[Really Good Quotes A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes] You can read this same issue in aMessage 1 of 1 , Apr 2, 2009View Source
In case you hadn't noticed, Wednesday's issue got hijacked. As far as I can tell there wasn't any truth to be found in it!
I'm hot on the trail of the conspirators and think I have them identified. I won't let that happen again. Unless of course April Fools Day happens to fall on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday.
Hope everyone got a kick out of it. The really good news is that Faithy is back!! We've missed her and were finally able to lure her back.
Now back to our normal format for another year.
I am one of those lazy computer users. I tend to just leave my computer on all the time. Part of the reason is the fact that my computer is so slow to boot up. As I mentioned in an earlier issue this old computer has some problems so it's just easier to leave it on.
At work I usually leave my computer on all week, but I shut it down on Friday evening to save some power over the weekend. As it turns out I may be saving my employer more money than I thought.
I ran across an article at Yahoo Tech that claims that turning computers off at night could save as much as $2.8 billion in the U.S. alone.
They go on to say, "On a CO2 basis, that's 20 million tons of carbon dioxide, about the amount produced by 4 million cars on the road."
"But big numbers like that become almost meaningless in an era of trillion-dollar bailouts, so to put the wasted energy in perspective, the study provides the data in terms you can better understand: If you run a company with 1,000 PCs left on overnight, you can save about $28,000 a year if they are turned off after hours. That's not chump change."
It is also estimated that the cost in the UK is nearer £300 million and 918 million in Germany. Links to full reports can be found here.
Do you leave your computer on overnight? Will this make you rethink your habits? Isn't this a really easy way for companies to save a considerable amount of money? Will you mention this at work? Does this make you wonder about how much other electronic devices in your home are costing you in wasted energy?
Isn't it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ in your mailbox? Please click the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@....
"Communism is like one big phone company." - Lenny Bruce
"It's a dangerous business going out your front door." - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Memo from a Loving Mom
Attention Children - The Bathroom Door is Closed!
Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions.Wait until I get out.
Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.
Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.
Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.
Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!"
Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.
Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.
Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.
If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.
And yes, I still love you.
"A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew."
"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."
"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around." all from Herb Caen, American newspaper columnist, born April 3, 1916
Fun With Drunks
Here's the opening line in an article in the UK's Telegraph. "Before blasting off for the International Space Station, Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata said he was looking forward to carrying out the missions for which he had trained for several years."
Wow! Missions in space it conjures up visions of galactic battles to save the earth; landing on the moons of Saturn to evacuate a mining colony; bringing emergency supplies of water ice from the asteroid belt to the Martian colonies. It could be the Army Corps of Engineers on missions to Near Earth Objects (NEO's) to implant nuclear powered plasma engines to modify their orbits. Space cowboys to the rescue!
One of these missions for which he trained several years is wearing underpants. In fact, although Wakata is classified as a flight engineer with the added responsibility of taking care of the external robotic arm, he's testing underwear. Since he won't be allowed to change skivvies more than once a week, he'll probably have to spend most of his time in a separate module.
Developed by researchers at the Japan Women's University and five clothing companies, the underwear is made of a material containing threads of antibacterial polymers that reduce the smells that build up in normal clothing. The clothes have been designed to absorb human sweat and other liquids, insulate the body and dry in a matter of minutes, according to the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency. They are also flame-resistant and the use of Velcro helps reduce the build-up of static, a key consideration for anyone working around electronic components. The inventors say nothing about the skivvies handle solid material, if at all.
Currently, astronauts are required to change every three days and dispose of their garments. There's no extra water for washing. This new underwear keeps you from smelling too bad, but I presume it will still get dirty. After a week, there's no chance an astronaut can put their skivvies on backwards, it's a matter of "yellow stains in front, brown stains in back."
NASA and the rest of the world's space agencies are talking about missions that eventually last for months and even years. Hauling supplies will be critical there will be extremely limited room for things beyond fuel, food, and oxygen. Hauling enough clothes for weekly changes will take up a lot of space, so why not just fly naked?
