young women become sexually active is because they're looking for
that missing father-love. When your dad didn't do what he was supposed to do for you,
you carry around not only deep needs, but sometimes deep anger and bitterness that
can spill out on others you love.
The truth is that we're all wired for a loving relationship with a father. But ultimately
it's not a human father that is the one who can meet our deepest needs. That's why even
those who've had a great father still have a "daddy deficit."
Because we're lonely for our
Father in heaven; the God from whom we come. Earthly dads have the responsibility of
being a reflection of our Heavenly Father, but no dad can take His place.
In our word for today from the Word of God, Jesus told a story that reveals why we're
all missing the Father we were made for and how we can finally find Him. In Luke 15,
beginning with verse 13, Jesus tells about a son who asked for his inheritance early,
another country and "squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had 'spent
everything,'" the Bible says, "a famine hit and he began to be in need." He ended up
working with some pigs and starving. The Bible says, "When he came to his senses,
he said ... I will ... go back to my father and say to him: 'Father, I have sinned against
heaven and against you.'" And "he got up and went to his father." His dad welcomed
him home and he showered him with love.
That's what God wants to do for you.
The Bible makes it clear that we are separated
from the Father we were made for; not by His choice, but by ours. We've taken the life
He gave us and we've lived it our way instead of His way. In essence, we've squandered
the life He gave us and we've "spent everything" trying to find out what's missing. And
all the time, it's God we're missing. But God loves you too much to lose you. He sent
His one and only Son, Jesus
Christ, to bring you home - at an unspeakable cost. The
only way to remove the sin and the eternal death penalty that makes a relationship with
God impossible was for Jesus to die in our place. And He did, for you, for me, for so many.
We found our Father when we put all our hope in Jesus to bring us home. He said,
"No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6). The approval, the security,
the love that's eluded you all these years; they can only be found in the arms of the Father
you came from - your Heavenly Father. And finally, after all this searching and disappointment,
you can do what this runaway son did. Tell God, "I have sinned against You, but I want to come
home. I'm trusting your Son and His death for me as my way to You." What will He do? He will
run to meet you. He's been waiting for you for a long time.
If you want to belong to the Father you were made for, I'd welcome the opportunity to help
you be sure you do. At our website, I've got something for you to read or listen
to; it's called
Yours For Life and it will help you begin your personal love relationship with God. Or if you'd
rather get Yours For Life in printed form, just call and ask for it at 877-741-1200.*
You don't ever again have to go looking for your Father and find no one there. God is the
Father you've always wanted, and He will never let you down. He will never let you go.
- - Ron Hutchcraft
*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
The Da Vinci Hoax
A Tour de Distortion
G. K. Chesterton famously said something to this effect: When people stop
believing in God, they don't believe in nothingthey believe in anything. A
good example of this is Umberto Eco's novel Foucault's Pendulum, in which
a group of friends program a computer to "write" a book about secret hidden
knowledge. Titled The Plan, the book is the result of random links between
things like Kabbalah, Rosicrucianism, the Knights Templar, and other
crackpot ideas. While The Plan was intended as a prank, other people
take it seriously, with tragic results.
Well, Foucault's Pendulum shows us how gullible
unbelieving people are.
And this is particularly so in our postmodern age when truth doesn't matter.
This phenomenon partly explains the remarkable success of The Da Vinci Code.
Like Eco's novel, it's about a heretofore hidden knowledge that promises to
let us in on the "true" history of Christianity.
Author Dan Brown gives us a Jesus who neither died on the cross nor rose
from the dead. Instead, He married Mary Magdalene and had children by her.
This "sacred blood line" is the treasure safeguarded by groups like the
Knights Templar and the Masons. And the Catholic Church, in a desperate
attempt to cover up this secret,
murders those who threaten to expose it.
Devotees of The Da Vinci Codelike the fictional fans in Foucault's
Pendulumhave trouble distinguishing fact from fiction. They visit places
mentioned in the novel, and "Da Vinci Tours" are a booming business. With
the upcoming film, interest in The Da Vinci Code will explode. Christians
need to seize this teaching opportunity, preparing ourselves to answer
questions readers are asking.
The first is: Are the historical events portrayed in Brown's story true?
Brown claims to have done extensive historical research and gives his
readers no reason to doubt the novel's accuracy. Since the average person
knows almost nothing about Christian history, they're vulnerable. For
example, when Brown says that Knights Templar were put to death by the
Catholic Church because they knew the "true story" about Jesus, people have
no basis to question it, never having
heard of the Knights Templar. Or when
Brown says that at the Council of Nicea, the Vatican consolidated its power,
most people are unaware that the Vatican didn't even exist in A.D. 325.
