A friend and her young son were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making a selection, my friend had lost sight of her child... TheRestOfTheStory!!!Message 1 of 1 , Apr 28, 2006View SourceA friend and her young son were browsingin a large bookstore. Engrossed in makinga selection, my friend had lost sight of herchild...
Updated frequently during the day!!!************************Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/************************Two UNC* students touring the
Sahara was dressed in bathing
suits. A Bedouin gazed at them
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
Check out this Blog:
Updated frequently!!!************************Dear Howdy,Please ask your readers to pray for the familiesof those who were killed and those who wereinjured as well as for the entire Taylor Universitycommunity. Thank you! SJD
http://www.taylor.edu/community/news/accident_04-26-06.htm************************When You've BeenHurt By Friendly FireStonewall Jackson was one of the South's greatest generals in the Civil War,and he died on the battlefield - shot by mistake by his own men. He's possiblythe most famous victim of one of war's greatest tragedies. They call it friendlyfire. It's bad enough that a fellow soldier is killed by enemy fire, but the heart -break is compounded when someone is shot by their own.
It happens in God's army; people who are deeply wounded, shot by their own.Hurt, betrayed, disappointed by church folks, by people who claim to be Christians.You may be one of those. You know the disillusionment that can cause, the cynicismabout anything Christian, the desire to distance yourself from Christian things likeyou'd keep away from a dog that had bitten you. If you've been spiritually woundedby friendly fire, you're on my heart today. More importantly, you're on God's heart;whether He's on your heart or not.
When you're physically wounded, you find medical help so you can recover. Howdo you recover from the spiritual and emotional wounds of friendly fire? Let me suggestfour steps to spiritual recovery. I don't think you want to keep living with the negativity,and self-pity, and resentment, and withdrawal of those who've been wounded; that stuffjust eats you up inside. I think you might be ready for some steps to recovery.
They focus on seven little words in Hebrews 12:1-2, our word for today from the Wordof God. These verses are about how to finish as a winner in the spiritual race we run hereduring our time on earth. It calls us to "...run with perseverance the race marked out for us.Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." I wish you could say thesefour words out loud a few times, "It's all about Jesus." Get your eyes off Christians and churchesand remember who got you started spiritually and who will be at the finish line: Jesus.
Recovery step number one is to realize it wasn't Jesus who hurt you. Maybe you've beenwithdrawing from Christians. Whatever you do, don't withdraw from Jesus. You've neverneeded Him more. Recovery step number 2: Defy Satan's strategy to isolate you so he canhave you. The Bible says, "The devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someoneto devour. Resist him..." (1 Peter 5:8-9) In Africa, lions try to catch a gazelle that's away fromthe herd. If they're alone, he can have them. If they're with the others, they're usually safe.God never designed for us to try to live for Christ alone. If you're holding back from gettingclose to some of your brothers and sisters in Christ, you're setting yourself up to be a lion lunch.
So, the third recovery step is this: Realize that God's people are where home is. That's whythe Bible warns us not to "give up meeting together." (Hebrews 10:25) There are many believerswho don't shoot their own, who are imperfect but genuinely loving people. You've got to riskfinding a church like that; you need them and they need you. One other recovery step: Let goof the resentment instead of letting it grow. Ask the God who has forgiven you so much togive you His grace to forgive those who've hurt you. The feelings you harbor aren't hurtingthem at all, but they're killing you!
Above all, don't let Christians make you miss Jesus! Jesus never said, "Follow My followers"or "Follow My leaders." He said, "Follow Me." It's all about Jesus - the One who died for yoursins so you wouldn't have to. It's ultimately Christ you accept or reject, not Christians. It's theCross you have to decide about, not the church. And it's Jesus you will meet when you've takenyour last breath. All that's going to matter then - all that really matters now - is what have youdone with Jesus? If you've never fully given yourself to Him as your only hope, don't let any -thing or anyone keep you from Him one more day!