If underwear will be needed when wearing a space suit, why not manufacture it from plant material from their hydroponic farm, and recycle it back into the farm when they're done with it? If flying naked is not an option, a flight suit without skivvies will protect the modesty challenged, and save on toilet tissue to boot. Astronauts could take a page from Bubba and his buddies here in the south. Bubba says, "Real men don't wear skivvies. Real men don't wipe. We just tighten the straps on our bib overalls and do deep knee bends."
The Bad Sied
Speak right up!
When times are good, disposable income (a concept I never truly understood) is more plentiful. When the economy falters, the quickest cuts to make in the family budget are costly hobbies.
Many couples and families adopted camping as a hobby. Weekends are spent away from home in tents, campers and motor homes. Of course all the paraphernalia for cooking, sleeping and entertainment while away has to be purchased, and replacements for consumables and attrition continue.
Sports are often a focus for younger people. In order to play, one has to have the equipment necessary, plus some training materials. Uniforms and sportswear only begin the process. Balls, racquets, bats, helmets, shoes, and a wide range of supportive equipment are required, plus something to put them in. Add in the "pay to play" fees.
Tethered and radio-controlled cars, airplanes, and boats are quite popular. The kits to build the unit itself are often quite costly. Again, the associated support equipment and materials just increases the overall cost. Simple scale model kits are cheaper, but they end up being displayed since they are not functional. (Be careful when clicking links to modeling!)
Racing, drag racing and speedway racing, has quite a following. There is very little cost as a fan or spectator, but to be a participant can make this one of the most costly hobbies. The vehicle has to be purchased. Then, the vehicle has to meet whatever criteria the race site or organization demands for safety or fairness.
Hiking, biking, geocaching, bowling, paintball, knitting, quilting, and many other hobbies have their own unique expenses. The similarities are that they require a specific component of base supplies or equipment just like the other hobbies do. Some even include a hefty amount of consumable costs. For example, in bowling, there's all that beer for "beer frames".
Here's your quiz:
Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?
Have you had to adjust your hobbies, either changing to a different one, or adjusting how often you participate?
If cost wasn't a factor, what would be your ultimate hobby?
What hobby did you hear about that you would like to do, but just couldn't participate, for one reason or another?
Who do you share your hobby with? Family? Friends? People you didn't know until you started? Alone?
Hobbies - Wasting Time In Fun Ways
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn't rate a fancy 'signature pic')
Kirsten was having some storms in her area and couldn't write today. She'll be back on Monday. Here's an article from the archives.
Childhood obesity is best tackled at home through improved parental involvement, increased physical exercise, better diet and restraint from eating.
~ Bob Filner ~
Yesterday I took my kids to McDonalds. They each got a grilled cheese sandwich and some juice, and they split a small order of fries. As always when I'm feeding my kids stuff like this, I was wracked with guilt at what I was allowing them to put into their bodies. I mean, we all know that fried foods - particularly from places like McDonalds - are loaded with trans fats and all sorts of other evils.
I realise that I probably shouldn't feel too guilty. For the most part, my kids have balanced diets. They get all of their essential vitamins and minerals, they eat enough servings of grains and vegetables, and junk food is an occasional treat. Still, I am mindful of the fact that one in four Canadian kids is medically obese. Some of them are developing heart disease at alarmingly young ages. There is increasing evidence that there is no safe amount of trans fats - every little bit that goes into my kids' bodies could be doing them harm.
Not long ago, the Ontario government started a campaign to help kids eat more healthily. Their first step was to ban junk food from elementary school vending machines; with time, this will be extended to high schools. In December, legislation was introduced to ban trans fats from all school cafeterias and vending machines.
With food in schools taken care of, legislation is now being proposed to target other areas of a kid's life. The legislation would ban all food advertising aimed at kids under the age of thirteen. We all know that the media can exert tremendous influence over what people - particularly young people - choose to do. Parents all over the world have seen the phenomenon of kids seeing something on TV and "having to have it", even though they've survived perfectly well without it up until that point.
I do not have a problem with this proposed legislation, except that it would also target advertising of healthy stuff. The proponent answers this concern by saying that parents will be able to help their kids make informed decisions. This statement really aggravates me, for the simple reason that parents should be doing this anyway. Whether something is advertised or not, kids are going to want stuff that they shouldn't get. Most ten-year-olds are not going to just hop into the family car and drive down to the nearest grocery store to get the latest junk food craze. They are going to ask Mom and Dad to get it for them, and it's up to Mom and Dad to say no. This should be the case whether the product is advertised or not.
