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LadyHawke's Weekly Jokes Table of Content
o Ways to Keep Your Sanity...
o Ways to Keep Your Sanity...
o "Little Johnny's Dinner Story"
o Links du Jour
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Ways to Keep Your Sanity...
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
Dont use any punctuation marks
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
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Ways to Keep Your Sanity...
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard Kim.
When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!",
"I won!", "Third time this week!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go."
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"Little Johnny's Dinner Story"
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the
playground and going into the woods. Curious,
he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain
himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother
"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND
AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants
to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I
saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.
I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big
kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt
Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane
laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny,
this is such an interesting story, suppose you save
the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look
on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his
story. He describes the car into the woods, the
undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy
and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle
Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
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