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LadyHawke's Weekly Jokes Table of Content
o "Visiting the Sick"
o Chosen Links du Jour
o "Senior Dress Code"
o Thrills and Delights du Jour
o "Life's Simple Pleasures"
o Lucky 7 Links du Jour
I never refuse a prayer, even from a different religion...
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"Visiting the Sick"
Several women from church were visiting
elderly Mrs. Diamond who had been ill for
a very long time.
After a while, they rose to leave and told her,
"Esther, we will keep you in our prayers."
"Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing
woman said, "I can do my own praying."
Chosen Links du Jour
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Quote du Jour
"Better slip with foot than with tongue."
-- Benjamin Franklin
"Always keep your words soft and sweet, just
in case you have to eat them."
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"Senior Dress Code"
Many of us "Older Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50,
or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we
should present ourselves. We are unsure about the
kind of image we are projecting and whether or not
we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the
following combinations DO NOT go together and
should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and Cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last, but not least.......
13. Thongs and Depends
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Thrills and Delights du Jour
Kitty du Jour
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Doggie du Jour
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Kid du Jour
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Car Troubles du Jour
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Game du Jour
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"Life's Simple Pleasures"
A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they
came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said,
"The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one
underneath is carrying him to the doctor."
"They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?" said
the little one.
"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little
girl, "and they'll screw you every time!"
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Lucky 7 Links du Jour
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