I question why this proposed legislation stops at age thirteen. The implication appears to be that people suddenly develop wisdom and common sense on their thirteenth birthdays. A teenager with common sense is about as common as a cow with wings.
I am not opposed to legislation that would help our kids embrace healthy lifestyles. But we can legislate until the cows come home, and that still won't be a substitute for parental guidance.
Faithy's Freaky Sites (and free downloads)
Did you like our little April fools day Prank. What a day for a come back, Eh?
Though no one wrote me, so maybe I shouldn't have done it. Oh well, your problem, not mine, Mawahahahahaha
Well here's to the Best of April Fools 2009
This guy picked my favs, like YouTube and Google's Cadie
And Huffington Picks, David Letterman's GOP Ad
(and were you scared when Craig Ferguson seemed to vanish?)
And then there is TechCrunch, who took it all a little personally, if you ask me.
No Follin, it's,
With another load of _ _ _ _
Okay, so April 1st came and went and Conficker didn't destroy the universe... yet. It did try to update, as I said it would. So what happened?
The simple answer is that Conficker tried to "phone home", but no one answered. That is, Conficker.C is configured to visit a website to get new "instructions". Most likely, those new instructions will enable it to be stealthier and able to spread differently. It is possible that the criminals behind this could give it instructions to wipe your hard drive, but that's unlikely. What they probably want to do is infect as many computers as they can.
Now, why would you infect all computers and not do anything with it? Well, you wouldn't. That takes a lot of effort, and these guys are good. They aren't going to waste their time, they're doing this so money can be made from it. They are going to do something, and my bet is it won't be good. They *are* criminals, after all.
So do you still have to worry? Well, yes and no. If you are running Windows and can do a Windows Update, then you probably aren't infected. If you can update your anti-virus, then you aren't infected, at least not with Conficker.
If you can't, I'd worry. I had a computer that got infected toward the end of March. I know this because that's when Windows Updates stopped working, AVG showed the last update on that date. I don't know how it got infected, but in order to find out, I had to remove the hard drive and place it in my "super-scanner" machine, replacing the CD-ROM. Before I put an infected hard drive in it, I update the heck out of every scanner I have, then unplug the network connection.
The scans on the new "SuperScanner" D: drive found the problem, I hope. I think it's okay, I put the drive back in the original machine, updated it, and left it to scan overnight. I'll know how much you have to worry in the morning.
Monday Morning, that is.
Having a Ball with a Weekend Off
Bring cheese to room temperature before melting. Melt cheese over a low heat to help prevent toughening and separation of oils and liquids.
I got some good response that time. I guess we need to do an April Fool issue more often!
Next opening line...
On Wednesday I really got fooled...
Hints: Here's a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There's also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
There once was a gullible fool
Who placed a bet in a pool
For a race that was past
On a horse that ran last
Actually, the horse was a mule. - Bonnie
There once was a gullible fool---
who sat there all day, dripping drool---
he was just so dumb
every day sucked his thumb
this was a man who needed some school. - Cassandra in New York
You accused us of being lazy
Personally, I think that's crazy
I know that at night
I haven't time to write
And during the day I've been busy. - E. Cole Aye
But now that I've gotten that protest
Off my proverbial chest
I'll see what I can do
To write a verse or two
So that you can feel less stressed. - E. Cole Aye
There once was a gullible fool
Who when I said "Grab your tool"
(I meant grab the hoe
So as to hoe a row)
He instead grabbed his family jewel. - E. Cole Aye
There once was a gullible fool
Who was conned to dive into a pool
The dive was a beauty
But the pool was empty
That trick turned out to be rather cruel. - E. Cole Aye
There once was a gullible fool
Was told his car ran on synfuel
So when he ran out
(Though he was devout)
Believed at the cathouse he'd refuel (synfuel - sin fuel) - E. Cole Aye
There once was a gullible fool
Who wished to partake in the gene pool
He'd put on tight Levis
To show ladies his prize
But they're so tight he had to retool. - Anne Onimous
There once was a gullible fool
Who thought that he was truly cool.