It is our job to expose the falsehoods. We can learn to answer Brown's lies
with the truth by reading books like Darrell Bock's Breaking the Da Vinci
Code and Erwin Lutzer's The Da Vinci Deception.
People flock to stories like The Da Vinci Code in part because all humans
are searching for the secret knowledge that answers the mysteries of life.
And when The Da Vinci Code debuts in May, millions more Americans will
get a condensed tour de
distortion. Knowing our neighbors will see this film,
churches ought to begin to get ready nowpreparing to answer questions
about it and to tell our neighbors that there is no secret knowledge about God.
It's all in the Bible and all true.
The good news is that The Da Vinci Code readers and viewers are seeking
answers to the central questions of life. The challenge is for us to supply
the true answers. BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley
Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
I found myself sighing with something like relief one day after reading a
comment made by C.S. Lewis. He was responding to a statement made by
a scholar who noted that he didn't "care for" the Sermon on the Mount but
"preferred" the Pauline ethics. As you can imagine, Lewis was bothered
at the suggestion of Scripture alternatives between which we may choose,
and it was this that he addressed first. But his response also included a
striking remark about the Sermon on the Mount, and this is what caught
my attention. Said Lewis, "As to 'caring for' the Sermon on the Mount, if
'caring for' here means liking or enjoying, I suppose no one cares for it.
Who can like being knocked flat on his face by a sledgehammer?
I can hardly imagine a more deadly spiritual condition than that of
the man who can read that passage with tranquil pleasure. This is
indeed to be 'at ease in Zion.'"
To be "at ease in Zion" was the deplorable state of existence the prophet
Amos spoke of in his harsh words to the Israelites. Reeling in false
security and erroneous confidence from their economic affluence and
self-indulgent lifestyles, the Israelites, Amos warned, would be the first
God would send into exile if they failed to heed his words.
The Sermon on the Mount is equally startling. Lewis's comparison of
Christ's words to a sledgehammer is not far off. Those potent chapters
are not unlike the electric paddles used to shock the heart back to life,
back to the rhythm it was intended to have.
The Sermon on the Mount is like the keynote address for the kingdom Christ
came to introduce, the kingdom God wanted us to see badly enough that He
was willing to send his Son to show
us. On that mountainside, Jesus
points out many of the mountains that blur our vision. He reminds us that
we are not seeing as he sees, not grasping reality as it really is.
"You have heard that it was so." he says again and again, "but I tell you."
His words are hard and thorough, and even the simplest of phrases is
permeated with the profound glory of a kingdom wee see in part but ache to
know in fullness:
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God (Matthew 5:8).
Perhaps I have become at ease in Zion if I can read these words without
wondering if I am among the blessed. When I lose sight of the kingdom
behind the haze of selfish ambition, guilt, or fear, Christ's words become
like a foghorn calling me to set my eyes on the one I follow and live up to
the hope I embody: "You are the
salt of the earth. But if the salt loses
its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for
anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men" (5:13). When I
find myself making demands of God I am shown again just how much He
demands of me: "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and
throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for
your whole body to be thrown into hell" (5:29).
For the crowds that gathered that day on the hillside, Jesus's words were
equally demanding. If God's commandments were difficult before this
sermon, they were now terrifying. Who can stand in the kingdom Jesus
describes? And how is this good news? And yet, in all of His
wisdom, in His unfathomable love, in the middle of His sermon Jesus
proclaims gently but confidently, "Do not worry." It is as if He says to
those trembling with
the fear of certain failure, "It is my life that
makes all things possible." This, He says again at the point of the Cross.
The Sermon on the Mount is a concentrated example of how Jesus lays
down the law of God, even as He came to fulfill it. It is clear that He Jill Carattini
expects us to build the houses of our lives upon His words, and He adds
that only those who do so are wise and will be safe. His life cries out
to all who are at ease in Zion, weary from self-indulgence, unaware of God
at work among us, and in this His role is uncompromisable. He is both Lord
to be obeyed andSsavior to bestow the possibility.
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
them to ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not
with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it
out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why
this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin
responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,
they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
reluctantly." - Joe Boot
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor.
They usually get it backwards.......
God designed humans to
want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.
- - Chuck Colson
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God bless you,