I'd be very grateful if I could help you really belong to Him. One way that could happen is ifyou'd accept my invitation to visit our website. There's a brief explanation there of exactly howto begin your relationship with Jesus. Or, if you'd like to get a print version of Yours for Life,just call us and let us know at 877-741-1200.*
Your wounds are not a reason to stay away from Jesus. In fact, they're a reason to run to Him.He's waiting, as He has been for a long time, with arms wide open to love you. - - Ron Hutchcraft*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============The FCC &Our Kids
In McLean, Virginia, a young mother named Silvia began channel-surfing,
looking for something that would amuse her 4-year-old daughter. Up on the
screen popped something called "Girl Next Door." It was a photo shoot for a
Playboy centerfold, and it showed women in sexual poses, completely nude,
except for portions that were blurred.
"It was very clear what was going on," Silvia relates. She grabbed the
remotebut it was too late. Her little girl was already asking questions.
The program was not a cable or satellite offering. In fact, Silvia did not
even subscribe to those services because she knew it was hard to control
their content. However, even over-the-air broadcasts have hit a new all-time
It's just as bad on the radio. Another mother, this one in Seattle, was in
her kitchen with her 5-year-old son, searching for her favorite music
station. But instead of classical music, guess what: She heard a DJ using a
vulgar term to describe the female anatomy. As Robin put it, "My son learned
a new word that he wasn't ready to learn, and I wasn't ready to explain."
These moms are not alone in their disgust. Overwhelmingly, Americans loathe
having their children exposed to profanity and sexual vulgarity every time
they turn on the TV or radio. The networks don't seem to care. In fact, they
recently filed suit against the FCC over its decision to fine networks that
ignored community standards of decency. In their view, nobody has a right to
tell them what to do. Even during "family hour," they insist on airing
programs containing the "F" word. If parents don't like it, too bad.
This in-your-face attitude is indicative of how far our society has traveled
along the path of radical individualismespecially when it comes to anything
related to sex. Anything else can be restrainedsmoking in public, driving
without a seatbeltall on the grounds that it's good for society. But
restrain sexual expression? No wayespecially if it makes money.
And this is not without consequences. Just yesterday, I was advised by the
head of a juvenile court services unit in a large suburban county that sex
cases among juveniles are beginning to dominate their court dockets.
All of this is in contrast to the Judeo-Christian view that dominated our
culture for most of its history. The view says innocent children should be
protected from things that might harm themespecially ugly distortions of
human sexuality. If adults wanted to consume filth, they had to go to grubby
little theaters and bookstores to do itplaces that kept children safely
What can we do today to clean up the airwaves? We can ask our lawmakers to
support the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act. This bill would increase
fines and hold networks accountable if they break the rules.
The House overwhelmingly passed this bill a year ago. But it's gone nowhere
in the Senate. Yesterday, members of pro-family groups bombarded their
senators with calls. They reminded them about the networks' lawsuit against
the FCC. And they asked them to get behind the Broadcast Decency Enforcement
If you didn't call yesterday, I hope you'll call today, and get your friends
to call, too. We're working hard on Capitol Hill for this cause.
In reality, the networks are not declaring war on the FCC; they're declaring
war on our kids. Are we going to put up with itor are we going to fight
back? BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley
*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.===============Subscribe: Get your friends to join thedaily jollity/raillery by sending an e-mail to:===============Cross Examination
waiting in line at the checkout noticed the cashier was wearing a striking
cross around her neck. As he was paying for his groceries, he asked the
young cashier a question that startled her. "Are you a Christian?" he
Taken aback she said, "What do you mean?"
"Are you a Christian?" repeated my friend.
"Oh no," was the reply.
"Then why are you wearing a cross?" he asked.
"What, this?" she said, looking at her necklace. "Well, it's nice."
"But it wasn't nice," he replied. "It was horrible."
The point is a good one. The cross was a place of execution for serious
criminals, a horrific punishment that sought to inflict as much pain as
possible during a very slow death. Crucifixion was a terrifying ordeal;
yet the cross has become a symbol of dignity, self-sacrifice, heroism, and
hope that has impacted art, literature, and music with its potency. Today,
however, the cross is little understood, being worn as a piece of jewelry
by those who have no idea what they are wearing or what it means. Out of
the thousands of people who were crucified by the Romans, why is it that
we remember Jesus of Nazareth?
Jesus made it clear that he had come to die; he predicted it specifically
in detail several times. He was to be lifted up on a cruel cross in order
to draw people to himself. Death did not take him by surprise. His life
was not taken from him; he gave it up willingly. Nothing is clearer in
the Gospels than the fact that Jesus was going to lay down his life for
the sake of others.