Though his bod was God's gift
His face got the short shrift
For from his mouth all day he would drool. - Anne Onimous
There once was a gullible fool
Who believed that guns were real cool
And 'the right to bear arms'
Was one of life's charms.
Now his children lie dead in their school. - Julian, England
An opening line with 'Peru'?
What am I expected to do?
I think this is weird
As it never appeared
In my issue of RGQ - Julian, England
That Tim is the very best writer
Unfortunately, not so good a fighter
He ran down the hall
And took a big fall
Couldn't you find anyone who is brighter? - Bonnie
I once had a dog named Rowdy,
I found him to be rather pouty.
One day I gave him a bone,
but I soon found him alone.I asked him, where is your bone?
But all he could do was moan.
After a good look around,
I saw his bone was no where to be found.
And after some simple deduction,
I found that it was now berried safely in the ground. - Patti and Tazz
Re: Font Colors
Well, the pink really smacked me in the face. Not fond of pink. The font color that bothers me the most, is yellow. I think I would have liked the green font better, if it had not been on a pink background. As a severely nearsighted person, the more contrast, the better. I'll stick with black and white. - L&K, herm
[Looks like we got a GOTCHA right here! - Cliff]
While all that color stuff may be just sillieness here is a useful link all about color and dislexia http://irlen.com/index.php?s=index - OLDBBD
[A t least one person saw the silliness of the the Apriil Fool Issue! *grin* - Cliff]
Patti's opening story the link (http://ors.duke.edu/research-with-human-subjects) actually goes to an article!
[Ah, yes, it did! Another way to throw you guys off a tad. APRIL FOOL! *giggling* - Cliff]
As for the section below I would like you to keep it cause you never know when a newbie will write in (or a regular subscriber for that matter) and it's a pleasant surprise when they do!
[Gotcha! *snicker* - Cliff]
I enjoy ya'lls writing very much, keep up the good work (and yes, I do believe it is WORK), I look forward to reading RGQ 3 times a week! - Dora in Denver
[Yes, it was all a ruse. It was April 1. We hope you liked the issue and could read it, despite all the various colors used by those others, those with the fonts that are less exacting :) - Patti, who made sure green was the best]
You said: Since it has been a while since there has been a submission to this section, we have been considering dropping it. How many many stories can you have about how you met your mate? How many dates from hell can you have before realizing you're going out with the wrong people? All my kids say now is "I want/need..."
But occasionally this part gets filled by Faithy, so we've come up with three options:
Dora says: 1: Keep it as it is, I don't mind the extra bandwidth it takes up.
[See snicker above. - Cliff (still laffin')]
Re: April Fools
That's mean! I was gonna post a comment but your April fools got me! LOL! I just haven't a clue which article is true, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was the one about Tim! He's a Cluts! heheehehhahahah! I can't laugh too much though, cause you just aint lived till you've thumb tacked your sock to your foot, and that's what I did on Monday evening, and if I can ever get to post a 15 minutes again after April fools is over I'll tell the story, and when the Readers Comments works again I'm gonna tell that stupid Yankee in New York what he can do with his comments, so if that weren't true, you'd best tell me now. He's a jerk for sure. - Patti and Tazz in South Carolina
[Thanks for coming to my defense Patti. As I mentioned before, pretty much everything in Wednesday's issue was just for fun. Of course, you may be right about Tim!]
I believe that the %100 true article is Patti's comment. Or it could have been the next opening line but then the rest was not %100 true, not that the line could be true. - Nathalie in Montreal
Re: Safety Warnings
Hi: Your opening comment... "I suspect our dependancy on living creatures for food will seem as barbaric to them as killing a mastodon with sticks and stones seems to us." seems out of place as far as the rest of the column goes. We've been killing and eating animals for as far back as you want to look. And, since it's a necessity ( we are omnivorous), I don't see that changing at all except to make it more efficient. As for enforcing the speed laws and enforcing helmet-wearing, it's now being proposed that recreational skiers wear them on the slopes. That might stop the odd concussion from occurring, but it's the skiers themselves who are the problem. They take stupid chances and they pay the price. One guy in B.C. actually went by a sign which clearly said that dangerous conditions existed beyond it and not to go any further. Of course, he went, and he died. So how does legislation deal with that? There is no cure for stupid.
