I guess it's in the testosterone.
Guys are just wired to build something; a business,
a church, furniture, home
improvement projects. Some men build a team, some build
financial security for their
family, and some just build a name for themselves. Even I've
felt motivated to build a few
things and I'm the ultimate un-handyman. There was the little
tree house - well, more like a
tree platform - but the kids enjoyed it. The dollhouse for our
daughter. The miniature barn for
our son. There's a reason that God put this building thing
in guys. Some of us have a really
big project to build!
When God trusts a man with
a son, He is putting in his hands probably the most important
building project of his life. If a
man builds a mighty empire or a billion dollar enterprise and
loses his son, can we call his life
a true success? A boy will decide what the word "man" means
based on the first one he knows and
the one he knows best - his dad. A boy will likely decide
what God is like - and whether or
not he wants anything to do with Him - based on how his dad
- because God has introduced Himself to us as our Heavenly Father.
How a man treats the women in his life; what he thinks
really matters - what he thinks really
doesn't matter, he'll get that
from copying the biggest man in his life - his father. And how
many boys have grown up into men
who are never sure they were good enough, always
insecure, and always feeling like
they have something to prove. Because the main man
in his shaping years failed to
make him feel loved and confident and valuable. Building
a son - now that takes a real man.
Tearing one down - that's not much of a man at all.
There's a revealing picture of how a father builds a son in our
word for today from the
Word of God in Matthew 3:16-17.
Jesus, God's Son, is about to launch into the earthly
ministry that His Father sent Him to
earth for. His first public act is to be baptized by
John the Baptist. And it's there
that we get an incredible glimpse behind the veil at the
awesome relationship between God the
Father and God the Son. The Bible tells us:
"As soon as Jesus was baptized, He
went up out of the water ... And a voice from
said, 'This is My Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.'"
Here's the Father affirming His approval of His Son - a vote
of confidence that must
have meant a lot to Jesus as He
headed out into the battle. It's a demonstration of the
power of a father's praise at the
highest possible level. It's what your son desperately
needs from you, Dad. 1
Thessalonians 2:12 describes in three action words how a father
should treat his children -
"encouraging, comforting and urging." The question is, Dad,
how do you try to motivate your
children; especially your boy? With shame? With silence?
By giving love when they perform
and withdrawing it when they don't? By never letting
them know where they really stand?
That's not building a boy. That's dismantling a boy.
He needs your praise - frequently. He needs the kind of
focused time with you that says
to him, "I like you, son. I want to
be with you." Your son needs your undivided attention
when he's talking so he learns that
what he says is important to you, just because he's
saying it. And often your son needs
to hear your compliments, your pleasure, your pride
in him. You can give him the courage
that he'll need to lead, to say no to the pressure,
great things, to treat other people like they're important.
You build a son by building up your son, by often helping
him see the awesome thing
God did when He created that boy.
Even God the Father launched His Son into life with
His public approval. How can you
do any less for the son He's given you?