When Jesus went to the Cross, he was despised as though he were worse than
the worst criminal. He was beaten and insulted. Though he came to save
us, we spat in his face and mocked the very one who made and sustains us.
He was crucified; he endured the curse of sin though he had committed no
sin, so that we (like Barabbas) might not have the penalty inflicted upon
us; he took the death blow in our stead. The Cross shows beyond doubt the
immeasurable love of God for us, while clearly laying open the wickedness
of sin and his hatred of it.
When truly understood, the moral power of the Cross is overwhelming.The Cross remains the crux of the story in which we find ourselves. Christ
stood in the middle of two separated parties to bring reconciliation. He
came as our substitute, so that we, as violators of the law, can be
liberated from the fear of death or judgment and can experience life in
every way that God intended. The Scripture says that in this way, as our
mediator, Jesus made "purification for sins" (Hebrews 1:3). The Cross
satisfied public and divine justice and demonstrated God's mercy to the
entire world. So, as it is written, "having been made perfect, he became
the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him" (Hebrews 5:9).
Jesus promised that his death on the Cross would draw people to himself-a
promise that for centuries has remained true. God's love, generosity, and
mercy are the basis of his atonement because mercy has always been the
great principle of his government. Jesus tells us there is immense joy in
heaven when someone repents and turns to God (Luke 15:10). It is God's
highest joy to forgive, and our highest joy is to receive.
The only question that remains is: Will we throw down our arms? After all
Christ has done for us through his agony on the Cross, will we accept the
peace terms? Our substitute wants to be our liberator!
Joe Boot is executive director of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Canada.-------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
tell them to ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).==============="Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to considerwell the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christwhich is eternal life (John 17:3)."- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives accordingto the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, thefountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the dutiesof religion, both in public and secret."- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter===============The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could notcrush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp itout with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask whythis book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with suchanimosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvinresponds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly orreluctantly." - Joe Boot===============
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
==============='Thought & Humor' - often polemical butnever tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.===============Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
God designed humans to want to believe in something.That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the Godof the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believein everything -- including Little Green Men.- - Chuck Colson===============Dear Howdy,Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidatefor the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what weall need...please keep up the great works!!!Type atcha later...God bless you,Phil HWI===============It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.- - Isa 40:22===============The So-Called 'Gospel' of Judas
Unmasking an Ancient Heresy
Welcome to Holy Week, American style. Just as millions of Christians are
preparing to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the media is once again
out to debunk historical Christianity.
Just last weekend I was in an airport bookstore and saw the new book counter
filled with numerous editions of The Da Vinci Code. Then I picked up the New
York Times, and there I was greeted with the headline on the front page that
read, "In Ancient Document, Judas, Minus the Betrayal."
You probably have seen the hype, including a one-hour National GeographicTV spectacular: After seventeen hundred years, the story goes, the long-lost
text of the so-called "Gospel of Judas" has re-surfaced. It claims that
Jesus secretly told Judas to betray Him; so Judas is really a good disciple.
Well, it's not a new discovery. This "new gospel" and the heresy it
espousesGnosticismwere rejected as fiction by Christian leadersand the Church as early as 180 A.D. (See: Irenaeus of Lyons)
Gnosticism was an attempt to add to Christianity an essentially Eastern
worldview dressed up with Christian language. It was presented to the Roman
world as the true Gospelcomplete with endless mysteries that only those
with secret knowledge could unravel. Many unsuspecting people were
enthralled with Gnostic writings, particularly their sometimes gory and
salacious initiation ceremonies. Christian pastors and theologians
repeatedly rejected all forms of Gnosticism, until, by the middle of the
third century, it had all but disappeared.
But now it is back with a vengeance, with supposed discoveries and works
like Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. It provides the means for Christianity's
detractors to debunk the historical Jesus, and it certainly sells books.
Seven million copies of The Da Vinci Code is testimony to that. Gnosticism
has particular appeal today because of the postmodern age, which has
rejected historical truth. So you can find God any way you wish, through
your own group. This, of course, is the belief that is at the root of the
spreading New Age movement.
The danger is that we have a biblically illiterate population. People today
don't knowmaybe don't carewhether there is a difference between the Gospel
of Judas and the Gospel of John. They are unfamiliar with the work of the
ancient canonical counci
(Message over 64 KB, truncated)