Cars are now safer than at any other time in our history and folks are still killing themselves in droves. The problem is not the cars but us. We all, to some extent, suffer from the "it's not going to happen to me" syndrome. Think of all the people who insist on driving their snowmobiles over thin ice. Most if not all of them are wearing enough body protection to keep them safe in case of a crash, and their friend went over that same spot safely yesterday... too bad they never learned how to swim in ice-cold water... Some car crashes involve cars with so many safety devices that you wonder how they can't keep you safe; safety belts, six air-bags, safety seats for children, etc, etc, and they're still killing and maiming themselves and others in droves. Between now are the time this issue is mailed out, at least three people will have died in crashes because they insisted on using their car-phone while driving. The problem is not the highways, the cars, helmets, seat belts, more stringent rules, more enforcement; it's us. There is no cure for stupid. - Jacques (in S-E Ont)
I started wearing seat belts religiously after I witnessed an accident, well before I became a cop. A lady made a left turn on a yellow light in front of another car. The other car was a pickup with a bunch of kids in the back. Luckily, and almost miraculously, no one got hurt. But the driver of the car that turned was knocked out of the driver's seat and into the passenger seat. Over a center console. Now her car was rolling, out of control, and hit another car.
Strangely, it's not the fear of getting killed that makes me wear seat belts. It's the fear of loosing control. We are a strange bunch, us humans. But back to the point. I don't like government intervention. It's up to you. You know what the safest action is, and this being a free country, at least up until a few years ago, you should make your own decision. That goes for helmet laws too. Sometimes, being free means you spend a little more to pay for the care of people who made bad decisions. Throughout our history, good men have died to keep us free. A few extra dollars to do the same is well worth it. - Chris in Utah
[A lot of people include a quote or two at the bottom of their emails these days. I thought Chris' quotes fit so well with his comment that I decided to include them also. Hope you don't mind Chris.
It would indeed be ironic if, in the name of national defense, we would sanction the subversion of one of those liberties which make the defense of our nation worthwhile. - Earl Warren (1891-1974)
"It is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts... For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it." - Patrick Henry]
Re: Columbine Type Mayhem
In answer to your question, have we learned any thing in these last ten years, I'd have to say, not a whole lot. I still see and hear of school shootings, and bullies who go round making others lives miserable. I just today read of how a shooting took place in a nursing home in NC. The point is this. We don't need the mettle detectors, we don't need resource officers in schools. What we do need are more community services programs for kids who are showing signs of trouble, and some for those who are not. These states across our country need to be prioritizing a bit and spending some of their funds on these types of programs and less on the padding of pockets of the high ranking officials. We don't need see through back packs, we need to teach children from an early age that there are consequences for their actions, and darn well mean it. We need to enforce this no tolerance program for no guns or knives in school, but we also need to start a rewards program all across the nation that actually rewards students who do well. So, Did we learn any thing? No, not a darn thing. Could we learn? Of course we could.
A life is not measured by years lived, but by its usefulness. If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, and adding value to others, then you're living a life that counts! - Patty
Re: Drunk Not Driver
Answer to Chris in Utah
As you know, you can't drive a car without the keys being ion the ignition even if it's remote-started. The courts must be desperate for cash to start fining people for something like this. There was no intent to drive until he took the keys out and put them in. The cop must have been in a bad mood too. And remember, the guy was in a private parking lot; I think he (cop) overstepped his jurisdiction. You're right, give the guy a drive home. - Jacques (in S-E Ont)
Whatever happened to Tom in Oregon? Haven't heard from him in quite some time. - Noella
[I've wondered the same thing Noella. Tom? Are you out there??]
Wednesday's issue was mostly a hoax. Had anyone tried to submit a comment, a story, or whatever, from our link bar, they would have found a surprise instead of the link they expected.
If you saved the issue, or if you go to the archives, see if you can find the one and only 100% totally true article. Some were close. Some were totally fictitious. Some were built from a modicum of truth. Can you spot it?
Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won't get in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages. If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives, I'd appreciate it if you'd mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@... and point it out to me. I'm in the process of compiling an e-book called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I'd like to hear from you which pieces impacted you the most.
(Message over 64 KB, truncated)